Chương 22: Healing

Grim had just enough strength to enter her room and close the door before she collapsed. She tried to push herself up from the ground, but she lost consciousness before she could. When she woke up, she wasn't sure what time it was. It was still dark outside, so it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours. Her arm was numb, and in between the deep-set exhaustion she felt, there was the soreness that came with sleeping on the floor.

She wiped her nose, and her hand came away with a smattering of crusted blood; beneath her was a large red stain from where she'd been lying.

"Fuck me, really?" She couldn't really remember, but she'd thought the bleeding had stopped. Guess not. She wasn't going to bother with cleaning that up at the moment. She'd dealt with plenty of blood stains in the past, so it wouldn't be a problem, but she just didn't have the energy for it. She'd recovered enough to stand and drag herself to her bed, but not much more than that. Her phone was dead, so she checked her laptop and saw that it wasn't dark because it was the middle of the night.

It was the middle of tomorrow night. Her stomach growled, which made sense. She'd been asleep for almost a day and a half. She sniffed herself and scowled, she smelt like it too. There were so many things she needed to do, but despite herself, she fell asleep again.

Several days after, she had recovered enough to limp. Phil finally contacted her and gave her a meeting location. It wouldn't be for another couple of days, which worked for her; her hand was just about healed from when she'd ripped off half her skin and the rest of her injuries should be managable. During their conversation, she also told him that she'd seen a vehicle that kept driving by her house, but otherwise, she hadn't heard from the remnants of Cede's gang.

She didn't think that would be the last she'd heard of them, but she wasn't going to search them out for herself. Things were tense around the house still. Chloe seemed caught between avoiding her and trying to figure out what she was up to, while Jin and Louis tried to pretend everything was normal. It wasn't but they should have won an award for acting like it was. Grim didn't leave her room much, partly to avoid them and partly because everything still hurt.

She'd needed the time to recover; some of her wounds were still scabbed over from selection day. Around that time, Hazel had recovered enough to be summoned again. She slithered out from her shadow in a tank top and shorts, dressed for comfort. The wounds she had taken were healed, which was not fair. Grim laid in her bed, too sore and in pain to get up.

"Goooood morning!" Hazel said. Grim rolled her eyes, it was too early for this, "Look who's finally awake." Hazel looked offended, "Says you, you've barely moved."

"Some of us aren't made of shadows, you can't blame me. You cheat. You're a cheater." A pillow hit Grim in the face.

"I've never cheated at anything in my life. You know that." Hazel said. Grim chucked the pillow back at Hazel, but she dodged it. Before Hazel could throw it back, Grim threw up her arms, "I surrender, if you don't throw that at me you can come under the covers." Hazel pretended to deliberate but as soon as Grim lifted up the blanket she dropped the pillow and crawled over her to scoot inside the covers. Once she was settled Grim grabbed her laptop and resumed playing a show she'd already seen a thousand times.

They weren't really watching it but she appreciated the background noise.

"So, you know anything about your upgrades?" Hazel turned to her, "Oh yeah! [SHADOW VESTIGE] ranked up. There were a couple of different options, and I'm really sorry, but I picked one without asking you."

"It's fine. What'd you get?"

"I can copy boons almost instantly when I'm touching someone now." Grim tilted her head, "That's pretty good. Speaking of upgrades, I levelled up [FRIENDLY SHADOW]." Hazel mouth dropped, "What? Really? Tell me everything." Over the next half hour, Grim went over what had happened. Hazel usually could see everything that was happening around Grim, but her skill was so burnt out that she couldn't remember anything. Hazel was very curious about what her upgrades meant but couldn't offer much in the way of explanation.

After seeing that she couldn't get anything out of her shadow, she went into detail about using [CEDE] to find out what answers she could get. Hazel was simultaneously intrigued and horrified. She made Grim promise never to do anything like that again without her, especially since it sounded like her ego almost got absorbed into the system. Stolen story; please report. The thought was a little terrifying.

"So I've got a few guesses on what each one does," Grim said.

"Tell me."

"It seemed like [MALEVOLENT SHADOW] was all about fighting, you'd grow scales and claws to become a lot more scary. [TWIN SHADOW] was weird, I think it could go a couple different way but I think it would make another one of you." Hazel shook her head and whined, "I don't want scales and you're not allowed to replace me."

"What about [HEALING GLOOM]? This one was the most confusing, it felt really good... but in a bad way. I'm not sure what would've happened to me if Chloe hadn't come into the bathroom."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It was just really nice. Like I didn't have to worry about anything anymore. It was very tempting, but at the same time, I didn't even notice I was pushing so hard with [CEDE] that I was crying blood."

