Chương 435: Day Four Hundred And Thirty-Three

Dear Diary,"I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb." - Keanu Reeves Yeah, I mentioned that some of Mr. Reeves quotes speak to me, and sure as shit this is one of them. I mean, yeah, I get it, I read a lot, and I can almost follow the bouncing ball when Saffron slows her brain down to an idle to let me chase her mental supercar while it coasts to a stop. Which usually leads to me catching her bumper in my mouth and then wondering what to do with it.

I mean, other than leaving teeth marks and making her squeal and laugh. I also hope I'm smart enough to outthink a certain unpleasant individual or three, but that might have more to do with what passes for my thought process being so chaotic and random that I can only follow it one time in three, and I'm the one doing the thinking. But whether it's caused by lack of processing power, lack of ability to be coherent, or being easily distracted by food, Saffron, or Saffron covered in food, I am in fact a dumbass.

I wouldn't say I'm a meathead, because that's got certain connotations that I don't associate with myself, but I wouldn't be mad just because someone else called me one, especially after spending some quality time with my favorite pair of himbos. Lachlan might be a meathead, might not, I'm not sure, but Carruthers? Yeah, that man is high quality beef from crown to crotch. Okay, I guess he's pretty beefy below that, but I'm not really into feet, so I haven't looked. Also I've never seen an attractive guy knee.

No idea why. Saffron's knees are adorable, and the way she reacts to me playing with them puts it high on my list of leisure time activities. Marie's knees are both complex and intriguing, what with the whole furry feline digitigrade thing, and where Saffron gets all squeaky shading into deep and abiding need for canoodling with intent, Marie just melts into a fuzzy purring fluid, like cats are wont to do. But guy knees? I dunno, man, they're just kinda there.

I guess I ought to put in some kind of official commendation to guy knees in general for playing their part in making me feel like the top of my head is about to pop off in a good way, but the visual? Just not my thing, I guess. Wow. I guess somebody gave my moral compass a good solid whack, or maybe topped off the fluids, because it definitely spun around pretty quick from 'I'm dumb, just like my boy Keanu' to 'sexy times for all' with a side of 'deep introspection over overlooked body parts'.

Which is just more evidence for my point, I guess, about how whether or not my brain is capable of high speed processing, it's complete inability to stay on task places me squarely in the dumbass section of the mental spectrum. So Saffron and I got home a little later than normal, but way earlier than I'd been getting home over the past few. We snuggled into the big old pile of warm bodies, and Saffron murmured, "I love you, Goof," right before she started snoring.

I snuggled her in, wrapping myself around her like a body pillow, then dropped off to sleep myself. Mimic dreamt of macramé. I got no fuckin' clue. In the morning, one of the other Maenads stood in for Marie as the rest of them converged on her with the combs and brushes and, I think, some claws and teeth and tongues as well. Like, seriously, they were bathing her, not getting freaky, which I appreciated since they were doing it right there as we washed the kids, but it still weirded me out a little.

I think it was mainly someone other than Saffron and the kids and I pampering her. You okay, Mittens? Nostalgic. I smiled and nodded at her, just to make sure she knew I wasn't upset. Previous days the Maenads had gotten themselves pretty well groomed, what with nothing in the Lancaster House suites being shabby, the comb and brush set being no exception.

But any grooming of Marie had just been one of them pairing off with her; that just made sense, since it's way easier to have somebody else comb your hair than it is to comb your own, and when that hair includes fur all the way down your back, that's just more reason to need a partner. But this was obviously the group of them reuniting with... not a friend. The body language didn't fit that. Not, like, they were enemies or even anything distant, like estranged family or something.

No, this was way more like a bunch of siblings pampering... holy shit, I'd just realized, it was totally what the kids did when they all ganged up on her to comb her. The body language was way more formal, a lot more adult, but they still all gave off a 'everybody pampering big sister' vibe. Marie, are you the oldest Maenad? She shook her head, which had all the rest looking at me for some reason. I raised an eyebrow, and she sighed. Third. Were you, like, the third Maenad ever?

That got a frown and a sense of deep, heart wrenching loss that had me picking up my current bundled kiddo, walking over to Marie, and putting my arms around her. She took Daya from my arms and snuggled her. The rest of the Maenads had looked a little testy when I walked over, and maybe just a touch murderous when Marie collapsed onto me, but if they thought I was gonna let my Mittens cry without me there to hold her, they could fuck off and die twice.

If she didn't want me here, she could tell me her own damn self. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

"Six." she sobbed into my ear. I held her while the rest of them crouched around us, and all the adult women in the room froze. Well, all except Saffron, who kept scrubbing at some dirt Liam had managed to get behind his ear.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Marie shrugged, so I whispered, "what happened?"

