Chương 14: Cool as a Cucumber

After finishing his recovery, it took two weeks for Jonny to get back to where he had been before the incident. He took it easy the first few days, as Helen recommended, then started ramping up his activity. Even once he was back to full activity, though, he had lost a little bit of strength. Not quite as much as he thought he would have, but it still took a few days to fully get back into form. Now, he was feeling good as new, but he had a few new problems as well.

The first was that while he could sort of remember how he used his mana against the primaboar, he could not replicate it. Not even a little bit. No matter what he did, the only thing he could do with his mana was circulate it. The second was Tommy. While in the infirmary, he had briefly thought that Tommy wasn't actually so bad. He had taken that back on the first day out. Sure, life or death experiences helped people bond, but Tommy might have bonded a little too closely.

He was now insisting on joining Jonny's workouts, forcing Jonny into close proximity with Tommy's worst feature: he never shut up. Day in, and day out, Tommy somehow always somehow had something to talk about. Most of the time, it was magic. The spells he was practicing, the spells he had seen the older kids using, the spells he had seen the nuns use, the spells he wanted to use… Tommy knew that Jonny couldn't use magic, but he seemed to forget that completely whenever something got him going.

I need to figure out this internal mana stuff, thought Jonny. He was burning with jealousy every time Tommy mentioned what he was learning, or showed off the latest thing he had learned to do. None of it was even that impressive. He could float a piece of lint above his hand for a few seconds, or make water in his cup vibrate, or make a tiny pinprick of light in the palm of his hand. But even those tiny things were infinitely far beyond Jonny's capabilities, and he needed something he could do on his own.

Just one little internal mana technique. It was all he needed. And that was why, when he overheard the nuns saying that one of Helen's old friends had arrived, and one of them mentioned that they might be staying at the orphanage for a while, Jonny immediately knew exactly what was going on. Helen had promised to find someone to teach him punching magic, and now someone new had come to stay at the orphanage. There could only be one reason for that. Well, one that Jonny wanted to think about anyway.

Immediately, he told the nuns that he needed to use the bathroom so he could get out of the classroom, and he then ran down the hall toward Helen's office. He didn't care if it was rude to eavesdrop on their conversation. He needed to know. Unfortunately, it was just his luck that they happened to be leaving right after he got there. He didn't even get a chance to eavesdrop, and the conversation was already over.

"Oh, hello, Jonny," said Helen. Jonny ignored her as he sized up Helen's guest. She was… different than he imagined. He had been expecting someone more like his old trainers. An older man, a little hobbled from injury, but still powerfully built. Instead, he got a lean old woman with gray hair and a mask. As he looked closer, though, he realized that she didn't look unimpressive either.

Why she wore a solid black mask on half her face, he had no idea, but he had to admit that it looked pretty cool, and while she was lean, she was tall, and had fairly broad shoulders, and she carried herself in a way that made it obvious she was trained. She also had a sword on her hip with a lion-shaped pommel and ruby eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"This is my old friend Igrette," said Helen.

"Oh. Are you my new magic teacher?" Both of the older women stiffened slightly. Ah, was it supposed to be a surprise?

"Well…" started Helen.

"I'm ready to start right now!" he said.

"I'm strong and I can fight. I wanna learn punching magic! I'll work the hardest anyone ever worked!"

"Sorry, Jonny, but Igrette actually just turned down my offer," said Helen.

"What?"

"I would have loved for her to teach you, but… Well, I'll let her tell you herself." Jonny caught Igrette shooting Helen a quick glare before turning back to face him. She regarded him for a few seconds, then spoke.

"I'm not good with children."

"Well, that's fine, because I'm good with adults," said Jonny.

"I'm no good at teaching."

"Well, you can just show me what to do and I'll copy you. I'm good at that." Igrette didn't seem to know how to respond to that. She looked to Helen for help, but Helen deliberately ignored her, smiling at Jonny while pretending not to feel her gaze. Igrette soon gave up and turned back to Jonny.

