Chương 65: Chapter 62 - A Long Ride Home

They left the waystation nearly as soon as Juwon arrived, with a few quick farewells left behind. Nobody really liked riding in the rain, especially the never ending drizzle that was monsoon season. At least when it rained in the spring it did so in great buckets, so thick that no man, woman, or horse could even dream of going out. But the monsoon wasn't like that. Instead, the blanketed grey sky wept in a continuous stream of annoying droplets.

The unwary could be tricked into thinking that stepping out into it would result in little more than wet hair, but would soon find themselves shivering and drenched to the bone. At least, nobody but the horses. Bongbong shifted from a steady trot to a bouncing gait, chuffing merrily as his hooves sent up arcing sprays of water. Song sighed and brought his steed back to heel for the fifth time this trip by a gentle squeeze of the knees.

The monsoon occurred like clockwork at the end of every summer, when the Everstorm – the massive qi-infused eternal typhoon that sat over the western ocean– spun clouds heavy with water qi out over the continent of Lemuria. This was the main reason for the heavy forests and jungles of Songs homeland. In contrast, the continent of Huoyan received a drought heavy in fire qi, leading to a more arid desert climate.

The water sloughed off his father's borrowed grasswolf cloak, and Song absently checked the buttons over his stomach as memory of the cold flashed through his head. Juwon rode just ahead of him, silent since they'd left the waystation. Song didn't quite know what to make of it. He'd never seen his eldest brother quite so withdrawn. After their father, Juwon styled himself the most as the prototypical aloof cultivator.

Of course, Song didn't believe it for an instant, he knew what Juwon was really like, but he understood why the illusion could be important for the man who would one day become the Patriarch of the Lee family. However, Juwon had never directed that at him before, and it was disconcerting. He brought Bongbong alongside Juwon's horse, raising his voice to be heard above the dribbling of raindrops.

"Is everything well at home? Why are we in such a hurry to return?" Juwon glanced over at his youngest sibling, a smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"It's not that. It's that everyone is in a hurry to see you. Mae most of all."

"How is she?" Song asked. Juwon looked ahead, pursing his lips.

"She's recovering. But she's pushing everyone away, and keeps asking for you. Given the circumstances… it's best that you come home as soon as possible." Uh oh. Song didn't like the sound of that. He pursed his lips.

"What are you hiding Juwon? Don't think you can keep secrets from me." Juwon laughed.

"Tae's been rubbing off on you. No, no secrets, but it's probably best if Mae tells you directly. She's been through… a lot." Worse and worse. A knot was beginning to form in Song's belly. Juwon spurred his horse into a canter, and Song followed suit a moment later. Their horses happily picked up the pace, allowing the dribble to turn into a whipping gale as their hooves pounded the flat plains into muddy puddles. — An hour of silence later, Song couldn't take it anymore.

He sent Bongbong ahead, then brought him to a halt in front of Juwon. His brother pulled up on the reins, bringing his own steed to a slippery screeching halt. He arched an eyebrow at Song, asking, "What?" The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

"Don't you 'what' me, Juwon," Song snapped.

"You're wound tighter than Hunter Iseul's bowstring. What's going on? What are you hiding from me?!" Juwon sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You've barely said more to me than 'Hello!'" Song snapped.

"I killed five grasswolves, and fought off a foundation level Demonic Beast. I've been on an adventure in the Gangho and you haven't even asked about it! Yes, it's obvious. Are you angry at me?" Juwon sighed heavily once more, his shoulders slumping. He swung his horse around Bongbong and gestured at Song to fall in beside him.

"It's not you, it's me," Juwon fiddled with his horns. It was a habit he shared with their father whenever they were worried. ["Hooey. If he's breaking up with you, I don't want to be here,"] Cyrus quipped. ["Quiet."] Song shot back. To his brother he said, "What is it?" A sudden icy chill trickled down Song's back, and not from the rain.

"Don't tell me you have qi-poisoning do you?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Juwon waved his brother's concern away like a bad smell.

"I'm fine. It's not anything you need to be concerned over. It's for me to deal with."

"Fool!" Song snapped vehemently, surprising both himself and Juwon, who hiccuped.

"Are we not brothers? What family would I be if I let you drown simply because you did not wish to bother anyone by shouting for help??"

"But you're –""If you say I'm a child, or that I'm the youngest, I swear I will reach behind Bongbong and stuff your mouth full of horseshit," Song growled. ["Ewwwww…"] Cyrus groaned. Juwon laughed. He reached over and ruffled Song's hair, before drawing back as Song batted him away.

"I'm sorry little brother! You're right, you're not a child anymore. Perhaps that's why I'm more afraid to talk about this. It's easier to be open to a child than it is to a young warrior of the clan." Song's mouth snapped shut at that. Now there was something he hadn't considered. In his rush to be acknowledged as a man and a warrior of the clan, he hadn't considered the distance that it put between himself and his brothers.

He'd always thought nothing would ever change between them, but now, looking at Juwon and the subtle distance between them, he saw that it already had changed, he just hadn't realized it.

"I'm… afraid. No, that's wrong. Conflicted," Juwon said, his eyes staring off in the direction of the still unseen Changpo.

"What about?" Juwon bit his lip.

"All my life, I've always been proud of my ability to think logically, to use my head while my peers thought with their guts, or their – ahem." He reddened, cleared his throat again, then continued, "That analytical nature was my greatest strength. I know I'm not the greatest cultivator. Watching my little brother overtake me in leaps and bounds in just a month has driven that home."

"Juwon," Song protested, "that was because I got lucky! If you had a master and got a treasure –""That's not the problem, and you know as well as I do that cultivation has as much to do with luck as skill," Juwon held out a placating hand.

"No. The problem… is that I now wonder if that's what our clan needs. I've lost confidence that I'll be a better young leader than Seojoon." You could have heard a horse fart, but for the pitter-patter of the rain. Song stared at his brother with a mixture of disbelief and growing unease. It was like he was watching Mount Tai crumble into dust, seeing his most steadfast and stoic brother fall apart before him. At least Cyrus was blessedly silent.

"Why?" Song asked, simple and to the point. Juwon slowed down once more, rubbing his horse in the spot it liked between the ears. The big brown beast whuffled happily, arching into the scratch.

"When we were all gathered to discuss Mae's fate, I was considering the ramifications. The costs, and the benefits to the clan that she represented," Juwon's voice was nearly a whisper, and Song had to lean in to listen.

"My Dao is one of the steadfast tree. Not even the Bulgasari could drive me from my course. And in that moment…. when Seojoon was willing to throw away his pride and his future and you offered to risk it all, I considered leaving Mae to her fate. I agreed with Auntie and the others – one small non-cultivator child did not match the cost or danger to our clan." Juwon did look at Song then, and his eyes were empty.

"I would have let her die."