"Poseidon." I'd never heard quite so much venom in Marie's voice before. Two of the other Maenads in the room snarled, low and angry, their tails lashing. I just rocked her as she held Daya to her chest.

"One question, Mittens?" When she looked at me, I asked, "Do I shove his head up his own ass, or do you want me to hold him down while you do it?" I'm not sure they took me as deadly serious as I was being, but Marie smiled and snuggled into my neck, where the marks where she'd bit me were still purpling, and purred out, "Watch."

"You got it, Mittens. Just let me know if you want me to feed him his own arms first." At that point that crazy little bastard Liam walked right up behind the Maenad closest to the tub, trailing a towel from my stack behind him. He reached up and gently touched her hip, where her skirts would be if she'd been wearing any, with his fingertips.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but could you help me? Isnomi's Mama normally does it, but she's busy right now?" I sighed, and Saffron's quiet voice filled the room.

"And so we're reminded, life goes on, ladies. As it ever does. Let me know if you want to be there when Tabitha corrects the Earthshaker's existence, or if you'd like any mementos. She'll be glad to render them for you, but if you tell her before then, she'll likely forget, and on the day she's likely to be a touch distracted." Before I could even attempt to defend my reputation with the Maenads, kids, or refugee women, Marie purred out, "Truth."

So the Maenads filled in for me on drying duty while I rocked Marie gently. I stood watch solo today, because our kids all decided she needed to be bundled into bed and fed random shit they brought up from the kitchen. The Maenads concurred, although they brought back way more cuts of meat than pastries. She tried to feed me a couple of them as I held her, but I wasn't having none of it. Marie pampering day was Marie pampering day. Saffron and I went by ourselves to the construction site.

"With Marie on 'being pampered' duty, why didn't we bring the boys again?" She smiled up at me.

"Other than not being in the mood to be ogled while I canoodle with you? Or while you practice your fine control?"

"Uh..."

"I want you to practice some more today, and they might be a little confused as to why the High Priestess of Loki is commanding Mimic's tentacles." I thought about that for half a second, then said, "Okay, but how would they see them in M-Spa... oh, shit. You want me to bring them here." She nodded, then stepped up to me and pressed herself against me. Very distracting.

"You hurt yourself doing what you did to Calverton, but the fact remains that you flattened a vast swath of the City." She ran her hands along my arms, raising goosebumps in the cold mountain morning.

"That's not a tool you should allow to lie idle in the box." Without moving my arms, I lifted her until I could whisper in her ear, "Are you implying they've ever been idle in the box?" Her eyelids fluttered shut as she pressed the side of her neck against my mouth.

"I was going to suggest some construction work, but... later."

"Later?"

"Later." Eh, after lunch was later. Oddly enough I managed to get a tentacle to pop out a big fuckin' Mana Blade, which I used to start carving one of the 'bunkhouse' buildings into the side of the valley. When the big honkin' stone cubes cooled enough to move without burning myself, Saffron had me carve hollow cylinders to add to the tower base. My fuckin' tentacles couldn't do a proper Mineral Bond to glue all the sections together, so Saffron had me lift her up to do it.

"Tabitha?"

"Yeah, Kitten?"

"Are you trying to distract me from my Shaping?"

"No?" She chuckled.

"Oh. Pity. Because if that's just you not having very good control you need far more practice."

"Oh, hey, I didn't say it was accidental. Just that I'm not tryna distract you." She finished Bonding the final section I'd created and placed today, then looked down at me from where she dangled about ten feet from the top of the hole.

"Enjoying the view?" I lifted her up to get a good look at her in the light of the setting sun, then carefully, deliberately, and inexorably undid her jacket and blouse, letting them flutter to the ground as I slipped them free. Then I tipped her face down and watched the jiggle physics drift in and out of wireframe as she squeaked and flailed her arms a little.

"Much better now."

"So, other than ogling me, which you could do anywhere, and you'd probably get a much better look if I were closer to you, did you have something in mind?" I nodded.

"I like the echo in here. Gonna see how you sound from right in the middle of it."

"Didn't you complain about me using sex to trick you into practicing your fine control?"

"Really kinky sex, and that wasn't a complaint, that was a surprised realization. You okay up there?" Glancing down at her front, she said, "I could use some support. This is very undignified." I didn't mean to sound quite so lunkish, but the chuckle that came out of me was pure Goof lewd.

"I like how they bounce." She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Shoulder support at least?" I wrapped a tentacle around each of her shoulders.

"Better?"

"Better. You're being awful solicitous right now. Should I be frightened?" I leaned back, lounging against my own impromptu tentacle recliner. Fancy movie theater seats got nothing on me for comfort and style, baby.

"Hey, I've always been about Consent. Informed consent, even."

"Oh, I know. Should I be frightened?"

"Do you wanna be?" She relaxed into my grip, smiling down at me.

"I dearly hope so."