Chương 63: Ambition

The next day, when Liesel woke up, she felt very normal. Her mind was not screaming, and her reasoning flexed a bit more calmly, like she had taken off a sharp and scathy robe. The best part was the lack of another corridor, of course. She had not been dragged into one. She wished that it wouldn't happen again, that the Realm was impassive at this point, but she knew this generosity was but a knife to make the next session equally as bad. What kind of thing was the Realm truly?

It cared for a mortal being and seemed to act as if Arval was the only existence it cared for. It can't just be the Perfect Soul. There has to be more to it. The Perfect Soul was an extremely rare and unpredictable talent. It was, however, not one of a kind. There were others. A few in the High Senate. Did they also have a Primordial Core looking out for them? Liesel exhaled, shaking her head. She decided she would like to stay in the delusion that Arval was the only one for now.

Arval had been picking another berry-like fruit that tasted like burnt oil. Arval spat upon tasting it. The tree had transformed into something else between Liesel's blinks. Now, the fruits were delightfully sweet.

"How's your soul now?" Arval asked, pleased by the taste of the fruit.

"I have enough time to seek a solution in the world outside."

"Right," Arval nodded. Her golden-ringed irises peered at her.

"You are not dying. But you don't know how to stop Withering."

"Do you?"

"No. My soul heals on its own here." Arval shook her head.

"Elder Ahura might."

"I have my ideas."

"If I ask her, she might help you. You are a good person."

"That is unnecessary for now." Liesel shook her head.

"I have my own ways."

"But she understands souls like you don't understand Materiality. She might be able to fix everything about it."

"Even if you ask, and she offers it to me. I will not accept her help."

"Why? You accepted my help. You can't hold a grudge over your life. That's just dumb."

"Grudge?" Liesel said, pausing on the word, "I hold none, and certainly not against a thoughtless doll whose might manifests from the reverence of others."

"You didn't answer my question. I am asking why you can't accept her help, especially when you don't hold a grudge?"

"We all have a line that we shall not cross, even at the cost of our lives. Certainly not when we have other avenues. Your Elder stands far beyond that line. Though she may heal the wound of my soul, she'd taint it in a way I cannot live with. I'd rather be dead." That may not have been the case a few months ago, Liesel believed. When she was looking for a way to gain power, she may have accepted anyone's help. She was too tired, had spent too much time with her mind to accept anyone's help weightlessly.

The time she would spend with herself was a lifetime, aware of herself in ways she never had been, never needed or wanted to be. Now, a line had manifested itself between seeing the Custodian and this conversation. It was those long silent walks with her thoughts alone, or very significant portions of it, after being worn out by the Reaper, the Centipedes, and the Wastelands.

"If the Emperor of the Laks offered it to you, a way to heal your soul, would you accept his help? Is he within that line?"

"You are obsessed, Child, with an enemy you have not seen. When you have witnessed the Empire in its entirety, the whole of it, you will know the answer without having to ask me." Liesel stepped back from the tree.

"Let us not revisit this conversation."

"You still owe me a spar."

Arval's face was bloodied and black. She lay on her back, staring up at the sky. Liesel hadn't known how much the incision in her Soul Form was hindering her strength until now. The child was strong, merely far too inexperienced to make use of it with any effectiveness. Too bound by a moral way of battle—straightforward and quick. What if Arval had the same kind of training as Liesel? That was a scary thought.

The Empire would've created the perfect warrior to establish total dominion of all the realms, or the sharpest blade to slit its throat. Neither had come to pass, and the perfect warrior lay here on the grass, bleeding from her nose, by a borderline cripple who didn't have a single skill useful for battle.

"Do you know," Liesel paused, considering for a moment. She felt she might truly destroy Arval's pride, but would that be a bad thing? The Child was destined to die or be captured and used by the convenants, those searching for the perfect human form that could eventually replace the Emperor.

"I don't have a Condensed Core." Arval snapped right up. The golden ring inside her irises flared.

"You are lying!" Her voice laced with anger. Arval was at the Condensed Core. She could manifest the Materiality in her swipes, which was impossible for Liesel unless she was using the Shade Severing Strike.

"You can use Coating."

"You mean Layering?" Liesel said, "It is limited not by the Materiality Core, but by the Attributes Threshold. I can use it without needing to be at Condensed Core." Arval wiped the blood leaking from the corner of her eyebrow.

"No, you are lying. You have to be at least at the threshold of Establishing Dominion if you are not already there." Establishing Dominion was the next step on the path above the Condensed Core, where you gained as much dominion as possible by cultivating another layer of nebulous state of Materiality around the Materiality Core.

The greatest hurdle in crossing the Establishing Dominion was battling for dominion of the Primordial Veins, from the same sources that the Gods draw their divinity, though an ascendant sought an insignificant and imperceptible sliver of that power. Almost every Ascendant, no matter their race, would be imprisoned in stasis for decades, even centuries, and perish before ever truly establishing that domain. It was beyond Liesel's wildest imagination, even now.

