Chương 270: Book 4 Chapter 33: Memento Mori

After two hours of study, Vell finally packed up the book and prepared to take a break. It was nearly dinner time anyway. He checked his phone before he started cooking anything. It was getting late, and there had been no apocalypse yet, so he'd been carefully watching for any sign of trouble. Nothing yet. He went to his fridge and started mulling over the options.

"Skye, do you care if I finish off the leftover spaghetti?" Technically it'd be back in the fridge on the next loop, and Skye would be none the wiser, but Vell still liked to ask permission. Not only was it just polite, Skye sometimes gave him the stink eye if he ate food she'd wanted without asking. She had a very powerful stink eye, too. He preferred to avoid it if possible.

"Can you hold off on dinner for like five minutes, actually?"

"Why, you want to have a date night?"

"No." Vell crossed the dorm and poked his head into the bedroom, where Skye was lying on the bed. She tried to look innocent and failed.

"You're planning something," Vell said.

"Technically it's not me doing the planning, I am merely an accessory."

"What's the scheme and how worried should I be?"

"Don't worry about it."

"The absence of information is making me worry more," Vell said.

"I don't know all the details," Skye said.

"Kim just told me to make sure you stay in your room, and don't let anybody bug you."

"Ugh, what are they planning?" Vell said, as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"They said they were on their way, so you should find out soon." Vell took a seat and cracked open his textbook again. He wanted to squeeze in as much study as possible before his life went off the rails again. He only managed a few minutes before there was a thunderous knock at his door. That had to be Kim.

"Alright, what'd you-" The door opened, Vell stared out, and the severed head of a hydra stared right back.

"Hey Vell."

"Hi. Don't let that thing drip on my floor."

"Fine by me," Kim said. She tossed the head over her shoulder, and it landed with a wet thud somewhere down the hallway.

"I just brought it for emphasis."

"To emphasize what?"

"That we handled the apocalypse without you, Vell," Kim said.

"A hydra showed up, it ate some guys, and we dealt with it. And don't stress about the severed head, we also destroyed the body, so no regeneration."

"And did-""We totally vaporized the remains and cauterized the severed head," Hawke said.

"Totally neutralized, we are one-hundred percent sure."

"And if you're worried about us not asking for help, we had Hawke at a safe distance ready to call the whole time," Samson said. Hawke had especially enjoyed that part of the plan.

"If anything had gone wrong, we would've called you. But nothing went wrong."

"I did get bitten," Alex admitted, holding up a bandaged arm.

"But that's comparatively minor. We handled it, Vell."

"Okay, you handled it," Vell admitted.

"Now what?"

"We just wanted you to know we can do things without you sometimes," Hawke said.

"Help you relax a bit, be at ease when you graduate."

"I... thanks. I appreciate it," Vell said. He was slightly frustrated by the lack of communication, but the good intentions were there. It was also hard to be mad at a resounding success. Last time they had tried something like this it hadn't gone so well.

"We also brought your favorite pizza so you'd be less mad at us for lying," Samson said. He held up the pizza boxes.

"Very good tactic," Vell said.

"Come on then." The other loopers filed in, and Vell took first stab at the pizza. Since he didn't have to worry about calories this loop, he piled several slices onto his plate before he was done.

"So, you really handled the whole thing, just you guys?"

"Well, we did rely on the support network a bit," Hawke admitted.

"But you know, we didn't ask Luke, or Cane, or Freddy, or any of the other guys who're going to be graduating next year."

"We did borrow a missile from Cyrus, though."

"Why did Cyrus have a missile?"

"In case we needed one, apparently," Hawke said.

"That's concerning."

"He was right, though."

"It's still concerning," Vell said.

"We'll get it handled later," Kim said.

"This is not stressing time, this is pizza time. This whole thing was about letting Vell relax for a minute."

"It'll take more than this to get me to relax," Vell said.

"I still got tests to think about."

"Vell, you're sitting pretty at ninety percent or above in every class, and you already have a job lined up," Skye said.

"Why do you stress so much about tests?"

"Because I want to be as good as I can be," Vell said.

