Chương 34: Chapter 32: Privacy

Privacy Field,

" Naiad spoke, the words whispering with power.

A tingle swept through me, and I shivered, turning to look at the girl as she gave me a soft smile.

"A simple spell. It will make it so nobody can hear our conversation. It disables electronic surveillance too."

I gave her a nervous nod, and she leaned against the wall, folding her hands in front of her.

"First of all, I want to make something clear. I know it can be a bit jarring to get used to at first, but Magical Girls tend to be older than they look. I've been doing this for four years now, making me twenty. Thorina, who looks the youngest of us all, has been a Magical Girl for five, and both Ever and Gild have been working together for six. What I'm trying to say is that we have more experience than our age or demeanors might suggest at first."

I carefully nodded, unsure where this was going exactly. The tension in my chest was already squeezing my lungs tight, and I had to force myself to remember to breathe normally.

"I tell you this to let you know I have quite a bit of experience as a medic, and also a doctor to some extent," Naiad said slowly.

"I've taken classes at the academy, and I know what I'm talking about. I also take what I do very seriously. All Magical Girls who specialize as healers are taught the importance of patient confidentiality, because with our magics, we can see quite a bit of personal information if we want to."

My blood froze, but I kept a neutral expression on my face as she continued.

"Which leads me to my second point. Due to the extensiveness of your injuries, I had to perform magical surgery on you and do what is called a 'full dive,' meaning I had to use the full extent of my observational magics in order to heal you. I did this to save your life, but it was, nonetheless, without your permission. Because of that, I know quite a bit not just about your physical condition, but also your body's past injuries. In that regard, healing magics are very… revealing. I apologize for that."

She gave me a searching look, but I could only stare back at her, my mouth dry. My heart was beating much faster now, and I clutched the blanket tighter around myself. Naiad continued after a moment, keeping her tone soft.

"Now. There's obviously precedence for a situation like this. Magical Girls have gotten injured badly before, and others have had to operate. The general rule of thumb is to just move on. Healers pretend they saw nothing and never share any information. It's a rule that's been upheld for as long as I can remember, and the few cases where it was broken quickly resulted in the healer being punished and ostracized from the Magical Girl community. So, on that part, you have no need to worry.

In fact, I swear on my soul gem that your personal health information will be kept confidential. I will share it with nobody, nor will I make any suggestions or remarks that may lead others to find out the same information.

I will also be signing a geas as soon as possible to cement your privacy. For future reference, this is a request any Magical Girl can make of another who used extensive healing magics on them."

A small weight lifted from my shoulders, but I kept my face a careful, expressionless mask. I'd been in this same situation before, and if I wasn't mistaken…

"However," Naiad continued, concern emerging on her face.

"While I won't share what I've observed, I was hoping you'd be willing to talk about it."

And there it was. I stared at her, and she gave me a friendly smile.

"You're a Magical Girl now. I don't know what you've been going through, but whatever it is, I'm not here to judge. I just want you to know I'm here to help you if you need it, or even if you just want somebody to talk to."

My pulse was beating in my ears now, the thorns of anxiety shooting through my like lightning as I forced myself to remain as still as possible. I took in slow, deep breaths through my nose, trying to ignore the pressure trying to choke me. Making myself swallow the lump in my throat, I looked at Naiad.

She had a gentle, compassionate look on her face. So far, she'd gone out of her way to save my life and to keep my privacy intact. Every interaction I'd observed, she'd been warm and kind, even giving me the blanket my fingers were currently clutching. She'd taken care of me, spent points on getting me pajamas and medicine, and generally just treated me like a normal person.

I had no reason to lie to her.

So, I took a deep breath, forced a smile, and shook my head.

"Thank you for your concern," I recited.

"But everything is fine."

The concern on her face changed to one of worry.

"I don't mean to argue with you, but you have several things going on with your body that tell me things aren't okay. Some of your bones haven't had completely smooth heals from previous fractures, and your weight and size are… concerning."

"Everything's fine," I repeated, flinching at her words as shame stung into me.

"I'm manaborn. I have some health issues because of that, just like other manaborn."

"But that's not-" There was a whip crack of air, and I snapped my head to the side to see Selene tails bristling.

