Chương 38: What Should I Feel

Ren pushed open the manor doors with Baozhai at his side, feeling the warm breeze on his damp hair. Not much time was left for the winter, truth to be told, and yet the weather was only getting better and warmer. Truly a perfect day for having a feast.

"You're this happy to beat them all into pulps?" Baozhai teased at the sight of Ren walking with a spring in his step.

"What can I say, a little sweat after a nice meal actually feels lovely," Ren answered, eyes on the half-vanished sun bleeding into the horizon.

"Especially when I'm this close to Foundation Establishment." A ball of spiritual energy converged in his palm, twisting and turning. His lips curled. Tonight was the night. Baozhai arched a brow.

"Do you need protection? What if you caused a tribulation?" Ren barked out a laugh.

"Nah, what tribulation? Please. If a mere Foundation Establishment could call one down, then the heavens must've lost their damn mind." Her golden eyes studied him for a moment. The corner of her lips was twitching, almost a smile, almost a warning, as if telling him to mind his words.

"If certain someone can rebuild his foundation, then let alone the heavens— this very world may as well surrender to madness," she muttered, then shook her head, letting it drop.

"It'd be great to witness it, but I've got to be at a…"

"Feast, huh?" Ren interjected, catching her unfinished words. He avoided her glaring eyes.

"Xue Tian caught something fascinating for tonight. I'm pretty sure everyone will be thrilled." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"How did you…" She stopped herself, exhaling softly.

"Kitchen gossip, hmph. You must've heard from Master Lei." Without waiting for his reply, Baozhai stepped on the air, her dress glimmering under the orange light.

"Then I expect to see a Foundation tomorrow morning." Watching from behind, Ren chuckled to himself and shrugged. She really likes to leave me hanging. Though his smile disappeared not much later, his gaze turned toward the other side of the sect. Eh, just because I avoided it once doesn't mean I can forever. His steps dragged as he finished the stairs, crossed the sect grounds, and chatted with a few fellow disciples. The road seemed never-ending, and each courtyard seemed longer than the last.

Yet his feet carried him, even if his mind whispered excuses. Toward Judgment Hall, toward the guest manor where the old man waited. By the time he arrived, the lanterns there were guttering low, shadows long across the stone. There were no guards in sight, and even the very air felt silent. The breeze had disappeared before he noticed it. The guest manor loomed ahead, its doors shut. Ren slowed, steadying his breath. He also closed his palm with the ball and felt the spiking spiritual energy climbing.

[Daily Watering: 55/55] [Growth: 2499/10000] Yes… I cheated. I'm not proud, but less than half a cookie doesn't count, right? Iceberg wouldn't think about murdering me in my sleep if she learns… I hope… He shivered at the thought, but he had to admit he couldn't hold himself back. Furthermore, he wanted to learn if he could abuse the cookies all the way to completion at once. Unfortunately, just like the Bluerbly Tea, he felt so full before he could finish even half of it.

Clearly, the little sapling couldn't stomach it anymore. Anyway, he had reached his goal, and the only thing left to take care of was this visit. Afterward, he could return to his backyard and breakthrough in silence. So Ren took a deep breath and suppressed the faint silver light on his body. Another neat trick he learned when his progression in the Moondevouring skill hit three. He could delay the automatic breakthrough process, although only in timing.

In other words, it gave him a chance to stall in a dangerous situation, but never beyond sunrise. Maybe I can if I comprehend the Moonwalker to the second level. Thinking of this, he called the system. [Moonwalker - lvl 1] [Skill progression bar: 5/10] Ren rubbed the back of his neck, sighing, his feet already paused at one point. He was stalling. But he really didn't know how to face the old man. Sure, he'd done his part. Justice had been served, and he had proved himself.

However, no amount of revenge will bring back that poor girl. Just as he hesitated to take another step, someone emerged through the shadows of the manor. Slim, tall, and curvy enough to make people question whether it was the reality or just a play of shadows. She leaned lazily against the gate, half of her face veiled in darkness, crimson eyes gleaming through as though declaring who she was to the whole world.

"You sure took your sweet time, Reny. I was beginning to think you'd never show," said Demoness, licking her cherry-colored lips, the contrast with her pale skin creating an alluring sight.

"Must be nice— shoving all the work on us and then hanging out with the kids and Baozhai. Ah, that… burger, was it? It looked delicious." Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. Unfortunately, the target audience wasn't buying it.

"Yeah, yeah, nice bullshit." Ren shrugged with a mocking smile, his eyes narrowing.

"You meant to say you shoved all the work to Frostbite, stalked me like a lunatic, got here just before me to complain and make me sympathetic so you can steal one of the cookies. Am I right?"

"Heh, nice imagination there— Yes, you're absolutely right! You're always right, our generous and magnanimous Leader!" Catching the cookie out of the air with lightning speed, Demoness turned 180 degrees instantly. Even the crimson shade in her gaze softened.

"Mmm… It's really delicious… I never expected you to be good with desserts, too. Maybe not at the same level as Master Lei, but this is enough too. I can't make him my personal chef after all…"

"So you think you can make me?" Ren rolled his eyes, but felt warm inside. He knew why she had come and why she was acting like this. This silly girl… His back suddenly drenched in cold sweat. Noticing her frozen glare mid-bite, Ren took a covert step back.

"Why is this…" she whispered, voice trembling, crimson hair rising to the air on its own, "just HALF?!" Little reminder: never trick a foodie.

"Why?! Why are you so cruel?!" Demoness started, half delirious, half aggrieved, shaking him from his collar at the same time.

