Chương 173: 87. This Time Will Be Different

"Wow, that's fucking weird," Maggie observes. I gotta say, I'm with her on this one. As promised, Fargo showed us where Nipper's cocoon is hiding, and "hiding" really is the word. Underneath the end table where we first found Al's letter, Nipper's cocoon is tucked away into the space on the right side. Like, literally inside the space. From any direction other than the left side, towards the bed, it is not visible at all. Or rather, it's not there at all.

It's as if there's an infinitely thin portal into a little pocket dimension that's exactly the size and shape of one Nipper cocoon. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was some sort of weird optical illusion, but we can literally reach through the space where Nipper "should" be and touch nothing but air. Unless we do it from the right direction.

"This isn't just weird," Vi complains,"it's nonsense. How can we reach past it from the opposite side and then somehow not pass through it when we withdraw our hand?"

"And he just does this on his own?" I glance back to ask Fargo.

"I thought I'd somehow lost him, the first time," he replies.

"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm no expert," Talla hedges, which usually means she's about to explain something very technical, "but it seems like the cocoon warps the astral field around itself to form a sort of protective shell. Not quite enough to create a true aperture, but even a burrow like that is pretty impressive for such a young monster."

"Well, we fed him pretty well, didn't we?" I point out. Talla eyes me with a small frown, probably recalling that the only other thing we've seen with space-bending powers was the hyperdimensional spider demon that stalked us through the convergence point.

"Right..."

"Anyway," I sigh.

"While Mags will probably kill me if I don't at least ask you to tell us more about that 'astral field' thingy later, I think we'd like to be alone for a little bit." The two of them step back in almost perfect sync and incline their heads.

"Of course," Talla says.

"You know where to find us if you need anything."

"Thanks." I take a seat on the bed and wait for them to clear out. I'm tempted to just go right back to sleep, but there's one more thing to take care of. I've been putting it off, because it always feels wrong after big disasters like this. The [World Engine] has its own weird way of comforting us after the worst moments of our life, but it just strikes me as perverse. Like the world bears witness to our most painful experiences and says "Good, now do it again!" And every time, I think it'll be the last one.

That this time, surely, we'll have the strength we need to make sure it doesn't happen again. Blood and acid, it's only been a couple of months—there's no way I deserve to be this jaded. No matter how much I ignore them, though, the words are always there. And we really do need the strength—now more than ever. So, with a heavy sigh, I close my eyes and read. [Level up!] Incandescent Souls has grown from level 7 to 9. +6 Power. +6 Resilience. +6 Awareness. +6 Ego. Yeah, we sure did "burn brighter" huh?

Is that the first time we've gained multiple levels in that class? I can't remember, and I don't care. It's almost mastered now, but it's going to be stuck there for a while before we can get another class ready to fuse with it. [Level up!] Linguist has grown from level 3 to 8. +5 Awareness. Dang, that's a lot. I guess between delivering a whole speech in court and reading all those letters, we put a lot of effort into it, but those tier zero classes really do go pretty quick in life or death situations.

I'm starting to pick up on the fact that doing things with higher stakes tends to result in faster levels. That's probably why convergence points are so good at speeding things along—everything is high stakes in a deadly cave full of monsters. [Level up!] Monster Trainer has grown from level 0 to 2. +4 Awareness (Magdalena). +4 Ego (Magdalena). I'm surprised she got anything at all for that, considering that Nipper wasn't even with us.

I wrack my brain for a good minute or two trying to figure out what might have done it, but nothing comes to mind. Oh well, can't complain. [Level up!] Lucid Dreamer has grown from level 5 to 10. +10 Ego (Evelyn). +10 Will (Evelyn). Holy fricking moly! How in the heck?

"Evie, did we have a dream while we were out?" I ask incredulously.

"No," she replies simply.

"Why?"

"Uh, are you seeing this?"

"Of course. What seems to be the problem?" I blink.

"You're not the littlest bit shocked about gaining five levels at once in a tier one class?"

"The advancement condition is to explore my subconscious mind," she reminds me.

"I don't have to be asleep to do that. I've had some revelations." Just as I'm waffling over whether or not to pry further, something else catches my attention.