[Magical Girl Naiad,] she said, her normally gentle voice gaining a serrated edge.

[When you came to me with your concerns, I believe I told you I would be monitoring the situation and looking out for the well-being of my Guardian is my duty. If my Guardian wishes to discuss her personal health issues with you, that is one thing, but I believe she has given you her answer. I ask that you respect it.] I stared at Selene with wide eyes before turning back to Naiad. She was likewise frozen for a moment before blinking her eyes a few times. She turned her head away, an ashamed look on her face.

"Of course," Naiad whispered.

"I apologize to both of you. I'm not your doctor, and I shouldn't have tried to pry."

She took a deep, shuddering breath, and when she looked back to me she was smiling beneath the slight sheen in her eyes.

"Alright. How about we go over what treatment I provided you, then?"

I watched her carefully for a moment before giving a hesitant nod, the pressure pounding in my head beginning to lesson. I realized I'd barely been breathing during the short exchange, and I forced my muscles to relax themselves as I took in a deep breath.

"Okay," Naiad gave a wavering smile.

"So. You received quite a multitude of injuries. The major ones were two fractured ribs, a punctured lung, moderate damage to your intestinal tract, and your severed left arm. What complicated things when we arrived was that you were already at your healing limit."

Naiad must have seen my confusion because she stopped herself.

"Healing magic isn't something that can be done infinitely on somebody," she quickly explained.

"As healing mana permeates the body, you become saturated with it to the point that more healing magic has a hard time finding purchase. It's like watering a plant, you can't just keep pouring water into the soil and expect it to continue having the same beneficial effect. Everyone has a set amount of healing they can receive before any further healing becomes much less effective. It isn't impossible to heal somebody over the limit, but you have to spend much more mana and effort to get the same effect."

[People with higher Vitality have larger healing limits as well,] Selene added helpfully, and I frowned.

"But why was I at my healing limit?"

[The healing items you used throughout the day were magical in nature. Because they were only common rarity, also known as tier one, they were relatively ineffective at how much they healed in comparison to how much they raise your healing limit.]

"Generally, items bought from Vaults aren't as effective as magic from a Magical Girl anyway," Naiad added.

"They don't have a caster with stats and Class bonuses to make the healing more efficient. If you ever have a choice, healing magic is almost always better than items."

She let out a breath, seeming to steady herself as she went on.

"So I performed full-dive surgery. What this means is instead of just saying the magic words and letting the spell heal you, I… hmm… it's a little hard to explain. Basically, I narrowed down the scope of my attention to just the inside of your body. It's kind of like I hyper focused, using a microscope to see all the tiny details of your anatomy. This allowed me to not cast healing spells at your body in general, but at the specific injured parts.

I would see a broken bone and begin mending it, or a severed vein and stitch it back up. For every small tear or break in your body, I had to figure out the best healing spell and what intensity to cast it at all while focusing on keeping your vitals stable.

I worked at a micro level instead of a macro one, working past your healing limit by casting the spells and focusing them to just heal one small issue instead of just throwing a spell at your body and trying to brute force it. Does that make sense so far?"

I nodded, but it was hard for me to imagine the scale at which she must have been acting. With how many injuries I had, she must have been fighting a miniature war of her own.

"That sounds… complicated," I hedged, and she gave a lopsided grin.

"It's not called surgery for nothing. The full dive part comes from how much attention it takes from a healer to do it properly. In terms of mana and healing limit efficiency, it's much better to do the micro-level healing, but we often don't get that chance in combat. Anyway, that should give you an idea of how I went about healing you.

I managed to fix all of the injuries you received, but it took the entire week to avoid putting too much of a drain on your body while I fully regenerated the damage to your lung and intestines. Organ damage always takes longer to repair properly than something like a broken bone or even a severed limb.

We decided it would be best to keep you out of a hospital and away from prying eyes partly because I'm a high enough level for my magic to easily be capable of taking care of an unconscious individual for extended periods of time."

She paused for a second, glancing away.

"I'm just below level 200, meaning I can cast tier two spells. That means I'm capable of healing past injuries that didn't heal quite right, including scars. I didn't touch any of those, because I didn't have your approval. If you want… I could heal them for you. No questions asked."

