Chương 112: 109: Everyone Hates Plastic

I admit, I was cranky. When I stepped into the shimmer, my interface let me know that five instances of the rift were already open, each with a single person inside. Four were unknowns, and one was a Level 1 fire mage named Tessa. I wanted to scream. I didn't, but only because it would have worried my dog. Missy and another unknown appeared on the list in my HUD, so I chose to open a new instance and selected everyone with me. A second later, all four of us and Zelda appeared on the ground floor of a shopping mall.

"Oh, this ought to be fun," I said. I hated shopping malls. This one looked abandoned, but not closed, as if instead of going through a long, slow decline, some natural disaster had struck. Stores were shuttered, lights were off, and the plants in the central atrium were dead.

"What is this place?" Mr. Upright was gazing around in wonder. Missy ignored the environment and stepped over to Mr. Bruised and Bloody.

"Okay if I heal you?" He stared at her, then said, "Yes?" It sounded more like a question than agreement, but Missy cast her heal spell on him. The results weren't immediately noticeable, but he exhaled in relief, touching his face with wondering hands.

"It's a slow heal," Missy said, sounding apologetic.

"Rejuvenation. Ten minutes or so and you'll feel a lot better."

"I feel better already," he said, through lips that were still swollen.

"So those assholes were throwing people into the rift," I said to Mr. Upright, confirming what I already knew.

"Do you know the others?"

"Where are they? They should be in here, unless…are they already dead?" Upright was still looking around as if he'd never seen a mall before.

"Rifts are instanced," I said, keeping it brief, and also fully aware that a week ago I would have had no idea what that meant.

"I'll go get them as long as they're not in here because of some deep longing to become part of that group of jerks." Bruised, whose bruises were starting to fade, said, "No, none of us were. Those guys are preppers. We're running low on food and we were hoping they'd be willing to sell us some. Or trade for something. We should've known better."

"Hmm. We should check the food court before we leave," I said.

"First things first, though. Let me go get your friends. Missy, can you keep these two safe? Maybe help them get their first level if you can figure out where the monsters are?" We were standing at the center of the mall, more or less, near a directory sign and a dead escalator leading up. The surrounding shops were typical for the age of malls: plenty of clothing, shoes, and cosmetics, an electronics store, a jewelry shop, a gift store. The usual stuff.

The anchor stores on either end looked like typical department stores, too, although the overhead signs all had the same 'not quite right' effect as the food in my Dollar General. At one end, Noodsums; at the other, Lacy's. But a rift mall was bound to have interesting loot.

"Maybe look for sporting goods," I suggested.

"Baseball bats might come in handy."

"Where are you going?" Missy asked.

"I'm going to switch instances, find the other people, and bring them back here. Once these folks have a team and a few levels, I'm sure they'll be able to take care of themselves." Was I being optimistic? Yes, all around. Given that a week into the apocalypse, they still hadn't joined the System, I was probably aiming more for "won't die today" than "take care of themselves." Would I ever get over this pathological inability to let people drown? If someday it turned out that I missed saving Jules by five minutes…

but these guys probably had best friends, too.

"Be right back," I said, not waiting for responses, but adding the come-along whistle for Zelda. She and I stepped into the gate, and I chose the first instance. The unknown was sitting on the edge of the planter wall, huddled in on himself, and staring at the shimmer. He saw me the second I stepped into view, Zelda a second later, and his eyes widened.

"Hey." I waved, not wanting to freak him out by moving closer.

"You ready to get out of here?" He stood, but didn't move otherwise. Eyeing me skeptically, he said, "Are you a Sovereign Patriot or whatever—" I didn't let him finish.

"Dude, really?" I tugged at the zipper of the Wayfarer's Jacket. It was currently a lovely shade of pink, keeping me warm, but not too warm, in the lightly cool North Carolina autumn.

"Do I look like a prepper?"

"I don't really know what they look like," he admitted, relaxing.

