Chương 74: Act 2, Chapter 28: Broken reality of things

Day in the story:?? I felt his Authority knock against the door of my soul. Water. It was the power over water, gentle, but immense. It asked to come in. And it smelled like Peter. So I let it. He was behind me? My head resting against his collarbone, one hand on my stomach, the other on my forehead, keeping me partially upright. His touch was warm. The water around us was not. It tore through me like a current through a broken dam. He was directing it. Guiding it. I could feel his control, his focus.

His Shadowlight pulsed inside me, threading through my veins, coaxing my blood, commanding the water stored in my cells. At first, it was dull. Then the pain returned. A thousand burns igniting at once. My skin screaming. I thrashed. But he held me. They held me. There were other hands too, smaller ones. Holding my legs down.

"Keep her still!" Peter shouted.

"I am trying!" Nick's voice strained.

"Me too," someone else—Malik? —added, struggling to keep my legs in place. I opened my eyes, just for a second. Regret struck instantly. Anansi was blocking all my other senses, using every bit of strength she had, but real vision meant real pain. A crashing wave of it rolled through me. I saw Malik first, gripping my legs, face turned away as I convulsed. Then Peter, kneeling beside me. His hands wrapped around mine. His Shadowlight flowed into my arms, down into my chest.

And Nick, his legs on either side of me, anchoring me in place. His reforming arm pressed against my stomach. His good hand cupped the back of my head. Another surge of power flooded in from Peter. It traveled from his palms into my body, through tissue, bone, blood, giving silent commands to clot the bleeding, repair torn muscles, reconnect nerves, rebuild skin. He could have left the nerves for last. He should have. Because I felt everything. The pain was indescribable.

It was the full flood of agony, the kind that drowns you, crushes you, flays you alive. It rose. It broke. And then— Blackness.

I woke up in bed. Alone. The bedroom was large, curtains drawn shut. Just faint slivers of lights slipped through the fabric. Then it hit me— Panic. My body. I'd been burned. Badly. I threw the blanket off in a rush, heart racing. I wore an oversized blouse, a loose t-shirt, and pants. Not mine. I scanned the room. My suit was folded on the wardrobe nearby. My gear lay beside it. Someone had changed me. I checked my legs. They were fine. Ran my hands over my stomach, my chest. Also fine. No burns. No pain.

Just smooth, warm skin. I got out of bed fast, staggered toward the door, and opened it. The outer room was dim. Malik slept on a couch, curled up with his arm under his head. Peter was laid out on cushions on the floor. Nick sat in an armchair, but the moment he saw me, he stood. He raised a hand. Shhh. A silent gesture. He came to me, quiet but fast. His hands reached out, steady on my arms. His hand was completely healed. Then, without a word, he pulled me into a hug. Warm. Solid. Safe. I let him.

Just for a moment. It felt nice. But he wasn't mine. So I pushed him back. Gently. He let go. No protest, no awkwardness, just a small nod. Then he guided me back into the bedroom, hands light but firm. He closed the door behind us.

"I'm glad you woke up," Nick said as I sat back down on the bed I'd just woken in. He stood by the door, keeping his voice soft.

"The guys were exhausted, so they're sleeping now. They'll be happy to see you on your feet, but… we've all had a long day. Let them rest, okay?"

"Sure," I said, voice raspier than I expected.

"What the hell happened, Nick?" He looked drained, physically and emotionally, but he drew in a breath and answered anyway.

"You almost died, Alexa. When Peter came out of his trial, he helped me," he paused, eyes unfocused for a second.

"Well, we helped each other take the fire guy down. But by then, you were in really bad shape. We brought you back down to the apartment, the one you made a hole in and into the shower. Me and Malik held you still while Peter used his Domain to heal you."

"I remember parts of that," I muttered.

"Yeah. You were lucid a few times," he said.

"Screamed like a banshee, then passed out again. Peter thinks it was the pain from your nerves stitching back together."

"He can heal now?" Nick nodded slowly.

"Better for him to explain it himself, but… yeah. His Domain lets him heal people. Among other things."

"He healed your arm?"

"No. I let it regenerate naturally," he said.

"We were trying to conserve energy. And Authority." I glanced across the room at my suit, crumpled on the wardrobe. He followed my eyes.

"It was Peter who changed you," Nick said quietly.

"Me and Malik stepped out." A pang of shame hit me. Not even sure why. I mumbled, "You saw me almost naked anyway."

"Yes," he said, plain and unflinching. No awkwardness. No joking. Just honesty. Good. That made it easier.

"Never mind," I said.

"Thank you for saving my life. I'm sorry for ruining everything again."

