Chương 26: Even Still More Discoveries

The next few days pass in a whirlwind. I teach classes, help Ellir with the scrying training, practice my Acclimation, and re-read that book every damn night. I still can't figure out who sent it my way, or even how they realized I was looking into this. How did they know it would fall into the right hands? Power drifts to like power Yes, yes. I get that the book found me. Surely someone had to put it there though? It makes me look at every single person in the Enclave with renewed wariness.

To tap into the stone, to see if I can get any type of read off anyone around me. While we're a secretive bunch by nature, I'd never felt this sort of misgiving until reading this book. The text takes everything I've ever believed in and turns it upside down. Not necessarily my revenge. That's still on the table. But the way Arralesh works. We were always told that the Courts ruled, and filtered down power to the Orders, and from there it fell to the individual. As a simplified explanation.

But there is no room anywhere in there for a society that runs on magic. Not anymore. There is no space left in our histories for the feats of magic and what they did. There's no way Korrien, for example, was built by masons. The way the buildings seamlessly mesh in with the mountain. Not to mention the catacombs and I'm sure there are dungeons too. The more I look at our world and how we're living, the more I realize that there's a taste of magic everywhere we look. We're leaning on it.

We're thriving because of it. And it's all but forgotten. The more I reread and understand. The more I see behind the words that are written on these pages. The more I realize blood magic was used to make us forget. To make us forget everything. The only thing I haven't figured out yet is how. Magic was the driving force behind the creation of the Orders. It wasn't limited to any part of them. Sage, Rowan, Oak, and the rest.

Magic helped establish the tools and the rules, the creation of the way the council of Orders works together. Skill with the elements could befall anyone, regardless of a history in the family. But a little over a hundred years ago it all changed – and nothing tells me why or how. And the only way I can delve deeper is to understand how magic works and the best way to wield it. There are elements in this book that are still beyond my reach. A few chapters at the end which speak of manipulation, usage, and boosting.

Succintly worded, with understanding that slips through my fingers every time. And so, I will increase my own abilities until I understand more. Recovery Acclimation is a simple concept. But to strengthen and build out my channels so I can handle more of a power load, I have to keep it on at all times. In the last couple of weeks, I've done my best to do so. But it's still difficult when I'm not consciously directing or thinking of it. The strength peters out and my connection vanishes before I've realized it.

Learn to use it without thinking. Yeah. Got that. Thanks book. Nothing anywhere tells me how. The subtle hum around me, evident that only I can hear it, is the trigger that I'm tapping into it. That sound alone makes me realize when I used it unconsciously in the past. The tune of the ground, of the world around me. Maybe that's it. Perhaps what I need to do is always be conscious of the sound. Not the feeling necessarily because sometimes the sensations just aren't there.

Especially when everything is normal around me, quiet. It's like my own little symphony playing in my head. This way it constantly allows me to be aware of the power around me, of the people around me, and of potential to grasp life no matter where I am. Sitting in the middle of my bed, I cross my legs and allow myself to relax into the sounds of nature that drift in to me from the outside. Peaceful birds chirping.

The distant sound of the water falling, hitting the rocks before continuing the journey through the city and out to the sea. There's a rustling of leaves from high overhead. And if I really stretch it, I think I can feel the energy from the sun as it hits those leaves. The sound of ants as they scurry through the dirt and brush that covers the top of the mountain we're encased inside. All of it filters through to me, into me, letting me sample what it is and know just what I could pull from should I need it.

This feeling of overwhelming cohesion. Of how life, without humans, functions. Circular. Giving. Taking. Harmony. I open my eyes, suddenly aware that hours have passed. But I have a realization I didn't before. Harmony with the world around me. With the plants, the trees, the soil, the water, the stone. All of it. That's what I need, and I've only just taken the first step. Xan is approaching. Still a minute or so away though. I can feel Lennick off a ways in his lab. Farin and Minx are in the cafeteria.

Aarron is in his office, oddly not hidden from me today. I chalk the latter up to an anomaly I still need to figure out. Lennick mentioned that he just closed the door. A magical seal that prevents me from hearing what's going on inside is far-fetched. So how is it that sometimes, my connection with the stone around us all appears to be severed in relation to Aarron and his office? I need to figure out who or what causes that.