"I don't want to do it. I'd rather not be tied down anywhere."

"You're gonna travel?"

"Yes, and–""I can come with you! I wanna see the world anyway." Helen stifled a snort of laughter while Igrette looked even more taken aback than before. Jonny felt like he might have been going a bit far, especially since he had only just met this woman, but he got good vibes from her. In his time as a fighter, he had met a lot of people. Good fighters, bad fighters, good fighters who thought they were bad, bad fighters who thought they were good, and more.

But the people who were always the toughest opponents—and the best teachers—were the ones who were exactly as good as they thought they were. They knew their skills inside and out. They knew their strengths and weaknesses, and played to them. Even if they were weaker fighters overall than more talented people, Jonny struggled with that type a lot more than any other, because they forced him to fight smarter. And this Igrette woman gave him that feeling.

Sure, if she left, Helen would just find someone else, but would they be as good? Jonny doubted it. This type of person wasn't easy to come by, and if Helen trusted her, that was good enough for him. Helen seemed to be a pretty good judge of character, based on all the nuns she had under her. Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. This was the best chance he was gonna get for a while, and he didn't want to miss it.

Besides, if he got out of the orphanage, he'd get away from Tommy too, and he had been feeling pretty trapped there, anyway.

"I won't be annoying," he said when Igrette failed to respond.

"I know how to shut up. I can clean. You won't even notice I'm there." Helen failed to stop her laughter this time, and Igrette was at a complete loss for words. Jonny knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't care. Being ridiculous was just part of the game when it came to fighting, and he had gotten good at it to sell his fights. And if it got him a good magic teacher, it would be more than worth it. After a few seconds, Igrette seemed to finally have some idea of what to do.

With a sigh, she crouched down in front of him so that their eyes were level and reached up to remove her mask. Jonny's eyes widened as he saw what was underneath. It one of the gnarliest scars Jonny had ever seen, marring the entire side of her face and leaving her eye blind. It looked like a damn dinosaur had tried to rip her face off, and then someone glued her back together afterward.

"Look, kid," started Igrette, a trace of sadness in her eyes.

"Your scar is cool as f–!" Jonny caught himself.

"…as a cucumber." Damn, that was lame as hell.

"I– uh–" Igrette blinked a few times.

"My scar is what?"

"It, uh, looks cool?" asked Jonny.

"How'd you get it? Are–?" Dumbass, you can't ask if dinosaurs are real!

"It's– well–" Igrette looked up at Helen for help once more, but even Helen didn't know what to say. She was still highly amused, though.

"It's not important," said Igrette finally.

"Look, kid, I don't want a student right now. I've got things to do and I don't need a useless tagalong."

"I'm not–!"

"Hey!" said Igrette.

"The answer's no. I don't want to do it. That's final."

"Well…" said Jonny.

"You're missing a great opportunity. I'm gonna be the strongest in the world one day, so you're basically passing up a chance to be the one who taught the strongest in the world." Helen disappeared around the door frame, doubled over in silent laughter, and even Igrette struggled to keep a straight face.

"Compelling," she said.

"But the answer is still no." Damn. Well, I tried.

"I know a few people who might be interested, though," she continued.

"I'll send a couple letters. Maybe they'll want to teach the, uh, future strongest in the world." Igrette reached a hand out, then hesitated. She didn't seem to know what to do with the hand, and ultimately just gave Jonny a few awkward pats on the shoulder before standing back up and putting her mask back on.

"It was nice meeting you, kid, but I'll be going now. Goodbye." Without waiting for a response, or even sparing Helen a glance, Igrette slid past Jonny and walked down the hall toward the exit. Helen had recovered by this point, and just silently watched her friend leave, and only when Igrette disappeared around a corner did she turn to look at Jonny.

"Damn," Jonny muttered.

"What was that?" asked Helen. Jonny froze. He wasn't supposed to know that word.

"Uh. I said… ham… because… I like ham?"

"Ah, right," said Helen, clearly not believing him.

