Chương 1160: Day One Thousand One Hundred And Fifty-Eight

Dear Diary, So weird, not knowing exactly when things that seemed so important back in the day are happening. Like, I could Scry and check, I guess, but somehow that seems like it would open old wounds that I'm not ready to have opened. Like Scrying for my obituary, or Scrying on my old friends.

Ain't even gonna think about Scrying on my sister, because as it is right now, I can think of her as a young woman who was in no way ready to have a teenaged daughter, but was forced to deal with not just said teenaged daughter, but a teenaged daughter with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, not to mention dealing well with grief. Shit, I'm not sure which of us I'm talking about when it comes to that last, because not only did it apply to both of us, it made it harder for both of us as well.

Beyond each of us not having our full bandwidth to deal with each other, we were both in pain and lashing out at anyone near us, and... Yeah. Just a bad deal all around, and while I guess at some point I should look in on her, make sure she's okay, I know it's gonna wind up throwing me off my game. I do not need another Yule breakdown. I was gonna add 'any time soon', but I think I'd like to avoid another of those entirely.

Not that I think it absolutely will be that kind of thing, but I don't know it won't, and I know I'm gonna feel some kinda way no matter when I go looking. Guess it's gonna be a trip if I wind up looking and whatever's there gives me the warm fuzzies instead. But the only event I really have any kind of solid read on is the day I got isekaied. I mean, there are the major holidays here, the Solstices, the Equinoxes, one of which is coming up soonish, but none of those are really big holidays back there.

Shit, the only holiday I really have a solid guess at his Halloween, and that's entirely because of my son's High Holy Day. Of course, now that I'm getting a handle on the calendar here and now I can remember important days here. Like the Solstices and Equinoxes. Okay, those I didn't need the calendar for. #JustSunGoddessThings. But there are some things I need a calendar for. Important ones. Specifically, birthdays. Like Davey's birthday, which is coming up in two days.

So yesterday when Orla showed up, I sighed and said, "I'm kinda not in the right headspace at the moment. You mind letting them cool their heels until morning?" She just chuckled and said, "I work for you, whether as Goddess or Champion. Certainly." Just then I had a sudden inspiration.

"Wait, no. Can you touch base with our mercenary Captains, see if we can't get one or more of them to join us for the interrogation? We can do it just before lunch." She outright laughed.

"Bribing them with the Black Dragon's officer's mess? I like it. Will do, Champion." Then she stepped away before I could argue that I hadn't intended bribery. I mean, yeah, I could have just poked her in the brain meats, but honestly I think using something like what amounts to mass produced food as a bribe is pretty petty bribery, if it counts at all. Really it's hospitality, not bribery. Although I'm not sure if I want to take a step near that particular slippery slope, given my own personal proclivities.

Got home, got forcibly reminded that as good as it was, and as much as I love my ship, the Black Dragon's officer's mess was basically tied for third place in terms of food quality. First place went to Murder Mittens' Kitchen, of course. But once I thought about it I realized that the restaurant and bar at the Temple of Love would probably rate some Michelin stars if they were transported back to my old world.

Okay, maybe not, but only because those dudes rate things based on shit other than 'oh, my god this is good', 'I'm gonna get fat from this', and 'I literally cannot stop eating because this tastes so good'. Tonight was dumplings. Many different variations, including the old school 'pillow of dough', what I always thought of as 'Asian' dumplings filled with minced meat and veg, and finally the one that had all my ladies giggling at me as they watched me savor each one, soup dumplings.

Amusingly, those were not really a hit with anyone else. Not sure why. But that just meant more for me, and I absolutely loved it when Saffron started feeding them to me, one at a time, with her fingers. After dinner she fussed over me in the shower.

"I swear, it's like you enjoyed how bits of soup ran down your chin." I chuckled.

"Uh... Learned behavior?" She pulled my face down and licked my chin clean before turning me around and spraying my face with the shower head. Later, lying in the Bath with her floating next to me, I figured it was time for me to get the opinion on my Global Spell project from the Legendary Archmage herself.

"Hey, Kitten?"

"Yes, Goof?"

"What do you think about my Global Spell?" She rolled over and folded her hands on my belly, propping her chin on the backs of her hands.

"Given that I know next to nothing about it, I don't really have an opinion. Although I'm intensely curious, I'm trying not to jostle your elbow." I blushed a little, then said, "well, the call for it. I'm, uh... I'm trying to set it to go off when people call on me. Specifically kids." You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. She'd opened her mouth a couple times while I spoke, and when I said that last thing, she closed it and nodded.

When she realized I was waiting for a reply, she smiled and said, "that's so... You." I shrugged.

"I figure the kids who need me most won't have any kind of Shaping training, so..." She shook her head.

"No, they probably wouldn't. But you do realize that you will likely be overwhelmed with calls for aid in very short order?"

"Yeah, well. I'll deal with that when I deal with that. I mean, I thought of that, and I'm gonna try to put something in there to let me see what's going on, whether they're in immediate danger or something slower, or if they're just asking for a bike for yule or something like that." I wound down, then tried again.

"Is there anything in your System Spell to support that?" She opened her mouth, then closed it. Then shook her head, a single jerk.

"Not as such. Support for the ongoing Divination that watches for calls upon the Global Spell, yes, but what you're talking about is multiple orders of magnitude more complex and, not to put too fine a point on it, Mana consumptive." I slumped a little.

