Chương 75: Chapter 29: Where There’s Smoke…

Last call was as chaotic and torrid as you could imagine. It had all the sweaty desperation of a packed metal dive with the inexperienced lack of decorum that typified a college bar. Something of a free-for-all ensued, the shoutings, pointings, and haphazard pourings of which lasted all of five minutes. With every spare, home-brought flagon I filled, I urged people to leave and not stick around.

Meanwhile, Lady Talia kicked people out with more urgency and force, like a bouncer who got into the profession solely because of her anger issues. She wasn't exactly heartless, but she didn't need to display the same level of hospitality as we did, since she didn't work at the Breakwater. Hospitality. Maybe that was a reliable skill for me. I filed it away.

The halfling trio that had started a rendition of "Top Half or Bottom Half"—a surprisingly offensive, interactive song about mermaid anatomy—couldn't even finish their second verse. Lady Talia yelled over their raucous performance. The stentorian boom of her commands nearly silenced them all. Nearly. Her threat of turning their instruments to kindling with her sword finished the job. I couldn't complain. That trio had long since crossed the line of good taste.

When they got to bottom half, I could barely ladle punch because my body was cringing so hard. No anatomy should be described in that much detail. Ever. The crowd dispersed, complaining but unwilling to stand up to the stern constable. I doubted she ever had to pull out her sword with the townsfolk, yet they all acted as though she might snap at any moment and turn the party into the rave scene in Blade. Finally, when everyone had either left or was leaving, Lady Talia pulled me into the kitchen with Wynnie.

She was less firm than with the patrons. Surprisingly gentle, even. Only concern and urgency lent any force to her grip on my bicep. I looked behind me, watching our succubus server try to shoo the rest of the laggards out.

"What about Shivai?" I asked.

"What about her?" Lady Talia spat out the retort like a spot of gristle from a Wagyu hamburger.

"Someone needs to watch the inn. Let her clean and earn her keep. I just wanted to speak with you two." Normally, I would have protested. This time, however, I wanted to make sure all of our guests left. Shivai was on the job. Nearly joined at the hip, Lady Talia and I entered the kitchen. Wynnie's hands were balled into fists on her generous hips. She looked displeased to have had her amazing, profitable night shut down early. Yet beneath that displeasure was real worry.

Her fingers rubbed nervously at the hem of her shirt sleeve, and she chewed on the inside of her lip. She could read the tension in the room just as well as I could. Something was wrong. This wasn't like Earth. Lady Talia wasn't here responding to a noise complaint. I knew that, and apparently, Wynnie did, too. Which, I mean, obviously. Seaport didn't strike me as a town with strictly codified noise ordinances. The constable looked over her shoulder to make sure the door was shut before turning her attention to us.

Her expression softened from stony authority to weary regret.

"I came here because one of my deputies saw a couple of shady characters off the road to the south earlier this evening."

"And do you think those shady characters are... pirates?" I asked. The dragonkin drummed her fingers on the hilt of her sword. It hung dangerously from her hip, resting against her shapely upper thigh. Her eyes worked this way and that, constantly alert for any sign of danger.

"After I left here this morning, I, well…" She paused, biting her lip with uncertain determination. Her hand covered her mouth as she cleared her throat unecessarily—more of a phatic tic to assert herself, I figured.

"I went back down to the beach, where we usually practice. I thought, um. Ahem. Um." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes to steady herself.

"I thought maybe you would chase after me. Or that you might go down to our usual spot to find me and try to lie, or explain yourself, or… or something. Or just to practice on your own." With every halting, uncomfortable sentence, my face burned hotter. Regret pricked at my brow. Had I really been too passive? A lifetime of messing things up with women came back to haunt me. I hadn't even realized things had progressed far enough with Lady Talia that I could add her to the list.

The dragonkin's fist clenched and unclenched, and a rosy blush crept up her sparkling cheeks.

