Chương 150: Day One Hundred And Forty-Nine

Dear Diary, Give me an honest stand up fight any day, because I'm really not sure how to deal with somebody I know is an asshole but they're being nice at the moment. So yesterday after Loki jostled my brain around with a few well chosen words, I managed to get his Jotnar immunity to cold temperatures going. Of course, because life can't be, y'know, easy, it's not really as good as I'd hoped.

I can't get frostbite, and my skin doesn't freeze, but I'm not warm, and my clothes and hair can still ice up if they get wet. Which they did, because of course it had to rain in the afternoon. Right about when my coat started crunching with every step, I realized that while I couldn't freeze to death, there was another live human being on the wall with me. My supposed partner, even if we'd mostly been watching our own sections of the wall rather than walking the whole double section together.

I wandered down the wall until I saw him pushing his way forward through the freezing rain.

"Yo, Lancaster, how you holdin' up?" He looked up at me from where he'd totally turtled down into his coat and said, "what?" I stepped closer to him, then got a rush of brains to the head and put up a Filtration Ward set to block out the rain. Well, set to block out water, anyhow. Immediately the noise level dropped off, although we still had wind cutting past us.

"How are you holding up?" He looked around at the Filtration Ward before answering.

"I'll live, I suppose. Set to block water?"

"Yeah, figured it would make it easier to talk. Also maybe a little harder to freeze to death."

"You realize we're trapped in here now?" I facepalmed.

"Dammit. I should have thought of that." He smirked at me.

"Yes, you probably should have." Of course, that gave me an idea, as whatever passes for a brain in my head finally tossed a few useful bits of information up.

"Just a second." First I slid out a Mana Blade and sliced through the Filtration Ward until it gave up and rain doused us again. Then, working from what I remembered of the forges under the school, I put up another Filtration Ward set specifically to filter out water not-in-people. Once again we stood in a more or less dry section of the wall.

"You really think someone's going to come throw down with us in the middle of all this?" I waved my hand out at the storm outside.

"Frankly? I doubt it. But we've been ordered to patrol this section of the wall, and a Lancaster follows orders." I returned his smirk with interest, "even dumb ones?"

"There wouldn't be much point if you only followed the ones you thought smart." He heaved a sigh.

"Not that you'd understand that." I shook my head at his ongoing Lancasterness, then said, "c'mon, least I can do is put Wards up to keep us out of the rain." He nodded, and we walked the wall with me throwing up a new Filtration Ward each time we got near the end of the old one. After one long lap, we had the entire thing covered, at least until my Filtration Wards ran out. Worst case I could just put them up again, although the first volley had me sweating a little.

Of course Lancaster had to burst my little bubble of accomplishment at his first opportunity.

"While I appreciate not being rained on, and this does give us more visibility, at least along the wall, It would be nice if we could do something about the cold." I facepalmed again as I remembered where I'd gotten the inspiration for the 'let living things pass' part of the Wards we were walking through now. As we made a second lap, I popped up Filtration Wards set to keep not-in-a-person heat in. Of course, because we weren't standing still, the effect was minimal, but I can only do so much.

"Best I can do." He nodded, then asked, "where did you get the idea for that type of Ward? Intermediate Heroics?" I shook my head.

"Nah. They use a Ward like that in the smithy in the Academy basement." He gave me a weird look and asked, "you've been in the basement?" I nodded, "Yeah. Why?"

"It's... servants quarters. Why in the name of all that is holy would you go down there?" I sighed as I realized that despite everything, Lancaster gonna Lancaster.

"Because Saffron and I both have friends down there." He just shook his head, muttering something like, "Bags of a feather." He muttered it low enough that I could pretend not to hear, especially with the wind picking up.

"So you've dealt with the rain and made a start on the cold, but could you do something about this wind?" While the wind chill was definitely less than pleasant, I still remember my first thoughts about Filtration Wards.

"Yeah, no. I've got this idea that I'll screw it up and we'll both suffocate before I can take it down." This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. He shrugged.

"Fair point. At least with what you've done, we'll be able to dry off; the coats should do the rest." After saying that, he frowned and looked at my coat.

"Where did you get that coat?" I blinked, kind of weirded out by the question.

"You gave it to me yesterday, remember?"

"The coat I gave you yesterday wasn't fit for a..." He choked off what he was going to say, then finished with, "a Lancaster." I smiled at him, "sometimes it pays to have friends in the basement." Not sure why that in particular shut him up, but it did. We spent the rest of the day walking the wall; never quite side-by-side, but close enough to catch one another when we hit the inevitable slick patches.

We skipped lunch, since neither of us really wanted to go back out into the storm now that I'd made the wall less obnoxious. Right around lunch I decided to tag Saffron. Hey Kitten. How are you guys weathering the storm? Far better than I would have had you not recruited four bears in human form for my squad. You guys hunkered down? Much to General Lancaster's dismay, yes. He's especially annoyed because apparently his big tent, which he is no longer using, had a number of enchantments for keeping the weather out.