"I don't just want to get through school, I want to solve Quenay's game, I want to do a good job at Harlan Industries, I want to- there's a lot of stuff I want to do."

"I get it, Vell," Kim said.

"But constant stress isn't good for that. Just take a load off and relax, for at least a few minutes."

"I know, I know," Vell said.

"And thanks again for doing this. Maybe I can take a few more days off in the future."

"Maybe on slightly less bitey apocalypses," Alex said. Her wounded arm made it hard to enjoy the pizza.

"We'll see what happens." Quietly, Vell thought to himself that "what happens" was "usually nothing good". He was about to be proven right. There was another knock on Vell's door, this time almost imperceptibly quiet. He took one more bite of pizza before answering and found Dean Lichman, arms folded behind his back, with a somber look on his face.

"I'm sorry to intrude, is now a good time?"

"Yeah, fine," Vell said.

"What's up?"

"Information should be getting sent out soon, but I... wanted to inform as many students as possible personally," Dean Lichman said. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid Professor Nguyen has passed away." Vell had been stunned a lot of different ways over the past four years, both literally and figuratively, but that sentence hit him harder than any before. It took him a few seconds to muster even half a thought.

"What?"

"No, wait, that can't- We handled the hydra, that was nowhere near her," Kim said.

"She can't have-""I'm afraid it was unrelated," Dean Lichman said.

"Natural causes. Something do with her heart, I believe." Vell's eyes fell to the floor. Dean Lichman put a hand on his shoulder for a moment.

"I'm truly sorry. I'll be doing everything I can to make sure you and all her other students get the support you need," he said.

"But if you'll excuse me, I have to deliver the news to others."

"Yeah. Yeah. Okay." Dean Lichman gave a solemn nod, and stepped away to inform other students. Vell slid the door shut, still staring blankly at the floor. Skye walked up, grabbed him by the cheek to lift his head, and then gave him a hug. He didn't even register the physical interaction. He looked right over her shoulder at his friends. At the other loopers.

"Oh god," Hawke mumbled, as realization struck.

"Oh no." Alex's jaw dropped in horror as she followed the same thread. Rule two of looping: Unless the loopers acted to change events, they would repeat exactly as they had before. Everything that had happened would happen again. Professor Carmella Nguyen set her paperwork out on her desk to start the day. Her first class would be starting soon.

"Morning Professor!" As he walked into the classroom, Vell realized for the first time just how small Professor Nugyen actually looked. Given her indomitable attitude, Vell had always perceived her as some titanic figure, invincible and immortal. The harsh reminder of her mortality made Vell see her as she actually was; an elderly, frail woman, leaning on a cane with a shaking hand.

In spite of the change in how Vell perceived her, Nguyen's attitude had not changed at all, and she did not even look up from her paperwork as Vell approached her desk.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel like your class does not start for several hours, Mr. Harlan," Professor Nguyen said. Vell attended her last class of the day, in the late afternoon.

"Can I help you?"

"I was actually going to see if I could help you," Vell said.

"See if you need anything, if you've got some extra work that needs doing, see how you're feeling…"

"I have everything well taken care of, Mr. Harlan," Nguyen said.

"Your offer is appreciated but unnecessary. I will see you in class."

"Sure, sure," Vell said.

"See you then." He made it about fifteen steps away before Nguyen called out for him again.

"Mr. Harlan?"

"Yeah, you need something?"

"I need you to remove whatever you have apparently forgotten on my desk," Professor Nguyen said. She deigned to glance up and examine the container.

"Aspirin?"

"Oh yeah, I just had those for... Alex. She's a headache sometimes," Vell said.

"Good for headaches. And heart health, so they say. Helps reduce clotting."

"I am aware of the health benefits of aspirin. Please retrieve it."

"Tell you what, why don't I just leave it there, and I'll grab it when I come back to class this afternoon, yeah?" Professor Nguyen finally looked up from her paperwork and leveled a full glare in Vell's direction.

"My desk is not your storage shelf, Mr. Harlan," she said.

