Chương 16: That Question: Why

'Welcome back to your home, child.' Just a simple, family-smelling greeting. Then why did Ren feel like choking underneath it? And why did it resemble someone he knew so well? [It's been two whole years. Welcome back to your home, child. Mother missed you.] He felt as if that demure, gentle woman watching from his back smiled and whispered in his ears. [You've gotten thinner. How many times must I remind you to take care of yourself?] She always worried about his health as she knew he wouldn't even eat if he had focused on doing one thing right. And this worry was echoed by Master Gao's voice. [Make sure you don't stop making time for yourself.]"I—" Ren sputtered. Seeing the silent pride in the old man's eyes made his breath catch in his chest.

"I'm… I'm home, old man." Master Gao just nodded, frowning absentmindedly, before he shoved him toward the barrier, his frail arms carrying irresistible force.

"Take your disciple and do what you need to," he said, waving a hand to pull Liuxue too. Clicking his tongue, his tone turned grumpy.

"This old man needs to take care of a few uninvited guests. As if they can smell trouble, filthy dogs."

"I can help!" Ren didn't think and tried to turn, but Master Gao just pushed him harder; the barrier was already open.

"They can't stop me—""I know, child. But leave these troublesome matters to us old folks." The old man smiled before the barrier isolating section eight closed upon them. At the last moment, Ren caught a glimpse of two figures soaring up through the open space of the spiraling staircase— Elder Ye and Elder Jia. Bastard dogs of the Heavenly Master Peak! He felt his rage erupt like a volcano and took out his token. But the barrier refused to budge, even when he used his override authority function.

He knew only the overseer of the library had the right to disable even the sect master's token, which meant Master Gao was firm in his stance to shield him. Unless he found a way to bypass the barrier, something even a Soul Formation cultivator couldn't imagine. What about a Primordial tree's skill? Ignoring the confused Liuxue, Ren activated Phantom State. His slumbering moonlight energy roared to life, and that dislodged-from-the-entire-world sensation enveloped his being.

He reached out tentatively, letting his fingers meet the surface of the barrier, and the moment they brushed it— His fingers slipped through. His lips curled into a devilish grin. This is my problem, old man, I can't just simply throw it at you. I'm not the same child. However, the barrier turning crimson didn't give him enough time to rejoice. At the same time, he felt his consumption of energy suddenly skyrocket, and his pitiful reserve was depleted before he could understand what happened. His hand bounced back.

"Fucking hell!" He punched the barrier in a vain attempt, his muscles tensed to the limit. The barrier didn't ripple. Its color faded back to normal, and all Ren received in return was a sharp throb in his fist. It hurt, but looking on the bright side, it grounded him, forcing his thoughts back into order Calm down, you idiot. Staring at his trembling fingers, Ren took deep breaths. He pushed through the unease in his mind, and the question quickly revealed itself. Why did I get so angry?

It wasn't—couldn't be— just the elders. He'd already expected someone trying to stop him when he decided to choose section eight, though they arrived far quicker than he expected. Someone must've informed them as soon as I left the section sixth. It wasn't strange that they sent Elder Ye and Elder Jia. They loathed his soul brother with every fiber of their being as he crushed them more than a few times, but Ren had no personal hatred toward them. Heck, he only knew them thanks to the memories…

Something clicked in his mind just then. The hatred. The uncontrollable boiling in his blood. The desire to crush them beneath his feet. None of these is mine. His neck tightened. How much of his emotions were messed up by the memories? Or worse, was he… still the same person? Or did he already change into a grotesque mix of both sets of memories? What if… they are all just mine? A question he was always scared to ask himself showed itself as if smelling a weakness. What if both of them are just… me?

What if I just awakened my last life's memories and lost myself in a personality disorder? No, Ren paused, placing his hand firmly on the center of his chest, the fabric bunching up under his tight grip. He felt the blazing but also gentle fire underneath. We aren't the same. The words. They were burning, as if they wanted to reassure him that he was still there. Still watching over him. At the same time, a panel appeared in front of him. [Ding! Detected that host has an unusual fluctuation in lifecore.] [Ding! Temporary measurement applying.] [New daily watering rate: twenty-five points a day] [Warning: Missing daily watering may weaken host's vitality and cause unforeseen circumstances.]"Oh, lovely, this is exactly what I was missing!"

