Chương 127: A daughter's days

"Mmm. I don't wanna… Mommy, tell Mama… Mmmhmm…" Serel's eyes groggily drifted open. The ceiling stared back at her. She stared at it too for a few seconds, then her eyes slipped closed again. Curling tighter beneath the blankets, she hugged her pillow against her chest until one cheek squished deep into it.

"Mrrmm." Someone knocked on the door.

"Young lady," a muffled voice called from the other side.

"Be mindful not to oversleep." Serel pouted into her pillow. She wanted to sleep more. Could she… give a good excuse? Maybe if… Her thoughts trailed off. Then footsteps sounded outside. Serel's eyes opened. They were leaving! But she hadn't thought of an excuse yet. That meant she'd missed her chance… Another unhappy noise disappeared into her pillow. Mommy told her to take chances when she got them. But the bed was soft, and the blankets were warm, and her pillow was so huggable too.

Everything outside wasn't as comfy, so why should she go there? … Except Mama had told her not to stay in bed too long. Serel frowned. Mama was harder to argue with. Eventually, one foot wriggled its way out from beneath the blankets. Then the other. Serel kicked until most of the covers slid away, only for one corner to twist itself around her ankle. She kicked again, but it just got worse! Rather than bother fixing it, she hugged her pillow beneath her head and rolled sideways. Whump!

She landed on the floor with one leg still trapped in the blanket. A few moments passed as she stayed there, then a giggle escaped her. Mommy had gotten out of bed like that one time. She'd said it didn't hurt, and she was right! Serel pushed herself halfway upright, hair dangling messily over her face, and finally fought the blanket off her ankle. She threw the stupid thing into a pile beside the bed and climbed to her feet. Her mouth felt yucky.

There was a glass of water on a nightstand next to the bed, so she picked it up with both hands and drank until her throat stopped feeling dry.

"There was a pink dragon in my dream," she said as she put it down again.

"It breathed cakes. Mommy said I could eat them, and they were super tasty, but Mama made me throw them away." The room around her was silent. Serel waited a little anyway.

"Mmm. I think so too. Anyway, did you sleep well?" She looked down. The emberlight behind her had stretched her shadow almost all the way across the room. Its head went funny around a table, and one of its arms bent all crooked through a chair leg. Serel smiled.

"Howlie, that's silly. But it's okay! Good morning!" Howlie wasn't very talkative. He didn't really talk at all, actually. But Serel knew he would if he could. Mommy said you were supposed to treat pets properly even if they couldn't talk back, and Howlie was really smart. He always stayed with Serel when she was alone, and he listened to everything she told him. She did wish she didn't always have to figure out his answers herself, but she was sure he didn't mind. Howlie had never complained. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Serel looked toward the tall clock in the corner. It was one of those clocks Mommy said grandpas used, with a long shiny thing swinging back and forth behind the glass. Serel liked watching it, and she liked the tick-ticking sound too. It made her think of Grandpa Korrin. And Mommy. Right now, the clock said eight and… Seventeen! She was supposed to eat and bathe and dress up and stuff before nine, or else Mama would tell her off. Doing all that alone wasn't very fun, though.

It got a little more fun if Serel tried doing everything really fast. Yesterday, she had only needed a quarter-hour. She had counted afterward, and that was fifteen minutes. That still sounded kind of slow, but everyone had said it was fast. So that meant she had maybe… half an hour before she really needed to leave? That was so long. She padded across the room toward the comfy chair beside Grandpa's clock, climbed onto it on her knees, then spun around and dropped into the seat. Her legs dangled above the floor.

She had tried reaching it before, but even when she scooted all the way forward until she was almost lying on her back, her toes still couldn't touch. She wanted to be as tall as Mama one day. A book was waiting on the little table beside the chair. Serel brightened as she hauled the heavy thing into her lap and opened it where she had stopped yesterday. There were dragons on almost every page. That was why Serel liked this one.

The page in front of her showed a long silver dragon with four wings and a loooong tail that curled all the way around the edge of the picture. Its name was Bryzzirre, which Serel already knew how to read because Bryzzirre wasn't actually a hard word. It only looked hard, but it was easy after you heard it. She put one finger beneath the first line.

"Bryzzirre made its nest along the highest peaks of… Ex-ha-e-dren Rid-ges?" Serel stopped. She knew ridges. Ridges wasn't too hard. But that other word was weird. Xhaedren. Serel frowned at it. She didn't know what the place was, or where it was, or why. She would ask someone later. Her finger started moving again. Bryzzirre was really big, like all dragons. Vorthalor was only slightly big because he was a baby.

