Chương 37: The Emptiness of Solitude and Shadows

The stone streets of Ithrya had been left behind. The damp wind from the isolated forest blew against the ancient clearing, swaying the tree canopies that surrounded the party's improvised training grounds. Three full days had passed since the hunt in the cave, and the girls refused to remain in the inn room merely waiting.

Under Selene's firm leadership, the group had moved to that specific woods out of pure strategy and hope: it was the same forest where Kuro had taken shelter with Liora, and the exact spot where he had found Akari. They knew that if he managed to make it out of the abyss alive and walked through that region, this reference point would be the precise location where he would know he could find them.

The allies were doing remarkably well in the local economy after accumulating another ten gold coins through tactical gathering missions across the region during these three days, ensuring the logistics of their supplies in the city. But there, in the dirt courtyard of the clearing, the focus was military strengthening.

The sound of clashing metal echoed relentlessly; Lyra trained intensely alongside Liora, whose black hair strands had already grown back with Mireya's cellular potion, molding a sharp, straight bob at neck height in the Japanese style. The two warriors clashed their katanas, refining their vanguard reflexes.

Away from the combat line, Aurelia focused her attention on reading ancient books, trying to decipher the new purple streaks in her bangs and the trauma she had endured, while Mireya remained seated near a rock, studying advanced molecular alchemy compounds with her reagents. Further ahead, taking advantage of the open space, Selene practiced controlling her complex magics and spent her time actively training Akari.

Assuming the role of a protective Mistress, Selene refined the instincts of the young Neko at the exact spot where she had been rescued from the monsters' claws, keeping the guard up on the surface chessboard in hopes of a reunion there. The military constancy of that forest dissolved completely when the opaque darkness of the magical black box weighed like lead in the deep depths, dragging my consciousness into the center of a trance.

I was isolated in the emptiness of the divine trap, but the silence did not last. My own psyche began to project real figures in the pitch-black, forcing me to face an implacable mental tribunal. The mist condensed first into the silhouettes of my mother and my sister from Earth. They appeared side by side, staring at me with faces covered in disappointment.

"I taught you to be a good person, Ren. What have you become?"

"I changed," I faced the projection, feeling my soul constrain the silence.

"I cannot rest until I take revenge on everything and everyone. I am a monster now, and I accept what I am." Their images dissolved, giving way to the ghost of Rina, sporting her striking purple hair and purple eyes, accompanied by the female mastermind behind the school massacre... I had executed on Earth exactly one month before the isekai. The mastermind, wearing a stained school uniform, took a step forward with a mocking smile.

"Did I deserve to be killed before you even let me explain? You didn't even know the real reason. You hunted and killed five people from our school because of one woman?"

"She was worth the entire world," the pure hatred reactivated my core. The purple mist shifted shapes again, and my own projection manifested before me. It was my other version: the King Kurogami of the past, half human and half shadow, sporting one normal eye and the other a brilliant red. He stared at me with deep contempt.

"What is your true objective? Do you want to make them live, even if you have to die for it?"

"No," I faced my own shadow copy.

"If I die, everything will have been in vain. But if I have no choice, I have to do it. I am not a hero who sacrifices himself so that someone else may live... but Selene will live. She will be happy. Only she deserves that. This might not make sense to me, but Selene thinks differently. She has already proven she would give her life for me. But honestly, I don't know if I would give mine for her, simply because I might not accept fate and would do everything possible to bring her back.

I would never give up until I succeeded. I would destroy everything to achieve my objective. And, of course, I would do the exact same thing for Liora, Akari, and Aurelia. Selene wouldn't kill people just to bring me back. She is the type who prefers to be hurt rather than hurt people... but if I command her to kill, she will kill. She is like that." If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Before I could breathe, two new silhouettes erupted from the pitch-black: Astaria and Aurelia in her ancient queen and heroine version from the Kingdom of Valtherion. The ancient Aurelia pointed her divine blade in my direction, her voice heavy with judgment.

"This is all your fault, Kurogami. Do you not repent? You simply did not accept defeat, and I know very well what you did. In my history, you are the villain, and you are also the villain in the histories of thousands of people because of that mana crystal that decimated the entire kingdom."

"It's not my fault. It belongs to both of you—yours and Astaria's." I took a step forward, sustaining the Heroine's gaze while feeling the fury of the past burn.

"But even after everything the two of you did to me, I feel no anger toward you. You were just playing your roles there. But choices caused this... every action has its reaction. You defeated me, and I reacted by killing everyone at once. All that massacre, the decimated kingdom, and the blood... all of that could have been changed if you simply hadn't attacked me. I am the villain of my own story." The surrounding mist seemed to tremble at my words.