"Retrieve your belongings and leave." A few seconds later, Vell was outside the door, bottle of aspirin in hand. Kim caught him heading the other way.

"Vell. Weren't you supposed to leave that with her?"

"She told me not to," Vell said.

"That stare of hers is like the fucking Bene Gesserit Voice, I can't not obey."

"Damn it," Kim said. She'd kind of hoped they could get through it without the stare.

"I should've left faster," Vell said.

"My bad."

"We'll get more chances. The other guys just finished scaring off the hydra, so our schedule's clear," Kim said.

"Now what?"

"How'd your chat with the Dean go?"

"There's not really any way to call a medical check without an actual medical emergency," Kim said.

"And by the time that happens…"

"Maybe if we have them on high alert they can intervene in time," Vell said.

"Maybe... ugh, why couldn't it have been the hydra?" External threats were easy to deal with, but a medical problem was much, much harder. They'd never even found out the exact cause before time had looped back on itself.

"I'm going to go check the medical department," Vell said.

"Maybe someone's building an anti-heart attack ray gun or something."

"We don't even know if that's what happened," Kim said.

"It's better than nothing!" Vell threw the bottle of aspirin back in his bag and stormed off. Kim waited a few steps and then chased after him. She caught up quick and grabbed him by the arm.

"Hey, Vell, one second."

"What?"

"You know I've got your back every step of the way, and if there's any reasonable way to help Professor Nguyen, I'll do it," Kim said.

"But if we can't-""We can," Vell insisted.

"You killed a hydra! We've time-traveled, rewritten reality, jumped across the multiverse! We can handle this."

"Vell. Professor Nguyen is seventy-two," Kim said.

"And she's not really in the best shape. There might not be anything we can do."

"There's always something," Vell said.

"I'm not giving up on this." If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"I'm not giving up either," Kim said.

"I just think you need to be ready if-""I'm not taking lectures on mortality from the immortal robot," Vell snapped. He pulled his arm out of Kim's grip. She could've easily latched on tighter, but chose to let him go.

"I'm going to get to work." He stormed away, and Kim let him go. He clearly wasn't taking this well, and she could not blame him. Kim tapped a metal hand against an ironclad hip.

"Stupid fragile meat bodies," she mumbled to herself. An entire team of medical students walked into Professor Nguyen's office, and walked out thirty seconds later. Vell intercepted them on the way out.

"Well?"

"She said no," someone squeaked.

"Very firmly." The students had clearly suffered the full weight of the Professor Nguyen stare. Apparently she was not on board with a "random" medical checkup for the benefit of the students. Under normal circumstances, Vell would have sympathized with their post-stare shell-shock, but these were not normal circumstances.

"Could you try asking again?" One of the students started crying at the mere idea of risking that stare again. A more coherent senior provided a more thorough answer.

"Vell, not only is this whole thing kind of weird to begin with," they said.

"But we can't do even the most minimally invasive procedure without explicit consent, which Professor Nguyen doesn't seem to want to give."

"Can't your persuade her? You're a doctor, where's your bedside manner?"

"I don't know, there's no classes for bedside manner."

"Well here's a lesson: try to be more useful," Vell said.

"Get out of here." The medical students marched away. Vell briefly considered marching into Nguyen's office to try again himself, but she would already be in a bad mood given the last intrusion. He left, to pursue other angles, and grabbed his phone.

"Cane, hey, got anything for me?"

"I regret to inform you that it's impossible to 'manipulate someone's brain in a way that stops them from having a heart attack'," Cane said. The nervous system's control over the heart was not that direct.

"Why are you even asking? What's going on?"

"Don't worry about it," Vell said. He hung up immediately and headed towards Freddy's lab. In the center of it all, Freddy, Alex, Goldie and Joan were poring over some schematics.

"Please tell me you have something," Vell said.

"A shrink ray is technically feasible, but not on the scale you're asking for," Goldie said.

"With the kind of equipment you're asking for, the sub would still be too big to fit inside the veins."

"No Fantastic Voyage today," Freddy said. Alex looked to Vell and shook her head. Shrinking down to heal Professor Nguyen from the inside was completely off the table.