"But I don't think they've got cute dogs, that's for sure." He knelt and held out a hand for Zelda to sniff. She checked him out, tail wagging, but didn't lick him. I didn't know whether that was because she didn't think he needed [Emotional Support for the Win] or whether it was just the good manners she'd been taught for the past sixteen years.

"Are they still out there?" he asked as he stood.

"I've just been hanging out, hoping they'd get bored."

"They might be." I looked over my shoulder. I could see trees and bare ground through the gate, but no people. But I couldn't see the road or the pickups either, so maybe it was just the wrong angle.

"We're not going there yet, though. We've got some other people to find first." The second and third instances were much the same. The people hadn't wandered far, and the monsters in the mall were obviously not super aggressive, because neither of them had been attacked. Zelda approved of both of them, but didn't offer kisses. The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

By the time we made it to the fourth instance, the guy inside—Leon—had become a Rogue: Level 1, which meant he'd found the monsters. I was ready to warn the others, but I didn't need to, because the 'monsters' were right there. They were ridiculous and creepy in equal measure. Ten or so mannequins had come alive, but they moved like shambling zombies. Leon was hovering at the top of the escalator, watching them stumble over themselves as they tried to climb the stairs.

"You guys need weapons," I said, tapping [Analyze]. The mannequins were Level 1, perfect targets for newbie monster slayers, if only they had something to slay them with. I should really get a stash of useful deadly tools and carry them around with me to give away as needed. Some good spears would probably be even more useful than healing potions.

"If you take anything out of a store, an alarm goes off and these guys start moving. Don't let them corner you. I know they don't look like much, but they hit hard," Leon shouted down at us.

"And the sporting goods store is trapped. Watch out for darts." Zelda gave a little whimper by my side. Chew toys. Big chew toys! Fun, fun, fun. I play, yes? Time to play? I laughed.

"Yeah, go for it, Z. Do your worst. Those chew toys need to die." I tapped my pouch and Warden's Edge appeared in my hand with a thought. I didn't think Z would have any trouble tearing the mannequins apart, but the big dogs weren't here to help, so I'd be ready. The three people who hadn't gotten their levels yet were not nearly as relaxed as Zelda and me. I put a hand out to stop one of them from running out the gate.

"Those so-called patriots might be out there, and they're bigger bad news than these guys," I said, not taking my eyes off Zelda. She'd dropped into a stalk and was stealing her way forward, which was totally unnecessary. The mannequins hadn't turned around from their attempts to clamber up the escalator. Maybe they couldn't hear? And then she gave a woof of pure delight, did her size thing, and leaped on the nearest mannequin, knocking it to the ground.

She grabbed its neck and shook it, her favorite move, but the mannequin's head flew off, rolling across the floor toward the nearest clothing store. I could see Zelda's disgust in the way she dropped the body. Bad toy, no fun. But then she just jumped on the next one. Over the next ninety seconds, Zelda ripped the mannequins to pieces, one by one. I'm not sure any of them even got a hit in. She was the classic whirling dervish of destruction.

If they'd had cotton stuffing, it would have been strewn across the mall like snow. Instead, broken plastic limbs bounced and skidded across the tile, as Zelda discovered that every single one of her new toys was defective. When all the mannequins were in pieces, I applauded her.

"Good job, you good girl!" And then I called up to Leon, "You ready to go?" He limped down the escalator, moving slowly and eyeing Zelda with a mix of wariness and respect. She was looting her kills now, tapping each with her nose and causing the bodies to disappear in a puff of mana. It didn't look like particularly interesting loot so far, but I trusted that she'd bring me anything she wanted to keep.

"I'm not sure we should leave," Leon said. He waved in the direction of the Lacy's.

"The sporting goods place is trapped, but if we can make it past the traps, it looks like good stuff in there. Some bows and crossbows in the back, hunting knives, trekking poles."

"Baseball bats?" I asked.