"I waited out there for hours. You never came. It gave me a lot of time to look at the sea and think about what I was doing with my life. Why I cared so much for you to show up. What I wanted." Was that true? And to think I'd been out there, too. While she was on the beach below, I was on the trail above, trying to stash daggers on my body and practicing my quick-draw-and-stab technique on an unfortunate tree.

If she'd simply left a few minutes earlier—or if I'd stayed a few minutes later—we probably would've run into each other. And then I would've had to explain why I was practicing with brand-new daggers at Shivai's behest instead of swinging swords with Lady Talia.

"I, um, got caught up with work stuff," I said, fudging the truth.

"We knew it would be a busy night, you see."

"Yes, I suppose that makes sense." Lady Talia was still fidgeting, nervous. Whatever she'd just told me, it was probably far more vulnerable than she preferred to be.

"Anyway, while I was out there, I saw a ship come into a small cove to the south. Painted black hull. Black sails." This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. Wynnie swallowed.

"Oh, fiddlesticks."

"Oh fiddlesticks is right," Lady Talia agreed.

"What about sugar plums?" I asked.

"Fiddlesticks, sugar plums, drat, and phooey. And gosh darn it, too." Absently, Wynnie's hand crept over to some of the uneaten food she'd prepped. She began anxiously nibbling at it, small bite by small bite. When I got worried, I had the exact opposite response. Some people were nervous eaters, and others were like me—nervous starve-yourself types. The more pressure I felt, the less I ate. During depressive periods, I'd dropped several pants sizes just because I felt too frozen to eat. So, yeah.

At news of the Black Ship Raiders' possible return, I was suddenly averse to the mere thought of food.

"Okay. What's the plan?" I asked the constable.

"I assume you have one, since you came here?" Lady Talia shrugged.

"You were looking at most of my plan right now. As soon as I smelled smoke, I sent the other deputies out into the town to find the source. I came right here."

"But why?" Wynnie asked.

"I figured they'd be targeting you. I'd hate to see anything happen to you." She tucked a strand of radiant blonde behind her ear, which I noticed had faint serrations on the underside.

"To either of you." At first, I wondered why Lady Talia came in person instead of sending one of her deputies. Yet after our curious exchange a moment ago, and the one earlier in the day, I realized I already knew. For her, saving us—and maybe saving me—was personal. Still, the news shook me. I felt unsteady on my feet. My hand found the nearby counter, and I leaned on it slightly to steady myself. This kitchen had become a safe place. It was where we'd mastered our hassle-free raw foods.

Where we washed dishes and gossiped. Made ice cream and huddled together while eating it on the floor. It was our moment of respite when the Breakwater got too busy, and the three of us could take a quick breather—and often a shot—together. We visited this room late at night when we couldn't sleep and needed a night snack. And now it was the probable target of pirates with a vendetta. My heart sank.

"Should we find a different place to stay tonight?" I asked.

"Wouldn't you have to kick out a bunch of your guests if you did? No, I don't think that's necessary. We'll just have to make sure you have protection." Lady Talia gripped the hilt of her sword conspicuously.

"You're going to keep one of your deputies here on watch?" I asked.

"No. I wouldn't trust them with… I mean, they're perfectly adequate for menial tasks. But for something important? I'd want to oversee your protection myself." A smirk quickly formed back into a serious frown.

"So, I'll be staying here for the night, unless you have any objections." Wynnie and I glanced nervously at each other. Wynnie didn't even know the full extent of how awkward things had gotten between me and Lady Talia earlier, but part of it had to be obvious. Besides, a woman's intuition, or whatever. Point is, she knew what was up just as much as I did.

"We'd love to put you up, but there's a little wrinkle." Wynnie stuffed another piece of sashimi into her mouth and chewed.

"All of our rooms are let out for the night. Shivai was staying in a cramped, hot closet."

"That's why she moved to our bedroom," I explained, far too late. Not that it would do any good. What we'd done was an open secret already.