Serel didn't understand everything the book said about Bryzzirre, but she knew he had lived a really, really long time ago. Probably before she was born. Maybe even before Mama. She reached another word.

"Con… doo…" Serel leaned closer.

"Con-du-its." Conduits? She stared at it for a few seconds, then shook her head and kept going. Some words were just easy. Some words were just being stupid. Mommy said they were stupid because people kept making them up and then got too bored to remember making all the rules. Mama had said that wasn't true, but then Mommy asked why 'through' and 'though' didn't sound the same, and Mama hadn't answered for a while. Serel thought Mommy was probably right. If Serel made words, she might forget some rules too.

But maybe making words would be fun? It sounded easy if she only made a few.

"Flumberdunk." She covered her mouth and giggled. Flumberdunk. That was a good word. She didn't know what it meant yet, but she could decide later. Another knock came from the door.

"Young lady," a woman called.

"Are you awake?" Serel glanced at Grandpa's clock. Her eyes widened. Oh no…! She didn't have much time anymore. Serel hurriedly pushed the book back onto the table, thumped down from the chair, and ran across the room. She grabbed the pretty glass ball Mama had told her to always keep with her, nearly forgot where her slippers were, then hurried to the door and pulled it open. Sister Lysa stood outside. Lysa was super pretty. She had red hair and skin almost like Mama's, and really green eyes that Serel liked.

She had been helping take care of Serel when Mommy was away and Mama was busy, and she was almost as funny as Gloria. Mostly because she talked funny. Lysa's eyes moved over Serel, then stopped on her hair. Her eyebrows rose.

"Young lady," she said gravely, "it would appear a storm has made itself at home in your hair overnight." Serel's face warmed.

"I-I forgot…"

"Have no fear. Such devastation is well within my power to mend." Lysa lifted one hand and gave a solemn wave toward Serel's head.

"I shall see those unfortunate locks returned to pristine order. But come—we must abscond with due haste, lest your lady mother discover that sloth has once again laid siege to your morning routine." Serel didn't understand all of that, but she understood the part about Mama.

"Mmm!" Lysa turned and started down the corridor with quick steps.

"Good morning, Mister Gower! Good morning, Mister Dillen!" Serel greeted the two men stationed outside her room, and both of them greeted her back. They were always there to make sure nobody snuck inside while she was sleeping. Mommy said people sometimes did that just to move bookmarks to the wrong page. Serel still wasn't sure if that was true. She knew Mommy liked to lie. But it could be true. She hurried after Lysa. The rest of the morning went really, really fast after that.

Lysa helped her bathe and fixed her hair, and Serel got dressed in one of the nice dresses Mommy had given her. Then came breakfast, which was good. The food at the Ashfast was almost always good. Serel had eggs, bread with super tasty berry jam, and little sausages that she liked enough to eat four of before Bernhard asked whether she wanted any more. Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings. Serel thought about it for a while before shaking her head.

She had watched Mommy cook before, and it took forever. Mister Welles—who was very kind and also very round and always smelled like warm bread—probably had to do even more cooking because there were so many people here. If Serel ate everything, maybe he would have to start all over again. So four sausages was enough. Probably. Serel really liked being at the Ashfast. There were so many people here who were nice to her, and if she wanted something, she usually only had to ask and somebody would help!

That part was still a little strange, though. Sometimes she worried Mama wouldn't be able to pay for it. Mama was already paying so much for all the people working here, after all. So Serel tried not to ask for too much at once. That seemed safest. But things were still super nice. She just wished Mommy and Mama were here right now. She missed eating with Mommy. She wanted to draw with her, and eat Mommy's pancakes, and listen to Mommy and Mama talk about things Serel only understood some of.

She wanted to hug them both too. And laugh with them. But Serel didn't want everyone to know she was sad about it. Mommy had said she really needed to leave because it would help Serel, and Mama was super important and had lots and lots of important things to do. Serel understood that. There had been times before when Serel almost forgot what Mama looked like… But not anymore! Now she saw Mama almost every day. Mama came to her room and ate with her sometimes and watched her train sometimes.

She asked Serel what she'd learned, even when Serel forgot half of it before she could explain. That was much better. Serel smiled as she pictured Mama's always-serious face. Maybe she should draw it! Mommy had drawn Serel before, so Serel could make a portrait of Mama too. Then she could show Mama, and when Mommy came back, she could show her too.

