Chương 38: Chapter 37 - Talking to Death

It was late evening. Outside, it was so dark, the windows of the drawing room looked like black panes of glass, hiding the small sanctuary from the rest of the world. Anna had prevailed at last; Jacky was teaching her how to play chess. She was a slow and thoughtful player. Jan and Jacob tried to pay attention to what she was doing, but if she took too long to decide her move, they went off to the side of the room to play with each other.

While Jacky had nearly endless patience, Anna was a beginner, and he found that he didn't always have to focus on the board. Occasionally, he would allow his attention to wander.

"Why socks?" Jacob and Jan stopped what they were doing when they heard Jacky's question. Anna looked up. Noctis pointed to the fireplace mantle. Below the twisted evergreen boughs and homemade garland, there was a row of socks, hanging from heavy brass holders.

"And why are they so large?" Jacky asked. Jacob came over.

"Emerra said they were stockings."

"She says that's what Sinterklaas fills with toys and candy," Jan explained.

"That's why they have to be big. So you can get more toys."

"People pretend to have larger feet than they do?" Jacky puzzled over this.

"I thought such duplicitous behavior would relegate you to the naughty list." Anna pointed to her knight, then to the square she wanted it moved to. As Jacky moved the piece, Anna said, "I told Emerra it was the wrong time, but she said it was for decoration." Noctis watched Anna for a moment, then used his bishop to take the newly placed knight. He set the horse beside the rest of her fallen army.

"Traditions change," Jacky noted.

"If I remember right, the man of the north used to come early in December, but now he comes on Christmas Eve." If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"Why did it change?" Jacob asked. Noctis shrugged.

"A man who fails to question the excessive nature of seasonal footwear probably isn't all that reliable." Jan giggled.

"Maybe he likes giving children more presents," Jacob said.

"If that's the case, he probably doesn't care so much when he gives them—only that he's allowed to." Anna bit her lip and pointed from one of her pawns to a space near the middle of the board.

"Only two spaces on their first move, Miss Anna," Noctis reminded her. She retreated her finger by an inch, and Jacky executed the move.

"Is he going to come?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know," Jacky said.

"Emerra doesn't seem to think so."

"That surprises me. She hasn't been unusually naughty." The game forgotten, Anna laughed and looked up at Jacky.

"He doesn't come for adults! He only comes for children."

"Are you sure? If he's lived long enough that you know him, I wonder if he would find it so easy to differentiate between a child and an adult." The ghosts found this idea so confusing that they assumed Jacky was teasing them the way Emerra teased them. They smiled, but Jan still felt compelled to correct him.

"No, he can tell."

"I can't." The bare simplicity of Jacky's statement made the children realize he was serious.

"I think it's because I'm timeless," Noctis said.

"I don't see the days and the months. They mean nothing to me. Every person is only a person—there, in the moment I meet them—whether they have only a few hours, or…three hundred and eighty years." Jacky looked at the ghosts.

"Yet Emerra still treats you like children. So it can't be time. It must be something else."

"We never grew up," Anna said.

"No, but you know enough to make your own choices and do what you feel is right."

"But we don't know much," Jacob said.

"Neither does Emerra. Take my word for it." Jan wasn't going to allow that kind of traitorous talk.

"Emerra's smart!"

"She is. And she's very kind. She loves you, you know. I think everyone in this house has grown fond of you, but Emerra, especially, loves you. She would do almost anything to protect you."

"We know," Anna said.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes," Jacob said.

"I wonder how much you love her," Jacky mused.

"That's the only way I know to mark the difference between a morally accountable soul and a child too young to know better—do they know enough about love to know about the sacrifice that isn't a sacrifice?" The children fell silent. They loved Emerra with a fierce loyalty, and each of them sensed that this was not a conversation she would want them to be having. But they also liked Jacky because he didn't treat them like children. Noctis took Anna's pawn with his knight.

"Tomorrow," he said, "they may need your help, and they will not even think to ask for it because of how much they love you, so I will ask for it now."

"Because you don't love us?" Jan said. Jacky leaned back in his chair. His elbows went to the side, and he interlaced his finger bones.

"I'm asking because I love them, and I won't be able to help them. And because I believe you know everything there is to know about sacrifice."