"Hold on, your name!" I shout-whisper.

"It always said your proper name before."

"It still does," she replies wearily.

"I meant what I said to Lady Shaa. Whoever I truly am, it cannot be exactly who I was before, nor who I was raised to be. If I am to grow beyond my past, I must let go of it. So I honor the Goddess' gift of a second life by beginning anew, as Maev Evelyn." Despite having already worn out our tear ducts earlier, my eyes water a little bit at the sentiment. The moment is only slightly ruined by Maggie's mad cackling.

"Yes, hahaha, yes!" she cries.

"Join us! Welcome to the dark side, fallen priestess!" Evie sighs, and I can feel her shaking her head in exasperation.

"Accepting myself as one of you is not the same as accepting everything about you. I still think that you are a deranged lunatic, Magdalena, but perhaps not yet beyond redemption."

"Tsk, shit!" Maggie spits.

"Well, I'll try to work on that. We'll see who ends up corrupting who, in the end." A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. I roll my eyes, but we're all used to Maggie's melodrama by now.

"It's good to have you with us, Evie," I say.

"Sorry about the whole 'being a hideous gremlin creature' thing."

"I'm getting used to it," she chuckles. There's one more surprise for us before I can move on. [Level up!] Instigator has grown from level 6 to 10. +4 Ego (Reverie). Wow. I, uh, guess that tracks, huh? We sort of maybe kinda started a civil war, a little bit. Yeesh, that hurts to think about almost as much as the dang bullet lodged in our chest. I really don't know what the heck we're supposed to do with the [Instigator] class. It feels like a bad idea to fuse that into anything else.

We'll have to ask Revi what she's planning to take next, since I think we're all a bit nervous about any other surprises she might have in store for us. That makes now as good a time as any to go over the classes we have mastered. Starting with the tier one classes, we've got: [Pathfinder] [Savior] [Lucid Dreamer] With Evie's class as the only new addition.

"Come to think of it, Vi, you kinda got shafted, didn't you?" I notice.

"I guess you were right about fusing those classes sooner."

"Not really," she disagrees.

"I doubt it would have made a difference against the High Inquisitor, and the long-term faults could still cripple us."

"Part of that was that we were in the city, instead of traveling," I point out.

"We're on the move now, and probably will be for a while. Even if we could just settle in Jira's village—er, tribe—it's still technically part of the empire."

"That's a good point, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the path that [Itinerant Hero] puts us on, and [Travel Guide] just doesn't feel right at all."

"We should at least see what the new options are," Evelyn chimes in.

"It had already been the plan to fuse [Lucid Dreamer] with [Pathfinder]."

"It can't hurt," I agree. I suppose we'll start with that obvious case, then. [Tier 2 Dreamwalker]*** A spiritual explorer who has plumbed the depths of their own subconscious and turned their sights outward to blur the boundary between dreams and reality. Skill - Dream Walking: You remain aware while sleeping and may either control your dream or create a projection of reality within it. Skill - Dream Guide: You may bring up to three willing participants into either your dream or one of theirs.

Skill - As Good as Real: You and any guests retain a portion of experience and satiation from actions taken within your dreams. Skill - Remember the Way: Perfectly recall details of a dream walk to guide you while waking. Attribute bonuses: Awareness, Ego, Will. Advancement: Explore the world through dreams.

"Huh," I muse.

"I'm not sure I get it."

"Aren't those first two skills basically just Eve's spell?" Maggie complains."'Eve'?" Evelyn questions.

"Well, you've abandoned the name E'ava," Mags replies flippantly.

"I have to call you something."

"It's almost endearing that even after changing my name, you all still refuse to actually use it," she sighs.

"Anyway, the skills would be less draining than the spell, and we could use it on others rather than just ourselves."

"And I hope I don't have to point out how useful being able to eat in a dream is," Violet adds.

"I think that's the first time we've gotten a skill that just gives us free food with no questions asked."

"You can't survive entirely on that," Evelyn warns.

"It's fine to supplement a regular diet, but food created by skills becomes less effective the longer you go without real food." Right, it's probably just pure calories without any actual nutrition behind it, or something like that. You'd survive for a while, but the lack of protein and vitamins would kill you. Still, I wish we'd had that back in the dungeon—to give me a break from raw lizard meat, at least.

