Chương 37: Death Note

"What? Me? You think that's where... this happened?" Grim asked as she wiggled her shoulder.

"I can't confirm it, but I'm damn confident. They didn't find anyone at the scene once backup arrived, and I was stonewalled when I asked about it. I thought I had hit a dead end until I was at poker night with some members of my old Coven. See, they were still active, and Lannigan there had too much to drink, and he started talking about this little girl being transported from one of the cities high security facilities. Only they ended up dropping her off at a foster home.

He hadn't thought too much into it, but he was going on about shit luck losing your parents and getting injured like that. I tried asking more, but my sudden interest spooked him, and he wouldn't speak of it again. After that I cross-referenced all the homes that were public, there'd been some effort in keeping it hidden but I was able to figure it out," Phil explained as he got up and poured himself a glass of water, while also passing one to Grim.

"So someone killed everyone at the Gate incursion except for me, then after that Eternity cleaned everything up, wiped my memory and put me in a foster home? Why go through all that trouble? Why not just kill me? I'm a bit unusual but that's only because of the aura I'm leaching. They could've done that to anyone."

"You're right, and I'm not sure why, but you could. We could figure this out right now and bring the people who did all this to justice. We could make the people who hurt you, pay." She'd just have to give up Hazel. Instinctively she knew if she wasn't leaching aura she wouldn't be able to manifest her, and she had a feeling they wouldn't be able to talk anymore, not even in her head. She was still manifested when she was in that state, even if she wasn't corporeal.

There was a painful knot in her thigh, likely caused by her walk earlier. Her palm pressed into the flesh as far as she could, trying to massage it out. No matter how hard she pushed, it didn't help.

"Probably figure out my actual name, huh?" Grim chuckled alone.

"A lot of other stuff, too. Important stuff. It'd make what came next a hell of a lot easier."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just, I'm not sure. I need to talk to Hazel." Phil nodded, "Go right ahead, if you're not gonna pass out from it. Just don't let her get in the way of stopping you from what you have to do. She's not real, she's a construct built by the system. Besides, it wouldn't be goodbye forever. Remember that." He got up from his seat and left after that, taking the same exit that Doctor Lalok had taken. The room after that was quiet, with only a gentle hum from the fans cooling the computers.

She went to summon Hazel but hesitated for a long while, she wasn't quite sure why her heart rate rose and she felt trapped in such an empty room, but she did. Maybe because despite no one stopping her, there was nowhere for her to run.

"Fuck," she said as she put her head down on the table.

"Who am I gonna have left?" She couldn't go back home, not after knowing the Watch was trying to find her. So that meant no Jeremy and no Chloe. She couldn't say they were all that close, even after everything, but it was still something. Take away Hazel too and just... fuck. On the bright side, her and Phil, dynamic duo taking down corruption and the government. What a dream that would be. She summoned Hazel, the force of it caused a sharp sting to hit her soul, but she powered through it.

She wasn't quite recovered yet, but she would do this. Whatever it took. Her shadow was slow and drifted lazily away from herself before coalescing into a human-sized shape on a chair beside her. Colour formed in the shadow and, like a sculptor molding clay, Hazel appeared. She looked terrible with even more burns than they normally had, which was hard to believe. Once she was fully materialized, she jerked up and spun her head around, looking for something.

"Why can't I see?" Hazel asked. Grim couldn't help but laugh, "Guess her Boon doesn't work for you too. I wonder how that works." She continued to look around, bewildered, "Is this not alarming for you? Are we just collecting disabilities now?" Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"Might be, what should we get next? Deaf? We're already halfway there." Hazel glared at her, telling her all she needed to know about her thoughts on that matter. Grim laughed, and they spent the next ten minutes filling each other in on what had happened while they were separated. She'd been hiding when Grim had gone to Seir's dimension, instinctively, she knew not to reveal herself there.

Clearly it hadn't helped, but on the bright side she'd copied one of Seir's ice boons and used that to freeze the water before it all boiled through. Grim told her about everything that'd been revealed to her the past hour, and she noted how Hazel froze up while she was speaking. She didn't add much to the conversation or share any insight, the most she gave were acknowledgements that she was listening.

That in itself was more telling than almost anything she could've said, if she was afraid of answering, it must have been the memory Boon that was stopping her. That affected Hazel, but the one giving her eyesight didn't? The system gave her such a headache. Trying to wrap her head around all of it was a maze, she just didn't have a basis of understanding on which to figure anything out. If there even was an answer.

After her slight pause to think she went over the decision she'd have to make and what that would mean for her and Hazel. It was silent after both of them digesting that as it was said out loud and made real. Hazel's eyes were cloudy and directionless, except for when they looked at Grim, as if she was the only thing she could see.

"I think you should do it," Hazel said.

"Why?"

"Well, you wanna know what happened to you, don't you? Why you're like this? Don't tell me you don't want revenge now? You hacked down a tree in broad daylight over a letter." Grim looked away.

"Don't remind me."

"If you're worried about me, don't be. It would fill me with joy to do this for you, that is literally my purpose. To help you. I got you to D-rank, you'll be able to protect yourself without me for a little while, and the time will be over in an instant for me. I won't even notice, really, it's a pleasant dream when I'm not summoned."

"Are you sure? We could wait until I'm strong enough to summon you on my own, we could also find it out the old-fashioned way. We're at a good place to start-" Hazel interrupted her, "Grim, stop. I want you to do this. Please, I am begging you. You talked about doing something I want, right? This is it, this is what I want." Grim felt her nose hurt as she crinkled it, her eyes got warm.

"That's not fair."

"When have we ever been about things being fair? This is the best option for you, it's what we wanted. Don't back out now just cause you're worried about me." Grim felt a flash of anger, and before she could stop it she'd thrown the folder aside, the contents flying into the air before floating to the ground. She stood over Hazel, her chest heaving, "You think I'm worried about you? I'm worried about myself. See, I knew this would happen. I knew you'd want to leave too.

You said you wouldn't, and Saints, I must be stupid because I believed you." Hazel's eyes crinkled as hurt flared across her face. Unconsciously she curled into herself, looking smaller than she, they, already did. She flailed blindly for Grim's hand and, by what must have been sheer luck, she found it. Grim felt the warmth for a moment before she ripped her hand away.

"Grim, stop. It's not like that."

"It's not? The first chance you get to leave, and you wanna take it? You're a fucking liar."

"I just want to help you! Please," Hazel begged as she stood up and tried to wrap her arms around grim.

"You need to know!" Grim grabbed her shadow's shoulder and shoved her, hard. She wasn't used to her new D-class strength, and Hazel hit the ground hard. Guilt immediately hit her, a portion of it tempering her rage but not enough to kill it. She wished she hadn't done that.

"I don't want your fucking help." Grim said.

"Goodbye. I'll see you in ten years." Grim memorized the sight of Hazel on the ground, burning it into her memory. She'd forgotten a lot, but she didn't want to forget this. Her shadow would soon be just her shadow again.