"Ugh, all this science and we can't solve basic problems," Vell said.

"It's intriguing on a theoretical level," Freddy said.

"Yeah, if Harlan Industries wants to commit to some research, we could do some work over the next few years," Goldie said.

"I don't need it in a few years," Vell snapped.

"I need it now!" Goldie took a step back. Vell raising his voice like that was almost unheard of.

"Is there something going on I should know about?" Goldie asked.

"Vell, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I- don't worry about it," Vell said.

"Vell, I don't want to pry, but you've been asking a lot of people about this kind of thing," Freddy said. It was hard for Vell's friends not to notice he'd been pestering all of them about the same subject.

"Is everything alright?"

"I said don't worry about it," Vell said. He turned his back on the group and walked out.

"It's complicated," Alex said, to try and cover his ass.

"I think I might get it," Joan said.

"Give me a second." She hurried after Vell, and was surprised to find him already halfway across the quad. He was clearly in a hurry, and Joan struggled to catch up.

"Vell! Wait up!"

"Kind of in a hurry, Joan," Vell said.

"Well then slow down," Joan said. She managed to catch up, and put herself in front of Vell.

"I know some less-invasive ways to help heal a heart." After years of tending to Helena, Joan had learned a lot of ways to fix a (literal) broken heart. She was less experienced with the figurative kind of heartbreak, which was what Vell seemed to be dealing with right now.

"Maybe, but she'd need to-""She."

"Forget it, just tell me what you know and get back to work."

"Vell, is this about Helena?"

"No, it's not," Vell said. Joan breathed a sigh of relief.

"Then if I had to guess, it's something to do with that 'sort of know the future' thing you and Lee have going that you can't tell me about?"

"That's... yes," Vell said. He usually tried to ignore Joan when it came to time loop bullshit. It was hard to toe that line without risking breaking her brain. Again.

"Can you tell me the details, or is that over the line of the things I can't know about?"

"I guess I could... look, don't tell anybody this, alright?" Joan extended her pinky. Vell thought it was disturbingly juvenile to be doing a pinky promise right now, but he accepted the sentiment. He stepped closer and lowered his voice.

"At some point later today, Professor Nguyen is going to die." It took a few seconds for the real impact to hit. Joan put a hand over her mouth in shock.

"How is she…?"

"Something to do with her heart, I don't know the details," Vell said.

"So all of this is to try and save her?"

"No, I just find it interesting," Vell said.

"Of course it is!" Joan might've been offended, but she knew from experience that Vell got sarcastic when he was upset. She brushed past his attitude and focused on the real problem.

"I really do know a lot about this kind of stuff, Vell," Joan said.

"Maybe if we just ask her, I could help."

"That would require her saying yes," Vell said.

"I tried something like that already."

"Did you tell her she was going to die?"

"Not in so many words, no," Vell said.

"That's kind of a hard subject to bring up when you can't actually explain how you know."

"Well then don't," Joan said.

"Just bring it up. Professor Nguyen trusts you."

"She doesn't buy into bullshit and she has barely any patience, how am I supposed to-""Vell!" Joan grabbed Vell by the shoulders and gave him a little shake to get his head on straight.

"You said you needed to assert yourself, so assert yourself," Joan said.

"If she doesn't listen, that's her problem. If you don't tell her, that's yours." She released her death grip on his shoulders and let Vell take a breath.

"Yeah. You're right," Vell admitted. He checked the time.

"Her class starts soon, I should be able to talk to her afterwards."

"You'll make it work, Vell," Joan said.

"You always do." Joan shoved him in the direction of the rune lab and sent him on his way, and managed to keep the confident smile on her face until he was out of sight. Then it vanished in an instant. She had complete faith in Vell, that much was true. It was Professor Nguyen she wasn't sure about.

"Spectrographic overlay is only rarely applied when trying to identify commonality points between two runes, but-" Professor Nguyen stopped mid-lecture to clear her throat and put a hand on her chest. Vell clenched his hand on his desk so tight the wood nearly cracked. On the past loop, he'd thought nothing of it -just a completely mundane cough, like thousands of others. Now he wondered if it wasn't the first sign of what was to come.

