Chương 1154: Day One Thousand One Hundred And Fifty-Two

Dear Diary, Y'know, I gotta remember that not all Fae are good. No. No, that's not right. Fae aren't, as a category, 'good' or 'evil'. Fuck, even that old mythology book, where it talked about them, made that sort of clear. I mean, yeah, the book called them the 'Good Folk' and called the Seelie and Unseelie 'Good' and 'Evil', but I kinda read that like the bits about the Norse Gods being parallels to Greek and Christian myths.

No, seriously, reading that old brick it was really fuckin' obvious that they thought of Loki as some kind of Norse Satan. Really? I don't think I'd ever heard Dad quite so huffy. I didn't say I believed it, even back then. Oh, I'm sure you didn't, but how am I similar to a fallen angel of light? I stopped, realizing that maybe he was feeling some kinda way about it, which honestly I cared about more than some dead Scandinavian monk from another world.

Thing is, this didn't feel like a 'pat his head and tell him he's pretty' moment. For one thing, the myths back in the day had him imprisoned in ice in the middle of a lake of fire or some shit like that. Well, that much isn't too far off from true. Okay, I'm curious how you know all that, but I'm assuming it's one of those Trickster secret things? Close enough. Well, okay, but you're an imprisoned Fire God. So parallels to an imprisoned angel, or maybe Prometheus?

Not hard to see, especially in a world where nobody's heard direct from God in at least a couple centuries, if they ever did. Dad sighed. Yes, but... He's not a Trickster. Neither of them are, really. I must have made some kind of interrogative sound. Far closer to Tyr, both of them. Huh, really? I felt his shrug. I'm sure we can talk about it on Sunday if you're interested. I'm about to be busy. Yeah, I appreciated him letting me know without going into details. Thanks Dad, you're the best. I know.

At any rate, even the slightest amount of reading comprehension and understanding of allegory made it clear that the Fae were, in a word, alien. Alien to the point of frequently being completely amoral. If the Sidhe are closer to Human, to the point where they're clearly Human Adjacent enough to interbreed, which also makes them the closest to anything resembling Human morality, they're still not quite the same. I mean, they're not utterly inhuman, or so utterly alien that they don't understand things like family.

But even there they have some really different priorities sometimes. Like Tallulah when she discovered Ria had Blessed me. Yeah, she was torn up that she had to kill her youngest daughter, but it wasn't even a question of whether she would or wouldn't until Saffron and I intervened. I don't talk about it a lot, because frankly Court proceedings bore the fuck out of me when I understand them, but when it's two Fae bringing their case before Tallulah to rule on, that shit gets strange enough that I kind of check out.

When neither one is Sidhe, even though Blend lets me hear what they're saying as English with some Spanish sprinkled in, it's still nigh incomprehensible. I think some of it is how they've all got all those instincts about deals and pacts and traditions that I've never even heard of, and they just reference them like a redneck giving directions to a mom and pop shop in the next holler over. Y'know, 'turn left, but not hard left, at the five way where the malt shop burned down twenty years ago'.

Of course, that's only part of it, because as I've come to learn, the Fae are one and all deeply involved in Metaphoric Space, and while I treat it like it's just a shadow of the Mortal Realm, because in a lot of ways it is, it's also... Not. It's like an entire extra dimension layered over everything, and I can't quite tell if it's made entirely of Mana, or it's just so much more Mana dense than the Mortal Realm that it feels like that. I'm also not sure how connected it is.

I mean, it is, but how much is a big thing that I've never really played with. Might need to if I want my Global Spell to work right though. Given that I can see the System Spell in the sky in M-Space if I look for it, I'm guessing that's an understatement.

Kinda wandered far afield from my original point, which is that somehow between thinking I was 'cursed by the Fae of Rich Man's Port' for half a season, then having Tallulah so ready to kill her own kid, The Morrigan killing Ria because my girl inconvenienced her, not to mention little things like Cat Sith being, y'know, such a fuckin' shining example of a Fae Cat, I think I must have gotten it into my head that the Fae of Rich Man's Port were, y'know, the Unseelie ones.

I believe I made a major error in judgement regarding that. Not sure yet. So at any rate, yesterday Orla let me know that some of the new Pirates needed some encouragement to join up or fuck off, and requested that I drop by with an Archmage or two and check them out for signs of coercion of the magical kind. As we floated in the bath after dinner, I subtly nudged Marie toward keeping the kids busy, then pulled my trio of Archmagi over close enough to talk quietly.

Before I could even talk, Siobhan said, "two Mistresses, two Concubines, are we going to sneak away for the evening then?" I chuckled.

"Maybe later. Orla needs me and an Archmage to check some sus shit out with the new batch of Pirates. Wondered which of you was available?" The three of them exchanged looks, a moment of silent communication, and Siobhan sighed.

"I suppose I'm least critical in my role." Before I could interrupt, she looked right at me.

"Not that my role is unimportant, but I am not a Head of State."

"Okay, fair point." At that point Tallulah shook her head.