"Young lady, the hour of your first lesson fast approaches," Lysa said. Serel looked at her, then at the eggs still sitting on her plate. Oh. She hurriedly stuffed the last few bites into her mouth, chewed as fast as she could, and pushed herself off the chair.

"Mmm! Let's go!" Mama said Mommy couldn't teach Serel everything, so she had found other people to be her 'tutors' instead. Tutor was just a funnier word for teacher. There were different ones depending on the day. Today she had Master Orlan for what he called numbers and 'reckoning'—Mommy just called it math—and Master Veysen for the history of the central dominions. There was also Mistress Ardel who was teaching Serel letters and etiquette… Master Orlan and Master Veysen were okay.

They were both really old, maybe even older than Grandpa Korrin, but they knew lots of things. Serel sometimes got confused, especially when Master Veysen started talking about reeeally old things, but it could still be interesting. They weren't as fun as Grandpa Korrin, but everybody didn't have to be fun. Mistress Ardel was different, though. Her hair was almost the same color as Serel's, except she always twisted it into a really tight bun that made it look boring. The rest of her was kind of boring too.

Serel didn't hate boring, but Mistress Ardel was scary as well. Serel had only taken two lessons with her, and both times she'd had to sit completely straight, keep both hands on the table unless she was writing, pronounce every word properly, and stop tapping her feet against the chair. Serel tried staying quiet and doing what she was told. The lessons lasted until lunch. Mama still wasn't there, but Lysa and Bernhard were, and the food was super tasty again, so Serel didn't mind too much.

Afterward, she got a little time to play in her room before it was finally time for her favorite part of the day. When Lysa came to fetch her, Serel changed into the training clothes Mama had bought her: a light black tunic with short sleeves, fitted trousers that wouldn't catch around her legs, and soft boots that came up past her ankles. Then she grabbed her dark wooden sword and hurried out. Lysa followed as Serel rushed through the halls toward the training chamber. Sword lessons were always fun!

"Again." Serel lifted the practice sword. Master Dain stood several steps away, arms folded across his chest. He was almost as bald as Uncle Vanded, and he had a huuuge scar that went across his nose and almost all the way from one side of his face to the other. He almost never smiled either. Serel had been a little scared of him at first. Mostly because he'd gotten annoyed during their first lesson when she started playing with the sword. Mama had told her not to do that, but Serel had forgotten.

She'd wanted to try spinning with her sword, and then she'd wanted to see if she could jump while swinging it, and Master Dain hadn't liked either of those things very much. Mama had spoken to her afterward. She hadn't been mad, but she explained there were times Serel could just have fun and times she needed to focus properly. Serel had felt bad after that. She thought Master Dain would be even scarier during their next lesson. But he wasn't.

He'd sat down with her instead and asked why she liked swords so much, and what parts she thought were fun, and a bunch of other things. After that, the lessons got much better. Master Dain still made her practice all the boring parts, but sometimes he also let Serel try the things she wanted once she did everything properly first. Mama hadn't told her, but apparently Master Dain was one of the swordsmasters who trained the Py-ric Oath's 'Firesworn', like Mister Gower and Master Dillen outside Serel's room.

He had even helped train Mama when she was younger. That part puzzled Serel just a bit, because she thought he and Mama were both old. When she had told him that, Master Dain had said she probably shouldn't tell Mama that. Then he'd mumbled that Mommy would probably think it was funny." First Edge," Master Dain said. Serel quickly set her feet the way he had shown her. Right foot back and left foot forward. Then she raised her sword and cut toward the straw-wrapped post in front of her. Thwack!

The impact jolted through her hands.

"Rear foot," Master Dain said.

"Shift it back. Your elbow as well." Serel looked down, moved her foot where it was supposed to go, then fixed her arm. She tried again. Thwack! Serel smiled. She really liked the noises swords made. The little fwshh when they cut through the air, and the thwack when they hit something. But Mama and Mommy could make much cooler sounds. Serel wanted to do that too.

"Better," Master Dain said.

"At ease." She lowered the sword and turned toward him. Master Dain looked at her for a few seconds, his face doing the same thing Mama's did when she was thinking really hard without looking like she was thinking at all. Mommy said it was a disease some people had, but Serel knew that was a lie.

"We'll start introducing Resonance into your First Edge during your next lesson." Serel's eyes widened, and her smile showed almost all her teeth.

"Really?!"

"Yes." Master Dain nodded.

