Chương 15: The [censored] and the [censored]

As soon as the golden-haired man sauntered out of the figurine store, proudly carrying his many purchases, Ophelia snatched him by the collar of his velvet doublet and yanked him into a dark alley. Demon Lord Azazel barely let out so much as a strangled whimper before Ophelia slapped her hand over his mouth." I know who you are," she growled. The man stared at her. The boxes tumbled from his arms, onto the alley floor. Ophelia leaned in further, her eyes narrowing." xX_DemonWrath_Xx. Or shall I call you Ravenfall?"

Azazel blinked. Then, he blinked a few more times, like his brain was having trouble functioning. Suddenly, he grasped her wrist, forcing her hand away. He bared his sharp, extremely white teeth at her, lip curling.

"You! It's you?"

"That's right. It's me! Turns out the girl you blocked is also your greatest fantasy! I bet you're regretting—""No… no!!" Before Ophelia could make another remark, he howled as though he were in great pain, hiding his face in his hands.

"How could you do this to me?" he cried out.

"You've completely ruined my perfect older woman. I didn't add a single six year old that was actually a thousand year old dragon into my story, no vampire lolis, no elves whose minds matured way faster than their bodies—none! All of my female characters were appropriately aged! And Lady Vyx… so perfect…" Ophelia gritted her teeth, glad she had thrown up the silencing bubble as soon as he began crying.

"How could you possibly like Lady Vyx? She tortured children!"

"She wasn't thinking straight," he defended.

"It was the poison!" Ophelia wondered if even he believed that. She took a few steps back to get out of his personal space, crossing her arms.

"You're really the author of the original story?" Azazel slid down the wall morosely, clutching his knees. He looked as though his life had ended. It was somewhat jarring seeing the elegant and charming demon lord act like this, his true pathetic self revealed.

"The one and only," he murmured.

"Why are you in that form? You're a girl, right?" His eyes snapped up to hers, pure bafflement in them.

"Huh? No, I'm definitely a guy." Now, it was her turn to blink in disbelief. The female characters she found so relatable, with exquisite emotional arcs that she'd cried to, she had never even questioned whether the author was a woman. Even the name Ravenfall… Azazel bit the inside of his cheek.

"Yeahhh," he said, sighing.

"I know, I kinda implied certain things, but… you know, I started out writing fantasy harem slop, but as it turns out, men don't really read anymore. All the money is in the female market. I couldn't cut it writing romance, so I tried a progression fantasy starring a female main character… honestly, it did way better than I thought, but most of my readers still ended up being guys." She felt like her world had been shattered.

"Are you serious?" Men were the primary demographic of this story? How could that be possible? He continued, "I couldn't get the power scaling gimmick right. I just gave Rin like every power in the world, had every bad guy start a fight with her, and then had her wipe the floor with them. My audience ate it up everytime." The man looked up at the clouds in the sky.

"The story… it's complete trash." Ophelia felt her fingers twitch. Like her hands were eager to slap him. She couldn't believe she'd died because she had been too engrossed in raging over this guy's work. Ophelia had spent months reading ten years worth of webtoon, and then additional months on top of that engaging with the fanfiction community and the various Slayer's Requiem fan sites. And Ravenfall was speaking about the story so dismissively. About people like her so dismissively.

"How can you write something for ten years and not care about it?" she hissed.

"Money." He paused, then pointed an accusing finger in her direction.

"And to get the record straight, I do care about my story. A lot. It's just that it never went mainstream. I made too many mistakes. But the serial made just enough cash so I felt like I had to continue." He shrugged.

"You seem pretty invested in this. Were you a fan?"

"Somewhat," she lied. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You know, there is also a second, smaller demographic who reads my story. You wouldn't happen to be one of those disaster tumblr lesbians obsessed with shipping everyone together, right?" Ophelia snorted.

"I'm not gay. And no one's used tumblr since they banned porn." He raised a brow.

"So you're straight."

"No," explained Ophelia.

"I'm bi." At his silence, she continued.

"I like girls, catboys, and very pretty anime men. What would you call that?"

"Chronically online." Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

"Well what about you?" she asked defensively.

"The System put me into this body because we had the highest compatibility. I'm guessing the System put you in a body that could fluidly change genders for certain reasons."

"Listen closely. I'm an author. I live many lives through my characters, seeing inside their heads. It makes complete sense why I'm a shapeshifter." Ophelia didn't buy it. She couldn't accept that a man had written her favorite story.

"How did you get transmigrated anyway? Did you die?" she asked. Azazel groaned.

"One of my loser readers—" He paused, looking at Ophelia, and cleared his throat.

"After my story ended, one of my readers was so upset they actually doxxed my location and stabbed me to death. I was so delirious from the blood loss that I couldn't read the system messages- they looked like blue blurs. I woke up in the body of a blond twink with the Duke of the North looming over me. Do you realize how terrified I was? I thought I had isekai'd into a BL! Duke of the North, Duke of the North, that all anyone ever called him. I forgot I even put that cliche into my story.

It took me a full day before I even realized where I was!"

"Good," she said.

"After how you ended the story, that's the least you deserve."

"Honestly, the ending did suck, but I just didn't want people to keep hounding me for a sequel. You know how exhausting it is writing the same story for a decade? Knowing that most prospective readers were bouncing off the first arc because I fucked it up so bad?" He sighed.