"Alexa," he said firmly, "I don't know why that guy attacked you, but I don't care. I know you well enough by now to know you weren't trying to screw things up. You tried your best. That's enough. The others think the same." He gave me a small, tired smile. Then his expression turned serious again.

"We still haven't found Jason," he said.

"But we got close, really close. One World Trade. Getting inside though… we didn't try. Not yet."

"You went back into the horde after everything that happened?"

"Yes," Nick said.

"You weren't waking up, so we decided to try. It was better than just sitting around doing nothing all day."

"How long was I out?" I asked, a creeping dread rising up my spine.

"Three days. It's the 16th now. Well, it will be when the sun rises."

"I slept for three days?" I repeated, stunned.

"Yes. Peter said he could heal your body, but not your mind. That part had to rest on its own, so… we waited."

"I'm so sorry. Everyone must've been worried sick," I said, sadness starting to nest in my chest again. I felt defeated. Crushed beneath the weight of my failures.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Alexa. Peter's whole too and he might be the most powerful one among us now," Nick said.

"So it wasn't all bad, this rescue mission."

"He's that good of a healer?"

"Healer?" Nick huffed.

"No. He's terrible at it. Needs a ton of time to guide his shadowlight properly. We had to hold you under the shower for three hours before he was confident he'd done enough."

"But you said he was powerful."

"He controls water, Alexa. And he fights like a demon." This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Did he wipe out all the corpo-zombies? How did you even get close to One World Trade?" Nick chuckled softly.

"No. That was Malik's idea. We found some corporate suits, changed into them… and they stopped noticing us entirely."

"No way," I said, disbelief slipping out.

"But it was that simple," he replied, just as the door creaked open. Peter's face peeked in, and then he stepped inside and embraced me without hesitation.

"I'm so sorry, Lex," he said quietly.

"I tried my best."

"I know. Don't be sorry. You've saved me three times already. I'm the one who sucks," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Tell me, guys… do you think there's still a chance we can get Jason out of that tower?"

"You just woke up," Nick replied.

"Your suit and Peter's too, barely covers half your body with all the tears it suffered. And the tower's not just guarded by the Unreflected. There are mages there too."

"What? Mages?" I asked, alarmed.

"Yes," Peter answered.

"We got close and saw them. There's something going on in there. As much as I'd like to go after Jason… getting in and out now might be impossible."

"But Peter, you said yourself we shouldn't give up."

"I know. And I'm not saying we should. I'm saying it's smarter to go home. Regroup, prepare. Especially now that we can start from here next time," he said, looking right at me. I didn't want to hear that. But he was right. This was the moment to learn and not repeat our mistakes.

"It is what it is, right?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," Peter replied. No hesitation in his voice.

"Okay," I said.

"Pack yourselves up. I'll bring us home."

"All your stuff's in there," Nick said, pointing to the same bag he'd carried most of the trip.

"I'll leave you two for a minute. Need to bring Malik up to speed," he added, then walked out. I looked at Peter. He looked back. His eyes seemed shinier than usual. Full of that deep, brilliant blue.

"Lex, talk to me. I feel like we haven't spoken in forever, like we used to."

"I'm sorry. I got so caught up in everything that happened… and I didn't want to take you away from Zoe."

"I love you, Lex. You know that. If you need to talk, I'll make time for you. We don't keep secrets from each other."

"You don't. I do."

"I call bull on that. You'd tell me the truth about anything if I asked. I know it." He was right. I would never lie if he said he needed the truth. Not to him.

"But you never ask." Maybe not never, but rarely.

"I figured that if you needed me to know, you'd tell me yourself. I know how much you value your independence. I'm sorry about that. I can see how it might have seemed like I stopped caring. I do care, Alexa. I always will." He opened his arms, a gesture for me to crawl into his hug like I used to, when we were little and I was his world and he was mine. I took the offer.

"Are you devastated?" he asked. He knew me so well. I hated failure.

"I think so. I feel like I failed everyone."

"You're your harshest critic, Alexa. You failed yourself, because of how high you set the bar for yourself."

"Yes… I failed myself." I took a deep breath, and the first tear rolled down. She hated solitude, so she called for the others to join her.

"I wanted to save him. I feel… I feel awful. I didn't love him. I liked him, and I tried, but this wasn't love… because if it was, he—" My voice broke.

"He got broken, and they took him." He let me cry for a while. He didn't speak. He was just there, like a calm lake I could throw my regrets and fears into, knowing there would be no judgment.

"I could have included him as well. Maybe that would have saved him. I feel like I included everyone but him. I don't even know why anymore…" More tears followed.

"Now he's dead because of me. And all those shadows we killed along the way, they're dead because of me. My selfishness. I can't look at myself anymore. All I see is another mask I wish I could take off, you know?"

"I do. I feel the same way sometimes." That took me off guard. I didn't know.