"Great! She can just go back to her closet. I'll sleep in your room."

"No need! We can fit you in our room as well. Three fit on the bed, and one can fit on the cot." I could only describe Lady Talia's pause as pregnant. A mixture of revulsion and terror played across her features. Her lower lip quivered, already trying to stammer out a backpedal before her brain had the words to go with it. It was pretty clear who would be staying on the cot. She'd have to stay in the same room as the threesome that caused her so much distress earlier in the day.

That is, unless Lady Talia wanted to suddenly sleep next to an established couple while Shivai watched. Which, given what I knew now, Wynnie and Shivai might be into that. If Lady Talia wanted to crash our little love nest, she was just going to have to find a way of being comfortable with it. Wynnie shrugged sheepishly. Unfortunately, I didn't have any great solutions, either. Shivai slipped in through the door and paused, her arms crossed under her prodigious chest. Her tail whipped friskily behind her.

She could tell that something was up, and knowing her, she might've been eavesdropping, too.

"What's going on? Why does everybody look so tense?"

"Lady Talia wants to keep a watchful eye over us tonight. Only place there's room to sleep is our bedroom, though."

"Oh, yeah. She'll hate it in there. I'm sure the idea of close physical contact makes her sick."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the dragonkin shot back.

"Nothing. Just that I doubt anyone's ever hugged you on purpose. Or that you'd even let them." I knew from personal experience that wasn't true. Lady Talia had a human side to her, figuratively speaking. She'd hugged me in gratitude after I killed Strider. Yet Shivai's barb struck home. Despite the small crowd now in the kitchen and the heat wave raging outside, the room seemed frostier than ever. Downright inhospitable, even. It was time to see if my hospitality skill had any merit.

And failing that, I had some classic TTRPG knowledge to bank on.

"Really, thank you, Lady Talia. I'm sure we'll manage just fine without overnight protection," I protested, trying to keep things from getting further out of hand. Then, I suggested the standard RPG adventurer safety measure.

"I'm sure we can all take turns keeping watch." I felt smart. Lady Talia swatted the idea away with a hand through the air.

"Nonsense. These Raiders mean business. I won't let them harm a hair on your head. Or Wynnie's." A sneer curled her lip as she shot daggers at the demonkin.

"Or hers."

"Well, you should know that I sleep in the nude," Shivai said, teasing.

"Augh!" Her exasperated sigh sounded more pained than frustrated.

"I… how can I be certain that the three of you won't try to keep me up all night with the sounds of your... your canoodling?" I raised my hand to halt all the nonsense. As fun as it was to navigate an awkward, tense situation, we had bigger things to worry about than a couple of stolen smooches. Also, I could tell that Shivai was just trying to get a rise out of the constable. I was surprised how easy it was for her.

"Tell you what. The three of you take the bed. I'll take the cot." All three women shot me horrified glances.

"No!" Wynnie cried.

"Aw, come on!" Shivai whined.

"But that's the worst option!" Lady Talia protested.

"Are you sure you won't budge about making the purple thief sleep in the hot closet?" But I was firm in my decision.

"This is the way we're doing it. The three of you share a bed, and I'll be right across the room. If you feel lonely, we can still whisper secrets to each other." I knew none of the girls liked it, but it was the right choice. A good compromise left everybody feeling displeased. And even though they'd been the ones to argue against it, nobody was more unhappy about the arrangement than me. If I had my way, I'd be sharing a bed with all three of them. I blinked. Did I really just think that?

Was I suddenly thinking about Lady Talia in a less than chaste manner less than a day after kissing Shivai for the first time? I mean, you couldn't blame a guy. She was gorgeous. But—"Fine. That's probably the safest choice," Wynnie said, grabbing the final slice of sashimi off the platter. She shot a glare between the other two girls.

"I'll sleep in the middle so that you two aren't at each other's throats." I smirked.

"And no canoodling." It was time to see how these sleeping arrangements panned out.