Chương 65: Ch 36b - Apology

Through the open door she sees that Flavitt's overstuffed work room is empty. The bare shelves doubled the room's size by revealing large patches of wall and allowing her eye to run the full length of the floor.

"Two doors down," Crathsun prompts behind her as she slows to stare.

"Where's Flavitt gone?" she asks, continuing past the room.

"Wyndeer's moved him to one of the outbuildings. More room for him to work, less chance of you picking up things you're not supposed to," Crathsun replies.

"Oh," she mutters, feeling a pang of guilt.

"This one," Crathsun announces as she nears another open door. She had known that Wyndeer worked out of one of the small rooms off the corridor, but other than Flavitt's, the doors were usually closed. She'd never risked exploring them, especially after her injury with the slug extractor. Wyndeer indicates for her to take a seat and waves an appreciative hand at Crathsun who is already retreating from the doorway. Wyndeer's office is a windowless room cleared of unnecessary furniture and decoration.

Other than the stack of chairs that fill the near corner of the room, it holds a table - the same type as the one she sits at to use the shard - and three chairs. On the table in front of Wyndeer is a solitary black cube. No papers, no computers, no cup of coffee, not even a cup of water. He is absorbed in poking and swiping an unseen screen in front of him as she sits down.

With his attention on his task, he flashes her a brief look of annoyance when she shifts noisily in the chair, raising a finger at her to wait. She tucks her hands under her thighs, avoiding the temptation to fidget. When she had suggested to Crathsun that perhaps they could do some shard training he had looked pleased. Her sense of relief at making the right move to start repairing her actions in the early morning had been short lived when he told her she would have to speak with Wyndeer first.

She had expected Crathsun to stay, hoped he would stay, but clearly Wyndeer wanted to talk to her alone. Wyndeer draws a wide circle in the space between them, flicks the centre of it, then taps his cuff. Blinking, he clears his throat and turns his attention to her.

"Wyndeer, I-." He stops her with another finger raise.

"We're waiting for Draig."

"Draig? But why-." This time she is stopped by his glare. She chews her bottom lip, remembering his favoured way of communicating. I talk, you listen. In the agonising long minutes it takes for Draig to appear, her nerves fray into a tangle of threads. She gives in to the urge to squeeze her fingers repeatedly in her lap. Wyndeer sits like a stone guard dog, watching her. Draig arrives slightly out of breath, pulling at the front of his top, wiping a few small beads of sweat from the side of his face.

"Apologies Wyndeer, I was out running when Crathsun connected," he says, casually sitting down in the empty chair next to her, impervious to the tension in the room. The smell of sea air and sweat waft over her. Not in the mood to have her body betray her she rolls her neck in an exaggerated stretch and takes in a deep breath from the walled space on her other side. If he looks to her in greeting, she misses it by the time she turns back.

"Draig," Wyndeer acknowledges him, then announces, "Cara has decided she would like to resume training."

"Good," Draig says. He is looking at her, but Cara doesn't want to meet his eyes. She keeps her attention on Wyndeer, pretending she is interested to hear what he will say next.

"First, she is going to apologise for assaulting you," Wyndeer announces.

"I'm what?" she exclaims before clamping her mouth shut.

"You're going to apologise to Draig for assaulting him," Wyndeer says cooly.

"I didn't assault him," she objects. Her hand moves protectively to her chest.

"You hit him," Wyndeer says matter-of-factly.

"I didn't I-""You thumped him in the chest, Cara." Wyndeer's voice is getting lower, his eyes beginning to narrow.

"I-." She looks over at Draig's broad chest, as solid as if it were made of oak. Her voice falters, "I, maybe, pushed a hand at him."

"Do we need to go over the rules again Cara?" Wyndeer asks tersely.

"I doubt he even felt it," she says weakly, her eyes still on Draig's chest.

"Cara," Wyndeer snaps. She jolts in her chair.

"Fine," she flusters, "Draig, I apologise for hitting you in the chest." This time she forces herself to look at him to ensure Wyndeer does not make her say it again due to a lack of sincerity. Draig, at least, doesn't look like he is enjoying the exchange either.

"Thank you, Cara," Draig says plainly.

"Is there anything else you would like to say, Cara?" Wyndeer asks after they have sat in an uncomfortable silence. Her mind spins in panic, sifting through the myriad of things he might be expecting from her. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"I apologise to you all for losing my temper," she says, hoping that will cover it. She digs her thumbnail hard into her palm, letting thoughts of the pain flood her mind, pushing away her concern about what both men are thinking. Wyndeer looks displeased with her answer but evidently decides not to keep pushing her.

"Draig?" Wyndeer prompts.

"Nothing, thank you, Wyndeer," Draig says impassively.

"Then we'll move on to the shard," Wyndeer says with finality.

"Cara, do you have anything to share with me?" It is a question he asks her after every shard session and has done so from the start of her trials and training. Aside from avoiding revealing the healing energy, she has always been truthful with him. She contemplates telling him about it now. If there was ever an opportunity to admit she has withheld something, this is it, but she can't bring herself to formulate the words. If she admits the shard heals her, he will have to report it to Vheece.

Vheece will probably demand she be harmed so that he can have a demonstration. He might push it further as he wished to do with her psychokinesis. How severe an injury would he want to test it on? There is a chance, she thinks, that Wyndeer, like Draig, already suspects, and that this is a test. Draig may have shared his thoughts or written them in a report. No, she considers the possibility, if Wyndeer suspects he will push her for an answer, that is the way he works. It is too risky, she decides.

To be someone who can harm others and heal herself, that will make her appear far too threatening to them. There is another part of the shard use she can share with Wyndeer. Something that scares her and something she would welcome help with.