"Am I not enough for a whole cookie? Is it more precious than me?! You selfish prick!"

"H-h-hey! It's just a cookie…" Ren muttered weakly.

"Just a cookie?" Straightening him for a moment, her eyes deepened until it felt like blood might gush from them.

"If anyone else had done what you had done… I'd have flayed them alive. You bastard! I even protected you for so long, and what did I get? A half-eaten cookie!" Ren forced a dry laugh, but his spine tingled for real. That tone wasn't playful in the slightest.

"Fine, fine. Here, take one more."" Yesh! Thansskh uy… ohm nam nam… ugh! Wyat!"

"Slow down, you're gonna choke." Ren flicked her forehead, but seeing that it didn't have any effect, he couldn't help but let out a weary chuckle. At least she is easy to coax, unlike our Stormqueen or Witch. Both of them are too stubborn. He suddenly froze and shot a glance at her.

"Wait, you said you protected me for so long. What did you mean by long…?" Demoness raised a finger for him to wait, tucked the last piece into her mouth, and chewed it without hurry. She then gave him a smug look.

"Heh, finally realized," she smirked, patting him on the shoulder.

"Even though I had to dump all the work to Frostbite, I always watched you. Why did you think that worm, so desperate to be a great serpent, backed off? That coward Shadow couldn't scare a stray dog, much less him."

"That glance he shot at darkness…" Ren muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, rubbing his chin.

"He noticed you then, right?"

"Yeah, I was ready to beat that insolent fool, but that fucker beat me to it. What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Seeing Ren's intense gaze, she shrugged and licked her fingers as if unwilling to forget the cookies' taste. So all this time… Was I never truly alone? A tense silence settled in between them as Ren didn't know what to say. This feeling… cared from the shadows was… unfamiliar. And strange. If he had to be honest, he would say it felt— Good in a weird way? Also warm.

The kind that spread from his chest to all his body. His stiff shoulders relaxed a bit, and he let out a chuckle at last.

"Why are you laughing?" Demoness glared with confused eyes.

"Nothing," Ren said, stepping past her. He shouldn't delay it anymore and return to check up on his brats. He wanted them not to miss the Foundation establishment process.

"Let's go, or we will find a sleeping old man."

"Mortals and their frail physiques… blink, and they've already gone." Ren breathed in deep, hands tightening on the handle. The silence beyond the door felt too stifling, the hesitation creeping back. He pushed them open in one move. A heavy groan rang out as the door swung open, the sound rolling into the chamber and echoing from wall to wall until the silence swallowed it again. Ren stood in the darkness, the moon peeking out little by little behind him, casting just enough light to show a few steps ahead.

Demoness stepped beside him, giving a long, searching look at the house before nodding.

"Eh, seems like we're late. Why don't we go back? Have a grill, maybe? I heard late-night snacks are—""Shh…" Ren pressed his finger over her extended head and pushed back, his gaze grave.

"Have you noticed? There's no sound of breathing." He had barely finished when Demoness frowned, an overbearing spiritual energy erupting and covering the building.

"No life," she muttered before her gaze shot up to the second floor.

"Wait, there's a deep resentment coming from there." Don't tell me… Ren sprang forward at once, yet each step carried an unease as though he tread upon a thin sheet of ice. Crystal lamps lining the walls flared to life while he walked, casting a faint glow ahead. But with the light came shadows. Longer. Threatening. Playing games on his mind. The guest house, once welcoming in his memories, no longer carried the warmth he knew; it pressed in on him instead.

From the walls, painted eyes stirred, following, judging, watching his every motion. He reached the bedroom's double doors at last, Demoness never more than a step behind him; her wailing mask had appeared at some point he didn't notice. Ren absentmindedly thought about donning his mask as well, but pushed open the doors before he could decide. The doors creaked wide, and light spilled across the chamber. The smell hit first— thick, smoky, almost sweet.

It curled from a half-burned pot on the table, its tendrils clinging to the air as though refusing to leave. A half-empty box stood aside, Sambrani incense written on it. A ritual of cleansing, of farewell. A chair lay overturned by the window, illuminated by the moon. Upon it, the old man. His posture upright, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side, a rope coiled taut above him. Thin lines traced on his worn face softened into something that almost looked like peace with the curve in his lips.

The black brand had faded, but it didn't disappear. Ren froze. His breath caught in his throat, chest rising but never falling. Demoness's mask tilted, unreadable, yet he felt the glimmer in her gaze sharpen. Following her line of sight, he noticed the smoke dragged toward the corners, where the shadows writhed and stretched, draining its vibrant aroma. The old man's resentment lingered like a stain, twisting the dark itself. Ren stepped forward once, then stopped, his fists clenched so tight his knuckles ached.

The heavy fragrance filled his lungs, stifling his breath. For a fleeting moment, he wished he had put on his mask. Anything to shield himself from this. It's not your fault. He said to himself, but the hands twisting in his gut didn't agree. You did your part, and you can't demand that he live with such a trauma. And you don't even know him. Then why did it hurt so much? He lowered his head and stared at the rune scroll in his hand. A brand eraser.

Thousands of thoughts erupted at the same time, clashing and devouring each other, claiming his mind as their battlefield. Yet it only took a few moments for one of them to declare its supremacy over the others. Ren forced himself to exhale. A long, deep sigh cleansed his burning lungs before a whisper escaped through his clenched teeth.

"The rope…" His crimson eyes, murky with darkness, bore holes into Demoness's skull.

"Where the hell did he get it?"