Chương 121: Forgotten

Something that definitely shouldn't have popped did exactly that when Vera moved. She grimaced and stopped halfway through sitting up, one hand braced against the floor. Then she gathered her Resonance and invoked another Mark of Hollow Mercy, hoping it would fix whichever part of her body had apparently ended up in the wrong position. There was a faint shifting sensation beneath her ribs. Vera decided not to focus too hard on the icky sensation that followed. She pushed herself the rest of the way up.

This time, her body didn't complain. Not too much, at least. She knew she'd been the one to start the fight, but Yria really hadn't hesitated once the weapons were out of the way, had she? It made Vera wonder exactly how the Veralyth of this world had grown up, if she'd spent her youth with someone like that beside her. There had definitely been some pent-up anger behind the blows Vera had been dishing out. That's for sure.

She rolled her shoulders, testing what still hurt and getting a feel for her condition, then held out a hand and let Stillwake appear in her grasp. It had taken a bit longer to get her Resonance under control than she'd expected. She wasn't great at keeping track of time—it would have been nice to have Caldrin around for that—but she would wager at least ten minutes had passed. That was more than enough time for Yria to catch Roderic and cut him into itsy-bitsy pieces.

Then again, Vera had probably bought him close to ten minutes before Yria started chasing him. That should have been enough to get something done. Assuming he hadn't gotten lost. Vera honestly still wasn't too sure how much she trusted that man to know what he was doing. His whole thing in Ashen Legacy had been that he was a con man who always got in over his head but somehow still managed. If Vera was lucky, she wouldn't be finding his lifeless corpse at the end of this.

She didn't actually know Roderic that well, but she had a feeling she would be sad if he died. Or disappointed, at the very least. But Vera didn't really think Yria would kill him, even if it came to that. The woman clearly had her issues—most of them involving Vera, apparently—but she didn't give the feeling of someone who would murder a weaker opponent for getting in her way. Vera just knew she wasn't that ruthless. That wasn't necessarily evidence that Roderic was alive, but it was evidence-adjacent.

Vera took an extra moment to steady her breathing and make sure her Resonance had stopped trying to tear itself into unrelated directions. Then she cut Stillwake through the air in front of her. Mark of Hollow Reach. Nothing happened. She tried again, shaping the Mark more carefully this time and fixing her attention on the strange Hollow-like Resonance she could still sense deeper inside the Sanctum. The invocation failed before it could take hold.

"Huh." She knew roughly where she needed to go. Usually, that was enough. Was there some kind of barrier inside the Sanctum that was interfering with Hollow Reach? That would explain why Yria had run after Roderic instead of simply cutting through space. Vera sighed. Then she started running. Figuring out where to go in this place was a task in itself when all she had to follow was a vague impression of direction and distance.

The corridors bent at pretty inconvenient angles, split without warning, and more than once dumped her into random chambers that seemed to exist solely to house an unreasonable number of ledgers. Most were packed so tightly onto the shelves that Vera genuinely wondered how anyone was even supposed to remove one without causing some kind of paper avalanche. She also didn't get the obsession. What was even the point of the archive she'd come through if the rest of the Sanctum was apparently one giant archive too?

There seemed to be a much better system back at Sablewatch Hollow. Why couldn't they do something similar? All this place accomplished was making her wonder whether punching through a few walls would actually be faster. Unfortunately, it probably wouldn't. She might've asked the two people she accidentally ran into for directions, but they proved a little too busy panicking.

To be fair, the last thing they were probably expecting was a bloodied woman dressed entirely in black sprinting around a corner with a halberd in her hands in the middle of the night. Vera couldn't blame them, but that didn't stop her from knocking them unconscious. She felt a little bad about it, but she'd been careful with her strength. From what she could tell through their Resonance, they were mostly fine. Detours aside, she did eventually find what she was looking for.

The chamber sat pretty deep in the Sanctum, at the end of a descending stairway that opened into a narrow corridor with a heavy door at the far end. The odd Resonance Vera had been following was much thicker here. It did feel buried beneath something, but now she could finally make out some of the 'texture.' Which made her pause. There was something strangely familiar about this Resonance. It wasn't normal Hollow Resonance. That was clearer than ever. But it didn't feel bad either. It was just a bit odd.