She should know that she'd die somewhere along the way, and yet, deep down, a small glimmer considered it natural that she would get past it someday. It always had, before and after she learned of her crippling condition, remained steady, but never transformed into anything more than a flicker. Liesel didn't know which one was her actual belief, and which one was there to quell her inner pride.

"Believe what soothes your soul. This realm may twist it into your reality, but the Empire won't be drawn inside it. If you will face it, you have to see your weakness and know your place in the hierarchy." Arval shouted, for the first time, in her mother tongue. She lunged at Liesel again as the Realm healed her damage. For a while, Liesel tried to hold back, leaving Arval a little harmed. Arval's inexperience didn't extend to her tenacity.

She indeed wore down one Crusader General Prospect to the point where Liesel stopped holding back. Liesel's lethality came from her one deadly strike. Without a blade, she was never going to mutilate the child beyond recovery. Arval's body was strong enough to take a beating. After an hour, Arval was again on the ground, a breath away from passing out. Unable to speak, barely gasping for breath. This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Liesel's heart felt a slight pity at the child's condition, even though it was a very normal and fair experience for an Ascendant who desired combat. If anything, Liesel wouldn't consider breaking every bone in Arval's body too far, as that was the bare minimum level of pain she must endure to understand the unfathomable challenge she wished to undertake. Was it a moral thing to do? Liesel would think so. A child like Arval would not meet a hopeful fate of death. Never.

Liesel hoped the Caravan had taught the child the extent of an empire's depravity for power.

"One more time... I can win," Arval croaked. Her words were slurred and slow. Liesel sighed. She picked out fruits that the Realm seemed to have cultivated just for this moment, just at the edge of the stone garden. It had a hard shell and a bowl full of liquid inside, but it was nothing like a coconut. The red fluid almost seemed like blood. She peeled it and fed the red water to the child. In just a minute, Arval was sitting up again, able to munch on the fruit on her own.

"You are not strong. Why can't I knock you down?" Arval uttered, frowning to herself.

"Inexperience," Liesel said. Except for the damage to her hand from abusing Layering, Liesel was perfectly fine. She could use Layering fast enough to even defend against any sneak blow that Arval had the chance to land. Liesel peeled the second fruit and offered it to Arval.

"I can't eat it. Too much energy. It's yours."

"I doubt the Primordial Heart would be pleased if I stole your lunch."

"You say weird things. There are two. One for me, and one for you." She succumbed to Arval's insistence, if only to not make it an argument with a grieving child. It was the worst fruit in terms of the test. Too much like human blood. It healed her hand almost instantly; the sore spot on her body was gone. And the rest of the energy then wove itself into her body. A screen manifested in front of her when she finished it. [Layering +Lv. 1 Layering Lv. 9 --> Lv. 10] [Complete physical rejuvenation has significantly heightened your physical abilities! Constitution +1 Constitution 2-->3 Strength +3 Strength 14-->17 Endurance +3 Endurance 10-->13 Dexterity +2 Dexterity 8-->10] [Endurance threshold reached. Sustained Materiality endurance has increased slightly!] Liesel washed her hands as she observed the changes. She looked at her arm under the sleeve. It was healthier than it had been when she entered the Heart.

Crossing the threshold didn't seem to give her an active ability, but it was perhaps a better gift for her. It would mean she could sustain both Layering and use even stronger Enforcement without the fear of physical recoil. Is this a reward for playing with the child? Liesel didn't know what to feel about that. Earning priceless advancements for merely beating an inexperienced child seemed like a twisted job that some high Senators might hire you for.

"Can we continue?" Arval asked.

"No," Liesel said.

"Your body does not need tempering; neither does your yet unflinching spirit. Deliberate why you lose despite the chasm between our raw strength and talent."

"I will figure it out if you fight me."

"Past this point, I will knock you out in one strike, and you will wake up tomorrow morning," Liesel said.

"Is that a path to victory in your eyes?" Arval pursed her lips, but she nodded. Her garb was bloody and battered. Liesel's own clothes were harmed by the claws to a great extent.

"Meditate on your shortcomings." Liesel closed her eyes. She could hear Arval shuffle to the other bench.

"Somewhere far from me, if possible." Arval huffed in frustration, but left her in peace. Liesel didn't think it was bad to have a change of pace. She certainly felt a bit open to serving as a distraction from Arval's grief, because it gave her a few hours of diversion from her own mind. The reward from the Realm played a great role in her open-mindedness. She observed the stitching job, pleased with its fortitude. It was still a miracle, in her mind.

She didn't understand the breadth of her Soul Form to have done it as precisely as she had. She was not going to waste her time experimenting with her Soul Weaving Abilities. In her mind, they were for the Soul Threads from Unravelling. She could neither capture a soul here, nor did she have access to the books that could have given her the direction. She could spend her time learning to weave even more precise and quicker runes, which she would, or...

Though the Withering had stopped, her Soul Form was significantly smaller than before, not quite half the volume but almost at that point. There was very little space to accrete Materiality, especially with the Soul Threads still serving as a scaffolding to stretch her soul away from the Rune Cage. She wouldn't be able to grow her Nebulous Core anymore with the accreted Materiality in her soul.