"Well, I'll have to look into getting some soon." No scolding?

"You did well, Jonny," she said, ruffling his hair.

"But she said no."

"I have a feeling she'll be back," said Helen with a smirk.

"While you're here, why don't you come in? I still have some biscuits left. They have chocolate."

"Chocolate biscuits?"

"Do you want one?"

"Yes!" He had only had chocolate two or three times since being reincarnated. There was no way in hell he would pass up a chance at some now.

Igrette stood in front of the mirror in her room at the inn with a finger tracing the scar on her cheek. Cool as a cucumber… The little boy was not the first one to have thought well of her scar, but it was the first time she had gotten that kind of reaction from a child. Even the most polite or socially adept children still cringed and shied away when they first saw her without her mask. And even after getting used to it, they never stopped staring.

It didn't necessarily make her want to teach him, but it definitely made their meeting unforgettable. That conversation had the added benefit of completely cooling the anger she had felt when she first started storming out of Helen's office. If not for that, she would still have been fuming even now. Instead, she only felt sad. And a bit embarrassed. She understood why Helen had said what she said now. The kid wanted to learn "punching magic" and was determined to be the strongest in the world.

Of course, kids often spouted nonsense at that age, but it was different when he had already demonstrated such an aptitude for combat, and had somehow decided he would be the strongest despite living at an orphanage run by a healer. If he truly had the talent and motivation to follow through… Igrette sighed and walked over to her bed. Usually, this was the time she would head out to find something to drink, but for the first time in a long time, she wasn't in the mood.

Instead, she just lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling until sleep took her. The nightmares came, just as they did every time she still had her faculties about her when she fell asleep, but they were different tonight. There was no violence. No chaos. No death. Just old faces she thought she had forgotten and silence. When she woke up in the morning, her pillow was wet. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, then spent a full minute just staring blankly at the end of the bed. Dammit, she thought. Helen, you hag.

Why do you always have to be right? Before she could change her mind, she stood up, packed up what few things she had, and left the inn, setting out for the southern border. She had a cemetery to visit.

Three months passed without incident. Jonny trained, Tommy copied him, and sadly, no new instructor arrived to teach Jonny punching magic. He tried to learn on his own, and found moderate success. Moderate success being that he was able to replicate what he had done against the boar, overloading his upper body with mana and punching a tree so hard he broke his hand. That earned him another week of bed rest and two more weeks of slow recovery, but it was worth it, in his opinion.

He had taken the first step, and that was all that really mattered. Then, one day, he woke up to find the bedroom much busier than usual. He was a deep sleeper, so he was generally one of the last to wake up, and it wasn't unusual to find the other children up and about, but he had never seen them cleaning this early in the morning. There were even nuns clapping their hands and raising their voices to make sure the kids did everything correctly. The hell?

As soon as they noticed Jonny was awake, he too was conscripted into cleaning the room. When he asked why, they just said "you'll see soon" and told him to move faster so they could get breakfast before the porridge got cold. He remained confused through breakfast, even resorting to brainstorming with Tommy about what it could possibly mean.

They had to clean the bedrooms fairly often, but the last time they had to do it that early in the morning was when an inspector was coming to make sure the orphanage met some kind of standards. But they had all known about that beforehand, while this was a surprise, so it couldn't have been that. When breakfast ended, instead of splitting the children up by age, all of them were brought outside, and there, Jonny finally learned what all the commotion about.

Abbess Helen was already waiting outside, and beside her was a familiar figure that Jonny didn't think he would ever see again. Igrette was still wearing her mask, but she had lost her sword, and swapped her ordinary clothing for nun's robes, which she looked distinctly uncomfortable in. Or maybe it was just all the eyes on her that was making her uncomfortable.

"Children," called Helen.

"Listen up, children! Quiet down!" Lucy stepped forward and held a cowbell up, ringing it loudly until the children settled down.

"Thank you," said Helen.

"Children, today is a very exciting day, because starting today one of my old friends will be working here. Everyone, say hello to Sister Igrette."