Chương 84: 84, loop 2 part 38

The explosion was everything I could have asked for and more. Blinding light bubbled at the edges of the tree. The wood crackled and sizzled in the instant before everything went insane. And then, all at once, the rest of the red tethers connecting to the forty-five Flag clones burst into red and black radiance. An entire orchestra of pops, bams, and bangs coalesced into a cacophony so loud I felt my eardrums pop. And then the shockwave hit. My head snapped backward.

Something hit me across the back, and the ground shot away beneath my feet. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't hear. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. My body rejected every signal I sent, even though all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball. Suddenly, I was through the cloud of dust. Still moving. And I knew I was about to die. I'd land headfirst in the mud and snap my neck. But before I hit, I heard a muffled sound that was a lot like [Bounce]. As predicted, I hit the ground headfirst.

But instead of dying, I magically [Bounce] d back up. Instead of the pain and death I'd been expecting, I somersaulted through the air end over end. I managed to get a good breath of air before gravity reasserted its hold on me, and I skipped across the ground once again. Oh. I knew this spell. I came down on my side and [Bounce] d again. And somersaulted again. And promptly blacked out. In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to run into the midst of a battle and shout Explosion! at the top of my lungs.

Which, I mean, I technically didn't do, but the end result was the same. My vision and hearing returned at the same time. Everything was blurry and my ears were ringing. My head felt woozy as I tried to sit up. Hey, wait a second. I thought I got rid of all the clones. There were three Flag clones in front of me. I needed to reach out and stop them before they got to Finn or attacked me. And then I felt more than saw the green glow of another Finn masterpiece. My vision cleared immediately, and the ringing stopped.

"What happened?" I said, still trying to clear my groggy head. Oh! Hi, Lazlo! I'm pretty sure Finn was using magic to bounce you around like a ball. It looked like fun. Can I try? I rubbed my aching head and said, "Trust me, buddy, you don't want to experience that. It fucking hurt." I tried to get up, or at least get to a place where I could float in the air without willing it, but my back and shoulder ached, and I gave up. My senses flooded into me, and I tried to see if I was still in one piece.

The first thing I noticed was that there was mud everywhere. It had somehow gotten under my shirt, inside my collar, and even in my ears. My clothes were stuck to my skin. Sweat was practically pouring out of me. I couldn't tell how much damage there was in the extreme heat. And I knew that there was at least some. But I tested my entire body, my hands, my fingers, my toes, my chest, and everything moved the way it was supposed to. Thank Therumia for small mercies. I really should have just let Finn ward me.

Who cared if somebody else got hurt? I definitely didn't, not at all. No sirree. [Bounce] was quickly becoming my least favorite spell I'd ever heard of. Sure, it was lifesaving. But the whiplash I could do without. And that ward would have stopped me from experiencing it yet again.

"That was too many fucking bounces," I said, rubbing my aching head. Then Finn collapsed to the ground beside me, where he leaned against me for support, like I wasn't the one who'd just been turned into the human equivalent of a [Magiball]. I even had to brace myself against falling over, which under normal circumstances I would never do. But the guy looked more beat up than I did.

"You okay, man?" He nodded but took several deep breaths. I looked at him sideways.

"Just give me a second, I promise I'll be fine." I didn't quite understand why he was so bent out of shape, but he had moved pretty quick to defend Axe earlier. I shrugged and just gave him time to catch his breath. When I knew he was ready for my complaints, I started in."Never cast that fucking spell on me ever again."

"Would you rather I let you hit the ground?"

"Dude, I did hit the ground. Six fucking times. I hit the ground so hard I got whiplash. It knocked me out."

"Wait, is that what happened?" Finn replied.

"I thought it was the explosion."

"Oh, yeah, that would have killed me, sure. But then your sad excuse for a spell gave me whiplash, man. Definitely, definitely your fault." He rolled his eyes.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"I'd be more grateful if just existing didn't hurt so much." I let out a yelp as he pulled me into a hug.

"I thought you were gonna die, man. Don't do that to me ever again." He paused before adding, "Please." His voice had gotten real serious in a way he rarely spoke to me. If I weren't lazy, I probably would have opened up more often. But as it was, he was squeezing me pretty tight, and I wanted to remove his hand from my shoulder. I decided to just let him have his moment. You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Thanks, Finn. I mean it." I looked up to survey the damage. The explosion had torn a giant fucking tunnel through the ceiling. I followed [Wideview] up as far as I could see, but there was no end in sight. Somewhere up there was the dungeon soul, and that was something I had no intention of crossing paths with ever again. There was no way my tiny spell had killed it. Not with how powerful the dungeon had seemed to be so far. Especially since it hadn't even killed me.

On the other hand, there wasn't much left of the tree. The explosion had ripped it apart. Several enormous sections were torn and tossed aside. Branches, bark, leaves, and random debris were scattered over the already war-torn plains. New fires popped up where the old ones had burned away. Smoke filled the area the way water filled a glass—drifting across the wreckage almost unbidden, but trapped with few avenues for escape. It hurt to breathe now that the air was so thick.