There are approximately twenty other people in the Enclave today, ten of them keepers of the Enclave—from our cooks to our housekeepers. Velina too. Which reminds me. I jump off my bed and open the door just as Xan arrives. Stolen story; please report. They stare at me for a moment before grinning.

"Did you even sleep?" I blink, considering. Realizing with a jolt that I was in fact awake, or perhaps in a trance is a better description, I just shake my head. Xan laughs.

"Been practicing then, I see?"

"Maybe." I feel more playful than I have…in my entire life. Perhaps that's a result of these new sensations leaking through to me. A whole new perspective. Xan is still grinning at me.

"Velina for uniforms that fit. Food for stomach. Then I have a plan I'd like you to help with." Because I do have the beginnings of a plan in my mind. Something I can do to improve, but it'll help if there's someone else with me. Another sense I can add into my arsenal. It's high time I started figuring out how to use this offensively without killing myself. Xan simply nods and follows me. Velina is rifling through an abundance of cloth as we knock on her open door.

"Come in, come in," she mutters, not looking up at us. Suddenly, she holds up a pin with a huge smile on her face.

"I knew it was still in there." Then she turns her attention to us and the smile stays in place.

"Two of my favorites, what can I…" her eyes narrow and she scowls.

"What have you done to yourself Taria?" I cringe a little at that. She takes such pride in her work, I feel bad for having thinned out unintentionally. Despite eating my weight in food, I can't seem to gain it back. My muscle mass, however, has increased.

"Changes in body composition. I'm sorry." She sighs theatrically.

"Sure. Sure. You just like to make my job harder. Anyway. Let's take those measurements. Get in the cubicle and strip. You'll be needing the whole shebang right? Undergarments, bindings, full suits, right?" I can practically hear the gold coins flipping through her mind at the thought of how much this is going to cost me.

"Yep. Full suits." Stupid magic is going to cost me a chunk of my savings. The first set of gear is provided by the order itself. And every five years. This one is going to come out of my own funds.

"You still need your special pouches built in, right?" Velina is diving through several folders with notes until she triumphantly pulls out one with my name on it.

"Yours is my current favorite set up. So many unique little pouches. I've made several people include them since you came along. Change body composition all you want." Her eyes are practically gleaming. This is her own brand of magic. Measurements done, I head back out to where she's making notes while Xan looks around at some of her more out there creations.

"Be about two weeks—maybe ten days at best, Taria. Sorry. Have a bunch of orders and a new batch of initiates before yours."

"Thanks, Velina," I say as I drag Xan away from a new sheath that they really don't need.

"Two weeks is tough, right?" Xan says as we make our way to food. I nod.

"Should have gone in earlier, but wasn't sure I could risk it." There's a part of me that wonders if I should have told everyone immediately, but another part of me, the cautious part, that thinks I need to be stronger first. To at least know what I'm doing a bit better. We're silent, even as we line up for lunch. It seems everyone eats at this time. That's why I prefer to get there as early as possible, but today I got carried away while meditating through my ability.

Roast beef today, with a plethora of vegetables. My stomach rumbles.

"You're always hungry these days," Keliar says from behind Xan.

"I swear I can set my snack time by the way your stomach grumbles through the keep." It's a joke at heart, and I laugh. But I also worry that perhaps people are noticing too many changes about me. My body, my eating habits, and my penchant for overthinking. The way my potions and other concoctions have increased even more in their potency. That might be only a Lennick thing though. It's all there if someone were to just add them all together. And someone like Keliar is fully capable of that.

"Well, I am human. That whole hunger thing is a natural occurrence." Keliar chuckles.

"You never change, do you, Taria." It's a good-natured ribbing, but at the same time, if only he knew. Xan has been silent for the entire exchange and I wonder at that. We finish up first and push forward to find a table on the far wall. I'm practically drooling by the time I take that first bite of meat. Xan pushes three slices of their own meat over to me without a word. Sure, they've left more than enough for themselves, but I raise an eyebrow in question anyway.

"You aren't piling your plate high enough for the increases in energy consumption. If you're not careful, you'll overdo it." There's mild concern in their tone, but it's tempered by complete and utter irritation.

