Chương 69: They are Pucking

Tim's eyes fluttered open, the harsh fluorescent lights of the dojo's inner chamber making him wince. As his vision cleared, he realized he was lying on a couch, surrounded by the familiar faces of the meteor shower sect.

"Ah, so nice of you to wake, Grand Master," Yui chimed, her voice cutting through the heavy silence of the room. Riku, standing at his side, let out a long, shuddering breath of relief, her hand finally relaxing its grip on his. Tim groaned, the fog in his brain slowly lifting.

"Grand Master of getting my ass kicked, maybe," he wheezed, his voice raspy. He looked down, gingerly touching his ribs. The jagged, blackened gash that should have killed him was gone, replaced by a smooth, pink line of fresh scar tissue. The terrifying cold of the void had vanished. He looked directly at Yui, realizing she was the one who had patched his physical body back together.

"Hey... thanks," he said quietly.

"Meteor Sect sticks together," Yui shot back, though her usual smirk was missing. She looked exhausted.

"Although, we really need to talk things out." She stood up straight, crossing her arms and looking around the room. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the explosion of disbelief she assumed was coming.

"I am not from this world," Yui said, her voice dead serious.

"I am what you call a cultivator." She paused, waiting for the gasps, the confusion, or the accusations of insanity. Instead, there was only a dull silence. Riku just nodded, and Tim didn't even blink. Even Himari, sitting by the Takeshi, didn't look particularly shocked. Yui frowned, clearly annoyed by the lack of impact.

"Cultivators use the energy of the cosmos, called Qi, to gain power and progress toward godhood," she continued, her voice rising as if trying to force them to be surprised.

"I came here to hide." She looked at Tim, searching for a spark of wonder.

"Do you even understand what I'm saying? I'm an alien warrior with the powers of a superhero." Tim just sighed.

"Yeah, Yui. We get it. Trust me... we get it." Tim leaned adjusted his body on the couch lifting his head more.

"Okay," Tim said, "Maybe I should take it from here. The night of the meteor shower... I was just walking down the road, coming back from grabbing some drinks. When that light hit, it felt like my soul was being stretched, expanded until it split in half."

"I felt pushed," Tim continued, staring at a spot on the floor.

"Like something with a massive, ancient will was shoving me across a vast distance. I was forced into an empty vessel. They were already gone, I think. Just a body about to die after losing its soul." Yui's eyes narrowed, her fingers tapping rhythmically against her crossed arms.

"Hmmm," she hummed, her clinical mind clearly piecing together the spiritual physics.

"The meteor wasn't just a rock, Tim. We've suspected it for a while, but what you're describing confirms it. That 'meteor' was actually the fractured soul of a dead god." You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. The room seemed to grow colder at the mention of a deity. Even Master Kurokawa looked up, his expression unreadable.

"His last will must have guided you," Yui explained, her voice dropping to a more respectful tone.

"To find a compatible vessel in another world and maybe fulfil a purpose... this god must have had a substantial, almost terrifying understanding of the soul to pull off a feat like that while dead."

"You said you were pushed into them," Yui questioned, her eyes searching his.

"Do you have a body in the other world right now, Tim?"

"Ah, yeah," Tim replied, rubbing the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish.

"I'm actually a Foundation Establishment cultivator named Lia over there." The room went silent again, but this time it wasn't out of shock at the dual body—it was the name.

"Lia?" Yui repeated, her brow furrowing as she processed the syllables.

"Lia... that's a girl's name." She stared at Tim. The gears turned behind her eyes for three seconds before the realization.

"Oh wait... this is too good," Yui said, her voice trembling.

"You're a girl in the other world?" Suddenly, the "Serious Yui" persona shattered. Yui bent double, a sharp, barking laugh escaping her that echoed off the dojo walls. It was a loud, unbridled cackle of pure amusement that completely broke the tension of the last day.

"The Grand Master!" she wheezed, pointing a finger at Tim while trying to catch her breath.

"Your, your a girl named Lia! Oh, I am never letting you live this down." Tim's face flushed a deep shade of red.

"Hey, I didn't pick the vessel! It was an empty seat, okay? I was guided there!" Riku bit her lip, trying to stay supportive, but a small, traitorous giggle escaped her as she looked at Tim.

"Ah ah ah!" Himari bounced up and down, her eyes sparkling with the kind of joy only a best friend's supreme embarrassment can provide. She looked like she was about to explode with something she wanted to say.

"It gets better, Yui! It gets so much better!" Himari squealed, pointing a finger at the two of them. Yui, still wiping a tear of laughter from her eye, looked confused.

"Better? How could it get better than the 'Grand Master' having a girls body?" Himari turned her predatory grin toward Riku, who was suddenly trying very hard to hide behind the couch.

"Riku? Did the same thing happen to you?" Riku sighed, her face turning a shade of red that rivaled Tim's. She looked at Tim, then at the floor, and finally at Yui.

"Yeah... about the same. I'm a Foundation Establishment male cultivator over there. My name is Varek." The silence that followed was absolute. Yui blinked once, twice, looking from Tim to Riku and back again.

"So..." Yui started, her voice trembling with the effort not to laugh again.

"He's a girl... and you're a guy...?" Himari's hand shot up like a student who knew the answer to the most important question.

"Yes, Himari?" Yui asked, her voice full of anticipation.

"And they are fucking!" Himari stated with the bluntness of a sledgehammer. The effect was instantaneous. Tim, who had just been stabilized by a high-grade healing pill, immediately went into a violent coughing fit, his face turning a dangerous shade of purple as he choked on his own breath.

"WHAT?!" Riku shrieked, her voice hitting a frequency that probably set off every car alarm in a three-block radius. She looked at Himari with pure, unadulterated horror.

"Himari! Why would you—how could you—""WE ARE NOT!" Riku screamed, her voice cracking as she waved her hands frantically in front of her bright red face. She looked at Tim, who was still doubled over and hacking like he'd swallowed a handful of sand.

"Sorry, Tim," Riku muttered under her breath, leaning away from him as if physical distance would help her case.

"I have to save myself here." She turned back to Yui and Himari, pointing an accusatory finger at Tim.

"We are absolutely not fucking! Lia just doesn't want to put out! She's being a total tease!" Tim stopped coughing just long enough to let out a strangled, indignant noise, but Riku kept going, her words tumbling out in a panicked rush.

"But... okay, fine! She's kissing me! At least she's kissing me! That's it! That is the extent of it!" Yui leaned against the wall, her ribs aching from laughter.

"So, let me get this straight," she wheezed.

"You, a girl in this world, are a guy in the other world, trying to get into the pants of your boyfriend, who is a girl over there, but he—or she—is the one saying no?"

"It's complicated!" Riku and Tim shouted in unison.