Chương 23: A Soothing Walk Through the Woods

"Exterminate them?" repeated Jonny." We?"

"Unless you don't want to," she said, stopping in her tracks.

"I can take you back if–""I want to!" shouted Jonny. Then, he noticed that the corner of her mouth was twitching, and immediately felt slightly embarrassed. They resumed their march into the woods, and Jonny walked with a pep in his step, excitedly thinking about what was about to happen. Finally, he was going to be able to fight for real again. His hands were literally shaking in anticipation.

"Why do you want to become the strongest?" asked Igrette suddenly.

"Huh?" Igrette repeated her question, and Jonny thought for a few seconds before responding. He couldn't exactly tell her it was related to what happened before he went to the orphanage, but he could give her the answer he had back on Earth.

"Because it's cool," he said with a shrug.

"Cool?" she asked.

"Is that all?"

"It's also fun," he said.

"And I'm good at fighting. If it's fun and I'm good at it, shouldn't I aim for the top?"

"I see," she said. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Igrette spoke again.

"I also find fighting fun," she said.

"And I don't mean to be arrogant, but many would say that I am quite good for it. I even dreamt of being the strongest once."

"Cool." She looked down at him, then back ahead.

"Do you want to know why I let go of that dream?"

"Why?"

"Because I realized it was impossible."

"You gave up?"

"I did."

"Do you regret it?"

"…I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I never gave up. If I kept pursuing strength singlemindedly, pushing myself to the limits to go as far as I could. But more than that I regret that I ever pursued that ideal in the first place?"

"Why?"

"Because there are things that are more important than strength, and I didn't realize that until far too late."

"What happened?" Igrette did not respond immediately, but she slowed her pace and stared into the distance.

"Do you know about the Demon Wars?"

"Kinda? Like the ones in the stories?"

"Yes." Jonny nodded. One of the most basic children's stories was the tale of the first Hero and the first Demon King. Once, long ago, a Demon King appeared, and his goal was to erase humanity from the world. Then, the Hero appeared, fighting back against the demon army, and eventually defeating the Demon King and bringing peace into the world.

The story didn't go into much more detail than that, instead focusing on the Hero's friends, and how they worked together and used friendship and love to win, but Jonny knew that the Demon War was not a one time thing. Every few centuries, a new Demon King would appear, and a new Hero would rise to defeat them.

This was also not something that the nuns spoke too much of, but Jonny was vaguely aware that the last Demon War had ended a little over fifty years ago, and that the Hero was still alive, and worked as a teacher at the Feria Academy, the most prestigious school in the country, located in Feria, the kingdom's capital.

"I fought in the last Demon War," she said, removing her mask and pointing to her scars.

"That's how I got these, and a few others beneath my robes. I was part of a holy unit comprised of nuns like myself and Helen. I was the vanguard. I fought on the front lines. I slew thousands of demons with them. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"But I was not a good person. I was rude, arrogant, and selfish, and it's a miracle any of the others liked me at all. I liked them at first, but later on, I started to resent them. They were not as strong as I was. I thought they were holding me back. I wanted to push further, get stronger, rise higher. They were content where they were.

"I started to say mean things. They said mean things back. Eventually, I applied for a transfer from my unit into a stronger one. It got approved, and I told them I hated them and left.

"The week after, we had one of the largest battles of the entire war. The demons surprised us, and there were more than there should have been. We were forced to retreat, but not everyone made it back. I found out later that most of my former unit died. They died, and the last thing I had said to them was that I hated them." Her voice was cold and emotionless as she spoke, but it was also thin, and almost weak in a way that Jonny had never heard before.

He looked up and saw that while her face was emotionless as her voice, behind her lips, she was gritting her teeth.

"Even then, I still didn't give up," she continued after a few seconds.

"I still wanted to be stronger. I wanted to be the strongest. I wanted to slay the Demon King myself. I worked up the ranks until I was considered one of Feria's elite units. Then, I went into battle and saw the Hero in action.