At this point, she felt tempted to use her Control to create a very tiny Condensed Core, reach for Establishing Domain territory, and hope to fix this hindrance by another miracle. Her Materiality Capacity was around one hundred and fifty, the threshold where she would not be a total failure in the academy. But she was not in the academy anymore. A real threat, White Crusader, would kill her easily even with Soul Unravelling pushed to its limit.

To actually be strong among the mightiest, she'd need a very dense and high-capacity core. Having at least a thousand may have been tempting enough to settle for mediocrity. At that stage, she could look into purchasing a useful skill to expand her limited skill set. Skills usually cost several hundred Materiality units to use once, so that was almost out of the question once her Materiality Core solidified around one hundred and fifty.

Here, in the Primordial Heart's domain, she had infinite Materiality, at least that's how it felt. Her Soul Veins were immune to harm. So instead of using Materiality, what if she drew it into her Soul Form? Liesel tried. First, she drew Materiality into her Soul Veins, and then channeled it back into her Soul Form. A somewhat unassuming and airy Materiality gathered inside her Soul Form. Liesel's heart thumped. Is it possible?

Liesel used her Control to manipulate it, and it responded the same as the normal Materiality outside the realm. She was tempted, very tempted, to assimilate it into her Nebulous Core and expand its size. The only caveat was: what if the Materiality here was just as artificial as the world around it, and instead of the energy, she was assimilating something far more sinister into her Nebulous Core? What if it just ceased to be once she left the realm? Her Core would collapse, and she'd die instantly.

She mulled over the thought as she applied pressure to the Materiality, trying to find the breaking point of the illusion. There were none. She looked for Arval, wondering if the child had any knowledge of it. Had she attempted the same thing? Liesel found the child by the river, grieving the loss of her father again. Liesel's first instinct was to let the child have her space, but she also felt slightly guilty for kicking her out of the stone garden. Maybe that sent Arval into a bout of grief.

She sat beside Arval, patting the child's back. This time, instead of calming her, as Liesel had hoped, the gesture achieved the opposite. Arval cried without pause like the world was about to collapse. It lasted for a long while, and Liesel was conflicted the entire time about whether this was a good thing or bad. Liesel didn't think she had cried once after she had left her Mother's Bedroom after the funeral.

She had rationalized everything in that room and left in an emotionless stasis that had lasted even through her encounter with the Mindeater. Maybe it was a good thing for Arval to grieve, instead of burying that somewhere far and deep, never to be touched again. A boulder chaining all the emotions, sinking everything into the depthless abyss along with it. An escape was great, but perhaps that was only true for Liesel herself. Arval eventually calmed down. And she seemed embarrassed.

She ran into her room and shut the door from inside. Liesel knocked a few times, but the door didn't open. As Liesel turned around, she stood in another long, endless corridor. What's the point of this? Liesel wondered. She looked back, and the door to Arval's room behind her was gone. She walked straight again. This time, she had the mental fortitude not to be dragged into spiraling thoughts and concerns. She did wonder about Arval's grief for the most part.

To what degree was the spar a painful distraction instead of an actual desire to win? There was a mix of both. The child was too prideful to let herself lose on purpose. She may have held back, but that was past the point after the tenth time being knocked onto the ground. But those thoughts faded. As her exhaustion grew and she felt sleepy, her thoughts once again spiraled into the territories that she'd rather keep stifled.

This time, it was entirely into the territory of what kind of life she'd have led as the Crusader General. That was, of course, a conniving trick of her mind to pull her into the actual question—her dissatisfaction and her desire to be a White Crusader. Whether she still wished that future were true? Whether she wanted that future to be true even with the perspective she now had of the Empire?

To one day bear the mantle of highest Dignity, to have the power to march into the Emperor's Throne room and gaze upon the divine in human shell. To see what kind of man he was, and to see whether he deserved and desired her Strength. I don't desire it now. It's a waste of time. Not even a mental exercise worth entertaining. And those spiraling thoughts led her to her destination at the end of the corridor.

An empty room, so large that it may shroud an entire city block, and so high that a city could be built within it. Thousands upon thousands of stone benches lined up on all sides, leading to the great machinery in the center of the room. A massive pillar rose from hundreds of meters beneath the ground to the ceiling, an intricate art of metals and cogs and fluids and Materiality woven into an artificial being that may as well be divine.

Every minute it functioned, it consumed enough Materiality to power all of the residential districts of Inceptius for half a year. Once every three years, it was activated for a week, twelve hours a day. Only a few hundred amongst hundreds of thousands of children of the Empire were allowed to have their future appraised by it. The closest thing to true divination into the future. Liesel had placed her hand on it. She was one among those chosen few. It had divined her Destiny—Crusader General.

One of the highest talents of her generation. She should have been unrivalled in her ascent. A liar. Liesel couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. It seemed like nothing now. It was wrong. All this work, and it couldn't see the simple flow. What if the divined took care of her curse afflicted mother? Of course, the premise that Crusader General Prospect would ever have such a humane work was beyond even the godly machine's calculations. Liesel approached it. She was here anyway, and it looked alive.

What would it say about her now?