"It seems like the best option, you know, besides all of that," Chloe gestured with her hands.

"I have a bad feeling about having another shadow. It feels like instead of another me it would just make both of us… less? If that makes sense. And the scales could be really good but if its permanent or turns me into a monster then I can't be in public with you without somebody trying to kill me for boon shards."

"Yeah, I think it would help a lot but I really don't want you changing too much. We'll go with [HEALING GLOOM], and if it ends up being bad for me, we just won't use it," Grim decided. YOU HAVE CHOSEN [HEALING GLOOM] CONFIRM Y/N She confirmed and she waited for something to happen but nothing did. She didn't feel any different.

"I don't think it worked," Grim said.

"No, it definitely did." Hazel said as she stumbled and fell down to one knee. Grim picked her up, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, actually, I feel... great. Like my whole body is buzzing with energy." Oh great, Hazel with more energy was exactly what she needed.

"Can you... I don't know, use it? Or something," Grim asked. She pursed her mouth, concentrating, "Yeah, I think so. Hold on. I don't think my boons changed, I think I changed."

"And you didn't exactly come with a user manual as is."

"If I'm difficult, it's because you are," Hazel fired back. She had a point, Grim conceded. Beside her, Hazel threw off the covers, much to Grim's dissatisfaction. She climbed over her to leave the bed and stand on the floor. She raised up one hand and flexed the end of it. Grim felt a pull on their connection and she saw Hazel partially turn back into a shadow. When she'd done that in the past she'd always been pulled back into place beside Grim but this time she didn't.

Her shadow got halfway towards her but stopped. Grim could feel the connection start to pull harder, and if she wanted to she could force it but she just let Hazel experiment. She was curious on what was happening. The shadow grew and Hazel rematerialized, "I think I almost had it."

"What are you trying to do?"

"Let me try again before I lose it, I'll explain after," Hazel said. Grim nodded, she could wait. She lifted her hand again, and Grim felt the tug. This time, instead of melting back into a shadow, she lost her humanlike features but maintained her silhouette. She held this half-transformation for almost ten seconds before it dropped, and she was back in her human form. It seemed to take a lot out of her, and Grim even felt a bit of strain coming through their link.

"You'd definitely scare some little kids looking like that." Hazel gave her a short glare but otherwise ignored her as she raised her hand again. She looked tired from her last attempt, but she still pulled on their link again. She did the same as before and got into that halfway state. Instead of her transforming into one or another, starting at the top of her head, the shadow moved down her body. Where it passed, she fully materialized, like pulling off a layer of skin.

Her brows furrowed as she concentrated on pulling the shadow back. She was moving slowly, careful not to let it get out of her control. The shadow grew darker as she pulled it; it seemed to compress. The volume of shadow never decreased; it was just put into a smaller area. The last of it travelled down her arm, roiling like fire as she pushed it all into her hand. The pieces she lost control of turned into smoky shadows and evaporated into the air. She turned towards Grim and put her hand out.

It was pitch black, and the shadow hugged her skin as much as it could. Hazel grit her teeth, "Give me your arm." Grim got up but hesitated, "Why? Are you sure this is safe?"

"I can't hold it for much longer." She hesitated, but she got close enough for Hazel to grab her and, by proxy, gave her permission. Hazel grabbed her arm, her fingers digging into the flesh underneath. Hazel winced, and relaxed her grip before Grim could complain. It had been a little strong. The shadow poured forth from where she held it and fell onto Grim's bandages. Hazel moved her hand until Grim's entire arm was covered. The shadow flickered where it touched her skin, like embers from a fire.

A cooling sensation came with it and to a lesser extent, the euphoria she had felt when she'd almost gone into the core of the upgrade. It was a lot more muted and manageable than it was before. Just as she was getting used to it, it stopped, and Grim almost complained to Hazel about turning off the magic feel-good shadow when she saw her leaning against her wall, looking like she was going to pass out.

"Oh shit, are you okay?" Grim asked as she ran up to support her. Hazel took a second, "Yeah, I'll be fine. That was just a lot. I feel weird." Grim considered that and felt around her skill. It actually was strained and resembled the time Volk had knocked her out. It hadn't been as bad as the times she'd actually died but it was close enough to be alarming.

"Whatever you did ate away directly at your skill, if you went for much longer I think you would've burnt yourself out," Grim said. If she had, she wasn't sure how long it would take for her to come back. [CEDE] felt like it was almost back, but it was still unusable. Hazel grabbed her water bottle from her night stand and chugged it, when she finished half the bottle she put it down and wiped her lips, "I feel like it, but I think it was worth it."

"What did you even do?" Hazel grinned, "Take your bandages off and we'll see."