Chương 74: His Thing Didn't Work

"No. Who gave you permission to speak?" Fang Cheng snapped back to himself. He raised his hand in the air and slapped Hu Tong twice across the face. I had clearly said I was about to start my hypothesis. No interruptions. Why wouldn't the man listen?

"Mr. Hu Tong, this is your first warning. If it happens again, hmph..." Hu Tong's cheeks were swollen. Those two phantom slaps had only intensified the fear in his heart. He dared not speak another word. Fang Cheng nodded in satisfaction and began his hypothetical deduction.

"In Su Mu's confession, I noticed a crucial detail. Han'er met Su Mu first. Only later did Su Mu introduce her to his brother Hu Tong. That is how Han'er met Hu Tong, fell in love with him, and married him. Now, let us begin with our first hypothesis. Assume Han'er is a woman with normal taste. Why would she prefer the ugly brute Hu Tong over the handsome and refined Su Mu? Look at our Great Cult Master Su. Even without that thing, he is still so handsome.

Clearly, he must have been every normal girl's prince charming back then. So why? Does Han'er have a thing for ugly men? No, no, no. A girl, especially one from a noble family like Han'er, would always prefer a handsome man, unless she's blind. The only exceptions are if that ugly guy is richer and more powerful than her family, or if that ugly guy has a huge thing down there and is really good in bed. Our Mr. Hu Tong is clearly from humble origins.

He certainly does not have more money or power than Han'er's family. So she must have been attracted to his huge thing. Am I right, Mr. Hu?" Hu Tong was about to respond, but Fang Cheng slapped him again.

"You do not need to answer. I know what you would say. You would say Han'er fell for your charisma, your inner self. Haha. How laughable. Can your inner self and charisma compare to our Great Cult Master Su? Su Mu used his charisma to recruit tens of thousands of followers to the Stabbing Brotherhood. Can you do that? He is also a man who discovered the truth. Even if that truth is questionable, his inner self is a thousand times nobler than yours. Mr. Hu Tong, I know you disagree.

But listen to what the people in your city say about you. They call you a butcher cultivator, a mad slayer. That shows you have no inner self at all. So it must have been your huge thing that made Han'er fall for you. Now, the new question is: how did Han'er find out that your thing was big and skilled? Did you take her to a brothel and give her a live demonstration? Or did you take her somewhere private, whip it out, and have her gasp, 'Wow, so big. I love it?"

"No. Han'er is not that kind of person. She would not." Su Mu spoke up, his voice hoarse and low, laced with anger. He would not let anyone defile his beloved.

"Correct. Han'er is a woman with normal values." Fang Cheng agreed. Hu Tong wanted to speak but dared not. He really wanted to say to Fang Cheng: weren't we told not to interrupt? Su Mu just interrupted. Why didn't you slap him? Fang Cheng continued, "Good. Our hypothesis is complete. We have concluded that Han'er is a normal person. Now, I will begin my real deduction. Hahahaha..." You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. Fang Cheng was a bird now.

He felt he should make a cheerful chirping sound. But he could not. So he laughed instead. Or perhaps... Hiss, hiss, hiss? No, no, no. He had evolved into a higher form of avian life. He could not make the hissing sounds of an arthropod. Alright. Back to business. Let us reconstruct the truth.

"One dark and stormy night, Han'er did as usual. She drank a cup of beauty tea and went to bed, ready for a good night's sleep. That night, she slept especially soundly. Because the tea had been drugged. Haha. Hu Tong, that was you. You raped Han'er while she was unconscious. When Han'er woke up, she was devastated. She wanted to die. But she was a strong woman. She held on and decided to tell her parents and her beloved Brother Mu about Hu Tong's vile actions. But I, Hu Tong, would not let that happen. Hmph.