"I guess the last skill just helps us translate our dream walking to real exploration," I comment.

"It feels like the class is actually a lot worse at actually exploring than [Pathfinder]."

"That tends to happen with fusions between very different domains," Evie provides.

"One or the other will usually have a stronger presence in the class. In this case, dreaming has more weight than exploration. Lady Talla could probably explain more thoroughly." Probably, but I'd rather wait until after we've made a decision. Not that I don't trust our friends to offer advice, I just feel like this sort of thing has to be our own choice.

"Let's look at the other option," I suggest. If we use [Savior] instead of [Pathfinder] we get: [Tier 2 Dream Guardian]*** A spirit guardian, keeping a constant vigil over their host to protect them at all costs. Skill - Blessing of the Dream Guardian: Grant one willing target a permanent blessing that allows your spirit to inhabit their dream. As long as your body lives, this blessing places no burden on the target.

Skill - Manifest Astral Body: While sleeping, you may physically manifest your spirit with dramatically increased attributes. Skill - Over My Dead Body: Injuries sustained by your host are partially transferred to your body. Damage to your physical body is not reflected by your Astral Body. Skill - Eternal Vigil: While asleep and inhabiting someone's dream, you do not require food or drink, and your wounds heal more rapidly.

If your physical body dies, your spirit will continue to live within the dream of your host as long as they can sustain your blessing. Attribute bonuses: Resilience, Ego, Will. Advancement: Defend your host.

"Uh... yikes?" Maggie says. Oh boy, where to begin?

"It's uh... certainly powerful," I hedge.

"Absolutely not," Violet states firmly.

"We're not turning ourselves into some kind of weird ghost."

"How does that even work with us, though?" I wonder.

"Like, could one of us be the Dream Guardian while the rest of us are still awake?"

"That does have the potential to be quite potent," Evie comments.

"It would be an interesting fit for River."

"Even if we did," Vi argues,"two of the skills would be useless."

"Would they?" I wonder.

"Healing faster in our sleep could be useful, and I'd rather not test the whole 'dying' thing anyway." Honestly, that's the part of the class that creeps me out the most. It seems like the entire thing is focused around this idea of giving up your life for someone else. Even if it's not explicitly required, it's got this whole theme of self-sacrifice that makes me uncomfortable.

Especially hot off the heels of losing Draga—I can really feel the temptation to give up everything else to make sure we don't lose someone like that again.

"I mean, there's an easy enough way to settle this," Maggie says.

"Who would actually take that class? Not me."

"I don't think it's for me," I reply.

"I'd rather not give up my lucid dreaming," Evie adds.

"The other class feels closer to what I've already got." That just leaves Vi. She was the first one to try to veto it, but she's being unusually quiet all of a sudden.

"If we could sacrifice one of us for a permanent boost in strength," she begins.

"Then—""Okay!" I interrupt.

"We're all agreed, then. Not taking that one." Like heck I'm going to let Vi do that to herself. She doesn't argue with me.

"Do we even need to decide right now?" Evie asks.

"We could wait until Maggie finishes her class." I grimace at that.

"We've already stalled quite a bit. I know Maggie wants to work her Tamer class into our core, but I don't know if we can afford to wait that long."

"I don't think we can afford not to," Mags retorts.

"But it doesn't matter. Take the class now or later—I'll catch up." She's very good at staying confident despite being most of an entire tier one class behind.

"If you say so," I reply with a shrug.

"What about you, Vi? Is there a tier zero class you've got your eye on?"

"I need more time to think about it," she sighs.

"For now, I'll just keep [Savior] on." Well, that's that, I guess. Evie takes the [Dreamwalker] class, while the rest of us have time to mull over our upcoming decisions while we're still on the ship. I lie down on the bed, exhausted despite only having been awake for an hour or so. If I think about what we've been through, I'll cry again, so I try to look forward instead. I don't know where we're going, or what we're going to see.

In a way, it's almost like we're back at the start again, but just a bit more prepared—more ready to deal with whatever's out there. This time, I tell myself—not for the first time—this time it will be different.