"We won't move past First Seal anytime soon, but at your Binding, learning a single Form should be possible. And First Edge seems to suit you." Serel hugged the practice sword Mama had given her against herself. She was going to learn a real Form! She could show Mama. And Mommy when she came back. And Gloria and Uncle Vanded and Vorthalor and Caldrin and— Everyone! Forms were so much fun. They were harder than Marks, though. With a Mark, Serel could always feel when the Resonance was wrong and went funny somewhere.

Swords and Forms were meaner. Sometimes everything felt right, and Master Dain still found three things she had done wrong. But Serel really, really liked them. By the end of the lesson, her arms felt heavy and her hair was sticking to her forehead. Lysa crouched beside her with a cool cloth and wiped the sweat from Serel's face while Master Dain watched. Serel tried not to fidget. He hadn't changed his mind, had he?

"Your attitude towards instruction has improved considerably," he finally said.

"Even if your attention wanders, and there's much to correct, you show potential. Just don't forget that you have years of difficult work ahead of you if you want to reach the same level as the Keeper." Serel nodded so quickly Lysa had to pull the cloth away from her face.

"I won't forget!"

"Good." Master Dain gave her one last long look, then turned and walked away. Serel waited until he had left, then twisted toward Lysa with a huge grin. Lysa smiled back.

"You were very dashing, young lady."

"Thank you!" After that, Serel got another break. She spent most of it in her room, trying to draw Mama the way Mommy had taught her and talking to Howlie while she worked. She really wanted to play with Vorthalor too, but he was probably with Mama. He wouldn't fit in Serel's room anyway. He was too big. Maybe he could stick his head through one of the bigger windows in the other rooms? Serel smiled at the thought and added another line to Mama's face, then frowned when it didn't look completely right.

Mommy made drawing look easy. Serel was doing what she'd shown her, but the lines kept going all wobbly, and Mama's eyes looked like they were pointing in two different directions. Serel's frown deepened as she tried fixing one. That only made it worse. If Mommy was just here— Her hand stopped. Serel bit her lip. After a moment, she reached up and wrapped her fingers around the Wick hanging from her neck. Mommy would be back soon. She promised. Serel held it for a few seconds longer, then kept drawing.

By evening, it was time for Marks. Serel had already had five different Mark tutors since coming to the Ashfast. Nobody had told her why they kept changing. They all acted so surprised when they taught her, though. One man had even gone pale after Serel finished his lesson too quickly, and then he hadn't come back after that. Serel still remembered the way he'd looked at her… She knew she wasn't normal. She knew there were weird things about her. She knew it wasn't normal to have two moms, and she confused people.

Serel liked weird. She wasn't sure she liked being weird. Those were uncomfortable thoughts. She didn't like thinking about the scared man. She didn't like wondering if there was something wrong with her. Or if maybe she was why Mommy had been— Serel shook her head hard. No. Mommy was always going to be with her. She had promised. Even when Serel got really old, Mommy said she would still be there, and Serel wasn't planning on getting old for a really long time anyway.

So she pushed the stupid thoughts away and decided to focus on tonight's lesson. Her new tutor was Master Pell. He was another old man, with a long gray beard and lots of wrinkles around his eyes. He was nice, but he was also careful. Serel could tell just from his Resonance. It felt thin and twisty from how old he was, but everything inside it moved in little measured bits, like Master Pell wanted to check where it was going before he let it go anywhere. Mama's Resonance sometimes had a little of that too.

Mommy's almost never did. Except sometimes when she was with Mama. Mommy's Resonance was almost the most interesting when she was around Mama. Master Pell wasn't that interesting, but at least he hadn't looked surprised when Serel learned the Mark of the Guiding Ember after seeing him use it once. Serel liked that, even if the Mark itself wasn't nearly as fun as the Forms she had practiced earlier. It was a little annoying how slowly he made her do everything, though.

"Slower," Master Pell reminded her again, seated opposite her in the practice chamber. Serel frowned as she moved a tiny thread of Resonance through the half-finished Mark floating above her palm. A little ember followed it, leaving a glowing line behind as she carefully drew another curve.

"I'm going slow."

"Slower still."

"Why?"

"Because you must learn patience, young girl. Your control is marvelous, but your patience is not."

"I am patient." Serel was super good at waiting. For Mommy. For Mama. For lots of things.

"Perhaps in character." Master Pell shook his head, his beard brushing against the front of his robes.

"But not in spirit. In essence." Serel blinked at him. Master Pell looked deep into her eyes.

"Your Resonance is extraordinary. It understands the structure of an invocation almost as soon as you show it what you want. But because of that, it has never truly needed to wait. It reaches for what you ask of it immediately, without first learning when it should not."

"Is that bad?"

