Chương 41: Fear?

As the days passed, the storm seemed to be stronger, and the number of centipedes flooding rose sharply. They were still very simple creatures, and, outside of their exterior strength, they lacked the magical finesse that might pose a threat to the expedition. They had the element of surprise the first time, and Farki Jan was the most damage they ever did. It might change today, though.

Liesel's ever-rapidly vanishing strength meant the other expedition members would have to slay the centipedes on their own, which was not a challenge in itself, but the sheer numbers would drain everyone's reserves almost instantly. Liesel had done her best to preserve their strength by using the Shade Severing Strike as a quicker way to slay the demons, and it was an extremely effective method to kill the giant arthropod.

At the same time, Liesel's lack of constitution, the effect of their sustenance, and the strain of the Shade Severing Strike were fundamentally destroying her body. After Auram left, calling her a liar, Liesel imagined that was the last time she'd see the spirit.

"I didn't, though," Liesel mumbled, but the spirit was already gone. She felt uneasy. She wanted to act, even though she was too tired to lift her hand. The contradiction of her body being consumed by the Materiality as it imbued limitless energy into her physical body was perhaps the second worst aspect of the Materiality Poisoning. The first was the cold scythe of the Reaper caressing her throat. She climbed to her feet, regarding the endless wasteland.

She wanted to take a walk alone for a minute, but the next storm would be the most dangerous, and it was imminent. She turned around and made her way down the sand. Each step was light, and yet she felt as though she was treading in the mud. --- --- Liesel leaned against the infinitely stretching boundary wall between the second layer and the third. Her complexion was pale, and the veins beneath her skin were visible like worms. Yehia approached her, extending the water bag.

"Thanks," Liesel exhaled. It felt heavy for some reason. Her fingers wanted to squeeze it until it burst. She uncorked the seal and took a sip. Yehia settled beside her. The spearwoman, for the most part, was almost unchanged compared to Liesel. She hadn't lost more than ten pounds from the lack of an actual diet—a lot for five days under normal circumstances—and Yehia's core was stable. Her constitution was likely one of the highest. Liesel didn't regret her decision to prioritise Strength over Constitution.

Without those improvements in Strength, she might not have survived this long. A long, unrelenting expedition, surviving on this concentrated diet, using Soul Severing Strike more than a dozen times in succession every day, was an unsustainable demand. The worst possible situation that could've unfolded for her. Yet, it was almost too perfect, like someone designed to push her to the brink. The Custodian... A part of her whispered. Liesel chuckled at the idea. She wouldn't put it past him.

If I had a few more months... things would've been different. If she had to find a fault in her own choice, it would be accepting this expedition without being prepared. But she had not known the danger then, and if she had, what other choice was there? Waiting around in the Saffron Helm wouldn't have resulted in anything. She'd probably have to find a way to escape the realm in its entirety by now, and that would mean abandoning the Necropolis, and that would have been a wise decision with the knowledge of today.

"How are you feeling?" Yehia asked, snapping Liesel out of her thoughts.

"I feel fine," Liesel said. She was tired. Her nerves were aching, not just her Soul Veins. Water weighed heavily in her stomach.

"How long before the next storm?" Yehia's lips twitched.

"Don't worry about it." Liesel tilted her head to the side, flicking her eyes to the rest of the team. Healer Borran looked away as she caught his eye. Are they expecting me to pass away before the storm? Can they survive without me? Liesel wondered. She would hope so, but today would be the most dangerous day yet. And tomorrow worse than today.

"It's Materiality Poisoning," Yehia said, taking the sack of water back and twisting the cap tightly.

"It's destroying your body. You cannot participate today."

"I understand my body better. I can fight today," Liesel said as she leaned against the wall and slowly stood up again. She didn't want to sit anymore. There was too much energy in her body to sit still, especially when she knew where the conversation was heading. Liesel was willing to be many things, but being a dead weight to another? She'd rather stab her sword into her throat than let that reality manifest.

