Chương 50: Chapter 49 - Deathwish

"You can't have it!" Terra screamed from somewhere within the home. Atzi's eyes widened in fear. She shouted back, "Hey! Terra, stop!" She wasn't sure if Terra could even hear her, but she thought a faint voice came in response. Then a giant plume of fire shot out of the home, straight towards her. Atzi barely leapt out of the way. When she looked up, there were scorch marks where she had been standing. Atzi got up, running over to Jih.

"What is that book?" she asked.

"What is it? Why did this lady have it?"

"Bad," came Jih's monosyllabic reply. She raised another stone and broke it into fragments.

"Did it summon all the dead? Did it destroy Sostra?" Atzi babbled.

"I don't know!" She launched another volley of stones at the skeletons still crawling out from the house. They broke apart as the projectiles smashed into them. Atzi frantically tried to think of a solution.

"If... if she drops the book, will she go back to normal?"

"Maybe." Another stone. Jih's focus was entirely on the battle of mages.

"Break open another entrance for me somewhere!" Atzi pointed at the home.

"I'm good at stealing books! I just need to get behind her!" Jih directly looked at Atzi for the first time.

"I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it." She launched the whole stone at the second floor. The rock caved open a hole. A small waterfall of foul blood poured out, as though it were an actual wound. Atzi scampered over the house. She wasn't sure if she could climb it, but swung her claws into the side of the mushroom home anyway. The flesh was soft enough for her to dig in. Despite the slippery blood oozing down, she quickly climbed her way up.

She made it through the hole into the room with the dead bat woman, still laying there in a grotesque pile on the floor. Atzi tried to ignore her. Instead, she crept forward. She stopped at the door and cautiously opened it a fraction. She saw nothing, so carefully slipped her way through. When her clawed foot touched the floor on the other side, something sparked. Before Atzi knew what was happening, she was on the bloody ground, foaming from the mouth as lightning surged through her.

Her muscles seized, making it impossible to move. Only after several excruciating seconds did it stop, and after several more she painfully pulled herself up. The feeling reminded her all too much of when Malus had roasted her, but this time she had to live with it. Atzi reoriented herself and moved towards the stairs. Then paused. Terra had set some kind of magical trap, and it might not, she realized, be the only one. Atzi carefully climbed atop the stone bannister.

She put claw over claw, creeping her way down it. At the bottom, Atzi saw Terra from behind. The mage had the awful book clutched tightly in one hand as she chanted. A skeleton tore itself out of a hole in front of her. It shambled towards the exit. Then stone smashed into it, shattering it to pieces. Terra was already chanting again. Atzi suppressed her fear. She kept an arm and leg attached to the bannister as she stretched forward with a claw, reaching for the book. She just had to get it away from Terra.

The obsessed mage didn't seem to notice anything. As soon as Atzi's claw touched the book, she yanked it with every bit of force she could muster. Terra's grip stayed tight even as she stumbled with Atzi's pull. Atzi lost her balance on the bannister, falling atop of Terra. She yanked again, trying to get the book out of the still-chanting mage's grasp. Terra's other hand glowed purple. Her expression was only faintly irritated. She reached out a single finger and tapped Atzi on the leg. Atzi turned to dust.

=== It was the least painful death Atzi had experienced. Yet, it frustrated her the most.

"I... I was so close..."

"I told you it was dangerous," came the reply of the green-skinned goddess across from her in the void.

"I can't believe I slipped at the last moment!" Atzi grumbled.

"But... if that bat lady was the one who did it, if she's the one who killed everyone... this time, I can stop it." She groaned.

"I'm gonna have to talk to Terra again."

"Death is the worst possible thing," the goddess echoed the words of a past conversation.

"I didn't even get to talk to Hemm about-" Atzi sighed.

"About?"

"Doesn't matter now." The goddess faded away. Atzi scrunched up her eyes and prepared for her horrible awakening again.

"Out! Out!" Atzi got up without a word, staring tiredly at the old woman.

"Don't sleep in the street!" she shouted, waving her cane at Atzi.

"Maybe I had a good reason to. You ever considered that? Maybe I just had the worst day of my life," Atzi said bitterly. The old woman bonked her over the head.

"Ow! Stupid old crone!" Atzi ran off in annoyance. This time I'm not waiting. I am yelling at Terra the second I can, and that means I am heading right to the sewers to go get her book. She planned to find a sewer entrance close to V's, and figure out a way to retrieve the book from there. She realized she had nearly forgotten about V entirely. They had become such a minor problem in the grand scheme of things. Probably shouldn't ever push it around them, though. Atzi reached the fence to the rich district.

She tried to clamber over it as usual. However, she could barely muster the strength with how tired she was. She yelped as she fell backwards onto the ground.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" A guard shouted, making his way over. Atzi groaned. I can't even bribe him, I don't have money from Terra's spellbook yet! Atzi felt like asking him to stab her as painlessly as possible so she could try again. But she didn't want to die again, so she pulled herself up, making to run off. A gauntleted hand grabbed her by the wrist.

