Chương 25: Chapter 24 - The Shepherd

I was watching Dominie. He was sitting at his chair by the window, even though the sun was long gone. A candle burned beside him on the small table. It's flickering flame woke me up to how much my heart was trembling. He looked cold. The whole room, cast in shadows, looked cold, but I was too numb to feel it. I walked further away from the fire.

"Dominie." He took a breath.

"Anna."

"What are you reading?" He flipped the sheet over so I couldn't see it.

"I was writing."

"What were you writing?"

"Writing? At this hour of night?" He cupped his hand around the candle flame and blew it out.

"That would be a dreadful waste. It can wait." He was avoiding my question. That meant he wouldn't answer.

"You should come eat," I said. Dominie stood up and went over to the hook where his still-wet cloak was hanging by the fire.

"I'm going out, Anna." He stopped in front of the hearth and looked at the two small figures huddle together on the bed in the corner.

"Look after Jacob and Jan for me."

"But you haven't eaten!" He put the cloak over his arm and came back to me. After kneeling down, he put his hand on my shoulder.

"You'll do me a favor, won't you? I've wasted enough supplies this evening, but I'm not hungry. Could you share out my food between you and the boys?"

"You tried this last week. You couldn't sleep, remember?"

"And when I don't do it, I can't sleep over the rumbling of three bellies."

"I won't do it." He shrugged.

"Ah well, throw it out in the yard then. Some hungry animal will be grateful, I'm sure." My cheeks grew a shade hotter, but then I was too tired to stand. I sat on the bare floor.

"Anna?"

"You won't argue with me."

"And you won't do as I say. It seems like a fair trade."

"Dominie, please don't go." He sat down on the floor beside me.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I have to go."

"I think something's out there." He was silent a long time, then he said, "Why do you think that?"

"Jacob and Jan won't go outside. They say it smells. Yesterday, when I was taking Jan to the bathroom, he started shaking and threw up."

"Can you smell it too?"

"Sometimes. Mr. Mulder says it's the wind, carrying the smell in from a huge lake that's far away. Can it really do that?" Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

"I don't know." Dominie stood up.

"Anna, I want you to stay inside. If one of you has to use the bathroom, go together. Stay by the fire. Stay warm. Don't…don't listen to the wind. It's nothing but wind." He threw his cloak on.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go talk to the mayor."

"Can't you stay here?"

"I'm his shepherd, Anna. Someone has to talk to him, and he might listen to me."

"Mr. Peters said he would talk to him."

"The other elders say he won't listen to them."

"But Mr. Peters—""Mr. Peters is missing, Anna. He's gone. His wife stopped me in the street to ask if I had seen him." My heart bawled. Even that little pain was enough to leave me empty. I curled up on the floor.

"Another one?" I felt Dominie's hands on my arm and back. He helped me to my feet, then knelt there, staring me in the eyes, his face only a few inches from mine.

"Anna, I know I'm asking a lot of you, and I'm sorry that I have to leave an adult's burden on a child, but please, look after Jacob and Jan. They need you. Promise me you'll take care of them. Then, when I get back, I'll be the strong one."

"I promise."

"Thank you." He left. I had to do my duty immediately. If I sat down, it would only be harder to get back up. I went over to the plate I'd left in the chair by the fire, picked it up, and took it over to the bed.

"Jacob, Jan, wake up. There's some food we have to eat." It was a slow process—rising to consciousness, then finding the energy to move the blankets. I waited. When they were sitting up, I sat down on the floor by the bed.

"Come down. We shouldn't eat in bed."

"It's cold," Jan said.

"Bring the blanket." We huddle together, leaning against the bed frame, eating the morsels of food I had done my best to rip into three even parts.

"Where's Dominie?"

"He had to go talk to the mayor." Jacob stopped with his hand half raised to his mouth.

"It's dark. He shouldn't be out after dark."

"Eat, Jacob." He finished bringing the food to his mouth, but then he put it down again.

"I don't feel good."

"Please eat, Jacob." Weak tears only dewed up the corners of my eyes.

"What if he doesn't come back?"

"He'll come back." Jan wrapped his tiny arms around me.

"I'm scared," he whispered. I put the plate down in front of me and put one arm around each of them.

"Don't worry. He'll come back." I woke up, still feeling the painful fear closing in around my lungs. Fear, fear, fear! I could write an encyclopedia about all the flavors of dread. The kind that wakes you up in a panic. The kind that drives you to your knees. Or, like tonight, the kind that leaves you sitting there with a low-key ache in your chest. When the anxiety finally let go, there was no relief. It went from fear to sadness. Missing. Presumed dead. Oh, Dominie. I swung my legs over the edge of my cot.

When I looked up, I noticed Anna's eyes were open. I stood up and walked over to the bed.

"Hi, sweetie," I whispered.

"Did you dream?"

"I did."

"Was it one of ours?" Darius thought I couldn't protect the dead, huh? Just watch me. I put a hand to my chest.

"What? I can't even have my own dreams anymore? Maybe I want to dream about ponies and puppies, and warm woolen mittens all tied up with string." Anna smiled.

"You're very strange."

"I've been told that."

"I like you, Emerra." I had to blink back a little bit of sentiment that got caught in my eyes.

"And I like you guys, you know that? I'm glad I got to meet you." Beside her, Jan curled up and murmured something in his sleep. Anna glared at me.

"Shhhh."

"Right!" I whispered.

"I'm going downstairs for a while. Will you be okay?" She nodded. I left the door slightly open, rather than risk the noise of it clunking shut in its old wood frame. Then I made my way over to the front stairs. The great landing was empty, and the Christmas lights were off. For a second I thought about turning them on and stopping there, but the lofted ceiling over the stairs made it colder than the rest of the house, and I didn't have my Conrad with me that night. Rats. I went downstairs and over to the kitchen.

Igor had made me his own blend of instant hot cocoa because, "I'm not getting up in the middle of the night for you." Not that I had asked him to. But it was impossible for him to admit he'd done something nice for someone else. I told him I appreciated his selfishness. I was waiting by the electric kettle, to stop it before it beeped too much, when I heard a voice behind me.

"Is that a two-cup minimum?" It was Conrad.

"Yeah," I said.

"That means I'll have some extra water. Do you want in on this?"

"I'll need it. Knowing you, we'll be bingeing all those episodes you've been missing over the past few weeks." I pulled out a second mug and added the powder.

"The anime can wait."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"I was thinking of watching some Christmas cartoons." He grunted.

"But that does." I poured the hot water into the mugs.

"Too late! I've made you cocoa. You have to stick around long enough to drink it." He eyed me as I handed him his mug. I waited.

"All right. Let's go watch some Christmas shows."

"Thank you, Conrad."