Chương 83: Screw It. I’m Confessing. Somewhat.

I'm Confessing. Somewhat.

POV: The Dark Lord, Milo Miles My heart was going faster than usual, I was sure I could feel Eve's doing the exact same thing, since her… chest was pressed on my back. Even Luke seemed to be in on it; she'd eased off her strides, giving us the moment to bask in this… tender stuff. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't over the moon about it. Evelisse, with her arms wrapped around me from behind, the two of us cutting through slightly orange skies, the wind streaming past and tugging at both our hair.

It was like one of those motorbike dates from the movies, except better, because, well, we're on the back of a Cerberus. She hadn't said a word since that last sentence, and that sentence just kept looping in my head.

"Just... call me Eve." Man. Such a small thing, and yet it made me feel… what? Privileged? Special? Some mix of the two. If this were a manga, this would be the moment where the female love interest finally lets the guy use her first name, the name usually reserved for people close to her. Did that custom carry over here? Was I... part of Eve's inner circle now? Or, was this us getting closer to being something more? While I was still fumbling for something to say, I swear I felt her arms tighten around me.

Just a fraction. Maybe I imagined it, but I chose to believe it was real, and not just my heart and my dumb brain running away with itself.... Right. I really should say something. She had to be dying of embarrassment back there.

"U-um, Eveli—I mean." I caught myself.

"Eve?" A small twitch against my back. Then a pause, a few seconds long.

"... Y-yes?"

"... S-sorry. I'm—I'm really not good at this kind of thing, so..." I felt her cheek lift away from my back. She was probably looking at the back of my head now, which meant she was getting a full view of my ears, which I could feel had gone the color of a ripe tomato. Great. Nowhere to hide. For a moment, neither of us said anything. Just the wind, and Luke's soft rhythm beneath us, and the two of us not knowing where to put any of it. Then her cheek settled against my back again; this time, it felt different.

Firmer, with more intent on it.

"Do you mind," she said quietly, "if I stay like this? For a while." Oh, hell.

"N-no." My voice came out about an octave too high, and I cleared my throat and tried again.

"No. It's... it's fine. Really."

"... Okay." And that was that. The silence rolled back in, awkward as anything, and she still hadn't let go, and I was fairly certain a weaker man would've keeled over on the spot. Neither of us had the faintest idea what came next, and my brain did not provide any helpful anime protagonist to copy. No clever line. Nothing. So I just let it be. I didn't try to fill the quiet or make it mean something it didn't have to.

She had her arms around me, and her cheek on my back, and she wanted to stay that way, and I didn't mind. I hoped, somehow, that she could feel that through all the flustered silence that I wasn't just tolerating this, that I was honored she'd wanted it at all. Maybe that was enough. For now, anyway.

At least until we had to go and drop off the hostages, who, I suddenly remembered with a small jolt of guilt, were still slung unconscious across Luke's back, entirely oblivious to the fact that their captor was currently having what might well be the best moment of his life. The drop-off itself was simple enough. The moment Astrea's grand gates came into view, I hopped down off Luke's back with the two party members, laid them out on the grass, and slapped them awake.

They didn't come to right away, but once I heard a couple of groans, I figured that was close enough. Honestly, though, I just didn't want to deal with them anymore. Not after what had happened with Evelisse. All I wanted was to get back up on Luke and return to the tender-moment stuff as fast as humanly possible, and put these two goons out of my mind entirely. I could've just teleported us back, but that'd kill the momentum or whatever we had going. A bit more time on the road wouldn't hurt, right?

Hell, I hadn't even checked my new skills yet, and that was normally the first thing I did after a Terror Level bump. Should I start calling her Eve in my own head, too? I think I should. Might help me get used to this whole newfound... intimacy. Assuming I wasn't getting way ahead of myself here, which was possible, but dude, a girl just embraced me and asked if it's okay for her to stay that way. It had to mean at least something, right?

As I floated back up onto Luke, I caught Eveli—Eve's face, still faintly red. She looked... cute. I mean, she'd always been pretty, but after what just happened, it hit different, somehow, and—ugh, what was I even thinking? It wasn't like she'd confessed or anything. Still, this was a step forward. It had to be. And yet the embrace didn't return. Of course it didn't. The whole thing had come out of nowhere, and one time didn't mean there'd be a second.

She'd only done it because— The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.... Why had she done it, actually? What set it off? The mood? The wind? Or was it something I said? What was I even saying before? If I remembered right, it'd been about... Nyx. Wait. Was Eve feeling jeal—"Milo?"

"Y-yes! Anything I can help you with?"... I realized, a bit too late, that I'd said that like I was greeting a customer at a register. I turned toward her as Luke picked up her pace. Eve was still a little flushed, and she shifted where she sat, her gaze slipping off to the side and down, one hand closing around a fistful of Luke's fur, then loosening again, gently, like she'd suddenly worried it might hurt her. Those small, thoughtful little things made me couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Um…I wanted to apologize. For—you know." She wouldn't look at me.

"What happened. I don't really know what came over me. I just... did it, without thinking." No no no no no. I had to fix this, fast.