"Ow!"

"What were you trying to do, hmm?" the guard asked.

"I wanted to meet someone, alright? You guys would never just let someone in who isn't some rich asshole..." The guard stared at her for a moment.

"You were just trying to sneak in for the party later. Going to purloin from some guests, hmm?" A lie came smoothly to her.

"The only thing I was gonna be 'purloining' was someone's wife. Why do you think I need to be so discreet, huh?" The guard paused. Then he asked, "You're a prostitute?" Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. Atzi sneered.

"Not normally." The guard held out his other hand.

"Give me what you have on you and I'll let you go. But don't try it again." Fuckin' guards... well that's typical for them. Hope you get poisoned soon too, asshole. She handed over the pouch of bronze she had. The guard took it and let her go. Atzi sulked back to the inn. She had wanted to do things quickly. Get straight to the good parts. Instead, it was like in earlier loops where she was so tired she felt like she could barely function. So she decided she would sleep as much as she could.

When she walked in, Hemm looked up at her.

"You look tired, Atzi. Rough night?"

"Well yeah, Terra killed me, of course I'm-" Atzi stopped, scrunching her eyes.

"Nothing. Bad trip with swamp weed. Forget about it." Hemm paused and frowned.

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything." Atzi made her way upstairs. Partway up, she called, "Can you make me dinner when I get up?"

"Of course," came Hemm's reply. Atzi looked down.

"Thanks." Why do I feel awkward talking to her now? Things are just back to how they were. Don't think about it. Go to sleep. She returned to her room and slept. Dreamed. Of blood. Blood. Blood. Bloodbloodbloodblood- === Atzi woke up, still feeling awful. But at least a little less awful. The waning light from outside told her it was already evening. She got dressed and slinked down to grab her meal. Hemm had made her a bug and rice roast with gravy. Atzi dug in. She really knows how to make good stuff.

That chef must have taught her well. It then occurred to Atzi that she knew several things about Hemm personally, which she had no way of actually knowing, from Hemm's perspective. Atzi sat there, pensive, while she ate. Should I tell her? Or wait until after Terra?

"Thinking about something?" Hemm asked. That decided it for her.

"I'm gonna say something that's going to sound insane. And it'll probably take you a while to believe it." Atzi sighed.

"Just, uh, trust me." Hemm's one big eye showed her confusion.

"Okay?"

"I've been here before. Right here, I mean. This conversation. This day. I think it's the seventh time? I'm actually kinda losing count. I die, and I wake up this morning. Laying in the street with that same stupid old crone yelling at me like I'm a drunk." Atzi raised her voice.

"I can't even get drunk properly! Last time, I told you about it. And it took a while, but you believed me. And we went to Cthy." Hemm silently squinted.

"I had no idea all the houses were mushrooms. Huge ones, too.

'Cept the tribe leader, she stayed in this big obsidian temple thing. Had to go there since, well, nowhere else to go." Hemm's eye widened.

"I'm gonna say some stuff about you and I promise, I promise, you told me this stuff. You were meant to marry the son of the last tribe leader for the cyclops. And you bailed on him, and his sister's in charge now. Her name was Wu... something. It was really long. I didn't know Hemm was just short for-" Atzi tried saying her name. For her part, Hemm didn't correct her, instead just staring intently.

"What else?" Atzi tapped her claws together.

"Well, there was some other stuff, but, uh, you told me it while drunk, maybe you didn't mean to share so much." Hemm looked like she was thinking. She slowly opened her mouth.

"Okay… so you had this bad swamp weed trip, but someone must have told you about me before. Who was it?" Atzi shook her head.

"I just lied about that cause I messed up, I started talking about stuff from last time like you'd," she frowned, "know. I picked swamp weed 'cause, every time I try and tell you about this, the first thing you do is go 'Atzi, were you smoking swamp weed?'""Were you smoking swamp weed?" Hemm echoed.

"No! I hate it now that everyone assumes I'm too dumb to know the difference between that and real stuff."

"I think it's more the story is… literally impossible."

"I wish." She sighed.

"Well, no, if it was impossible I'd be dead. Dying really sucks. At least it wasn't painful this time." Hemm pushed forward Atzi's cup of water.

"Why don't you go back upstairs to rest some more. We can talk tomorrow." Atzi gritted her sharp teeth.

"Fuck, I knew this would happen. I can't rest, I need to do something. I need to go get the sage of Sostra her spellbook back. That way she'll believe me so that I can tell her about the city being in danger. And I think I figured out the cause." Atzi's voice got quieter.

"Or part of the cause. Or something." Then she looked firmly into Hemm's eye.

"So this time, this time, I can stop it. It's someone in Cthy. Not the people in charge! In fact, they didn't even blow up Novae."

"Atzi." She looked back down.