"You should rest. Try to catch some sleep. We have a few hours, and if you insist on fighting, that'd be wise," Yehia said.

"I say you sit today out. Let the Poisoning flow out of your system," Charbil nodded.

"You are only gonna get yourself even more ill if you abuse Materiality again. Farki Jan just got off our backs; we can do a day or two without another." Charbil's complexion was darker, grayer. The Necropolis had affected him worse than Yehia. He seemed to have lost the most weight out of any of them, except for Liesel.

"Your worry is unfounded. If I am at the point where I become a burden, which I am not yet, as the effective leader, I will order you to abandon me."

"You can't," Farki Jan said.

"Since you didn't abandon me, there's no way I can abandon you." And there were more nods, from Yehia and Fiya, and even Garvin was agreeing, which was the oddest thing Liesel had seen in a while. Stolen novel; please report.

"Yeah, go to sleep," Garvin said.

"When you wake up, we'll be done with insects. The Vein has been only a few hours away." That's what they had been telling since day three, and even at the end of the fifth, they didn't have a better assurance.

"I appreciate your gesture, Garvin, but it's not a fairytale. If I go to sleep, I will wake up with half of you dead, or better off dead. I am not risking that outcome, after all coming all this way," Liesel settled her eye on the Observer.

"You serve a purpose, a unique one, while my role is my strength. If I cannot lend it, I have no purpose in continuing my journey. We don't know how far the Primordial Vein still is." They couldn't see any difference in the wasteland as far as the eyes could see. The castle of the Ash Lord was tucked behind the Demon General's skull, which was the only mark of their progress. Sirmal's Tomb was visible from here.

The red blanket that was the leaking energy was still as breathtaking when Liesel paused a moment to gaze upon it.

"I will help you as far as I can. If I lack the body to continue as far as the rest, that is my personal failure, and I should never affect the expedition as a whole."

"But—" Fiya was about to argue how she should've been abandoned by now, probably forgetting that she was playing the role of the source of food and water for the expedition.

"We are not arguing," Liesel said with finality in her voice.

"Rest your minds. If the previous days were any indication, we are not going to have an easy time." Liesel stretched her shoulder, and as she took a step forward, Yehia cut her path. Her fingers were clenching the spear tightly. Liesel wondered if the woman planned to knock her out.

"You should stay here. If the storm starts, you won't be able to run away." Liesel lowered her head, resting her forehead on Yehia's shoulder.

"You shouldn't waste your energy on me," Liesel uttered in a hushed voice.

"You know as well as I do, there's nothing that any of us can do to fix me. Better it be a dignified death than not, wouldn't you agree?"

"There's no way we survive one day without you," Yehia said, equally quietly.

"Kurvam will drag us to our death as soon as you abandon us."

"You will have to win then," Liesel's eyes started feeling heavier. She squeezed them.

"That's not the deal. I will protect you, and you will lead us. It's not your strength that we need, but you alive."

"I am sure you all will figure something out. You will have to. We made it this far. You won't let my efforts go to waste, right?" Yehia didn't reply for a minute.

"I... will not."

"Thanks," Liesel said.

"In return, I will try to make sure at least no one gets hurt today." She lifted her head and, without looking at Yehia, started walking towards the dune. She wanted to help them out one last time if this was truly her end. With every passing moment, she could feel her body withering. She felt the creeping doom, the scythe materializing on her neck. It was far from the worst way she could've died. She was still not a burden. She would be on her feet, moving, fighting demons in her last moment.

Her mother never had the chance to live that glorious life. She managed to climb up the dune, leaving behind a trail of footprints. She looked behind, and no one had followed her. A gust of wind from the south covered her trail, carrying the sand into the distance. Her vision darkened for a moment, and she lost sight of the wind. She didn't know if Auram would bring her the potion. If Isa could even prepare it. She hoped, but that was not enough.

"Auram..." Liesel called. Liesel believed that if she could have a clear head for a minute and energy in her body, which the potion should allow, she would be able to filter out all the Materiality in her flesh and burn it from her flesh. To even consider extracting the Materiality assimilated in the flesh was an outrageous idea, and she would most likely fail. Yet, it was the only possible choice she would have.