"Well. Shit. I guess it's a stupid idea." She slapped my tit. While I was still wincing, she said, "stop that. Your idea is not stupid. Ambitious, yes. Perhaps foolhardy, even, should you implement it without safeguards such as you described, given the limits of your Mind. But not stupid."

"How can it be a good idea if it's something you didn't even think to include, though?" She sighed, then smiled and snuggled me.

"Oh, love. Just because something is ambitious beyond anything I ever aspired to does not make it a bad idea. Just not something a Mortal Mage would think of."

"So, uh, can I get your help?" She smiled.

"On your Global Spell?" I shrugged.

"Yeah. I mean, I don't want to fuck up the System Spell when I put it up."

"And both Tallulah and I thank you for that. But I think before you go any further, you'll want to modify the System Spell itself."

"Dafuq?" She nodded.

"Of course! Just because most who use the System Spell will never have the Mana or ambition to try something like this doesn't mean the System ought not support it." I watched her brain spin into gear.

"For the next little while, I'll come with you to class on Mondays, and we can work on that portion of your Spell together, and once it's ready we can have Tallulah implement that alteration."

"Uh..."

"Any modifications to the System Spell will, or at least might, affect her, so I think it's only fair." Before I could reply, she turned and poked Siobhan.

"Speaking of alterations, I think it's time and past time that you replace the Assess Health Spell with one integrated with the System Spell." Siobhan winced.

"Really?"

"Definitely." She sighed, then handed over Aoibh to me.

"Wait, no, I'll need Tabitha to provide the Mana, won't I?" Saffron blinked.

"You'll need to redesign the Shape, you realize?" Siobhan just looked at her.

"What else do you think I've been doing during my down time at the Infirmary. I mean, other than putting myself on display to entertain our Goof?" I laughed.

"You don't mind if we do a code review before we go live, do you?" She shook her head.

"Of course not, Goof. Thank you for reminding me." Saffron smiled.

"I was right. You were absolutely ready to become a mother." Siobhan blushed, and I adored how she didn't so much as stutter when she said, "how so?"

"It's done wonders for your confidence." Our adorable Healer blushed harder, then said, "well, I can't very well be a bad example for our daughter, can I? For any of them?" Yeah, things got a little gushy after that. Smiles, kisses, accusations of silliness from Menace and posse, the works. Dreamt of my ladies continuing their after action review of last Friday's Revel.

Today before lunch I stepped over to the Black Dragon, then walked down to the brig to find Red waiting with Orla outside the hatch to the brig proper.

"Hey, Red."

"Good Morning, Champion." I looked around.

"The other two couldn't make it?"

"Am I not enough?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Nah, not that. I just figured we'd want witnesses to interrogating these guys, since they're the ones who seemed to be in charge." He thought about that, then nodded.

"So be it. Shall we be about it then?" A moment later we stepped into the brig to find the four guys screaming at each other. The Sailor and Troll on duty looked up as we entered; when I looked at the Sailor, she shrugged, like 'what are you gonna do', and nodded to the Troll, who just grinned at me. Then turned and hissed at the four of them. That got their attention, and then they noticed me. The one who'd led the crew when they came at me, who'd wound up in the bigger cell, shouted over the others.

"Why am I in here?" I snapped my fingers at the other three, and when they wouldn't stop shouting, raised my voice and said, "do I need to put you three to sleep again?" That's when one of the three, the one that had been playing the mouth harp, spat out, "the Queen will hear of this!" Yeah, I'm not sure what I expected, but that took me off guard enough I didn't think to interfere when Red bristled and said, "what Queen?"

"The Faerie Queen of Pirates herself!" For a second I thought maybe this dumbass was talking about Tallulah, but then he added, "She has taken the Thames, and seeks the Overlord's latest doxy, and will steal him away like she'll steal the Overlord's Keep as well!" I didn't see Red's hand move. I did see the dull grey of a dagger hilt appear in the royalist's shoulder, at which point the dude dropped like somebody'd cut his strings.

"Oi! Red!" He just turned to me, looked like he was gonna spit, then swallowed with a grimace.

"Anyone spouting that filth has clearly had their mind befuddled by Sidhe magics." I shook my head.

"Yeah, well. I'm not really into tryna kill somebody who's been mind-controlled." He snorted.

"Please. Had I wanted him dead, I would have aimed for the throat. I carry that little Cold Iron spike on me for just such occasions." I opened my mouth to tear him a new one, then stopped as the dude on the floor groaned. Didn't move, though. I turned to the Sailor.

"Go get a medic, and have four of those," I looked Red square in the eye, "Cold Iron helmets delivered here." He just shrugged, unrepentant. I walked over, pulled the dagger and Healed the dude on the ground, while the Sailor on duty used the intercom to call for a medic and the helmets. Because of course they had the intercoms working, and nobody'd told her not to show them off to the visitors.

Turned out whatever whammy the 'Faerie Queen of Pirates' had put on the three musicians left them absolutely brain scrambled when it went down. Like, sitting there staring at nothing. I wasn't letting them out of the cells until Tallulah, Saffron, or somebody equally good at Shaping could confirm they weren't still under the effects of the whammy, but at least now they were quieter. Meanwhile Red and I grilled the fourth guy.

Who remembered absolutely nothing from the point he'd signed the Articles of Agreement with the ship he'd been on. Yeah, I had a strong suspicion who the 'Queen' was, but I wasn't gonna run my mouth about it. I also wasn't real thrilled that she'd apparently set her cat's paws up to forget everything about her and everything they'd done for her when her whammy went away.