My throat tightened, and I quickly shook my head, not trusting my words.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Well… I think that covers everything I wanted to go over with you. All your injuries should be fully healed, but if you have any problems like tingling or phantom pains, please let me know. I have quite a bit of experience doing these things so I don't expect any issues, but it never hurts to be careful. I can remove the IV now, if you'd like. It's a Zenith mix of fortifying elements that's given to people undergoing major magical healing. Nutritional supplements and things like that."

I nodded, and she walked over, gently grabbing my arm and going to work. Feeling the IV slide out of my skin was always a strange sensation, but I managed to suppress a shiver until she finished. She grabbed the IV pole and started wheeling it out, stopping at the door to look back at me.

"Um… If you ever change your mind about your scars or even just want to talk… I'm here. Okay?"

Giving her another strained nod, she smiled back before opening the door and leaving. A second later, there was a soft popping sound, and the faint tingling sensation of the privacy spell disappeared. I let out a long breath, my muscles slowly relaxing.

[She has a good heart and means well,] Selene said, and I flinched.

"I know, but…"

[But meaning well does not always translate into being able to help.]

"I don't need help," I shot back.

"People just… They wouldn't understand."

There was a long pause, Selene saying nothing. Something in me tore open at that, at how she'd continued to respect my boundaries, how she'd been with me through everything without a complaint. Selene never had a choice about being bound to me and having her life tied to mine. And yet she still kept being everything I didn't know I needed.

It wasn't fair to her, but I didn't know how to fix that.

"Selene," I thought to her.

"I… My circumstances… I don't really know how to explain everything. I just… When we have to go home, you'll see."

[Completely reasonable,] Selene agreed.

[A complicated situation is sometimes easier observed than explained. It feels slightly unfair to you that we are bound together, and that gives you no choice but to reveal things to me.] A throb of pain made my heart ache, and I shuddered.

"I should be saying that to you…"

[Nonsense. You didn't ask to share your life with another entity. As such, I will endeavor to keep your privacy in mind as much as possible. We haven't had time to set proper, clear boundaries yet, though I think I have a good understanding of what you prefer. Maybe we can go over those later tonight, or, at least, before you return home?]

"That sounds good," I let out a sigh of relief, and Selene's tails swished excitedly.

[Excellent. Now, how about you open up the folders to see what Error Machina sent. Then we can begin constructing your Astral Shift!] I nodded, the excitement in her tone infectious enough to make me smile softly. I would be lying to say I wasn't a little bit excited myself. I was finally going to start my path as a proper Magical Girl, getting full access to my stats and Aura. After that, I could unlock my Signature, my Grimoire, my Class, my Skills…

There was a lot coming up to look forward to, and it had ignited a small spark inside me I hadn't felt in a while. It was a dull, flickering thing, a tempered excitement that I could quickly smother if things didn't work out. I'd found it was best to keep my emotions pulled back on that front, letting myself be pleasantly surprised by things rather than let down. For some reason, though, I was finding it hard to fully rein myself in.

I opened up the folder to find a single page of paper, and I started reading it.

Dearest Kōhai Yo! It's Error Machina, in case Everglaive didn't tell you. She's good people, though, so I'm sure she already let you know.

Anyway, I'm happy you made it out okay. I know you were in pretty bad shape when Fantasy Fatale found you, but I'm glad they were able to heal you. Physically, at least. Listen, most Magical Girls have a hard time after they receive their first serious injuries. They're used to their Auras or stat advantages protecting them, and then they experience mortality for the first time and… yeah. It's rough. I hope you take it easy for a while, let yourself settle and find your calling.

The world's your oyster now, and you can be pretty much anything you want. Plus, you get to do it with magic added on top! No matter what path you choose, count on me to have your back. I wouldn't really call what happened with the generator and shielding station "working together" as I couldn't use any of my magics to help you, so I would enjoy the opportunity to properly work with you sometime and show off a little so you know I'm not all talk.

Speaking of what happened, I wanted to talk about your Death Wish quickly. One of the provisions you asked for was to let your classmate Lily know what you did and what happened. Now, I took this as a "if the worst case scenario happens to me" sort of thing, so no messages or anything like that have been sent just yet. If you'd like, I can still carry through, but it seemed wiser to wait and just ask. Just let me know, my contact information is included at the bottom.

