Chương 59: 59 Loop 2, Part 13

The trip back to the Keeper's study was easier than I thought it would be. If anything, I expected her to drag me around random hallways for a couple of hours out of sheer anger. But the moment we started moving, the Archive rearranged itself around us. Like always, walls slid open ahead and sealed behind.

"Is she watching us?" Finn said, uncertain.

"She's always watching us. It's literally her only leisure activity." Yet again, all the world's problems caused by nobody knowing how to relax. Axe dragged the netted dome behind him the entire way back, the gold shell sliding easily over the stone.

"This is beneath me," Axe said.

"I am a weapon of war, not a mule."

"You know, for somebody who's not a mule, you sure are making a lot of mule noises." I laughed. Flag came up behind Axe and patted him on the shoulder.

"You're the strongest one here. That's why you got the job. I wish I could have had it. I love holding things." The study door was ajar when we arrived. There was no bed of Frollart ashes awaiting us. Nor were there any living Frollarts gathered around the door waiting, either. Just warm lamplight, the smell of old books, and the Keeper floating above her desk.

"My, my. You have been busy," she said as we crossed into the room.

"We found my uncle. And now that the biggest worry of my day is over, I can happily fulfill your quest." I grabbed the golem supplies I'd nicked on our way down here. I presented them to the Keeper by placing them on the floor in front of her.

"So I see. And now you have brought him to me. It seems like it was an interesting night." Axe hauled my uncle into the middle of the room and dropped him next to the golem body. After examining the frame, the Keeper drifted over and circled my uncle slowly, her pages parting and closing as she went.

"The ward is his own design," she said.

"Very good workmanship. Nothing I have can pass through it, and I am certain your attempts met with defeat as well…" She trailed off as she finished her circle.

"Which means you wish to leave him here."

"He needs to be somewhere safe," I said, "and this is the safest place I know. Nothing's getting through your ward. The way I figure it, that makes him twice as safe."

"It is perhaps the safest room in all of Restralia," she agreed.

"This is not to boast, but it is part of the reason I am trapped here. My enemies did not want me to be harmed, as much as they needed me kept prisoner." Though I wanted to hear more, she didn't elaborate.

"I will endeavor to do my best." She settled her pages.

"However, I will be requiring a new deal."

"Do you need me to set up your golem?" I asked. I knew full well she was capable of doing it herself, but it wouldn't do to play my hand quite yet.

"No, no. I will do it myself," she said.

"It's genuinely no trouble," I lied.

"You're a book, and books don't have hands."

"I have ways to manage my own soul." Her pages fluttered, as if she was offended by my statement.

"You intend to tether yourself to my soul. Do you not?"

"No. I don't want that to happen. I promise." She floated up next to me, inspecting my face closer for the truth.

"I have been bound to this room for longer than you can imagine by a binding I never consented to, keyed to my soul. I am not allowed to leave this cage under my own power. And it was a soul bind that trapped me here." Her pages stilled.

"However, I hope, with this golem…" She trailed off, lost in thought. The moment passed, and she got to work. Last time through, I hadn't actually seen her create her own body. So watching her make the golem was kind of amazing. It took none of the time my craftsmanship did, and before I knew it, all at once, the golem activated.

"So," the golem said. The voice was hers, but rougher at the ends, like there was gravel in it.

"This is what I sound like now? I am not sure I like it."

"It'll settle," I said.

"Give it time."

"I, for one, think it is a majestic voice," Flag added. She looked down at her hands and turned them over, flexing her fingers one at a time. The stone digits ground softly against each other. And then she walked to the far books, drew out a book that was leaning crooked, and fixed its placement on the shelf.

"That has bothered me for almost forty years." Finn made a small sound, but covered his mouth and pretended it was a cough.

"I remember my first day with a body," Flag said.

"It was a great day. You should look at the top of that desk. It's fun." She kept moving through the room, tidying up and fixing all the damage Vex had caused.

"That is better," she said when she finished.

"I have grown tired of repairing things through magic. There is an elegant simplicity in hard work." I shuddered. Something about the Keeper rubbed me the wrong way, and I wasn't sure what it was. She finished her cleaning and then turned toward the study door. I almost wanted to stop her. Instead, I watched as she strode to the doorway before being blown back. Just like the last time.

"I'm sorry, but the ward on this room isn't keyed to your book. It's keyed to your soul. That golem won't free you." She stood very still.

"And you know this how, exactly?" This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

"A book keeps many secrets," I said cryptically.

"Why can't I do the same?" The silence stretched. She lifted her hand as if to do something. Whether her anger was aimed at me or at the door keeping her locked inside, I didn't know. She fixed that problem quickly.

"So you knew before you even offered me this body, boy?" she said, anger mounting in her voice. Guess the anger was aimed at me, then.

"You. You betrayed me. You made me pay a price for something you knew was not freedom." I didn't think this through, did I? I put up my hands in a placating gesture.

"I wasn't offering you freedom. In fact, I never meant to promise such a thing. This was more about giving you a real body again. I'm sorry if there was a flaw in the plan." She looked down at her stone hands, which were still shaking. Then she let out an unnaturally long sigh—at least, unnaturally long for her. And then she dropped her hands.

"I was not always a book, Lazlo Yarrow." She paused.

"Just because you did not do this on purpose does not mean I was not betrayed. It does not do well to betray my trust. Do not let this happen again." She walked back to my uncle in the middle of the room, and she settled down beside him to meditate.

"Go and rest," she said.