"But how familiar are you with magics of binding and deception?" Saffron said, "those are not House Crow's specialties; that would be obfuscation and divination. Yet I sense you'd like to go?" Tallulah shrugged.

"My greatmother tutored me in deception and binding, although I never really took to the latter. But yes, Rich Man's Port is calm at the moment, and Cailyn or Adrienne could sit in my stead for a while as I speak with the Captains three about my City's Articles of Agreement."

"You really think your people will go for that?" She turned to me.

"The Humans and non-Fae Human Adjacent folk will accept Articles; many of them use them for their crews. The Fae, especially the Sidhe, might balk, but if I present it as documentation of laws the Fae themselves already follow, that the Humans might also be bound by them? I think enough of them will support me that I can coerce the remainder." I sucked my teeth a little.

"Not sure I like that whole 'coercion' thing." Saffron snorted.

"Like you didn't do that."

"What?" You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. She turned to me.

"Despite her realizing over the past couple years how much it is to her own advantage, because despite being a bitch she is not an idiot, do you really think Ophelia Orange submitted to the Alliance with full willingness?" I worked my mouth, trying to express, to explain, but Siobhan laid a hand on my arm.

"I've seen you with Isnomi. Anise and Felicia as well."

"Huh?"

"Sometimes, especially when they are worked up, you must exert your will upon them. Tell them 'no' to something for their own good." Before I could feel some kinda way, she waved her hands, "oh, you explain why as soon as you can, you are not a tyrant, even when circumstances necessitate you must dictate. But," she shrugged.

"Sometimes I must hold a patient down to prevent them from doing further mischief to themselves." Saffron nodded, then added, "even when all are provided for, removing the need driving anyone to criminal behavior, some are still driven to such. By greed, by ambition, by thirst to avenge some imagined slight." She sighed.

"People are not always rational, love." Tallulah snorted.

"Sidhe are." We all turned to stare at her. After like thirty seconds she blushed, then wilted.

"Or, we tell ourselves we are." I smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"I know."

"We know, Elle. We know how much you value that, how much of a key feature of your self image it is. And, for what it's worth, Sidhe are more rational than most, even if their starting principles often boggle Mortals." After a quick kiss, she bumped foreheads with our long tall Sidhe Lady.

"You want to go with Tabitha tomorrow?"

"Yes? Yes."

"So be it. I would prefer you have Adrienne sit in your stead, if possible. Cailyn and George aren't technically still on honeymoon, but I'd like to let them work at their own pace together for a bit."

"Of course." Siobhan bubbled out, "sneaking off now... Fuck."

"That would be the point of sneaking off, wouldn't it?" Saffron chuckled at that, then realized.

"When you're done feeding her." I shrugged.

"I could feed her while you three get a head start." My three Archmagi looked at one another, then back at me.

"Are you certain, love?" I nodded, and they took turns kissing me, Siobhan going last, then handing me Aoibh. I did my Shapeshifting Mimic thing, then lay there in the Bath, soaking and feeding my littlest, youngest daughter. Okay, I did that after I Translocated to the water closet, cleaned her up, got a new diaper on her, and stepped us back to the Bath. When the kids finally finished up their Bath, Marie took Aoibh and herded them all down to the bedroom.

Meanwhile I Blended just enough to be subtle, then stepped to the Bedroom and flopped onto the Divan to watch. Kinda funny that Siobhan was the first to notice me, and that only after they'd gone a few rounds in that lovely threesome position I remembered from our wedding night.

"Tabitha!" I smiled at her.

"Yeah, was having too much fun watching." I realized what I'd said, then chuckled.

"Who knew I had so much in common with Marie?"

"They're bullying me!" The other two chuckled, and I said, "uh, you've been on top the entire time I've been here."

"Exactly! I shook my head, laughed, and joined in. In the morning, Tallulah was all decked out and ready to go. Not her full Court regalia, but an Academy uniform in Rich Man's Port colors. Which, given their recent selection of battle flags, meant pink and sky blue, with the addition of a tricorne hat. I'm pretty sure her cape and spiked shoulder pad weren't part of the uniform, but I wasn't gonna give her shit over her fit.

I'd come to realize that the Sidhe, at least the Sidhe of Rich Man's Port, were absolutely fashion disasters, yet somehow managed to make whatever they wore work. I dunno, maybe that makes them fashion forward or something. Fuck it, she wears it like she likes it, and that's good enough for me. I popped on my own Academy uniform to more or less match her. I took her hand and we stepped to the deck of the Penetrating. A moment later, Orla joined us.

"Goddess. Archmage. Your presence is appreciated." Funny, I realized she'd gone out of her way to avoid saying, 'thank you' like she normally might have. Cultural sensitivity for the win, maybe.

"You got any of those folks you were worried about aboard?" She shook her head, then nodded toward a nearby launch. One of the Pirate launches, not one of ours.

"The folks remaining on that ship."

"You mind if we go talk to them?" She shrugged.

"They've been arming themselves, although they think we don't know. Nothing more than small blades, but..." She shrugged.