When Vera reached the door, she grabbed the handle and wasn't especially surprised when it was locked. Crushing Wake. A visible wave of force erupted from Stillwake and the door exploded off its hinges. A deluge of Resonance surged out as whatever sigil-crafted wards had been protecting it reacted, but they were a little late to stop a door that was already halfway across the room. Vera stepped through the opening without paying too much attention to the wards. The chamber beyond was fairly big.

There were papers hanging from wires for some reason, along with a bunch of generic-looking sigils carved into the floor. Vera didn't really bother looking at those, though, as her attention settled on the people standing in the middle of the chamber. Yria. One old man Vera wasn't too familiar with, but who she assumed was Sancter Auber Voss based on the briefing she'd been given before heading here. And Roderic. Oddly enough, Roderic looked completely fine.

Even if Vera hadn't expected him to be missing any limbs, she figured Yria would've roughed him up a little. Put him through some aggressive questioning. But Roderic hadn't even lowered his hood. All three of them had turned toward her, and they were just... Watching her. Forget fighting each other. It was as if they'd been in the middle of a conversation that had been interrupted. Vera slowed, suddenly feeling awkward. She felt like she'd walked into the wrong room.

Why was the vibe here so different from what she'd been expecting? Wait. Her gaze swept across the chamber again, and a frown tugged at her brow. Where was that Resonance she'd been following coming from? She could feel it lingering like a heavy fog over the room, but it almost seemed to be fading. And there wasn't any obvious source. Vera kept walking slowly until she finally stopped a few steps from the others, Stillwake hanging loosely in one hand with its crown resting near the floor.

Her eyes drifted to Yria's sword, placed at the woman's side, then to Roderic.

"…What's going on?" she asked. Roderic hesitated. He glanced at Yria, then Sancter Voss, looking almost unsure if he should say anything. That was… weird. Really weird.

"Zero—" he began.

"Just Vera, please," Vera said.

"I already ditched the hood." He inclined his head.

"Vera, then." Roderic paused.

"Just to confirm… you only arrived a moment ago? This was your first time entering this chamber?" Vera narrowed her eyes.

"... Yeah."

"I see." That was all he said. Vera stared at him.

"What's that about? Are you planning on explaining anything?"

"I…" Roderic hesitated.

"I don't believe that is my place right now." He looked toward Yria, and Vera followed his gaze. Yria hadn't taken her eyes off her. There was something Vera couldn't quite place in the woman's look. Definitely some of the cold resolve from earlier when they were fighting, but now mixed in with something else.

"What?" Vera asked. She dismissed Stillwake and folded her arms. Whatever was happening here, it didn't seem like there was about to be another fight. Yria kept watching her, and Vera started to grow annoyed when the woman finally raised her hands to sign. How were you injured? Vera blinked, not expecting that to be the first question.

"I fought something big," she said after a moment's consideration. What? Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"You wouldn't have heard about it." Yria stayed still for a while, then signed again. In the Thryne Passes?

"Yeah." Without looking away from Vera, Yria turned slightly and signed toward Sancter Voss. Vera only noticed then that the old man was staring at her differently from the other two. He was studying her with crazy intensity. Honestly, it was kind of creepy. Yria finished signing, but Sancter Voss didn't react. It wasn't until Yria snapped her fingers that he finally blinked and tore his gaze away from Vera.

"Hm? What? What is it?" The readings you mentioned. Were they from the Thryne Passes?

"From the what?" Sancter Voss frowned at Yria's hands.

"Slower, woman. These old eyes don't follow signs as quickly as you Cycle-Forged can move."

"She is asking whether the readings came from the Thryne Passes," Roderic offered from the side, the veil hiding his face still giving his voice that mysterious quality.

"The Passes?" Sancter Voss squinted at Roderic's face for a moment, then turned back to Yria.

"Yes, that's where they came from. I haven't read the full reports yet, but it was the largest surge of Resonance we've ever detected in this region." Hollow Resonance? Yria signed.

"Hollow Resonance?" Roderic repeated.

"I got that one." Sancter Voss shot him a small glare.

"But yes. Hollow Resonance, among others." Yria looked back at Vera. What did you do?