I was too tired to even use [Gust] to clear out our surroundings. Part of the tree had landed wood side up, sticking out of the mud. It was taller than even my golem tower, standing on end. Its wood was mostly burnt. And the sap had practically evaporated. Farther away from us, another branch rolled by and dropped out of sight down into the basin. It hurt to breathe because smoke was covering the area. But it just wasn't worth the effort to move with how much the rest of my body ached.

The spells had cleared out the clones, too. There were forty-five uniform puddles of some strange red liquid where they had once stood. There could have been less, but I wasn't going to bother counting. Flag's tether was as it should've been. No red poisoning at all. He was back to my chipper time travel companion. Axe appeared beside us, his enlarging spell finally dissipating. I thought he would be despondent over not being able to kill things, but he was looking positively ecstatic. For an axe, at least.

Flag leaned in close to me. Are you looking at my hands? I like to look at them, too. They have mud in them now. It's neat! He held his hands in front of my face, as if letting me inspect them.

"Yeah, buddy, you're filthy." Can Finn fix it?

"Probably, but I think he needs a break. Considering he's crushing my ribs right now." Finn was still leaning against me. I could've pushed him off, but I let him rest there. I didn't even think I would've been able to move my arms if I actually wanted to at this point. Flag planted a hand on his leg, leaving behind a muddy print. Laz, look. The mud made my hand. Isn't that cool? I sighed.

"Yes, bud, that's cool." He placed his hand in a different spot. Again and again, until the mud stopped leaving handprints. Aw, it stopped. It was clear to me Flag was back to his old antics. So at least one thing had gone right. A loud, echoing crack came from nearby. Axe had seemingly teleported away. He was now merrily chopping wood. I don't know what I expected from him. I thought he was happy about our victory.

"Axe. We won. It's dead."

"I know. I am celebrating." He raised his blade, jumped into the air, and slammed the blade down again on the thick branch from earlier. The split tree flew apart, several pieces landing at our feet. Finn gave me a look that said he was worried about Axe. I shrugged.

"He's happy. I don't see why either of us needs to do anything." He kept chopping through the bits of dead tree. And then, as the smoke finally started to clear, I spotted it glinting in the distance. Our chest. It was so far away. And I didn't want to move my legs. But we had some golems. Man, Axe wasn't that busy.

"Hey, Axe!" I shouted.

"See that gold thing behind you? Can you bring it to us?" And just like that, Axe picked up the chest and made his way over. Axe set the chest down on the ground in front of us. The ground sank under its weight. I was kind of shocked at that. I had been expecting it to be pretty light. Thankfully, it was close enough that I wouldn't have to move much. Honestly, it was so close, I would just have to shove Finn away and lean slightly forward. It was still just as gaudy as I remembered.

Made of too much gold, with a ridiculous number of images. But that gaudy beauty had been tarnished by a thick layer of brown mud. I wiped a thumb across the chest's latch, clearing away the mud. It, too, was made entirely of gold. Whoever had created the thing hadn't wanted to leave anyone with the impression he was cheaping out. Finn finally shifted his weight off me, standing to get a better look.

"I really hope my greatest desire is in here, because I am fucking done with this place."

"Personally, I'm hoping for a bed," I sighed.

"That way, we can sit here and rest for a while before we have to go somewhere else." He rolled his eyes at me.

"How the fuck would you fit a bed in a treasure chest? Besides, half this room is on fire, man. I'd like to go somewhere with, I don't know, clear air, maybe." I shrugged.

"I guess. But I want a nap."

"You're always wanting naps, man. There is more to life than sleeping."

"Sure, Finn, but we did just beat the dungeon boss and survive an explosion. So I think you can cut me a little slack here. Besides, we can just get our golems to carry us out of here, so you don't even have to do anything."

"Yeah, that's fair." Axe turned toward us.

"I will be unable to carry you. I need the freedom to kill trees."

"Axe, I think you're done."

"I want more."

"Dude, enjoy your victory. We won."

"More." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Worst-case, you can drop us if you need to fight something, okay? How about that?"

"That is reasonable."

"Don't encourage him, Finn," I said, glaring daggers at him.

"He'll drop us into the flames and claim there was a dangerous bush or something." I laughed and then decided curiosity was finally worth sating. I worked the latch and heaved. But it didn't move at all. Finn laughed. So either I was more damaged than I thought and my body just wasn't informing me, or the fucking thing was heavy. I nudged Finn and had Axe help us, too. Together, we pushed the lid back on all six of its ridiculous hinges. There were four things inside.

Three of them were what looked like scrolls on a yellowed parchment paper. wThey were so old they almost seemed like they would collapse into dust if we even dared to continue looking at them. And then the fourth thing. Well, the fourth thing got me excited.