"Senior brother?" This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. Liuxue's hesitant voice made him let out a deep sigh and sweep away the questions to a corner. Let's fucking leave this to another time as well, he thought, while glancing at the barrier. One more debt on the pile, eh? You did well, old man. Ren turned around, his face once again composed, at least he hoped it was so.

"Yes, Iceberg?" She tilted her head, gaze unreadable.

"This… is your daily life?"

"Yeah," he frowned a little, but shrugged at last.

"You can't please everyone. Some will like you, others won't. Especially when it involves privileges and resources." She remained silent, so Ren instinctively shook his head.

"Don't worry, they are just a bunch of buzzing flies, annoying but mostly harmless," he said, taking wide steps to the bookshelves. Contrary to the belief that higher sections hold fewer volumes, section eight spanned five full floors of books. But only one shelf was allocated for the sect's own techniques, covering their most important inheritances coming from the Founders and successive sect masters.

"You see all these books?" Ren waved his hand, trying to distract himself.

"They all actually obtained from the other sects, including demonic and thronebonded ones. Not so glorious considering how much blood was shed for acquiring them, but still an impressive collection." He approached the 'Supreme' labeled shelf covered in golden runes and standing right before the entrance. Heavenly Serenity Technique stood at the forefront in its full glory. Beside it rested two tomes of tanned beast-skin, lashed together with cords disturbingly similar to sinew.

And Ren took them without hesitation."' Teaching Solid Foundations to Beginners— for Dumdums Edition. Writer: Benevolent Asura," he muttered, rubbing the crimson one's cover.

"'Teaching Extensively Solid Foundations to Absolute Beginners— For Emptyheads Edition. Writer: exclusively Empress Wen'. I never thought I had to read these." Liuxue came beside him, raising a brow.

"Don't even start," Ren said, flashing his token to the books before he shoved them into his spatial ring.

"Master bragged about them for years, and even threatened to beat me with one of them if I skipped a page before taking a disciple." He let out a weary sigh. Fortunately, Liuxue didn't comment. I feel grateful for her silence in these kinds of moments, to be honest. He then took the floor-stairs until he arrived at the last floor, the last shelf.

"Here it is: Frostveil Requiem Method, one of the first additions to the library. This dusty goodie here might be a few hundred thousand years old, looks like time forgot about this one." He retrieved a book in the shape of a coffin, with a real skull attached to its surface. It bore no title, no author, no markings— as empty as what it represented.

"I'm not sure if you know the founding story of the sect, but since we're stuck here till Master Gao takes care of those idiots, let me kill some time," he said, plopping himself onto a reading couch at the side.

"Supreme Judgment Sect actually didn't emerge from this continent," he dropped the bombshell, expecting her to show a change. Futile effort.

"After the first founder trio acquired the sect insignia, while they were messing around with learning how to be a proper sect, a zombie epidemic occurred, forcing them to relocate."

"What's a zombie?" Liuxue asked, sitting on the opposite couch. Unlike Ren, who had sprawled out comfortably, she perched on its very edge, like a bird of prey ready to take off at any moment.

"An undead, basically," Ren coughed, hiding his slip.

"Someone corrupted beyond redemption by the death energy. They don't have any awareness and hate any living being."

"What's the difference between a fiend and a… zombie?"

"Well," Ren rubbed his chin.

"The main difference lies in their intelligence. Fiends, even though they're hell-bent on destroying everything, show hints of a civilization— one only they seem to understand. Of course, compared to us, they're a little better than cavemen, but they still have a hierarchy and live in small communities." He couldn't help but smirk in disdain.

"Undead, on the other hand? They're just mindless monsters." Seeing her nod, he continued with the story, "Anyway, that disaster seemed to have a difference from standard undead outbreaks: a being who can whisper life back into the dead."

"Corpse Shepherd," she finished his words with a wince. Cool name, but necromancer is still cooler.