"Is this relevant?" Vera asked. Things had progressed strangely here. She wasn't keen on dragging this out while she was the only one standing around confused. Yria nodded once. Vera considered her for another couple of seconds, then let her arms drop.

"Fine. I fought the thing responsible for the storms blocking the pass, and I needed it very dead. It was refusing to cooperate, so I pushed Mark of Withering Hollow beyond the Fifth Seal to finish things." Yria's eyes widened just slightly.

"Beyond the Fifth Seal?!" Sancter Voss's voice carried across the chamber. Vera instinctively took a step back as the old man hurried toward her with both hands outstretched. A feverish excitement had started spreading across his face.

"You've broken the boundaries of the Seals? How? Tell me! Whatever you require, I'll provide it! The Sanctum of Darnelle will be entirely at your disposal!" He stopped as an unadorned sword settled against his throat. The man's eyes dropped to the blade, then slowly moved to the side where Yria was holding it. Some of the crazed excitement faded from his face. After a moment, he stepped back, muttering something under his breath about Marked Ones.

Vera was a little taken aback by the whole thing, but she stayed quiet as Yria lowered her sword and turned back to her. Your Resonance was injured because of that?

"…Yeah." Was that the only repercussion?

"No. My body took a beating too. But apparently that'll heal with enough time." Nothing else?

"No." Yria's gaze stayed on her. After a while, the woman's eyes briefly drifted to the chains attached to her sword. Her thumb brushed over one of them before she looked Vera in the eyes again. What was Mother Pale's real name? Vera pressed her lips together.

"You're doing this again? Are you expecting a different result from last time?" Answer. Vera glanced at Roderic and Sancter Voss. She didn't particularly want to go through this in front of an audience. Eventually, though, she looked back at Yria.

"I don't know," she said. Yria showed no reaction. She simply signed again. What did you steal from me during the Ashwane when we first met?

"I don't know," Vera repeated. What did you see in the Crucible of Echoes?

"I don't know." What was your father's name?

"I don't kno—" Vera froze. She scowled. That question hadn't been asked last time. What was Yria trying to get at? Whatever. It didn't matter. Vera would answer honestly regardless. She was past the point of caring about trying to hide things in front of the woman.

"I don't kno—" she started, only to freeze again. Yria watched her patiently. … Wait. Something was wrong here. Yria was asking about Veralyth Mournvale's father. That much should be obvious, and of course Vera didn't know the answer. She didn't even care that much. She had never written any of that down in the backstory, and no one she had met knew that much about the original's past. But Vera was still locking up. Why? It wasn't like she didn't know her father's name. Vera Morgan's father. His name was...

A cold knot tightened in her stomach when nothing immediately came to mind. No. This was stupid. She was just blanking for a second. It had been years since she'd said his name out loud, but she had seen it plenty of times afterward in probate papers, bank documents, and all the other paperwork she'd had to deal with after her parents died. She could practically imagine it before her. The shape of the letters pressed in black ink was right there. So why couldn't she read them? Her mother's name, then.

She knew her mother's name. Margaret Jasmine Richard Morgans. There. That came easily enough. So why the hell couldn't she remember her father's name? Vera's focus snapped back to Yria as the woman's hands moved. The gestures weren't as curt or deliberate as usual. They came slower this time. Almost quietly. I warned you.

"Warned me?" Vera stepped closer.

"Warned me about what?" That this is where it would bring you.

"What the hell does that mean? All you did was glare at me for not being what you wanted. I can live with that. But tell me—" Vera's voice thinned.

"Why can't I remember my father's name?" Yria didn't move back, even when Vera's face came right in front of her. I'm sorry. This time, there were no gestures. Vera felt the meaning directly through Yria's Resonance. I was wrong. I thought it was because you were Chosen.

"Answer the question, Yria." It's because you've forgotten, Vera.

"Why?" Because it's part of your identity. Vera stared into Yria's eyes. There was anger in them, but it wasn't directed at her. That was probably the only reason Vera managed not to grab the woman by the shoulders.

"…Explain," she said.

"Plainly. Please." Yria's Resonance shifted and settled around Vera. This time, the meaning carried more than words. Vera felt the emotions behind them too. The anger was there, mixed with disappointment and a kind of exhaustion Vera hadn't felt from Yria before. I don't know when it began. I first noticed after you killed the Hollow King, when we visited Mother Pale's grave. You couldn't remember her name. You had forgotten it, and the names of all the others buried with her. Vera's brow tightened.