Professor Nguyen wrapped up the lecture and returned to her office while her students packed up. Vell feigned writing down notes and packing up his things until he was the last person in the classroom, then took a deep breath. After a moment to steady himself, he headed for the door to Nguyen's office. He was not so bold as to enter her private sanctum without knocking, even under the circumstances.

"Come in." Vell stepped in the second he had permission. Professor Nguyen was looking over paperwork, as she had done a thousand times before, and might never do again.

"Professor Nguyen, I need to talk to you."

"And I need to talk to you," Professor Nguyen said. She hit him with a glare that caught Vell off guard.

"Have a seat. I have a question for you." Though he took a seat at her order, Vell did muster the strength of will to speak out of turn.

"Professor, it's really important-""Quiet, please," Nguyen said.

"My question is also important. One moment." Nguyen finished grading the paper she was looking at, and then put her pen down. She looked up and focused her attention entirely on Vell.

"Mr. Harlan," she said.

"How am I going to die?" After setting a record for getting stunned last loop, Vell found himself setting a new one. He formed the same half-thought once again.

"What?"

"Please don't waste my presumably limited time by feigning ignorance," Professor Nguyen said.

"In my tenure at this school as both a student and a teacher, I have observed a small cadre of students aggressively intervening in almost every potentially deadly situation, and that group now apparently consists of you and your friends. Given your obsequious interest in my well-being, I can only assume I am next. Am I correct?"

"You... yes, you're right."

"I thought so. Then I will repeat myself: How am I going to die?"

"Your heart," Vell mumbled.

"I don't know the exact details. A heart attack, most likely."

"Hmm. Relatively quick and with only moderate discomfort," Professor Nguyen said.

"Thank you. Now, I would like to finish grading these tests." Professor Nguyen picked up her pen and got right back to grading essays. Vell did a quick double take between her and the paper she was grading.

"That's it?"

"I have taken great care to establish this curriculum, Mr. Harlan, I intend to see it maintained to the best of my ability," Professor Nguyen said, without looking up.

"You're going to die and your biggest concern is grading papers?"

"No, my greatest concern is the nature of the afterlife," Professor Nguyen said.

"But that question will be resolving itself shortly. The papers rank a close second." It would've sounded like a joke coming from anyone but Professor Nguyen. Vell still couldn't quite believe it.

"Professor Nguyen, I have friends who can help you," Vell said.

"We can get you treated and-""I am well aware of the faculties of medical science," Nguyen said.

"I am also well aware that I am an old woman with failing health. I have no desire to cling to every scrap of life until I am a decrepit husk hooked to machines like our Board of Directors." She continued scratching away at her grading, holding a pen in a hand that shook despite her efforts to steady it. Over the past few years Professor Nguyen had watched that shake grow from a minor twitch into an unstable tremor.

She had no desire to watch her own degradation continue until the day she could no longer hold a pen at all.

"Then- then why are you in the office, doing paperwork?"

"As opposed to what? I am well beyond retirement age, Mr. Harlan," Nguyen said.

"If I had any desire to sit on a beach and sip alcoholic beverages, I could have been doing so years ago." A paper flipped, and Nguyen went right to grading the next essay.

"I am here, doing what I do, because education is what I have chosen to dedicate my life to," Nguyen continued.

"And I will continue to do so until I no longer have a life to dedicate." She continued on, grading another paper without even looking up. Vell watched her pen move in a shaking hand for a few seconds. He took a breath and wiped away a tear that had dared to form in his eye.

"Are you sure?"

"I have never been one for uncertainty," Professor Nguyen said.

"But being close to death has a way of erasing even small doubts. Yes. I am sure." Vell leaned forward and put his head in his hands, just to hide his red face. He sat upright after a few deep breaths.

"Okay. Okay. I don't agree. But okay."

"I am glad you understand," Professor Nguyen said.

"Now, there is one other thing I would like to discuss."

"What?"