"The newly-established sect nearly got destroyed in that monster's hands and its endless army." He paused, his tone deepening. He recited from memory, "When the death-storm knocked at their door, cold and wrathful; when the Asura fell while standing tall, when the Empress was beaten in her own game— fear ran amok. Only the Keeper was there to bear the burden: his chest a shield against lightning, his arms divine pillars holding the fallen sky, and his blood like water, putting out the fires in empty sockets.

That day, an undying died, an immortal born." Liuxue's mouth opened with a hint of awe.

"Impressive, right?" Ren chuckled, putting the coffin-like book on the table between them.

"And we got this baby from that Corpse Shepherd, though we had to modify most of it as its main focus is making the body undying by forcing it to die countless times. A total of fourteen generations worked on it, and only then did the sect manage to create a partially safe method."

"Why?" she muttered, her sharp brows knitting into a frown.

"You could destroy it and call it a day. Why did the sect spend generations of resources just for the sake of it?" Instead of answering, Ren lifted his hand to show around him.

"Think about it: we have a section like this, filled with other sects' techniques, even though we can't use them as they would create trouble, but we still have them. Why?" Her gaze quickly swept through the shelves, searching for the answer. It didn't take long.

"To learn their nature?" Ren smiled in satisfaction.

"A wise man once said: if you want to win, start by learning who you're fighting." Thinking this much lore was enough, he took out his token and placed it beside the book.

"As you know, I can let you learn this book, despite the restrictions. It's a hassle I'd rather avoid, to be honest. But then again, it's the only variable I can see at the moment." His words seemed to trigger something in her that Ren was quite familiar with. Everything comes with a bloody price. She knows this. Her face reflected the conflicting emotions she had, but he could see the resolve taking the upper hand.

"What is the thing you're trying to get us ready for?" she asked, scowling deeply.

"Even if I have unusual roots, I shouldn't be important enough for someone like you to take notice, let alone clash against elders for my sake. There must be a reason."

"And are you sure you want to learn?" Ren asked doubtfully.

"I need to know exactly what kind of trouble I'm gonna walk into." Ren glanced at her, this time for real. She wasn't some pretty flower cultivated in a greenhouse, unlike Ruolan or Wenhai. Her frail but alert body spoke volumes, the scar on her neck sealing the statement. Starting just below her chin, trailing down past her collarbone, and then vanishing into the folds of her robe, it had the look of a bonecrusher blade's work— not something righteous cultivators were ever keen to use.

Only mortals, playing a dangerous game at the edge of demonic cultivation, would prefer something like that. I guess she deserves to know.

"Have you ever heard of the Trial of Thorns?" he asked, his gaze turning heavy. She just shook her head.

"It's a sick game of survival, created just for the amusement of a few so-called immortals. Its rewards mostly concern the distribution of resources among sects and the like, but also include some amazing boons that can make your journey much easier. Once every ten years, every sect must send five disciples there, no matter how small or weak they are, and they are rewarded according to how long their disciples survive. Ah, also, a ton of demonic sects and fiends will be thrown inside just to make things 'exciting'.

Though their rewards are different and more solid: staying alive."

"What kind of dangers does it involve?"

"We don't know, it changes every time," Ren answered curtly.

"And I can't talk about what I experienced, there's a special seal for that."

"Then why us?" she asked, her face darkening more and more.

"Isn't it better to choose older disciples with more experience and power?"

"The rules won't allow it. Only disciples accepted in the three years before the Trial commenced can participate."

"And our batch is chosen," she muttered, voice cold. She leaned back at last, rubbing her forehead.

"I can finally understand why you're going so far for me. You need a weapon, and as you said, I'm the best candidate. But what if I refuse? What if I don't wanna be a sacrificial piece for the sect?"

"You can." Her brows shot up.

"Actually, this works better for me. I can just reject by saying I see no hope and dump this cursed task on someone else. Then they'll find someone disposable." He just shrugged, despite the inner turmoil he had. I feel more and more like a bastard politician.

"You know, senior brother, this part doesn't fit for the 'we're a family' theme of the sect," she uttered, her lips curling a little.

"But this works better for me. You see, I never managed to wrap my mind around the whole 'perfect society of immortals' concept. Seeing that it only has a pretty surface, but is infected by sickly darkness underneath— I find it... strangely relieving."