Chương 22: Outsourcing parenthood

After - reluctantly - warping back home from the Icecrown Palace, the next few days went well. More than well, if Ophelia was being honest. A knock on the door. With a grin, Ophelia threw open the door to see a dozen small fairies carrying a blue box with a satin ribbon tied in a bow at the top. A small card pinned to ribbon read: Thank you for your purchase, Fulgentina's Bakery.

"Thank you!" Ophelia grabbed the box. The fairies saluted her, flying off. She took it inside, depositing it onto the kitchen counter. She had recently learned that the fairy delivery service didn't just help with moving homes, but also smaller tasks, like picking up her orders from the various stores in Rosenarte.

So far, she had ordered in from several high-end restaurants, some last minute school supplies for Rin, and even a few interesting magical trinkets she had seen in magazines like Magical Monday and Glamour Gazette. She deserved a few treats for her stellar performance on the battlefield. Ophelia opened the box, the ribbon unspooling to the ground. She took out a warm blueberry muffin and bit into the soft and fluffy pastry.

Admittedly, it was a bit lazy of her, since she could instantaneously warp and all, but the act of opening the door to packages and food deliveries was so nostalgic she just kept doing it. In the past, she did indulge in some retail therapy, and after transmigrating into a new world, who needed more therapy than her? A tug on her sleeve. Ophelia looked down, cheeks full, to see Marika standing beside her. She quickly swallowed down the food.

"Want one?" Ophelia offered the girl a muffin. Marika took the muffin with a grateful look, which soon frayed at the edges as an uneasy expression began to take hold.

"My lady… I don't mean to be rude. But can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Um… do you remember the night of the thunderstorm? When Toma was afraid?" Ophelia nodded. Marika looked at her feet.

"My lady promised Toma a puppy. He… he'll never bring it up himself, but I thought I would ask if you meant what you said, or if it was just to make us feel better." Her eyes widened and she waved her hands in front of her.

"Not that that's a bad thing! It's just… should I tell Toma not to expect the puppy?" Oh shit. She had promised him a pet, hadn't she? Why the hell had she said that? Another thing to look after? But it wasn't like she could go back on her promise… Ophelia stuffed the rest of the muffin into her mouth, throwing the thin paper wrapping on the table. It slid off onto the floor. She rubbed her hands together to get any crumbs off.

"A promise is a promise!" she declared.

"Let's go pick one up right now!" Even she knew better than to "express order" a pet. Half the joy of a pet was in bonding with one at the store and bringing them home. Marika grinned at her.

"Yes, of course! Toma will be so pleased!" Then, her grin wavered slightly. Ophelia saw that she was looking at the wrapping that had fallen to the floor.

"The self-cleaning charms will take care of that," Ophelia told her.

"My lady," said Marika slowly, "Rin's been doing all the cleaning…" Ophelia paused.

"But the dishes…?"

"Rin washes the dishes."

"The trash?"

"Rin takes out the trash."

"But… the floors sparkle."

"Rin mops the floor every day," said Marika.

"She can't stand mess." Images flashed through Ophelia's head - leaving dirty dishes in the sink, wrappers on the counter, even leaving her clothes around the apartment. In a few hours it was all cleaned. She had just assumed the magic apartment was doing everything. She had paid five million for it, after all. Oh no… am I parentifying Rin?? Damn it, I'm really not going to be able to afford this therapy bill! Ophelia sucked in a breath.

The two kids needed some kind of parent figure - and god knows that wasn't her - and someone to also manage the household. And take care of that pet. She wasn't going to be home as often when her job at the academy started. Preferably, a maid or a nanny that also had some fighting skills. You know - just in case. A nanny that wasn't Azazel, to be specific. She took out her mirror.

"H-hello, Lady Archmage, this is the front office of the Royal Mage Academy. How can I help you?" Huh. They remembered her. So, they must have noted down her rune sequence. She kept forgetting to get Bianca's personal line. Even though, somehow, that woman had figured out hers. She was about to request to be connected to the headmistress when she realized that perhaps she didn't need to bother her with that.

"I need to hire a nanny. What are the premier services in the city?"

"Y-yes, of course!" the lady on the line stuttered.

"I believe you are looking for the Black Aprons. Shall I book you an appointment with them?" The front office of the academy was really quite convenient.

"That would be fantastic, thank you." The lady cleared her throat.

"Usually, they have a waiting list of several years, but I'm sure when they hear the client is your esteemed self, they will make room for you today." Ophelia smiled.

"That's kind of you to say. Please call me back when the appointment is booked." One problem - solved! She just put down the mirror before the help desk called her again, confirming the appointment. It was in one hour.

"First, we're going to pick up your new nanny," Ophelia told Marika.

"Then, we'll go to the pet store. Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

"Great. Let's get Toma and Rin and have an outing!" Marika rushed around the house, getting everyone ready while Ophelia finished her breakfast. Marika came down in a cute frilly pink dress with Toma in hand.