"He was unsurpassable. He was better than me at internal mana techniques, better than most mages at external, and better than most healers at healing. He was a one man army. Anything that stood in his way died, no matter how strong it was. And when I saw him fighting one day, I realized that my dream was impossible. If I trained all my life, I would never come close to what the Hero was like at that moment, let alone if he kept growing." She took a deep breath.

"My old unit were my only friends, and my only family. I was an orphan, and I was abrasive, and no one else really liked me, but they celebrated my birthday anyway. And I told them I hated them and abandoned them to chase a dream, only to find out that my dream was never possible to begin with.

"If I had been with them, they would have survived. I heard what happened later from Helen. They were attacked by a demon that I could have killed. I had killed them many times before. But the vanguard who arrived to replace me wasn't as strong, and their teamwork wasn't as good. It broke through and killed half of them before the nearby units could provide support and bring it down. Their bodies couldn't even be recovered, because the demons forced the human army back."

She took another deep breath, then looked down at Jonny.

"I don't expect you to fully understand my story, but I just want you to understand something. Having dreams is good. Pursuing them is admirable. But not every dream will come true, and no dream is worth throwing away your loved ones. Ever. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," he replied, and Igrette gave him a rare smile.

"I hope you do," she said.

"I hope you don't end up like me." Jonny wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he didn't. Her story was a sad one, and one he could only partially relate to. His life hadn't been anywhere near as tragic as hers, but he had experienced enough to understand how she felt. He had lost friendships over arguments. He had drifted away from people over time due to his career—people he truly liked—and never reconnected with them.

And then he had gone and gotten himself killed in a place his coach explicitly told him not to go. He felt a pang of guilt. Coach was the closest thing to a father he had back on Earth, and even when Jonny acted like an idiot, Coach always had his back and looked out for him. And even though Jonny respected him, he still blew him off sometimes, partying when he shouldn't, breaking his diet for midnight cravings, skipping workouts with hangovers…

And then, he had died in a place he never should have been, and he didn't even get to say goodbye.

"Helen is worried about pushing you down the path of violence," said Igrette, pulling Jonny from his introspection.

"I personally believe there's nothing we can do to stop you. You have been called to fight. Even if we refused to teach you, you would find a way to walk that path anyways. Even if people tell you it is impossible, you will try to reach for it anyway. Trying to keep you away will only make you want it more." Jonny nodded. That sounded about right.

"I will be taking charge of your education," she said.

"I will teach you how to fight, and more importantly, how to not fight. You can pursue strength, but it will be a righteous strength. You will not hurt innocents, you will not force conflict where none is necessary, and when you need to fight, you will end it swiftly and mercifully. If you must kill, kill quickly and painlessly. Strength often coincides with cruelty, but it does not need to, and it will not in you. Do you understand?" Jonny nodded again.

"From now on, when I ask you a question like that, you will respond with 'Yes, Sister Igrette,' or 'no, Sister Igrette.' Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sister Igrette."

"Good. We will reach the ritual circle soon. A group of dire badgers have taken the place over. Dire badgers are not particularly powerful, but they are savage and quick. Their claws are sharp, and their jaws are strong, and they are more flexible than you might think. They prefer to aim for the legs against larger opponents, but on a target as small as you, they may very well try to rip out your throat from the start.

"There are currently far more than you can handle, so I will be thinning their numbers first, and only then will you fight. You will fight a single dire badger, and I will be watching over you. If it looks like you are going to be hurt, I will step in. You will not be in real danger, but I want you to treat it as if you are. Try your best to avoid needing my help. Understand?"

"Yes, Sister Igrette!"

"Good. You are not to use any targeted internal mana techniques. General body strengthening only. And don't push yourself beyond your limits. I would rather you don't need Helen's assistance when we're done."

"Yes, Sister Igrette!" As Jonny spoke, they came to a familiar section of the woods where the trees began to thin near the clearing where the ritual circle was located. Igrette slowed to a halt, and Jonny stopped right beside her.

"Wait here," she said.

"And be ready. When I return, I will bring your opponent."