What was she even talking about? I questioned you about it. You said it was a sacrifice.

"A sacrifice? Of what?" Your memories. Yria's Resonance almost seemed to contract around that answer. I originally thought it was the cost of being Chosen. I was wrong.

"…Then what was it?" Vera asked, feeling unsure about where this was going. You were giving the memories up yourself. Trading pieces as your identity. For power.

"Power against what?" The Hollow King. The Ashkeeper. The burdens of the Chosen and the threats kept at bay by the title. Whenever you reached the limit of what you could handle, you gave up more of yourself and pushed past it.

"Hold on. Wait." Vera pressed a hand to her temple and stepped back. She hadn't heard about any of this before. Not from Caldrin, Elaria, or anyone else who had known the original Veralyth. It was just way too sudden of a revelation. You didn't stop when I told you to, Yria continued. I warned you that if you continued, there would be nothing left. Vera lowered her hand. Was that what Yria actually thought had happened to her?

That Vera had lost enough memories that, at some point, there hadn't been enough of her left to still be herself? Was that what all of Yria's questions had really been about? Yria's gaze on her suddenly turned sharper. … Do you have your journal? The question carried a strange sense of expectation, as if the woman already had a pretty good idea what the answer would be. Vera frowned.

"What journal?" Yria's expression eased. I misunderstood you. I thought this you was just a— The woman stopped before Vera could make out the rest. For several seconds, nothing came through the woman's Resonance. Finally, Yria moved her hands instead of her Resonance. If you don't have it, that's good.

"Why?" Vera asked suspiciously. Because it means there's more of you now than there was before you disappeared. Vera had to take a moment to process that. Everything she'd learned about the original Veralyth had made the woman sound so similar to her that Vera had started thinking of her as basically the same person, just with a very different life behind her. Not exactly the same, obviously, but close enough. But Yria was making it sound like that hadn't been true toward the end.

"Why doesn't anyone else know about this? Caldrin. Elaria. Syl. None of them ever mentioned me regularly forgetting things." They hadn't seemed especially surprised whenever Vera admitted she couldn't remember something after returning, but there had never been any sign that they knew this had already been happening before. You chose to hide it, Yria signed. I never agreed.

"How could I possibly hide something like that?" Yria didn't answer. Vera narrowed her eyes.

"Was the journal you mentioned part of that?" It took a few seconds, but eventually, Yria nodded. Yes.

"Where is it?" If the original Veralyth had kept some kind of journal, Vera wanted it. She had looked through the archives back in Sablewatch Hollow, but she hadn't found anything that fit. There had been some entries in that vein, sure, but nothing that would let a person hide actual amnesia. I don't know where it is. I recommend that you don't try to find it again.

"What, are you afraid I'll use it again?" Yria went still. Her Resonance returned. When it settled around Vera again, the meaning carried an almost strained edge. It's better if you never put yourself in a position where you need it. Yria looked Vera directly in the eyes. If you don't want your daughter to be the next thing you forget, stop sacrificing yourself. Serel. Just imagining herself forgetting that name hit hard enough that Vera couldn't answer for a moment.

"… But I can't stop being Chosen," she forced out. That wasn't even an option now. It just wasn't. Did that mean it was only a matter of time? Was this going to keep happening? Had she already been losing memories ever since she woke up in this world without even realizing it? You're Truebound and Cycle-Forged now. Once, the burdens inherent to being Hollow's Chosen might have been too much, but you can handle what you couldn't before. It only becomes dangerous when you force yourself past those limits.

So it wouldn't happen automatically. Relief flooded through Vera.

"You mean pushing myself like I did in the Thryne Passes?" Yes. When Vera had forced the Mark of Withering Hollow beyond the Fifth Seal, she had felt it demanding more. She had simply met that demand, reaching for whatever she could find inside herself. At the time, she hadn't bothered asking what more actually meant, even if that seemed like a pretty important question now. Part of her wanted to be angry at Cin for telling her to try it. That wasn't entirely fair.