"Where's Rin?" asked Ophelia. Marika shrugged.

"She says she's busy studying her spellbooks."

"Hm." Ophelia hadn't seen much of Rin these past few days. But it was a good thing she was preparing for the academy. As far as Ophelia knew, most academy students had been studying magic all their lives, and often even came from some kind of special magical lineage (as well as being rich nobles). Rin was probably feeling overwhelmed. In the webtoon, similar to Ophelia, Rin had never really had a 'traditional learning experience', so she might be feeling extra behind.

Truthfully, she wished she could take Rin around the world to grab more skills and levels. But Bianca had been right. Rin needed to consolidate what she had first before rushing ahead. She decided to go in her purple and black battle robes. After the battle in Snowreach, she had discovered a certain… fondness for looking like a proper mage. The three of them left Le Ciel and went out into the Grandiflora District. The Headquarters of the Black Aprons was - thankfully - fairly close by.

As was the headquarters of nearly everything. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Perks of living near the academy, she supposed. The building itself was all sharp, black spires, and arched windows. It resembled a gothic cathedral - though much narrower in size. The sigil of a black crow was emblazoned on the walkway leading up the building.

Ophelia went up the steps, one child in each hand, and the door flew open dramatically before her foot even touched the last step. The man bowed sharply at the waist - a perfect ninety degree angle. He had a deep brown skin tone, and his black hair was styled in crimped waves, with one wave falling perfectly over half of his left eye. His voice was extremely polite, almost robotic, accentuating every syllable.

"Lady Archmage. We, the Black Aprons, are honored that you have come to us. You have impeccable taste. May I introduce you to our finest caretakers?"

"Absolutely."

"Perfect. If necessary, you may refer to me as Achille. Please follow along." Ophelia trailed behind the man, impressed at how elegant his strides were, and his perfect posture. His class wasn't something like Maid or Butler, but Rogue. And at Level 359 at that. Achille escorted her and the kids down a hallway. One of the walls was entirely made of glass, showcasing a training facility.

A dozen maids and butlers in uniform practiced hand-to-hand combat with each other, dodging swiftly, jumping elegantly, and throwing out a series of kicks and chops with frightening efficiency. At the end of the hallway was a private room. The walls and furniture were all dark, expensive wood, and the navy rug was so plush the soles of her shoes sank a bit when she stepped onto it. Ophelia moved to sit on the couch, Toma on her right side, and Marika on her left.

Achille stood in the corner, hands clasped behind his back. The shadows seemed to hug his form strangely, almost as though embracing him, welcoming him to step back into them even further. The first caretaker to enter through the door was a very serious, unsmiling woman in a maid's uniform. A pair of rectangular glasses flashed over her eyes. Her hair was a gleam of dark blonde hair pulled into a strict chignon.

Her frame was long and angular, the shoulders and knees sharp, and she radiated an aura of pure lethality. [Gunslinger - Level 415] Ophelia's mind filled with admiring thoughts. So cool.

"This is Anna Maria. Her strengths include taking out enemy operatives from a distance, before they can even reach your home." Light gleamed across Anna Maria's glasses as she stood a fraction straighter. So cool.

"Are you good with children?" asked Ophelia, out of an obligation that she was probably supposed to ask that. To her, Anna Maria had already been hired. The woman was coming home with her tonight!

"I will whip them into shape," said Anna Maria. Ophelia glanced down at Toma and Marika to see their reactions - hopefully, their excited nods at finally meeting their perfect nanny. Instead, they grimaced at her, subtly shaking their heads.

"She's scary!" whispered Marika, likely unaware that everyone in the room had advanced hearing except for her and Toma.

"If you like her, my lady…" acquiesced Toma. Ophelia sighed sadly. She looked to Achille. The man made a gesture at Anna Maria and she exited the room without a word.

"Lady Archmage, please do not hesitate to reject a Black Apron for any reason. It is our job to find your perfect fit." Ophelia put two fingers to her right temple.

"Do you have anyone…" She looked at the kids.

"Approachable?" Achille gave her a prim, practiced smile. He placed a gloved hand across his chest.

"Absolutely." The next person to come through the door was a short, tubby man in a black suit. The first few buttons of the shirt beneath were undone, revealing a whistle hanging on a piece of string nestled in his copious chest hair. [Bard - Level 320] The bard flourished grandly.

"My lady, may I serenade your ears with a most pleasing tune?" Achille added, "He plays quite well." Ophelia shot Achille a glare and the Bard immediately left.

"No musicians," she declared.

"Or 'life of the party' types. I hate 'life of the party' types." She had way too much trauma from guys pulling out guitars in the middle of a party, expecting everyone to stop what they were doing to listen to their shitty rendition of some song from the early 2000s. If she had to live with some Bard constantly whistling all the time… After that, several more candidates came through, but none that Ophelia, Marika, and Toma all liked.

Just before Ophelia was about to call it quits, a loud bang echoed through the establishment, the walls and the floor shaking. Ophelia uncrossed her legs, ready to stand up. Achille lifted his palm up.