"Now, I'm in the story I tried to leave behind. Listen, Lady Vyx— er, what's your name?"

"Ophelia."

"No, I meant–""Ophelia Kalisz," she said.

"Yes, I share the same first name as Lady Vyx."

"Wait— you're Ophelia Kalisz?" he asked.

"As in that super famous influencer chick? Didn't you get—""Weird how you know of me," she interrupted.

"Do you watch my videos?" He held his arms out defensively.

"It's not my fault. I have this stupid younger brother - he's obsessed with you. He prints out pictures of you from his school library and glues them to his wall. You're all he talks about. I swear." Yeah right. That was what they all said. Ophelia pinched the bridge of her nose for a second.

"Alright. Let's figure this out. What kind of System do you have?"

"Uh… a normal one, I think? Do you have something else?" She spent the next ten minutes describing the Master-Apprentice System she had and the Points Shop, which led to the reveal that apparently they were in a webtoon which was being posted god knows where. Azazel's eyes steadily grew wider as the explanation drew on. Apparently, he hadn't known any of this. As soon as she was finished, Azazel queried his System.

"Why don't I have any of these special features?" [Free Trial Accounts do not receive all the benefits of a regular account]"This is so fucking dumb," he muttered.

"Can I upgrade my account?" [You may put in a request]"Who approves the requests? Nevermind, I don't even want to know. Fine." Azazel shook his head.

"I can't believe our actions are being illustrated in a story being read by other people. Maybe this is fate. My chance to do it all over… to get it right, this time. The story still follows Rin, right?"

"Newsflash, demon lord. Maybe you should be more worried about trying to save your own skin. The headmistress already knows you're alive."

"What? She does? Did you tell her?"

"No - she told me. I guess your past self wasn't as slick as he thought he was." She paused.

"Why are you so surprised? Isn't this your story? You plotted all of this out." Azazel rubbed his temples.

"Look, I wrote Azazel dying like seven years ago. I don't remember all the details. Besides, well, I'll be honest, I basically just grind out chapters. I don't remember half the shit I write." Ophelia was stunned. Was it possible she knew more about the plot than the author himself?

"Also, if you've read the story, shouldn't you be worried about yourself too?" he asked.

"Death God Nyxian's apocalypse is triggered by there being too many people in the world pressing up against the level cap, and with Lady Vyx alive, now there's one more. The Divines are actively trying to kill all of the Level 1000s to prevent the apocalypse. You happen to be one of those." Ophelia was unfazed.

"So what? I have Rin. She's literally OP." Azazel blinked. She continued, "By the way, I'm guessing your spiel about having an antidote is fake."

"Yeah, sorry, total bullshit."

"Do you even know what I'm poisoned with?"

"Uhhh…. I mean, I had a worldbuilding document…." Ophelia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Do you still want a one-way ticket to Blue Jewel Island?"

"I changed my mind. I think things here are actually pretty interesting." He smiled at her in a plastic sort of way.

"Wait - I actually have an idea. You're keeping a few other kids with you, right? I love hanging out with kids. Why don't I stick around as your babysitter?"" Hell no."

"Because I'm a guy?"

"Because you're a demon lord! Do you know how fucked I would be if Headmistress Albini found out I was harboring you? Our past selves were scheming together for years - who knows what evidence is lying around? I can't afford to be more suspicious looking!" she said before pausing.

"Plus, I don't trust you. You've already proven to be a poor decision maker—"" What?"

"When you blocked me without a single conversation! Also, you're old. The last time I saw a/s/l was when I tried to help my uncle download tinder. He's like 50!" Just then, a black-haired girl stepped into the alley. Both Ophelia and Azazel froze as red eyes sharply swept over them. Ophelia dispelled the silencing bubble.

"Done with the fitting?" she asked as naturally as possible. Internally, she cursed. The story followed Rin's perspective. Meeting Azazel would definitely make it into the webtoon. Suddenly, Azazel knelt on one knee in front of Rin, gallantly flourishing an arm.

"Excuse me, miss, might you be Rin Rosaris?" Rin's confused gaze met Ophelia's for a moment.

"I don't have a surname. I'm an orphan."

"Well, Young Miss Rin, my name is Duke Ravenfall, and I've been searching for you relentlessly - ever since my dearly beloved friends, your mother and father, were murdered and you vanished without a trace," he said smoothly. A shocked spark lit in those red eyes and Ophelia's stomach dropped.

"When you were born, your parents asked me to be your godfather. To protect you, if anything should happen… after you vanished… well. I've heard mention you have been in Lady Vyx's care for the past year. Undoubtedly, she pampered you. Still… even though you must love her as though she were your own family, and simply knowing you are in perfect health warms my heart, I couldn't possibly turn tail and head back home without at least extending an offer to return with me.

My peach orchards have just ripened - your mother did love them so." Azazel smiled, and this time the gesture wasn't plastic, but bright and charming.

"I would love to share with you all the stories I have about your parents." Ophelia grabbed Rin's wrist and [Warped] straight home, leaving the demon author there kneeling amidst his boxes. Fury twisted her features. Whether Azazel was a man or a woman - Whether he was human or demon - He was a snake.