"Yeah. Unless they swing, we don't want to start anything, and it's not like they can sink a Tentacle with knives. But thanks for the heads up." I turned to Tallulah.

"How do you want to do this?" She looked across at the launch, where the crew looked to be doing some basic maintenance on their rigging and sails.

"I think it best if one of us Translocates aboard stealthily while the other does so openly. One to examine them while the other speaks with them." I nodded.

"Yeah, I think I'm better at stealth, but I'm not sure I'd recognize a binding if I saw it. Can you..." I blinked as she kinda faded from sight. A mix of Glamor and Booned Blend, Goddess. Excuse me? She got my point immediately. A mix of Glamor and Booned Blend, Mistress. I'd prefer Tabitha, but I guess that will do. You ready? Whenever you are. I stepped across, feeling her step beside me. The crew of the launch reacted oddly. Some of them jumped to their feet, hands going to concealed weapons.

Others set their maintenance down, but just kind of lazed there. A few kept on doing whatever they'd been doing, sewing up rips in a sail, braiding rope, that kind of thing. A couple, inexplicably, started whistling, and one near them picked up the tune on a mouth harp. Only one of them actually approached us.

"What's the meaning of this?" I shrugged and held out my hand.

"Hey there! My name is Tabitha Diaz. I'm the Patron Goddess and Champion of the Alliance." He didn't take my hand; instead he just stared at it like a snake.

"Yeah, I heard you guys were having some problems with the whole contract negotiation process. Figured I could maybe smooth things out." I realized right then that when I said 'Patron Goddess', the dudes working and the dudes lazing around had both stiffened up, moving smoothly to get their hands near stuff that weren't technically weapons, but could do so in a pinch, like those little dowel suckers they used to tie stuff to.

"So you're here to force us into serving you?" I shook my head.

"Oh, hell to the no. I'm a Goddess," they all kinda flinched, even the three who were still whistling and playing, "of Agency. I am not down with slavery. Nah, man. I'm here to sort out what we're gonna do with you guys." His eyes narrowed.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I shrugged, sighed, and dropped my hand.

"Look, I'm not gonna bullshit you. You guys came at us like you intended to do us harm. Now, you took the path of not being complete idiots when you realized you were outclassed and outnumbered, and what with nobody getting hurt, I could maybe see my way clear to do some kind of trade with you. We give you some supplies and trade goods, you give us any weapons you've got left in exchange, and we let you sail away."

"So you'd leave us defenseless?" He snorted, then spat. Over the side, thankfully.

"Typical." I shook my head.

"Look, I'm not talking personal weapons. I get it, the world is a dangerous place, you need yourself a shiv or whatever to feel safe. I'm talking weapons that make you think you could stand a chance in a naval engagement." Smart boy caught the implication immediately. Of course he wasn't smart enough not to bristle.

"Think we could? What makes you think we couldn't?" I shook my head. I'd been not far from here for a couple fuckin' weeks. That much time had effects on the local M-Space terrain. I brought a single tentacle out of the water.

"Have you really paid attention to who and what I am?" He snorted.

"What will one tentacle do?" I shook my head, then brought out two more. Then four more. Then eight more, each of these bigger around than the width of the ship.

"So it's to be coercion then?" I shook my head, laughing.

"No, this is me pointing out that if you thought you had a chance in a stand up fight, you do not." I shook my head.

"If you all want to die in 'Glorious battle' or some shit like that, I'm tempted to just drop your whole boat off the shore of Sparta." I thought about that for a second.

"Or, y'know, Greece, since I'm not sure exactly where Sparta's shoreline is. Or I could drop you in the basement of their royal palace, I guess." He looked around at the tentacles again, then back at me.

"Who are you?" I smiled.

"I told you already. Tabitha Diaz, Patron Goddess of the Alliance." Then I sighed, slumped a little.

"Dude, you haven't even told me your name. Haven't even been polite in the slightest. But fuck it." I squared my shoulders.

"I'm also known by another name. An older one." I leaned forward, but instead of leaning in to listen, his hand tightened on something in his waistband.

"Mimic." At that name, every single sailor aboard went fuckin' crazy. Okay, not 'cray cray' crazy, but 'berserk zealot assassin' crazy. Weapons came out, and they all charged me. I sighed, realizing that these dudes were not Heroes. Not even 'sort of' Heroes like the Norfolk Karls or Cadets or anything. Just... Dudes with knives. Slow as fuck. I tagged each of them with a Lullaby Spell, catching them and lowering them to the deck as they slumped.

The three playing took a double tap, the first one stopping the music, the second one taking them down. When I had them all secure, where they wouldn't roll off the boat if they stirred in their sleep, I called out, "Tallulah?" She ghosted out of her Blend beside me, face like a thundercloud.

"So, are they ensorcelled?" I realized something right then; while the Sidhe are alien in a lot of ways, when you take their Immortality into account, they're not incomprehensible. For example, you can get a serious hate on when a feud lasts for thousands of years. Which was my immediate explanation for she sheer level of malevolence in Tallulah's voice when she nodded and hissed out, "Leanan."