For the rest of the Death Wish rewards, I'm sure your Familiar probably already explained what's going on. If not, ask them. They're better at explaining that kind of stuff than I am.

Finally, there's one last thing I need to cover with you. One of the services the Zenith provide to Magical Guardians is a sort of monitoring program. Basically, they use their advanced technology and magic to monitor the internet and technology in general for any photos or videos that might be harmful to a Guardian. Whether it's embarrassing, a breach of privacy, or just downright cruel, they try to find stuff like that and delete it.

This is a protection service that doesn't just cover you while you're in your Astral Shift by the way, it also extends to your personal identity.

With that explained, a video was found from before you became a Guardian, recorded on a cellphone by a classmate of yours. Per the Zenith accords, a human operator has to review the footage and confirm its deletion to prevent the Zenith from just erasing any footage of a Guardian committing crimes or something problematic like that. It's kind of stupid if you ask me, because the Zenith could just be doing that anyway, and we'd be none the wiser, but whatever.

The point is, a censorship request came in regarding the video they found during your vetting process. Seeing as I already know your personal identity, it made the most sense for me to be the one to watch it. After reviewing it, I agreed with the Zenith assessment and the video has now been deleted from the cellphone and computer it was found on. I've also signed the appropriate geas to keep everything secret, so you're good to go!

Again, it's good to hear you're safe. I'd love the opportunity to work with you in the future, and I'm excited to see where you end up going. You've got more heart and guts than some of the best Guardians out there. If you ever need anything, let me know. Even if you don't, shoot me a text sometime. I'm always down to just hang out and play Rebellion… or any other myriad of games, really. Gotta' do something when nothing is going on in this control room.

Anyhow, that's it from me. Good luck, bunny kōhai! I'll be cheering you on!

Go get 'em, Error Machina Slowly, I set down the letter, taking slow breaths that cut into my lungs. A jagged, throbbing pain whispered on the shadow of each exhale, and I shivered.

Error saw the video.

But… He didn't mention anything? Beyond the explanation of what censorship requests were, it was barely a footnote. He told me he deleted it, then immediately moved on. It was like he was just pretending he never saw anything at all. Was it because he's done stuff like this before, so he has experience ignoring things like that?

It was weird, but then again, so was Naiad's response. Both of them were trying their best to respect my boundaries and privacy, but they really had no reason to. They were Magical Guardians. If they wanted, they could barge into my personal life and make a mess of everything. It's what I expected any normal person to do, really. So far, though…

"I don't understand," I told Selene.

"He doesn't seem to care about the video. Why? Wait, do you know about the video?"

[I do. It was caught during your vetting process. That hardly matters as I assume you will talk to me about it when or if you feel comfortable. As for Error Machina… He is a professional operator and elite Guardian. He undoubtedly has much experience dealing with these sorts of situations. While he may have seen the contents of the video, he is endeavoring to maintain the polite fiction that he never has, refusing to let it color his actions or emotions. He's trying his best to move on and continue treating you as he normally would. Many operators struggle to achieve this level of compartmentalization. It is a credit to his character that he is attempting this, and even more so that he left you a way to avoid him if you feel uncomfortable by the fact he saw the video.]

"He did?"

I blinked in surprise.

[He sent a letter. He could very easily have told you this in person or over a call, but I believe he knew the contents might make future interaction awkward or uncomfortable. By sending this letter, he informed you of what you needed to know while giving you an easy way to avoid him. If you never contact him, it would be a trivial matter to never interact with him again.] Slowly sliding the letter back into the envelope, I picked it up and set it on the bedside table.

The pain in my chest had faded to a dull ache, and I sighed.

"This isn't normal, is it?"

I asked.

"Error, Naiad, and Everglaive have all been extremely nice to me. The rest of Fantasy Fatale, too. It feels… It feels like they know exactly what they should do to make me feel the most comfortable, even if they are all going about it in different ways."

[No, this isn't normal. In fact, many other Guardians would already be intruding on your personal life by this point, even if it was only minutely.]

"Seriously?"

I felt my eyes widen.