"Yeah, probably. There's a kitchen store, too. I didn't go in but I bet they've got knives." The three people who hadn't entered the System yet exchanged glances. We'd been moving fast, not chatting. I hadn't even bothered with introductions. But I had to admit, this rift had serious potential. Stuff, yeah. It could be the mall version of the Dollar General. But it was also a perfect spot for beginner leveling, because not even the world's gentlest vegan pacifist would object to smashing plastic monsters.

Everyone hates plastic.

"Let's go get Tessa," I said after a second of thought.

"She's the last person on her own in one of these instances. And then we'll go back to the instance with your other two friends, and when everyone's together, you can tackle the rift as a team. Sound good?"

"Sounds great," Leon said, just as Zelda came trotting up. She dropped a white box at his feet, then went back to the base of the escalator. Leon bent down and picked it up.

"A first aid kit. Not sure a band-aid is gonna help, but, well…" He chuckled, then called, "Thanks, dog," in her direction.

"It might be a magically enhanced band-aid," I said.

"Three times natural healing on the last one I found. How bad's the leg?" He rested a hand on his thigh.

"No blood, but I'd be headed to the ER for x-rays if we weren't trapped in the mall from hell."

"You'll heal completely once you get another level, so that's a good argument for exploring the rift a little more. But I do think we should find Tessa first." Yes, I know I was carrying around something like nineteen healing potions. But I didn't want to waste them on people who would heal naturally with five minutes of effort.

"Lead the way." He gestured toward the shimmer. I whistled for Zelda, who gave me a 'one more minute' tail wag, so before we left, I helped her gather up her loot. One soft toy with a squeaker inside, 'guaranteed indestructible,' which I didn't buy for a second; two chicken jerky strips; several pieces of soft plastic that [Analyze] told me were a crafting material; and a laminated card clipped to a lanyard that read M••L S•C••I••. I tapped the badge against my hand, studying the missing letters. Mall Security.

That's what those letters should spell. I hadn't noticed if one of the mannequins was higher level than the others, but the badge suggested Zelda might have completed one of the rift zones. Maybe the other zones had cards with the missing letters, and merging them would create a key to the core room? It was only a guess, and I didn't know whether a partial key would transfer from one instance to the next, but I dropped the lanyard over my head just in case. When everyone was ready, we stepped into the shimmer.

Tessa had gained another two levels while I'd been gathering up her friends, but it wasn't immediately obvious where she was. Unlike all the others, she hadn't stuck to the atrium area. But I had [Senses Beyond Sight] and I smelled… pizza.

"Oh, my god." I took a deep breath.

"What?" the first guy I'd found demanded.

"What is it?"

"You can't smell it?" I inhaled again and pointed down the concourse in the direction of fake Nordstrom's.

"Pizza. Real pizza. That way." My mouth was already watering. Pepperoni! Zelda danced, turning circles in her joy. Real circles. Tail-chasing circles. The circles she'd stopped making, oh, at least five years ago, when the arthritis in her hips started being a thing. For a second, the incredible dissonance struck me: dead people everywhere, but my dog was young again. How many levels did a dog need to become immortal? Whatever the number was, it was my new life goal.

Meanwhile, my temporary life goal was the pizza down the hall. I started walking, Zelda with me, and the others followed. Now that I was seeing them up close, I could see that some of the stores in the mall were just facsimiles. Where they should have had doors, they had panels with still images of shop interiors on them. At least half of the clothing stores were fake. A cosmetics store was real, though, and so was a gift shop, the kind with trinkets and stained glass, Christmas ornaments and potpourri.

I didn't have to go inside either of them to know that they were riddled with traps. The cosmetics would be poisonous; the Christmas ornaments explosive. I was tempted by the shoe store, though. I could use a new pair of hiking boots. Maybe after I found Jules, I'd bring her back here and we could go shoe shopping together. I wouldn't even argue when she tried to convince me that fun shoes were a wardrobe must-have, even for a woman who only left the house to hike with her dogs.

We rounded the corner into a side wing of the mall. I stopped walking so fast that the people behind me nearly stumbled into me. Holy shit. The fire mage had done some serious damage.