"I'm getting there. It's just hard to remember." I say, trying not to pout. Xan raises an eyebrow this time.

"Hard to remember? I find that difficult to believe when your stomach lets half the Enclave know it's time for lunch."

"Spoil sport. I've got a lot of things to think about right now."

"And not eating is going to help how?" I shoot them a glare.

"I've already given into snacking you know."

"I do know. But I can't always be here to make sure you eat on time."

"Fine!" I'm exasperated now.

"I'll try to be better about it." And that's when Keliar decides it's time to sit with us.

"So," he says as he slathers butter on a breadroll and piles his roast beef high on top.

"What have you changed about your training regimen that you're so hungry now?"

"Not much, really." I say, not lying in the slightest.

"More focused. Getting the most out of my skills. Trying to reinforce my close combat styles." I'm quite proud of the way none of that was a lie. Keliar is silent for a moment as he takes a massive bite of his creation. I do the same to my food. It's amazing how good it tastes, especially since I didn't realize quite how hungry I am.

"You know I could help you more than, Xan, right? Close combat is my thing." Keliar's eyes are focused solely on me. There's something in them I can't quite interpret. It's not jealousy, but it's like he knows I'm not telling him something. He's pushing gently for now, wanting to know what I'm hiding. Even if I haven't said anything directly, it's obviously to anyone observing me that something has changed. I nod, slowly, chewing to buy myself time.

"Sure," I say finally.

"Just let me get a handle on these new techniques and I'd love to test myself." Keliar's gaze shines now, like he got me to admit something.

"Excellent. I have a contract coming up, but how about after that?"

"If I feel ready," I say cautiously, not wanting to overpromise. After all, Lennick only gave me a few weeks to get myself stronger before he'd insist on telling Aarron. Eventually everyone will know anyway.

"I'm sure you'll be ready." He grins and wolfs down the rest of his food. Xalin and I take it slower. It's odd how quiet Xan is being. They're usually the sort of person to join in on the banter, the teasing, usually the first to do it in fact. Today though, they're watching Keliar. Even until our yearmate leaves.

"Perhaps we gave too much away in the library." Xan says suddenly.

"With our requests and what we checked out. To be honest, it's probably a bit obvious to anyone paying attention at all." I shrug.

"I work with herbs and plants all the time. Researching it and how magic was used with them isn't something odd for myself at any rate."

"Perhaps," Xan says, finishing off their food and pushing themself to their feet.

"Where to now, boss?" I smile, but a part of me is worried. Maybe I am being too obvious. That could be how the book found its way to me in the first place. I'm not as clever or stealthy as I thought—at least not when it comes to living amongst other assassins who also do this for a living.

"I'm still waiting on contracts. So, I thought we'd go for a wander in the forest." It's the best option I can think of to utilize my gift where we won't be seen—at least not immediately.

"Lead the way," Xalin says as we drop our used plates in their spots on the way out. It's a bit colder when we step out of the Enclave than I'd thought it would be. A fresh breeze is coming in off the waterfalls, leaving a dusting of fine mist behind it. Wordlessly I break into a light jog, Xan in tow, loping toward my goal. When we reach the area, Xan lets out a laugh.

"Oh fantastic. The spot of my near death by Chimera. Is this funny for you?" There's an edge to their voice. Like a memory of pain dredged up from somewhere they'd prefer not to think about.

"It's got the best ground composition. Rock, underbrush, bush, trees and the occasional herb or plant. It lets me feel everything around me." And to be fair, I add in my head, it's a ways out from the Enclave and unlikely to be spotted or investigated.

"That's fair." Xalin seems nervous, and I know that's partially from the last time we were here.

"Don't worry," I mutter as I spread out my ability to sense surroundings. Don't want anyone surprising me while I work.

"If you get hurt again, I'm here to save you." Xalin's laugh this time is full throated.

"Fine. I'll hold you to that." But I barely hear what they say. The life around me is bleeding into me, humming so loudly I can barely keep tabs on where it ends and I begin. Rushing through me like the waterfall a few miles away rushes over the cliffs. This is the type of power I was looking for. Now can I use it? Or will it devour me?