[Yes. It is common courtesy and an unspoken rule among Guardians to stay out of one another's personal lives. However, as pointed out by Everglaive and Naiad, it is very easy to develop a main character complex being a Guardian. Many would think it worth breaking the rules in order to "help." Even if it meant making you angry, they would tell themselves it was worth it. In truth, they might only be creating a more messy, chaotic situation that they can justify by saying it is at least being resolved. This comes back to the same reasoning the situation of Dark Magical Girls is kept secret.]

"Then… Why aren't Error and Fantasy Fatale doing that?"

Selene paused for a second, her tails curling downward.

[It's mostly experience. Being a Guardian as many years as they have, they know better than to interfere with another Guardian's personal life. There is also a reason why I was more relaxed at the shelter when we learned you would be talking to Error Machina. He… He has some experience in the matters of Darks. By extension, Everglaive does too, though not to the same degree.] I looked at her in surprise, and she quickly shook her head.

[I would like to not say more. It is not my story to tell, and even if some of the particulars of the incident are available as public knowledge, I do not feel comfortable giving the information out.]

"No, that's fair," I quickly agreed.

"He deserves his privacy as much as I do."

I sat back, quiet while I thought about the implications. As unlucky as I'd been with the Death Wish, it felt like I was finally getting a break on some of the aftermath. Naiad had healed me, but was keeping patient confidentiality sacred. Everglaive was giving me advice, explaining things to me, and even going out of her way to make sure I even wanted to be a Magical Girl. Error Machina had found, seen, and deleted Katie's blackmail video and then promptly pretended nothing ever happened.

Wait.

The blackmail video was gone.

I let out a weak little laugh, and Selene glanced at me, tails curling with concern.

"Sorry," I sent to her.

"I just realized I've been looking for motivations and angles so much I almost missed the fact the video was deleted."

Selene dipped her head in acknowledgment, and I giggled as a weight was lifted from me.

Before this, I was clueless about what I was going to do about that video. Ever since Katie took it, every day of school had been a fearful hell as I wondered if she was going to show it to more people. I'd already been lucky enough Katie and her group had made the wrong assumptions, but I was under no illusions what could happen if the wrong person saw it. Or if Lily saw it.

I sighed, letting some of the unconscious tension in my muscles bleed away. Lily. I wanted to see her again. It felt like an eternity since we separated to save Brian and his sister. There was so much to talk about… like the fact I was a Magical Girl now.

A twinge of discomfort and anxiety shot through me, and I felt the relief inside me hardening to worry. Quickly, that worry gained a razor edge, my breath hitching for a moment. The very thought of telling her made my heart begin to race, my muscles coiling with tension. Claws squeezed around my lungs, and it was suddenly difficult to breathe.

Why… Why does the thought of telling her scare me so much?

[Mai?] Selene's voice made me jump, and I turned to see her looking at me with a concerned expression, her tails still except the occasional twitch.

"S-sorry. Just lost in thought."

Selene gave me a slow nod, her tails resuming their swaying after a moment.

[As much as I would like to give you more time to process all the information you've received, I do believe Everglaive and her team are waiting for you. Perhaps it would be best to begin the process of creating your Astral Shift?]

"Right…"

I nodded, taking a shaky breath.

"Um, what do I do, exactly?"

[Lay down on the bed and close your eyes. I will take care of initiating the process.] I went to follow Selene's instructions, then paused. Quickly getting up, I went to the bedroom door and locked it. I wasn't sure why there was a separate lock for the door when this was a hotel, but this was my first time in a hotel, so maybe that was normal. It wasn't like the lock would stop any of the Magical Girls from getting into the room if they really wanted to, but it still made me feel better anyway.

Returning to the bed, I followed Selene's instructions, laying down and making myself comfortable before I closed my eyes.

[Astral Dress Construction Initialized.] [Mana Resonance: 127%] [Soul Gem Stability: 100%] [ERROR: Grimoire desynchronization detected.] [Analyzing… Source found: Unawakened Signature.] [Calculating… Minimal divergence expected.] [WARNING: Astral Dress may require adjustments after Grimoire and Signature Awakening.] [Continuing.] [Testing Stat integration… Complete.] [Reformating Reflection Room… Co̴̜̓mpl̷͍̈́ete.] [Arranging Creation Room Format 07… Complete.] [Loading Familiar Suggestions… Complete.] [Beginning Astral Dress Construction.] A rush of text flowed past my closed eyelids, and I was barely able to keep up with it. When it finished, I felt a weird, refreshing sensation roll through my body almost like a summer breeze on a hot day.