And even if she succeeded, she didn't know how the body was in condition to withstand the blowback of the potion.

"Auram..." Liesel called again. The spirit didn't come to her side.

"I guess you have every right to be upset after all the danger I have exposed your existence to for a sliver of chance at my survival." Liesel lay down on her back, staring up at the night sky. It was vast, even if an illusion. Was it an illusion? Were they really inside a Necropolis, or in an unexplored realm connected at the tail of the Saffron Realm? It could be the latter. There was no way to know what time of day it was from looking up at the sky. That's what the storm was for. It marked the end of the day.

Liesel wanted to stay on the dune in case Auram brought the potion. And if she didn't, Liesel wanted to make sure at least she couldn't be a distraction for the expedition team. At least, more than one person was fond of her; even if Liesel couldn't fathom what part of her would make them like her, she could tell the emotions people felt towards her intuitively. The lethality of the centipedes left no option for anyone to pause.

But if she were to be caught in the storm and then the sand centipedes attacked, they would snap out of the shock instantly. It was the most effective way to make sure they didn't make a mistake.

"What are you thinking?" Auram asked. She was sitting on her chest. Liesel sat up, regarding the spirit with her exhausted eyes.

"Nothing important."

"Oh, I know you," Auram huffed.

"Probably that it's best to die if you can't help them."

"I am not that predictable."

"But you are," Auram grinned.

"The storm will start sooner today, I feel. And it's gonna last longer. You should go back to the wall."

"What good would that do?" Liesel shrugged. The spirit frowned.

"You—""Auram."

"Yeah," the spirit replied, dropping whatever she was about to say.

"I am sorry," Liesel said.

"I didn't mean to deceive you. I believe I can burn the Materiality in my body if I had the energy. My control is precise. But that doesn't change the reality. I would most likely fail."

"Even I can't imagine doing something like that, but you did say it most likely won't work," Auram nodded.

"I shouldn't have called you a liar. I am not really the one in danger, anyway. It's you who is ill. Isa is working on something. I hope it will finish soon."

"On what?"

"That I have no clue," Auram said.

"She just asked me for more Materiality Cores, so I borrowed some from your share of the demon hunts. Hope you don't mind."

"The Chancellor is going to steal all of them anyway. Don't worry about it," Liesel said.

"But you should probably return the Custodian's jewel to him. I doubt it's something I will have the opportunity to use anymore."

"I will take it back to the library, but I am not giving it back to the Custodian. You can use it on something in the wasteland, after you make a base around the Primordial Vein."

"I suppose that is an option too," Liesel said.

"Liesel," Auram said, "You are not going to die here."

"You shouldn't worry about that," Liesel winked.

"I will try to live until my last breath, of course."

"You are sitting here to die," Auram said.

"I can tell from the way you speak you want to use the storm. How can you be so calm? It's almost as though you don't want to live."

"I do," Liesel said.

"But there's nothing to fear about death, is there? I will be in a moment of unimaginable pain and then in forever peace. I prefer that this time I have the opportunity to choose, unlike the trial dungeon."

"And about your life?"

"I have always sought a dignified life over comfort, so I want my death to be anything but," Liesel said, looking back at the Ascendants. They were nibbling on the protein bar like rats.

"I don't understand you," Auram looked down at her hands.

"Why can't you be afraid, worried about your life for once?"

"But I am. I was worried that I was going to be a liar forever in your memory," Liesel said.

"I will never have the opportunity to thank Isa for what she is doing. Or tell Fiya to be less reckless with magic; otherwise she'd follow after me, but I can't. If I return, I am not coming back here, and then, I will die as dead weight, leaving behind a paralyzed mage. And a very broken expedition team. Or risk exposing you to all of them."

"I don't believe that's a risk. You will be safer there." Auram's eyes widened. The sand beneath Liesel's feet trembled.