"Yes," she says quietly.

"Go on," Wyndeer prompts without emotion.

"It's not why I got angry in the first place, but it is one of the reasons I lost it with Draig." Draig shifts in his seat, twisting to follow her more closely.

"Explain, Cara," Wyndeer says. His finger taps impatiently on the table.

"So, Draig was already in my head, telling me off for trying to speak, and I was giving the weight the notion that it was in a slingshot."

"A slingshot?" Draig sounds impressed, "Was that to give it more power?"

"I, I don't know," she hesitates to consider the idea.

"Maybe. I think I did it more because I wanted to aim something at Vheece's head," she says without thinking.

"You aimed it at Vheece's head on purpose?" Wyndeer demands.

"His virtual head," she quickly tries to reassure him.

"His hologram head. I was fully aware it wasn't his real head so it wouldn't actually hurt him. I wouldn't have done it otherwise." He leans forward across the table, his fingers spread wide as they brace his stiffened torso.

"I've just put my team at risk to keep you here to train and you're aiming weapons at Vheece's head?"

"It's not a weapon. And it wasn't his real head." She hears the feeble defensiveness in her words as she speaks, realising too late that he will take umbrage with her arguing.

"Cara," Wyndeer slams his fist down on the table.

"Wyndeer, she said she knew it was his holo image." Draig tries to intervene, but she hears the uncertainty in his voice.

"Don't defend her Draig. Holo or not, she is practicing aiming at a Trisec's head."

"I think you're missing the point-" Cara tries to cut in.

"I can hear the point very clearly, Cara, you are proving the point that the shard is dangerous, and you are reckless."

"No," she jumps up in desperation, pressing her hand on the table as if to prevent him slamming it again.

"I haven't even got to the point yet."

"There's more?" Draig looks up at her in surprise.

"Yes, there's more. What I wanted to share was what happened after you told me to stop being childish." Wyndeer, his mood now soured, gives Draig a scathing look.

"You said you warned her to behave."

"I did, in similar words." Draig bristles, moving to a defensive tone, "I thought she was going to let it spin out of control in front of him, I didn't realise she was aiming a slingshot at him."

"So, what happened?" Wyndeer demands, now aggravated by them both.

"Get to the point, Cara." She hesitates, still standing, unsure if she should sit. Her head spins at how fast the conversation has spiralled out of control. Unsure which man to address, she picks the less threatening looking one.

"You told me off and I was so angry that-," she says to Draig, watching the distrust grow on his face.

"I was so angry that you were in my head that I briefly thought of throwing the weight at you." Her voice is shaking with the confession, but she pushes on.

"As soon as the thought popped into my head, I dropped the weight. I promise, not for one second did I want the thought to transfer to the shard. And that's why I lost it. Yes, I was angry at you, but really, I was angrier with myself for how close I came to- to-." Her voice fades, unable to finish the sentence. She sits down slowly in her seat. Draig's mouth opens as if he is going to say something to her but then he dips his face down out of view, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

Wyndeer sits motionless, his elbows on the table, his fingers intertwined and pressed hard against his mouth. Dark grey clouds of anger swirl in his eyes as he regards her.

"So, you're right Wyndeer," she says. Dread is sucking the blood from her fingers, she barely registers her nails digging deep into their cold, numb tips. She knows she should stop talking but is unable to keep quiet caught between their reactions.

"The shard is dangerous. But I'm not trying to hurt anyone with it. I don't want to hurt anyone with it. I'm being honest. I'm telling you this because I need help making sure I don't hurt anyone." She forces herself to stop talking. To wait for their response.

"No shards," Wyndeer mutters behind his hands.

"No shards," he snarls loudly, throwing his hands down, clanking his cuffs loudly on the metal table.

"Get her out of here. Take her to Crathsun, Draig. Tell Crathsun, no shards, no training."

"What-" Cara begins.

"Don't speak," Draig snaps, already on his feet, "Come." Taking hold of her upper arm, he pulls her out of the chair and moves her swiftly into the corridor.

"I was just trying to be honest like he wanted," she protests as they make their way towards the hall.

"Don't speak," Draig growls in a low voice.

"You've just admitted you pointed a weapon at Trisec ranks. If a Cadet did that it would be over." She stops sharply, pulling her arm out of his hand.

"But I'm not a Cadet, am I?" she yells. Her back is against the wall, his hand over her mouth before she can form her next thought. His hand on her chest is spread wide, his fingers pressing the width of her ribcage. He pushes his chest onto the back of his hand, sandwiching it between them so that she feels the full effect of his physical intimidation.

"For fuck's sake Cara, stop speaking," he growls. His face towers over hers, she can see the movement of every hair of the stubble around his lips. His fingers keep a firm pressure on her jaw ensuring not only that she can't speak but that she can't shake him loose. She tries to lift her arms, but his body pins them against her. He presses harder into her in response to her attempts to escape.

"For once, do as I fucking say," Draig hisses quietly so that there was no chance of being overheard.

"Since Wyndeer indicated his concerns about Vheece's methods, I have been working very hard to build a relationship with him to keep you here and away from the base. But you seem determined to fuck up at every single step and now I have another fucking mess to sort out. Stop talking. Stop reacting. Do what Wyndeer says, when he says it. I will work on him to let this slide, but you must stop getting in my way. Am I being clear or am I still too fucking cryptic for you, Cara?"

She tries to nod but there is no space for her head to move between the wall and his face.

"Clear," she squeaks into his hand.

"Good," he says, taking a step back, removing his hand to gesture angrily down the corridor.

"Move."