[You can open your eyes now,] Selene told me, and I did.

I let out a gasp, sitting up on the bed as I looked around. My surroundings had changed from the hotel room to what I could only describe as the world's largest clothing shop. Rows and rows of clothing racks surrounded me within a modern looking store of white tile floors and marble pillars. The store itself was multileveled, escalators on either side of me leading to the next floor while a simple full-length mirror stood in front of the bed.

[In front of the mirror, please.] Pushing myself from the bed, I walked to the mirror, hesitating before I looked into it. I appeared the same as I did when I last looked at myself. Selene hopped up onto a stool next to me, tails swaying excitedly.

[Excellent. Now, a few points of information. Your Astral Dress is free to customize as you see fit. You can change its appearance once per day, but staying consistent is important to establishing a brand image. When you activate your Astral Shift, any clothing you are currently wearing will turn into mana and be stored while your own mana weaves together your outfit. As such, you will be selecting everything you want to wear in your Magical Girl form from undergarments to accessories. Some items you buy from the Gate can also be "attached" to your Astral Shift, essentially storing them and then being retrieved with your transformation. For instance, you could have a gun holster as part of your outfit and put a handgun you purchase inside of it. When you deactivate your shift, your handgun would disappear with your outfit and safely be stored, reappearing with your outfit the next time you transformed. Do you understand me so far?] I nodded, and Selene continued.

[Besides choosing clothes, you can also make minor alterations to your physical appearance. Everglaive's pointed ears, Gildscale's dragon scales, and Naiad's aqua skin are examples. Other popular options include cat or fox ears, and some Guardians even have tails. Your hair length is completely adjustable and may be changed to any style you wish. As you reach a higher level, more dramatic cosmetic options become possible.]

"What about my eyes?" I asked.

"Most of the Guardians I've seen have pupils that look different."

[Your pupils will automatically change to reflect some part of your nature as a Magical Girl, but you won't have a choice. I'm afraid you'll have to wear contacts if you wish them to appear differently. The same goes for eye color. Eyes are the windows to the soul, and as such, are not something that can be naturally adjusted. I expect your eye colors to remain the same and your pupils to change to crescent moons if the symbology adorning me is any indicator. We can check in a moment once the room finishes settling. For now, I was wondering if you had any ideas in mind for your outfit or Magical Girl name.] I faltered, rubbing my hands against my pajama pants nervously. I wasn't really big on buying clothes. My only real concerns were if things were cheap and fit me decently.

"Um… Not really. Gildscale seemed to know what he was talking about, but… I don't really know what I could make look good."

[That's completely fine,] Selene said, excitement building in her voice.

[It just means we'll have to try all manner of combinations. This entire store contains an endless multitude of options, but I understand picking items one at a time may be a bit overwhelming. If you'd like, we can begin with some completed outfit ideas I've developed and work backwards from there, replacing things that don't work until we achieve something ideal.]

"Okay?" I said, slightly unsure.

"How does that work?"

[Simply hold still a moment, and we can look at the first outfit idea.] An involuntary yelp escaped me as the sensation of my clothes abruptly disappeared, and I looked down to see they'd transformed into motes of violet light in the outline of my pajamas. As I watched, the outline shifted, the light flowing like water into a new shape. The energy settled quickly, and with a flash, manifested back into physical clothes.

I let out a sigh as the glowing light disappeared, peering closely as the outfit revealed itself to me and- I let out something between a squeak and scream as my hands flew to cover myself. I fell into a crouch, trying to hide as much of my body as possible.

"Selene!" I squeak-screeched at her, my entire face burning as I shot a look at my Familiar. She sat on the stool innocently, tails flicking with something like amusement.

[Is there an issue?] She asked innocently, and I glared at her as I hunched further in on myself.

[I think this outfit looks quite cute on you! It even has an animal theme to make you more distinct!]

"I don't care how cute it looks!" I hissed." I am not going to wear a bunny girl outfit!"