I myself might be making the entity that put me in this situation the villain of my story, but that changes nothing. I made the choices, not her. I screwed up, not her. It makes no sense to blame the goddess if I am the one who is wrong. But what if she truly manipulated and altered my destiny? Then she became the villain of my story, and I have to reach her now. I don't know if I just want to kill her... first, I need to torture her, destroy everything she loves, and only then do that to her.

Sometimes even the puppeteer finds themselves trapped by their own strings. My red-eyed copy let out a gélid laugh, applying the final tactical sweep in the court of the mind.

"Don't you dare express emotions. You failed to save anyone. You are just a weakling who still has a lot to learn. You are me, and I am you, and all you have now is the emptiness. Only the emptiness. You might even say you love her, but as time passes, the less you will be able to love. The less you will be able to feel. You can still feel inside, but you can no longer express it on your facial features. A time will come when you won't be able to do any of that.

How are you going to make Selene happy if you can't even give her a smile? Even if you love her... can you make her happy? You wanted to stay with her." In the next instant, all the illusions of guilt began to weaken and vanished into the pitch-black, dissolving into the mist. In the middle of the empty darkness, only two figures remained standing before me: my cousin Rina and the ancient version of Selene. They carried no hatred or judgment, only a profound calmness.

Rina took a step forward, fixing her purple eyes on mine.

"Kurogami Ren... I hope to find you again. And know that I have nothing to blame you for. I am also you. I am a half of you that you can never forget... and I want you to remember me forever. That way, I will always be alive in you." Beside her, the silhouette of the past Selene gave a tender smile, saying goodbye.

"Kuro, I was happy with you in the kingdom. And I hope my current version will be too." Their words echoed like the definitive closure of that torture. Faced with such complex ideas driven by empty gazes and acceptance, the darkness of the magical black box shattered completely in an invisible crash. The cosmic barrier splintered, and Reina's silhouette, already in her imposing adult human form with long pink hair, emerged ripping through the mental void.

She extended her arm with total force and drove her hand into the middle of nothingness. I stretched out my arm with the remnant of energy left in me and firmly gripped her fingers, being ripped out of that trance once and for all. The impact of physical reality threw me back onto the damp rock floor of the subterranean abyss. Air rushed back into my lungs with a violent gasp of agony, and I coughed up a trail of dark blood.

In the exact same instant, I felt the biological toll: upon breaking the barrier of that Goddess's trap, my half-human, half-shadow body had lost exactly sixty percent of its humanity. I tried to raise the corners of my lips to force a smile of relief for making it out alive and for seeing that she was there, but the muscles of my face simply locked. The emotional paralysis on my facial features was complete. Beside me, Reina collapsed to her knees, her hands covering her face as violent sobs shook her shoulders.

"It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't me! That Cosmic Entity invaded my mind and used me to plunge the sword into your chest! I will do anything to make it up to you for almost killing you... except perverted things!" I looked at her with total facial apathy, incapable of demonstrating the warmth or relief I felt inside. The warning from the puddle of water still echoed in my mind, but I audiovisual needed to focus on the real chessboard.

"Do you hate your enemies?" Reina wiped away her tears, observing my gélid lack of expression.

"Yes, I hate them. But I am much worse. I also hate myself." She listened in silence, demonstrating deep satisfaction with my implacable and practical posture. I stood up slowly, adjusting my wolf fur coat and tightening my fingers around the hilt of the Black Steel sword. Thoughts continued to collide inside me. From fighting so much, I ended up creating my own war. Do I only fight for them to feel good in the end? Are they the only reason for me to keep going?

Sometimes I think that if it were for Selene, I would move mountains... but even so, why do Rina and Aurelia never leave my mind? Aurelia... I only lost my kingdom because of her. And Rina, I avenged her on Earth, but I ended up becoming this. I don't want to screw up anymore. I don't want to screw up. I stared at Reina for a few seconds, analyzing her new silhouette under the penumbra of the galleries.

"You are quite beautiful when you are an adult." She immediately crossed her arms, puffing out her cheeks with an expression mixed with pride and shyness.

"Don't even try! I already told you I won't join any harem!"

"You don't need to join my harem." I rested my hand on the black sword, sustaining her gaze.

"But I want you to stay by my side, because I forgive you. You just saved me now, so I owe you one too. And I believe you were truly being used for real. You wouldn't have the courage to do that... considering your mentality isn't very adult-like." Reina's face boiled, and she stomped her foot on the rocky floor, furious at the provocation about her maturity.

"Fine then! Let's just open the door already!" She marched with firm steps toward the immense stone barrier. I looked at the giant purple structure locking the end of the floor, feeling the shadow mana circulate through my paralyzed fingers.

"Let's go, Reina."