"The two of you are clearly casting on little more than fumes. And whatever you intend to do next will expect more of both of you. Your uncle will be safe here. I promise. I never betray my trust."

"Thank you, Keeper," I said, trying hard to keep my tone apologetic.

"Do not thank me yet," she said.

"For when you return, we will discuss our next deal. Because you came down here looking for a way to save your uncle. And just like how my goal has not been met, I do not think you have met yours." She put a hand on my uncle's dome.

"But I may know where you can find that solution." We could have slept in the Keeper's cramped room, but I gracefully accepted the out. She opened her walls and led us into the corridor before she sealed the wall shut behind us. We could have just left through the door, but this loop… she had a flair for the dramatic. Something was clearly on Finn's mind. I could see it through [Wideview] as much as I could feel it in the air. He made it about five steps before he did something about it.

"You knew she'd get thrown back, didn't you?"

"I did. Are you just now realizing I've been telling the truth?"

"I just… I don't…" He shook his head.

"This doesn't make sense, Laz."

"No, but it doesn't need to. Just accept it and move on. We've wasted so much time. And effort, and you know how I feel about effort. I really have done this before, Finn. This week. Multiple times through."

"That's not the part I'm stuck on anymore." Finn stopped.

"Laz. I… I guess I do believe you." Oh. That was news. I wish I had paid more attention to the part that finally convinced him. But I guess he hadn't really been arguing with me since we'd made it to the library.

"Then what's bothering you?" I said.

"I don't get how you're still standing. You should be dead." He paused as if trying to let the point land. But I didn't even react. He rolled his eyes at me and continued.

"This morning, when I cast [Mana Sense] on you, you made a joke about a new passive. But I don't think this is something we should joke about. There's something wrong with your soul. I let it slide then because you'd just woken up and I figured I'd get the real answer later. But you still haven't told me." I kept my chair moving, working my way toward the room with the couches.

"You want to know what's going on?" I said.

"Of course I do. I want to know the cause. I want to know the name. I want to know if there's anything I can do to help you."

"I don't really get it, either. But when I woke up, there was a new line underneath my passives called [Soul Sickness]. And it's level 1. I don't think there's any way to get rid of it." My voice broke a little. Because [Soul Sickness] and [Mana Sickness] were very close together in my mind.

"Soul sickness." He turned the words over in his mind.

"That's nothing I've ever heard of. But it doesn't sound good."

"No, it doesn't," I said. Who knew what the consequences of it were? But at least it was only level 1. It was easy to lie to Finn. I did it all the time when he wasn't putting in the effort to care. But the problem was the effort required to maintain those lies. Most of the time, it wasn't worth it, unless I was going for a joke. I built my entire personality around avoiding effort where possible, after all. So as funny as it could be, I decided to just go with the truth.

"I think I told you that Kalin summons a dragon. Well, it isn't a normal dragon. This dragon uses soul magic in its shadow breath. It hit me in the chest, and it didn't burn. Not exactly. Instead, I think it ate through my soul. I think it's what killed me." His face fell as realization struck.

"How did it hit you, exactly? You never really let things hit you."

"The first time through this week, the dragon killed you." My voice broke again. I stared into thin air, not blinking.

"And then my uncle collapsed from mana exhaustion. And I broke, man. I couldn't handle it. I somehow ran to the library and found a book that showed me how to use [Soul Tether]. That's the spell I used on Flag and my uncle. And somehow I ended up looping through time." I made myself keep going.

"And this most recent loop, you were standing over Professor Frost, of all people, as she lay dying on the ground. And the dragon reared up and sent its breath right at you. But I couldn't let that happen again. Never again. I jumped and pushed you out of the way, and then the next thing I knew, I was in the infirmary." I shrugged.

"The loop normally starts at breakfast. I'm asleep in front of you, and you wake me up by giving me my plate. Like we always do on Mondays." Instead of responding, Finn crossed the space between us in three steps and awkwardly hugged me. It was awkward because I was floating in the air, sitting in my chair, and he had to kind of dog-paddle up to me.

"I'm sorry," he said into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Laz."

"For what? You didn't do anything. Other than make me work extra, I guess." I patted his back.

"You know what? No, fuck you for making me work." He laughed. Then he said, "I mean it, though. I don't know how long you've been carrying this around. But it's clear it's been weighing on you, and I didn't exactly make things better by calling you concussed." I patted him twice more on the back, hoping he'd get the signal that I was good and we didn't need to hug more. He didn't take it. This was my life now.

"Oh," Flag said, drifting closer.

"Is this hugging? I've seen hugging before. Finn, you are doing an excellent hug. I would like a hug." Before I could explain why that probably wasn't a good idea, Flag turned around, spread both arms wide, and threw himself at Axe in a pretty funny parallel of what Finn had just done. Their stone bodies clapped against each other with a tremendous thud. Finn let go of me instantly to watch.

"Oh, no," he said. He had a hard time not laughing.

"Hello, Axe," Flag said, clamped firmly around the axe-headed golem.

"I'm hugging you. This is what friends do."

"Unhand me. Unhand me. What is this? Why is this happening? Is this a grapple? Why am I being grappled?" I doubled over with laughter.

"I have killed men for less," Axe replied.

"Release me. Release me."

"Flag, release the hug." Flag released the hug and he tried to frown, but the mannequin looked more like it was deflating than anything else. It looked so odd, but I didn't question it.

"Okay," I said once I trusted myself not to break down into laughter.

"It's clear we're all delirious. Let's get to bed before somebody gets decapitated again."