"Please accept my deepest apologies. I will take care of this." Bang. Bang. Bang. The man strode out of the office. Ophelia could hear his voice down the hall.

"We have a very important guest- what is going on out here?"

"Sorry, sir!" chirped a warm, feminine voice.

"I accidentally threw my opponent through the wall!" Ophelia narrowed her eyes. There was something naggingly familiar about her words.

"Control yourself. Repairing structural damage to the building isn't cheap."

"Yes, sir!" Achille came back into the room. He brushed a bit of dust - actual dust, not nonexistent dust - over the tailored shoulder of his suit.

"Again, I must express my apologies, Lady Archmage. One of our new trainees was… overzealous in her eagerness to sharpen her skills. We prize individuals with passion for the work, for the hunger to earn the honor of wearing the black apron, but temperance is similarly valued. In a few months, she will be the perfect maid." Ophelia caressed her bottom lip in thought.

"Can we meet her?" Achille didn't blink.

"Absolutely." The girl came in a few moments later, brought in by Achille. She had wavy, chestnut brown hair, with heavy bangs that curled at the ends a bit from sweat, and large doe eyes. The maid outfit hugged her curvy figure. [Warrior - Level 580] Her level was actually higher than any of the previous candidates. But even more interestingly, Ophelia did recognize her character design. The bubbly attitude, the chipper personality, the quirky flaw of not being able to control her own strength.

She'd been a tank for an adventuring party Rin had encountered later in the series. The girl had, sadly, died off-screen in a gruesome way, trying to buy time for her teammates to escape the "B-Rank" dungeon that had secretly actually been an S-Rank nightmare. Ophelia had stopped reading the webtoon for a few weeks after her death. Even though she had been a minor character created solely to die to jerk some cheap tears out of the reader.

"May I introduce Auriette de Belle?" said Achille.

"She–""Oh! Oh my, how thoroughly adorable!" Auriette swept towards the kids, hands clasped together, her large brown eyes sparkling with pure joy.

"And don't you two look just the sweetest? I could eat you both up!" For some reason, this threat of cannibalism didn't scare the two rascals. Instead, they smiled. Well. That was good enough for Ophelia. Cute girl. Good with kids. Loyal. What else was needed?

"I'll take her," said Ophelia, pointing at Auriette de Belle.

"Lady Archmage, I'm afraid that this maid has not finished her training–""I'm not concerned," said Ophelia.

"She's almost Level 600. That's good enough for me." A slightly troubled expression crossed Achille's face.

"She will have to come back occasionally to finish her courses." Ophelia's gaze slid to Auriette.

"Are you willing?" The girl was too busy squeeing over the kids. Then, belatedly, the words seemed to register. She stood up as straight as a bowstring and saluted to Ophelia.

"I, Auriette de Belle, am willing to be your maid!" Achille gave a cough into his fist. Auriette grimaced like a rock had been thrown at her head. She cleared her throat and then, very demurely, curtsied, keeping her chin down.

"I agree to pledge myself to your household, my lady." Cough.

"... Lady Archmage?" Achille smiled. It was the first time Ophelia had seen a smile from him.

"I'll write up the papers." When Achille stepped out of the room, Ophelia's eyes widened as she remembered something she had been meaning to ask. She stood and tried to catch up to the Rogue, only to find the man turned around, facing her, as though in wait.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I have a question…" Ophelia bit the inside of her cheek.

"Do you know of anyone with a Therapist class?" Achille blinked at her.

"I'm sorry, my education cannot possibly compare to yours. I'm not familiar with the term. Is it a rare class?"

"Perhaps not a class. Just… profession?" He continued to blink at her.

"Mayhaps I know it by a different name. Could you explain its functions to me?" Ophelia never thought she'd ever been in a position to explain what a therapist was to someone. This had always been something everyone knew about - like that tomatoes had seeds and were therefore fruits, or that no, ChatGPT didn't actually think you were a brilliant visionary it was just programmed to say that, or the fact that the FDA hadn't approved new ingredients for sunscreen since the nineties. She tried to explain.

"They help people work through their emotions and experiences. Guide them, you know?"

"Oh. I see. I understand what you mean now. One second." He left and returned a moment later with a business card in his hand. He gave it to her. Ophelia's eyes flew open in disbelief when she saw the name inscribed on the surface in navy blue calligraphy.

"You're looking for an Empath, no? This is the best Empath in Rosenarte." Ambrogino Rouvier Prestige & Heritage Property Group"…" Hell no!! That damned real estate agent again?? Ophelia would like to say she couldn't think of a worse therapist, but she actually could. Now that she was thinking about it, most of the people she knew in this world would be worse at it… did the guy have a point? No. No, of course he didn't.

"Thank you," said Ophelia, pocketing the business card.

"Just what I was looking for." Now, the next step to being a good parental figure! Buying the puppy. And since thera pists apparently didn't exist in this world, that puppy was going to have to be really good at that emotional support stuff.