"You do? Why?"

"Up until three days ago, I was the odd one. Unable to help you in your criminal or magical life, while even Zoe could. I trained and trained, but it felt like it would lead nowhere, and that both you and her would move farther and farther away. Honestly, I still feel this way even now, even after joining my father's Domain…"

"What? It's not yours?"

"No… I'm a legacy mage, like Nick. But according to my soul core, I'm the only one connected to it now. The last Stark left to carry it. So once again, I feel like some impostor. I don't even remember my parents anymore, Lex. No memories left at all. And apparently I was similar enough to my father that I joined his Domain."

"But I saw it. It took place in your room. I thought it was yours."

"Maybe it moved because I'm the only one alive from my line?" he asked.

"I know jack shit about any of that, Peter. But I know that even without any powers, you were the best person in the entire world." He hugged me harder, a tear running down his cheek as well.

"I love you," he said.

"Love you too," I answered. Silence overtook us for a while—warm, heavy silence. Then I broke it.

"I don't know if I can do any of this anymore. Back home, there's a mess waiting for me. I put Penrose against EoT and have no idea how it went. Here, Jason is still missing. And oh, I almost forgot, I'm probably a suspect in an FBI investigation about that very disappearance. There's a mess with Malik, his brother, and his grandmother. Sophie's shadow is all messed up, and I… I feel like a walking failure. I don't know what to do, Pete."

"Would you like me to just listen, give advice, or help?" he asked. And I loved him for it. He wasn't the kind of man who shoved solutions at you, hoping his fix would be the fix. He actually asked what I wanted.

"You've listened already," I said.

"I think I told you everything that's bothering me. I could use advice… help would be great too."

"I'll give you advice that worked for you before and worked for me lately as well." He leaned forward a little.

"Brace yourself, sis. Life sucks right now. You're down, and it keeps on kicking you. But you know what? You've been here before. And you got up, and you worked for it to get better. One step at a time. And back then, all you had was one stupid friend who became your brother. Now you've got more than that. So it'll be easier. Just… let the light in again." He was right. But that light felt so far away.

"I propose we deal with Penrose first," he went on.

"Together. It's not like I'm a bystander in that relationship. He knows me, and I know him. And now, I won't be so easy for him to use against you."

"Okay."

"Then you remake your suit. Make it better because you'll need it. All of us will prepare, and we'll return here to try to get him back."

"What about Sophie?" I asked.

"Something's gnawing at her. Maybe more than me. And she hasn't opened up about it at all."

"I feel like that one… we should discuss with Nick."

"He doesn't know her like we do, Pete. They haven't been together that long."

"And we don't know her the same way he does now, either."

"You're right. Obviously you're right." I sighed.

"I suck at relationships."

"You've had no examples of good ones in your life, where did you expect to learn from?"

"Neither did you, and you turned out fine."

"I battle my own demons too, Lex."

"I know… I'm sorry."

"Do you want to hear more about my father's Domain?"

"Yes. But please don't call it that. You earned it. All your relatives are gone. There's no one left to influence you. It's as much yours, maybe even more than it was theirs."

"Thank you. That… means a lot to me. Really." His voice cracked. He cried a little. He'd always felt like he wasn't enough and that was why his parents left him.

"My Domain is quite simple, really. It's the Domain of Water."

"You'd live in the water if you could choose it. I'd expect as much."

"Apparently, the physical water or swimming, to be exact, isn't as important as… other qualities."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I had been tested in ways that measured my attitude. I had to be clear, like water. My no-lies policy helped with that. I had to prove I was adaptable, able to fit into any situation like water taking the shape of whatever vessel it's poured into. I had to show that I could be a healing presence in people's lives… but also a force of destruction, if needed. It was really, really difficult, Alexa. It felt like my entire life had been the test."

"It does sound harder than mine was."

"Maybe our difficulties just lie in different places."

"What can you do?"

"My marks are movement and acceleration."

"But I saw you increase your strength. And you obviously healed me. How?"

"Increasing strength is simple. I just move Authority-reinforced water toward the muscles I want to enhance. Healing is similar. I push the water stored in cells, with all its elements, to repair what's broken. Blood helps a lot too, since I can control it."

"That's amazing!"

"Yeah… and pretty hard when your first real test is saving your sister's life."

"Once again, I'm sorry, man."

"I also suck at using water at range. Anything I'm touching or that's inside me is easy, though."

"Welcome to my world. We will learn together."

"Also Lex, don't freak out, but my Domain is huge, like immensely huge. I had normal sky above me and couldn't see any walls around when I was there." Peter said.

"Can you describe it? How does it look like?"

"I will show you when we have time, its right next to yours right?"

"True." I said and sadness replaced a sudden jolt of curiosity once again. He must have noticed it, because he held me tighter.