Go ahead. Tell your Brother Mu. Do you think he would believe you? Su Mu and I have been brothers for over a decade. He has seen my 'virtuous' character for all those years. But you? Who are you? Han'er, someone he has only known for a few months. Haha. Does your bond with him run deeper than mine? You say I raped you. I say you are a seductive slut who was attracted to my big thing and seduced me. Go on. Go tell your Brother Mu. Let us go together. No. No, he would not.

My Brother Mu, my love~, would not believe you. I love him deeply, and he loves me just as much. How could he believe you? Heh. Love? Do you think we are mortals? How ridiculous. Cultivators do not have love. Su Mu approached you to climb the ranks through your father. I did the same. But he was too weak, too hesitant, like a woman. I am direct. Great cultivators are all simple and direct like me. You should be with me. I am your best choice. I will lead you to immortality. No. Impossible. You shameless wretch.

I would never marry you. Fine. If you refuse, so be it. But I have already raped you. Once I walk out that door, I will spread this news throughout Great Sheng's cultivation circles. Haha. Everyone will say your parents are a model couple, but how did they raise such a shameless daughter? No. Please do not. I do not want my parents to know. I do not want Brother Mu to know. And so, Han'er married Hu Tong. When Su Mu found out, he was heartbroken. He even fell into demonhood. He went to Han'er to ask why.

Han'er answered him like an endless ocean, letting him roam freely in her arms. This wasn't rape; it was a confession of love, a loving act. No words were needed. But Su Mu was a fool. And he was possessed by the demon. He did not understand Han'er's meaning. After waking up, he was full of regret. He went to his brother Hu Tong to apologize. Hu Tong thought, this cannot be. If there is a first time, there will be a second and a third. No, no.

So he pretended to be furious and called in his father-in-law to accuse Su Mu of his vile acts. The father-in-law sighed, looked at his subordinate, and shook his head helplessly. Then Su Mu decisively cut off that thing and left. When Han'er learned of this, she lost all hope and took her own life. Hmph. This is the truth as reconstructed by me, Spirit Bird Acheng. Hu Tong, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Hu Tong had long since fallen silent.

If Fang Cheng's description had not been so exaggerated, he would have suspected Fang Cheng of reading his mind. Su Mu had been slumped on the ground, listening quietly to the entire deduction. He stood up and walked over to Hu Tong. He stared at him silently. The two faced each other. After a long moment, he asked Hu Tong, "Is that how it happened?" Hu Tong still did not answer. Fang Cheng cut in, "Of course it is. Because no crime can escape my sharp eyes. You ask who I am? I am who I am. Spirit Bird Acheng.

The voice of justice!"

"Enough, Fang Cheng! You talk about justice. Justice. Haha. How ridiculous. This world has never needed justice!" Hu Tong exploded. He too was about to fall into demonhood. Why should the two of you be covered in demonic energy while I cannot? My morality is a hundred times, a thousand times, ten thousand times more corrupt than yours! My demonic energy should be a hundred times, a thousand times, ten thousand times greater than yours!

"Whether human or cultivator, we should do evil. Haha. Even the Emperors of the celestial realm climbed their way up through wicked, vicious, and despicable means. What is wrong with what I did? Su Mu, answer me! No. You do not need to answer. Look at the array beneath your feet. Look at the countless lives that have died. They all deserved to die! Hahaha. If they had not died, how could we have reached the upper three realms? Yes. I raped Han'er. And then she married me. Hahaha. Perfectly reasonable.

And you, Su Mu, also had relations with her. Also perfectly reasonable. Did I ever blame you? No. Never. Good job. Well done. Too bad, Su Mu. You were one step behind me. So I had to ask you to leave. You know me, Su Mu. We were brothers for over a decade. But Han'er, that bitch. She deserved to die. Even after we were married, she still did not understand me. On top of that, she mocked me, saying my thing was not as good as yours. Heh. I had no choice but to let her die."

At that moment, Fang Cheng pulled out his trusty notebook and jotted down the killer's motive: "Hu Tong's thing did not work."