He probably hadn't known what the actual price would be, and Vera was the one who had kept pushing until something gave. She was fairly sure she actually drew more power than she even needed. The worst part was that she couldn't even tell how much she'd lost. It didn't feel like much was missing, but that meant absolutely nothing. If she forgot something completely, how was she supposed to know it had ever been there? How much power was there in just forgetting her father's name?

"How does this whole thing even work?" Vera asked.

"How is sacrificing memories for power an ability I had without realizing it? Where does something like that come from? You said you thought it was because I was Chosen, but you were wrong." Neither in Ashen Legacy nor since waking up in this world had she ever heard of anything remotely similar. Yria's Resonance washed over her in response. House Hollow stewards memory and uses it to curtail threats from beyond. You know this better than anyone, Vera.

The meaning paused, and Vera caught a trace of hesitation beneath it. But sacrifice is not one of Hollow's domains. Memories can be forgotten. Sometimes they should be. But their willing sacrifice has never fallen under the authority of any aspect or god within the House.

"Then how come I can do that?" Because it's part of your identity.

"You said that already. I still don't know what it means." Vera shook her head.

"Are you just repeating random things you don't understand either?" The corner of Yria's mouth twitched just slightly. …Vera, don't test me.

"Then explain it better. What part of my identity are we talking about? Because I sure as hell wasn't aware of it."

"She's saying you established an ideal," Sancter Voss cut in, sounding slightly impatient. Yria frowned at him.

"An ideal?" Vera asked.

"An ideal. Or the beginnings of one, at least." The old man gestured between Vera, the sigils carved across the floor, and the papers hanging from their wires.

"Your Resonance impressed your identity upon actuality strongly enough that the world began recognizing principles attached to it. You started forming a burgeoning aspect—divinity shaped by its own rules, rather than bound inside the artificial limitations of something incomplete like an apotheon." Vera stared at him.

"…You're saying I became a god?"

"No." Sancter Voss looked offended by the simplification.

"You are still mortal. Mostly. But divinity does not begin with a throne and a collection of worshippers. According to every surviving account from the previous ages, it begins when an identity becomes significant enough that actuality starts enforcing the principles it represents." His earlier excitement started creeping back into his face.

"In your case, it appears memory willingly surrendered becomes power. Sacrifice stops being merely a cost and becomes an expression of Hollow. No authority like that existed within the House before you introduced it. You are teaching Hollow a new rule. The surrounding circumstances are a mystery, but even then, isn't this a nascent divine identity without a proper vessel, title, or established authority? Do you have any idea how extraordinary that is?

If I could examine your Resonance alongside the apotheon—" The chains attached to Yria's sword rattled. Sancter Voss glanced at her hands, caught the single sharp sign she made, and visibly deflated.

"…Fine. Later."

"No," Vera said.

"Definitely not later." She didn't entirely understand what he wanted to do, but she knew enough to want no part of it. Vera looked back at Yria.

"Let's say I buy all of what he just said…" She wasn't sure how she—or the original Veralyth—had apparently started creating new forms of divinity by accident, but the idea of being or becoming something semi-divine wasn't all that mind-blowing on its own. Ever since waking up in this body, Vera had already felt herself drifting farther from the limits of an ordinary mortal. It wasn't as if a normal person could kill something like a Silent Lord or the White Maw.

What bothered her more was what this did to all her assumptions about the original Veralyth, and what exactly Vera was working with moving forward.

"There's still one thing I don't understand," she continued, studying Yria.

"What changed your mind? When we fought earlier, you were treating me like some stranger wearing the wrong face. Now you're explaining my missing memories like you already know what happened." Yria's expression tightened.

"You learned something after you left me," Vera said.

"What was it?" When Yria didn't answer, Vera motioned around the chamber.

"I followed that Resonance all the way down here. Now it's disappearing, Roderic is acting weird, and all three of you looked at me like I'd grown another head." Sancter Voss cleared his throat.

"This chamber was built to contain an apotheon. We were gathering the Resonance required to give it form, and it had only just—" Yria raised one hand. Her Resonance shifted slightly, and Sancter Voss fell silent even though his mouth continued moving. Yria's attention stayed on Vera. I'll tell you. A brief pause followed. But first, let me come with you to the Rellmark Tracts.