Chương 431: Day Four Hundred And Twenty-Nine

Dear Diary,"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt Oh, man, I was stoked when I found this one. I mean, the quote is pretty solid, yeah, and definitely right up my Isekai alley.

Back in the world of Eastside I didn't really try all that much, I guess, because I saw everybody who tried smacked down. I didn't even have anything to lose back there, I just... didn't. But here, where I've got skin in the game, I've absolutely thrown myself at shit. Maybe that's the big reason I'm different here, I've found my family, my people. I wonder what I would have been like back there if I'd found somebody to care about like I have here. Guess I'll never know.

Not like it's the first thing I've wondered about like that. But it's not just the quote on this one! This one's from Teddy Roosevelt! The fuckin' Bull Moose! The guy Teddy Bears are named after! Just... holy crap, I remember learning about this dude in Middle School, and at first I thought he must be some kind of urban legend. Like, a rich white dude who is all about preserving the environment, and busting up monopolies, and I was all like, 'fuck, does this dude actually spice his food or some shit like that?'

I almost got disappointed when I found out he slathered white gravy all over everything, but then I found out he was dumping that stuff all over fried chicken tendies! Like, holy shit, this guy was absolutely my hero for, like, three months in grade eight. I never actually got turned off by him, either.

Like, everything he did that was somehow maybe fucked up was totally explainable by the fact that he seemed to be the first and only rich white dude actually trying to make things better rather than just making himself richer. Also, along with not being a giant douchecanoe despite being a rich white guy, he's not some kind of pansy intellectual either.

Like, if I remember the story right he was this nearsighted asthmatic kid who just said 'fuck that noise' and hit the gym until he got buff, and then when the country went to war he dropped the cash for his own military unit and just went and kicked the shit out of people. Then when he came back to run for president, he was up there all speechifying and some asshole shot him, and he straight up no-sold that shit. Didn't even bother to stop his speech, just kept talking for like an hour and a half after that.

I mean, shit, what I wouldn't give for some rich son of a bitch who was all about protecting people and went ham on assholes and got the shit shot out of him and kept going and fuck I totally just realized fuck me but maybe some part in the back of my head never stopped idolizing this dude. Now I kinda wonder if kids a couple generations down the road are gonna go to sleep cuddling little Tabbies or something.

Honestly, I kinda hope not, because if Saffron's right, and she always is, I'm still gonna be around then, and that would just be weird. So maybe I can convince Marie to whip up some more Mister Krakens for the rest of our kids. I mean, if it doesn't catch on, it doesn't catch on. Hell, maybe if I can keep rolling like I have been, kids won't have so much to be afraid of that they need little stuffed guardian totems like that. Nah. kids are gonna be kids.

There will always be ones afraid of random shit, and they'll always want some kind of something to cling when Mommy and Daddy aren't right there with them. Shit, I wonder if maybe we could build a world where Mommy and or Daddy are right there with them, at least until they don't need them any more. So after yesterday, for the first time in days I didn't fall apart into a wreck the moment I got myself alone with Saffron and Marie.

Of course, after spending the afternoon ensuring that our cabin aboard the Black Dragon absolutely reeked of Saffron, none of us were desperate for shenanigans. I mean, we still did, because never turn down shenanigans when they're available, because that's just dumb, but it was a kind of quick exchange of endorphin induction rather than a whole evening's worth of entertainment. Weird. Not bad, just weird. Of course, that wasn't the only exchange.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. Saffron levered herself off of me, rolled over to the head of the bed, and said, "Tabitha, stand up." I wondered if I was gonna have to brace myself or something, but instead of upping the shenanigans to antics, she knelt in front of me.

"May I have your hand, Tabitha?" I smiled at her.

"It's already yours, Kitten." She took my hand and slipped a black band with an onyx stone that matched the one she'd put on Marie onto my finger. It snugged right up next to Marie's ring, and I swear when it snugged itself down it kinda melded with the ring Marie put on my finger. I smiled down at her, and lifted her up by her hand until I could lean down and kiss her. Then I lifted her left hand up and looked at it.

"This looks awful bare, don't you think, Marie?"

"Yes."

"So what are you going to do about it, Goof?" I reached into the box, laying my hand on the wedding ring I'd seen earlier, the one I wanted so desperately to put on Saffron's hand that I could taste it. Before I could get it my hand, her hand pressed down on mine.

"Not those. Not yet, love." I frowned. Okay, I pouted.

"Why not?" Suddenly serious, she said, "those are for our renewal of vows." I slid my fingers down to the engagement rings, slipped one into my fingers. I still felt pouty.

"So, do I still get to put a ring on you?" She smiled up at me.

"The one in your hand now? You wish to claim me, to mark me, to show everyone I am yours?"

"Uh..."

"Do it. Claim me. Mark me. Take me, my Goddess, my Wife, my Goof." I grinned down at her.

"What do we say?" She grinned back up at me, slipping her hands out of mine and stepping backward toward the wall.

"Please?" NOW! I laughed as I lunged at her, snagging her hand despite her attempts to keep it from me, slipping the blood red band with a ruby set in onyx and diamonds onto her left ring finger, then interlacing our fingers while I pushed her back to the wall and kissed her. More shenanigans occurred after that, but can you blame us? Had to test to be sure the rings wouldn't come off, even when, uh, lubricated. They didn't. Today I mostly let my plans move themselves forward.

Spent more time reading with Maze, playing with Menace, watching with Marie, and using my rope dart ropes to be the Best Massage Chair Ever for my brilliant little Kitten. Not long before lunch I hopped over to the bridges. We had another dozen Undead at each of them. Two of them at each location tried to attack me when I showed, their eyes glowing that same not-violet like the Liches did. All of them were basic bitch Zombies. I felt a little insulted even, like the Master thought that shit would work on me.

After I ripped their Souls out, Smited them, then hit each of them with a Revive, I did the same to the actual refugee Undead, then hauled them over to the Black Dragon for storage. I spent a little time talking with Hargreaves and Swanson about rations and uniforms and weapon maintenance and every other boring as fuck thing I could think of to ask them about.

I also had them start shipping things and stuff and people from the fleet to the front and back, not to mention splitting our Troops and Heroes a little more evenly between the north and south district bridges. At one point mid-afternoon I stepped to the tallest rooftop in the Undead held section of Calverton. By the time I managed to get out, "ATTENTION! Calverton Miasma Victims!" a Miasma Ward sprang into being around me.

I turned to face the center of the sphere of Miasma, lifted my sword-staff, and said, "you have until the count of I stop talking to take that down and surrender, or I turn you in to Lich bits." When the Miasma Ward stayed up, I channeled Mana into my body, into my skin, and my swordstaff spun as arrows bounced off of me.

"Your loss." I danced across the rooftop. When slices of Lich flew, I bore down and turned the dumb fucker into so much rotten sashimi, then stepped back to the deck of the Black Dragon. Marie saw me and hopped down.

"Sorry." I smiled up at her.

"Why? They've got me exactly where I want them." She tilted her head in confusion, but took my hand when I held it out. I led her back to my cabin. I pulled her in, then slammed the door behind her. She raised an eyebrow, and I leapt up, glomped her, and kissed her. When I pulled back, she just raised an eyebrow. I smiled at her from where I dangled from her front and said, "you don't think I'm gonna be satisfied with this room only reeking of Saffron, do you?"