"I wish... I wish I knew something I could just say and you'd believe me, it took days before- What if I got the sage of Sostra herself and brought her here? I could."

"Atzi."

"What?" she mumbled. Hemm stepped around the counter and hugged her. Atzi went silent. Hemm's touch was soft.

"I don't believe you. I can't. But I do know you're hurting." Atzi gave a brief laugh, tears forming at the edge of her eyes.

"Yeah. That's... yeah, I think I am..." She whined.

"I'm terrible at this... I screwed it up completely, I just... I just thought if I knew more I could..."

"Shh. It's okay. You don't have to do everything yourself." She petted Atzi's hair. Ah fuck. She has no idea about last time. She has no idea what Marco said. Or what I was thinking about. Atzi was frozen, having no idea what to do. Hemm broke the hug.

"Now, why don't you head upstairs and lay down. For me, okay?" Atzi gave a sad smile.

"Okay."

"Thank you Atzi." Atzi stepped back, and then trudged upstairs. Maybe more sleep is fine. What's a single day in the grand scheme of things? I have time. For now. === Atzi's dreams blended into a malaise. She tossed and turned all night, haunted by terrible things she couldn't remember. However, by the time she woke up, she felt better. Much better. Still feel shitty, but it's at least the regular kind of shitty. She crawled out of bed, managing to dress herself and head downstairs. Now I'm hungry again.

"Mornin'," she greeted Hemm. Hemm was cooking already.

"Good afternoon, Atzi. Do you feel better?" Atzi nodded.

"Yeah. Feel like myself again."

"That's great! I'm glad." Hemm smiled.

"Give me ten minutes and I'll have lunch finished." She poured a cup of water and then went back to make food. - Hemm finished cooking and gave Atzi a roasted sandwich. Atzi bit in. It was a juicy mix of vegetables and bugs. She swallowed and wiped her mouth.

"Do you get many Pomarians, or did you learn to cook stuff the bats like?"

"I barely touched bugs back home. Mother didn't approve of them in her house. Said they were unclean." Hemm wiggled her fingers.

"But here a lot of people eat them, even humans. They're cheaper than any other meat, I think that's why."

"A lotta humans aren't big fans of them, but back in Pomaria they're the main thing we eat. Marshes, you know? Not great for most animals, but bugs are everywhere."

"Ah, that sounds nice," Hemm said politely.

"I've never been."

"It's been- well, how long it's been since I've been there depends if you believe me or not. I went there one time. Saw how things had changed. Other than that it's been like, a decade now." Hemm's eyebrow drew down.

"Wait." She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I thought you felt better. You're still talking about, what, resetting time?" Atzi whined.

"Hemm. Look, I know it's not easy to believe, but it's true, alright? It really is."

"You know what, nevermind." Hemm sighed.

"Just stop talking about it to me." Atzi's tail drooped. She wanted to say something, anything, to get Hemm to believe her. Or at least give her a chance, like previously. But I already fucked it up.

"Sure."

"Do you want anything else to drink?" Atzi shook her head "I'm good. I got a busy day today, but I'll try and come back later when I can." Hemm nodded.

"Be safe."

"I will, I will. See ya later." Atzi ran out before she could get too frazzled by the conversation and say something dumb, like 'haha you should come to Pomaria with me'. She headed to the fence, this time ready to climb it without some asshole ruining her day. There was one problem with this plan. There was an asshole guard posted near the spot she'd tried to climb. Ruining her day. Jerks! Atzi quickly figured out a backup plan, though not one she was eager to do.

She planned to go directly through the sewers to her destination. She went over the route to V's place in her head a few times, before finding a manhole and descending into it. - Just as Atzi realized she was lost, a pipe drained over her. Atzi gagged. I hate the sewers! I hate the guards! The sewers were broad and mazelike, with frequent intersections that didn't tell Atzi which direction to go.

They were lit by broadly spread apart lanterns, meaning Atzi often found herself walking in pure darkness only to step on something gross. Even with the sewer water running through the middle, somehow all sorts of garbage collected itself atop the walkways to the sides. Atzi looked around for the nearest ladder, so she could get some fresh air and reorient herself. There was one a short walk away. She quickly climbed up. Lifting the manhole cover and sticking her head out, she gulped down the fresher air.

When she opened her eyes, she saw a city guard staring at her. Atzi popped her head back down immediately. - Thankfully, the guard hadn't followed her. She continued to wander through the sewers, trying to find some way to her destination. If nothing else, she needed to reorient herself, so she stuck her head out again, hoping there wouldn't be a guard.

"Atzi?" a familiar voice came from behind her. She was staring at the religious district, the grand stone temples of the gods bustling with worshippers. I should have known something was wrong when I was going uphill. Atzi turned around to see Jem. The Water priestess had a concerned look as she hurried to Atzi's side.

"Can… I come in and get cleaned up?" Atzi asked.

"Yes! Please!" Jem reached down to help pull her out of the manhole.