Oh, noes! Daddy Lancaster will have to rough it! She snickered at that, then thought, how are you holding up without me there? I thought about that for a second. Dealing with the weather was a bitch, but it kept me distracted from my lack of Saffron. Not bad. I think the storm is actually helping with that. Why are you out in the storm again? Because they've got us guarding the walls, and I'm partnered with Lancaster the Least, who refuses to back down to man nor beast nor gloom of night, let alone bad weather.

Oof. I'm going to try to get some sleep; we've been shorting ourselves a little to keep moving and setting up a more defensible bivouac each night. You do that. Love you, Kitten. Love you too, Goof. Lancaster and I kept up our patrol of the walls until the light turned from 'deep gray stormy skies hiding the sun' to 'sun's gone down, y'all need to get to bed'. I lost count of how many Filtration Wards I set, but by the end I wasn't even having to watch. Just 'rain leaking in, put up new Ward, move on'.

Once we got off the wall the wind wasn't so bad, and we detoured to Drivers on the way home. Momma Driver wasn't quite as outgoing with Lancaster the Least, but she fed both of us; meatloaf and mashed potatoes with butter and gravy, with mixed veggies on the side. I picked out corn, peas, and carrots, but there were a couple I didn't recognize.

Whatever they were, they passed the twin Camden tests of 'does it taste good' and 'does it make you sick' with flying colors, so I wasn't gonna ask and maybe spoil it by learning they were, I dunno, sewer mushrooms or some other literal shit. Dinner was still being served when we got back, so I took advantage of the 'all the calories you can stuff in your mouth in fifteen minutes' special, since I figured I'd been burning them at a prodigious rate.

After that I stumbled back to the cell to find Marie playing with Isnomi. She took one look at me, yelled, "Mama!", and dashed over to glomp my legs. She then leapt backwards almost as fast.

"Mama co!"

"Yeah, Menace, It's why I can't take you with me, even if I wanted to. It's way too cold for little Menaces outside." She got a determined look on her face and got fuzzy.

"No, not even like that. I've got all this fur coat, and I still got cold. You, young lady, will stay indoors with Marie where it's warm." She sighed, but said, "ah ka." Marie helped me out of my coat and uniform, useful because some of the bits still hadn't unfrozen. After that she worked my stiffer bits until I kinda melted into bed; she tucked Isnomi and I into bed together, then headed for the door, uniform and coat in hand.

"Come back when you're done?" She nodded and said, "Yes," before leaving. I was asleep before she got back. Slept through the night, same dream as before, although everything was faintly chilly on top of all the other dream weirdness. I woke surrounded by fur. I'd curled around fuzzy Isnomi, and Marie had curled around me. I lay there just enjoying the warmth until Marie woke; I followed her out of bed. After the previous day, the room didn't seem anywhere near as cold.

Marie got herself dressed while I was still picking out clothes, then dressed me the rest of the way. I don't know how she'd done it, but my coat was clean, dry, and warm. Together we got the menace dressed despite her morning grumbles, then got her to un-fuzzy before heading out for the day. After breakfast, when I finally got outside, the day had dawned clear and holy-fuckballs cold.

Lancaster was nowhere to be seen, and I didn't want to stand still, lest I freeze in place as an ersatz 'Rocky' statue, so I headed for the wall. When I got there, Lancaster was already there, going through sword forms. Not a bad idea, honestly. When he saw me, he flipped something up off the ground with his foot, then tossed it to me, "Diaz, catch!" I caught it; he'd brought one of the Academy's wooden training swords.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Unless you've been practicing since this all started, your sword forms are pathetic, even for a Bag." That, of course, rustled my jimmies something fierce.

"One, good morning to you too, two, most Bag can't afford swords, and three, I've got other ways of defending myself." Just to make my point, I slid a three-foot Mana Blade out of my left wrist, careful not to singe my coat. He sighed, "I'm well aware. Let me demonstrate. Come at me." I gave him a 'what the fuck' look and said, "yeah, no, I'm not gonna go on trial again until Spring, at least. It's way too cold for that shit." He rolled his eyes.

"Humor me, you insolent Bag bitch." Fuck it, since he went to all the trouble of pissing me off, I'd ruin his coat at least. Anything non-lethal I could Treat. I jumped at him, bringing my Mana Blade down in a overhand swing. Two feet away from him, it hit an impenetrable barrier and bounced. A moment later, the tip, then edge, then hilt of his practice sword smacked my left hand three times; the third hit hard enough to make me lose my concentration on my Blade; not something I knew could even happen.

It hurt like a bitch, too.

"Eventually, someone is going to expect you, and come prepared. You need to have other options."

"Fuck. That stings."

"You seem to ignore anything but object lessons."

"Not the hand," I said, trudging over to pick up the practice blade he'd thrown me.

"The fact that you're right." We spent the rest of the day, with a short break for me to run and get lunch from Driver's, working on my swordplay. I'm not gonna say that I actually got good, but I did improve. By nightfall, it took him some real effort to disarm me, and I'd even landed a few hits on him. Glancing ones, but still better than in the morning. As we walked back to the Academy, I said, "Thanks."

"De nada." It still weirded me out that he said that in not-Celtic. We parted ways at the Academy doors. I went straight for my room and, despite my body being one big ache, looked at Marie and said, "get Isnomi and yourself ready to go. We've got a council meeting to attend." See? Eventually even I can learn.