"I don't mind at all! Honestly, I actually kind of enjoyed it!" Eve's eyes went wide.... Damn it. Why had it come out like that? Too straightforward. Way too straightforward. But there'd been this sudden, desperate urgency to make sure she knew I hadn't minded, that she shouldn't apologize for it, of all things. Sure, I could've phrased it about a hundred better ways, but my brain wasn't exactly in proper working condition at the moment.

Then the color bloomed back across her cheeks, and her eyes went soft and startled and bright all at once, and she looked away again, sideways and down. Her lower lip caught for a second between her teeth, like she was holding something back, a smile, maybe, or at least I hoped it was, before she let it go, pressing her lips into a thin, unconvincing line that did nothing at all to hide the little curve tugging at their corners.

And right at that moment, my heart just about did a somersault, and it's like a cupid had lined up the shot and put an arrow clean through it. A hundred questions were lining up in my head. Why had she done that? What are we right now? Something? Or not yet? I'd assumed this would all go so much slower, especially after the Eye of Love stuff, which still gave me a low, sick sting every time it crossed my mind.

Back in that dragon dungeon, I'd told Lunessa I'd work to become better; someone actually worth standing next to Eve, and I was getting there, slowly, but I'm not there yet. Not even close. I'm nowhere near capable enough, and yet, with her acting like this, how was I supposed to keep resisting the urge to be at her side now, long before I'd earned it? She was strong, capable, beautiful. She gave everything her all every time.

She'd sacrificed so much, in so little time, for my sake, and I was going to do whatever it took to make sure she never once regretted it. Hell, she'd just put herself through a truly staggering amount of embarrassment for me, moments ago. I could talk all day about becoming more capable someday, but that didn't mean I should do nothing about how she was feeling right now. Right. As a certain famous wish-fulfillment protagonist named Kirito once put it, I'd rather trust and regret than doubt and regret.

So this time I'd trust my gut and actually do something, instead of guessing back and forth and ending up doing nothing at all. She deserved reassurance. After everything.

"Evelisse," I said and immediately botched it.

"I—I mean, Eve." She looked over.

"I'm not sure if Lunessa's told you this yet, but... she asked me something. Once. Back in the dungeon." I grasped for the name and came up empty.

"The—uh. I don't remember what it's called, but you know the one."

"The Foaming Lair?"

"Yes, that one." I nodded, grateful.

"She, um…she asked me some things. About me. And... about you." Eve went very still, listening.

"I'm sure she told you something about it, but I wanted you to hear it from me, that…you don't need to worry." I made myself keep going.

"I'm nowhere near capable enough yet. I'm not strong enough to protect everyone, and I'm definitely not smart enough for half of what's coming. But I'll do my best to get there. To be worthy of standing with all of you." I swallowed.

"I know we've still got a mountain of things to deal with, but I'll be as useful as I can manage. I appreciate all of you, really. Especially you." She didn't say anything. So I pressed on, before my nerve gave out.

"If it weren't for you, Lunessa and Mel wouldn't be here at all. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have died fighting Ywain. Heck, if it weren't for you, I'd have died in my first three days in this world." My voice wavered, but I held it.

"You did everything. You gave up damn near your whole life for some random guy you saved once. And... thank you. For that. For all of it."

"Milo..."

"I just—I want you to know I appreciate everything you've done, and that you never have to worry, or be afraid, that I might betray you, or coast through this, or do things half-heartedly. I'm really trying to be worthy of—" The word snagged in my throat.

"—of…standing next to you. If... you know what I mean." I couldn't look at her. Heat came climbing up my neck, my ears burning, my whole body tingling despite the pleasant breeze, and my gaze went skittering off to the horizon, the clouds, Luke's fur, anywhere at all that wasn't Eve's face.

"I mean—I'll do it properly, the—the feelings thing, once I'm actually there. It's just, you know, right now I—I wanted to reassure you. Of things. Because you, um, you did something just now. And I could be reading it completely wrong, but I decided to say this anyway, because whether I'm right or wrong, you deserve the reassurance, and I just—" And the world seemed to stop.

I hadn't been watching her face, but somehow, when I finally registered it, she was there; her face right beside mine, her chin settled on my shoulder, her arms come around me again. I could feel the warmth of her against my side, the soft scent of her, the small rise and fall of her breathing.

"It's okay, Milo," she said, quietly.

"I know." I didn't deserve a single part of this. Not yet. But she was here, so I just let myself take the moment in. From the corner of my eye, I could see her ears getting red, and I could faintly feel the heat from around her face. It might sound exaggerated, but it's just how I felt. Okay, or maybe that's just the heat in my face.

"I don't think you're wrong," she went on.

"And you can take your time. I'm not going anywhere. I will do my best to…um, be worthy too." I couldn't find any words at all.

"And... thank you. For—well. Let's just say everything." I should say something. Say something. But what? Right. Stop thinking, and just—"Come back right now!" Nyx's voice tore through my head. Why in the world would she mental-link me now, of all times? Sensing something off, Eve pulled back from me, though not far, her face still right there, inches from mine, the warmth of the moment draining into something wary.

"Nyx? I'm already on my way back. What's the rush?" Nothing. The link had gone dead the instant she'd finished that one line, like a door slammed shut behind her words. I reached for it again, groping for the connection. It wouldn't reconnect. Shit. Of course something would go sideways the exact second things went right.