"Yes and no. Your Resonance carries the influence of every Great House. With your ability, there may be little physically stopping you from attempting a weak Fifth Seal even now." His expression grew more serious.

"But power shapes the spirit that wields it, just as the spirit impresses itself upon the world. Upon actuality. If you learn only how to make the world listen, and never how to stop yourself from speaking, then one day you may cause harm without ever intending to." Serel scrunched her face as she tried to fit all of that together.

"But my Mommy isn't patient." Master Pell gave a deep laugh.

"Yes, I have heard the tales. Your 'Mommy' is Veralyth Mournvale, correct?"

"Mmm!"

"Well, the Marked Ones exist somewhat outside the bounds of common sense. I would hesitate to use any of them as examples of proper restraint." His mouth twitched a little.

"That said, both of your parents possess enough strength to leave very real marks upon the world around them, beyond even what ordinary mortals can see. I would be surprised if neither had faced difficulties because of it."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, let us return to the matter at hand." They continued the lesson, but Serel couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said. Was her Resonance impatient? Why? Wasn't her Resonance just her? …If so, couldn't she just make it better?

"Young girl? Serel, what are you—?" While working on her Mark, Serel felt her Resonance. Then she reached down and tugged at one tiny thread that felt like it could lead her to more. She wanted to see what she could change. The room went funny with colors of violet bleeding in.

"Serel—" Her Resonance suddenly felt much bigger than it had a moment ago. Bigger and deeper, with something cold underneath, like the whole room had another floor hiding beneath the real one and Serel had accidentally put her foot through. Something pressed into her palm. A little handle that fit her fingers perfectly. There wasn't actually anything there, but somehow Serel knew it was a knife. She knew exactly how to hold it too, and she couldn't let go. She knew she should. But she just—"Whoa now.

Getting a bit too daring, aren't we?" A hand appeared in front of Serel. Two fingers pinched together at the air, and her Resonance stopped. All the Resonance Serel had started pulling loose scrunched together between the stranger's fingers, and suddenly the room felt normal again. Master Pell stumbled backward, his eyes so wide Serel could see the white around them. Serel turned her head. A woman was crouching beside her.

She had dark hair, really pale pearly eyes, and grayish skin with dark lines running through it like somebody had drawn all over her. She was smiling too, like something really funny had happened. The Resonance caught between her fingers wobbled and twisted. Most of it wanted to go back to Serel. One little violet piece didn't. It kept squirming. The woman noticed.

"Ah-ah." She caught that piece between two fingers of her other hand and pulled. It stretched into a thin, beautiful little strand before coming loose. Then she snapped her fingers, and it was gone. Serel's shadow moved behind her. Howlie rose out of it, growing taller until his dark shape stood over Serel's shoulder. He didn't growl, but he stayed very close and watched the woman carefully. The woman looked at him.

"Oh," she said.

"You're adorable and travel-size? Wish I'd gotten one. Vera's pretty lucky, isn't she?" Serel stared. There was something really weird about the woman. But also something familiar. It wasn't her face, because Serel was sure she hadn't seen it before. But whatever had been down beneath the room had felt a little like her. The woman's pearly eyes shifted back to Serel.

"Struck mute, are we? Awestruck? Yes, I know, I'm terribly—""Cool," Serel muttered. She looked really, really cool! The woman stopped. She blinked, then her smile changed.

"I think I might like you." She chuckled.

"That said, you ought to be a little more careful when calling on the Daughter. Wasn't too bad this time, but she can be a handful, and you're what? Three? Wait until you're at least out of kindergarten before you start trying to break reality." She waved one hand, and the last scraps of Serel's tangled Resonance slipped apart and returned to normal. Then the woman pointed at herself.

"Mireya, though cooler people like your Mommy call me Mira. Starting today, I'm a super nanny." Master Pell made a strange choking sound. Mira looked over at him for the first time and squinted.

"Oh. You're Winfrey Pell, aren't you? From Emberfast." Master Pell considered her for several seconds.

"…I am."

"Huh. You're actually pretty qualified." Mira nodded to herself, then waved him away.

"Unfortunately, I'm here now. Shoo. I'm her new teacher." The man looked from Mira to Serel, then back again.

"You are not her teacher," another voice said. Serel jolted and twisted around. Mama stood only a few steps away near the entrance. Serel hadn't even noticed her come in! And Mama looked very unhappy… Mira glanced at her, then slowly turned back to Serel. One eye closed in a quick, sneaky wink.

"Guess I'll just have to teach you in secret, then."