"Is there still something bothering you?"

"Its just… all of it together. I am a pawn in someone else's game. I am visiting a world I know almost nothing about hoping to make sense of it and trying and failing to save a person that loves me… I have powers–yes, but they require preparation and I still suck at controlling them as well as I'd like… I am sorry to be a downer and all you said, it did help me cheer up a little… but—""I know Lex. I know." he said and we just sat there together doing nothing, for a while.

I sent Nick and Malik to Lebens' training hall, Peter back to our apartment, and made a stop at my Domain first. What was left of my suit went onto its hanger, the belt and all its attachments beside it. Then I unpacked the bag Nick had prepared for me. Inside was Peter's suit, or rather what was left of it. I set it aside. There was also the knife I'd taken from the fire chef, sealed inside the portable cooler Nick had carried.

When I opened it, the blade still radiated fiery Authority, heat shimmering from it, though the handle was cold enough to hold. My first magical weapon I hadn't made myself. I just wished the price for it hadn't been so high. With a thought, I shaped a stand for it in my Domain and set it next to my gear. At the bottom of the bag, a pack of crackers with a note in Nick's handwriting: You will need all the energy you can get. Damn. He was a great guy. A good friend. I just wished I wasn't such a burden to him.

The unpacking reminded me of the baseball holding Monument's soulmark. I dug through the bag until I found it, then carried it into my bedroom here and set it on a stand beside the Dragon's Egg necklace. It would stay there until I could find a use for it. With everything in its place, I slumped onto the couch beside my soul core and let its light brush against my skin, steady and warm, filling me with a quiet energy. My gaze wandered through my little world, my own reality and I noticed the changes immediately.

Where once only the floor had been dark, like polished obsidian, now tendrils of blackness crawled upward, climbing the white marble walls. And in that moment, I finally understood why my Domain had looked the way it did before. The black was my foundation, the things I'd been taught since my earliest years. Here, it was both the ground I walked on and the pillar that held me up. The white walls and statues were my façade, my protection from the world. White, because white holds all colors before they are released.

They were the art of building a wall around my soul, the disciplined, contained shape of expression. Above me, the ceiling was painted with a sky. Not the real sky, just an image of one. A reminder that even here, the real sky was out of reach, and I had to make my own. And now, there were cracks everywhere. Splintering through the floor. Cutting across the walls. Splitting the painted sky. Even one of the statues, a likeness of me, hand over heart, smiling, it too bore a fracture that ran deep.

It was all architecture, yes, but it was also a perfect metaphor for my soul. I was trapped in the cage. [Are you sad about it?] Yes, Anansi, I am. I just looked at my true self. For the first time since I came here. This is my soul, and what have I done with it? I've cluttered it with things. Enough to block the view, to make it harder to see the whole picture. Until now. [It is still beautiful.] It is, yes. Because sadness and pain can be beautiful. But they're also heavy… and eventually they become unbearable.

[Are you giving up?] I think I am. I gave up on perfection once, when I was still a child. I understood even then: some things have to be let go so we can grow. [But you still tried to be perfect. Perfect thief. Perfect soldier. Perfect hero, whatever it was you thought you were when you ran.] You don't know who I was back then? [Do you?] Fair point. You're right. I thought I was perfect. I thought I'd succeed no matter what. I was wrong, wasn't I? [Yes. You often are.] Wow.

You don't have to be such a bitch about it. I thought we had a connection here, girl. I sighed. Of course, Anansi was right. I am often wrong. But I'm still here. Broken, yes, but here. And even if I don't have the strength right now, I can rebuild. People can change. I would try to do just that. There was one last thing to do before I left. I touched the crystal core and exchanged the essence of Authority I had gathered. The moment it flowed, it felt like reuniting with an old, long‑lost friend.

It knew me, and I knew it. It was deep, profound and without any boundaries. I probed it and asked. [You are at 71%. You need 29% more essence of Authority to initiate growth.] Almost there, Anansi. Almost there. I poked around with my aura a little more. It was aura, right? It had to be. It was my soul's sense, after all. I checked on both of my marks: one depicting a voidling's face, the other equally black. The rivet taken from a living memory bridge.

For someone whose Domain was Artistic Creation, my soulmarks were… pretty bleak. Bleak and black. [Not only white contains every color.] What do you mean? [It is true for light and shadowlight, but not for paint.] Damn, girl! You're right. Mix everything, and you don't get white. You get black. [You are welcome.] Don't get sassy all of a sudden. I'd have gotten there myself eventually. [I am you. Kind of.] Less and less every day, I'd say. Keep going!

I moved my hand away from the crystal and caught my reflection in its surface. Here, it was a little easier not to hate what I saw.