"There is a box near the door," Professor Nguyen said. Vell looked and saw a small, unremarkable cardboard box sitting just by the side of the frame, and also noticed for the first time that several books and documents were missing from Nguyen's office.

"Finals are fast approaching, and since I will unfortunately not be able to see the remainder of this school year through, I will need someone else to ensure that my students are properly prepared for testing. Dean Lichman will likely appoint a substitute shortly, but should there be any interval-" Professor Nguyen set down her pen and raised her head to look Vell in the eye.

"-I would like you to oversee teaching my class."

"I couldn't... are you sure?" Vell asked.

"I don't know that I'd make a very good teacher."

"You wouldn't. You'd be terrible, in fact," Nguyen said bluntly.

"You lack the temperament to fail those who deserve failure. But you are very intelligent, and one of few people on Earth I believe understands the subject matter well enough to properly educate to the standards I hold." That was an actual compliment, the first one Vell had ever heard from Professor Nguyen.

"I am also aware that you have a busy schedule already," Professor Nguyen continued.

"It would be entirely sensible for you turn this offer down."

"No. No, it's okay, I'll do it," Vell said. Professor Nguyen nodded approvingly, then tilted her head towards the door.

"Thank you. Everything you will need is in that box." Vell stood and picked up the box. From the weight, he could tell it was mostly full of paper, and one other small object Vell couldn't figure out. He held the box in his hands for a second and turned back to Professor Nguyen.

"I am sorry I can't review the curriculum with you myself," Professor Nguyen said.

"But my time is limited, and I would like to finish grading these essays."

"I get it," Vell said. He held tight to the box and looked in the direction of the door for a second.

"Goodbye, Professor."

"Goodbye, Vell." After one last look at the dark, crowded office, Vell forced himself to open the door and step out of the room. The door slammed shut behind him, and as it passed, a black cloak materialized in the empty space. The handle of a scythe made a soft tap as it hit the ground.

"Ah," Professor Nguyen said.

"I had not expected you to be the type to hide." Mr. Harlan and I are acquainted, Death said. His awareness of my presence would have complicated matters.

"He does tend to complicate things," Professor Nguyen said. She flipped over another essay and got to grading the next one.

"I'll be along as soon as I've finished with the papers." I'm afraid that is not how this works, Professor Carmella Nguyen. Professor Nguyen lifted her head and glared. The eyes of Death glared back, lidless, icy blue, and as deep and infinite as the depths of the cosmos themselves. Death blinked. Right. As soon as you've finished with the papers. Vell sat on his bed and stared at the wall. Skye was leaning on his shoulder, without a word, until someone knocked at his door.

It was, as expected, Dean Lichman, wearing the exact same somber look as last loop. Nothing had changed. Nothing had been changed.

"I'm sorry to intrude, is now a good time?"

"I, uh... I know. I already know."

"Oh. I suppose you would," Dean Lichman said quietly. Vell did tend to be at the forefront of every campus occurrence, for better or for worse. Much worse, in this case.

"I am sorry." Vell nodded without a word.

"Professor Nguyen did seem to be as prepared as one can be," Dean Lichman said, with a solemn nod.

"Among other things, she left instructions that you might take the role of an assistant teacher after- in her absence."

"Yeah. I'm going to."

"I see. We can discuss the details later," Dean Lichman said.

"I have to see to the other students. But please, do let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Bye." Dean Lichman excused himself, and Vell returned to his bedroom. Skye was waiting for him -as was an unopened box. He grabbed the box, sat down on the bed, and removed the lid. Inside, he found exactly what he had expected; lessons plans, syllabi, a few academic papers -and one unexpected addition. Sitting atop all the documents was a single clay elephant, crudely formed and even more crudely painted with haphazard splotches of color.

It was the kind of thing a child would make, and an utterly baffling desk ornament for a women who had no children of her own, and had never taught anyone other than adults. It had sat on Professor Nguyen's desk for years, confounding Vell on every visit to her office -until the last one. He'd been so caught up in everything else, he'd never noticed its absence. Vell picked up the elephant and held it in one hand for a moment.

"I never asked her where this came from." And now, he would never get the chance.