Chương 81: (In)adequate

Day 9 Team Zoo was the first to arrive. Jamie had volunteered as the concierge, while Liz was setting up the dining table—which was just an elegant conference table in a room with a floor-to-ceiling glass front, overlooking the remains of New York. Across multiple rooms, I could hear them making small talk and Jamie complimenting both Inaaya and Sarah on their dresses. Dresses. I hadn't anticipated anyone dressing up for this and suddenly felt very inadequate. Sure, I had the Blessing-provided suit.

But I had also been working in a kitchen for hours, after slaughtering orcs by the dozen and walking through the burned-down ruins of our former base of operations. To make matters worse, Jamie was guiding them over to the kitchen.

"There have to be rules against visitors in the kitchen, right?" I asked. Stephen looked up from his work. He was just putting final decorations on the dessert, some chocolatey miracle, served in individual cognac glasses.

"You got something to hide?" he asked.

"Me?" Stephen laughed.

"Is that Sarah I hear approaching?"

"... Yes."

"Let me share some wisdom with you, young padawan." I rolled my eyes at him.

"To some people, an apron is sexier than lingerie." He looked around and grabbed one of the not-yet-decorated desserts and a small spoon, both of which he handed to me. I gave him a questioning look.

"When she comes in here? Give that to her and ask her if it's too sweet or too much chocolate." I looked from the dessert glass to Stephen and back.

"Does your support class also come with bonuses to wingmanning?" Stephen just winked and pushed me in the direction of the door, just as it opened. And there they were. Inaaya wore a dress in dark red, with golden embroidery and a matching scarf wrapped over her shoulder. It looked like traditional Indian attire, but I was completely ignorant on the topic. It'd be pure luck if I could distinguish one Western dress style from another. And then Sarah.

Her dress was midnight blue, held up by thin straps that showed off her arms, while also being short enough to present her calves. But she had also found a sheath that fit No Quarter and carried the sword on her back. Both had put on makeup, too. Of course they had. I really looked like a mess in comparison. Even Alex was in a proper suit. Stephen elbowed me out of my daze. The others had already exchanged greetings.

"Hey! Hi. Welcome," I said. I ignored the amused reactions and held out the dessert for Sarah.

"Mind being our taste-tester? I think we did fine, but Stephen isn't sure if it's too sweet or too much chocolate." Sarah took the glass and tried a small spoonful, which resulted in a moan of pleasure that sent sparks through my synapses.

"Absolutely perfect," she said, as she handed the glass and spoon to her brother.

"Oh. That's good. Perfect even." Stephen put a hand on my shoulder.

"I think I can finish the rest on my own. Thanks for your help."

"Huh. Okay then. Guess I will use the time to—" I stopped myself, removed the hairnet and apron, and envisioned myself not looking like a mess. It wouldn't remove the grime underneath, but it'd make me presentable. I cast Alter Self, keeping my infernal look and suit, but removing all the little marks the day had left. Somewhere in this action, there was a profound metaphor for the way I tackled every social situation.

While we made our way over to the dining room, Sarah walked by my side, slowly letting herself, and in turn me, fall behind the others. When it was clear that she had something to say, I stopped and waited for the others to walk out of earshot. As I looked up at the taller woman, I noticed that she was nervous.

"Hey, so… I wouldn't usually do this. We've only known each other for like twelve hours, and when we got out of that jungle, emotions were running pretty high, and we were both kind of out of it." She paused and fiddled with a strand of hair. Ah, of course. Asking me out had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, which she regretted now.

"All that is to say," she went on.

"If you want to bow out of that date idea, that's, like, completely fine, okay? No hard feelings. I kinda jumped you with that one and wouldn't blame you if you since changed your mind." This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. I stifled a laugh.

"And here I was so sure you were about to bow out on me. Yes, Sarah, I'd still very much like to have that date with you." Sarah took a deep breath.

"Really? Awesome. Sorry for making this awkward. Alex, bless his stupid heart, made me all self-conscious about this. Why don't you show me around this fancy place of yours after dinner? Not as our date-date, but to hang out a bit?"

"Will the other two be okay to get home on their own at night?" Sarah shrugged.

"They can team up with Anthony and Co. Once they are in the tunnels, there shouldn't be anything they can't handle. And I'll have the Sin Slayer herself to escort me."

"Uh, we would have to take the scenic route. The tunnels are… an issue." I grinned up at Sarah.

"Could carry you back, though."

"That'd be absolutely perfect," Sarah said with a wink. I continued walking to catch up with the others. Alter Self would do nothing to hide my red face. Maybe staying in motion would.

"The sword. Is there a reason you carry it out in the open?" Next to me, Sarah shrugged.

"She doesn't like being in an inventory. The way she described it was a bit nightmarish. Both timeless and endless at once? I agreed to keep her out while we were on speaking terms."

"I've heard crazier things before." We settled at the dining table, with me sandwiched between Jamie on one side and Sarah on the other. I marveled at Jamie's ability to effortlessly wrap everyone up in small talk, while I already struggled with just six people in the room. It got a lot worse when the others arrived. There wasn't a room large enough in the world for another six people and three dogs. I tried to ground myself by focusing on something that was entirely in my mind, my UI.

Which worked so well that it took me a while to notice Helene's new look. All of them, even Luke, had somewhat dressed up, though no one as fabulous as Inaaya. But Helene's outfit wasn't one she had picked herself—she'd been granted one by the Blessing. It reminded me of the one Gabriel had worn in our first physical encounter in the deli. A silk-like dress with a Mediterranean vibe to it. And then I saw her subclass. Disciple of Circe. Wasn't Circe one of the bad guys? After greeting everyone, I drew Helene aside.

"Hey, is that subclass what we had been looking for?" Helene smirked and nodded.

"It most definitely is. Circe was a patron of pharmakeia and a symbol for the untamed magic of nature. While being very adept at taming said nature herself. Exactly what we were looking for."

"Didn't she transform people into pigs?"

"Well, that, too. Transformation is also an aspect of hers. I am certain this will lead to opportunities for further collaboration."

"Huh. You should start by collaborating with Inaaya. She can do some weird life-draining magic with her plants, which I think operates on the same life force that your serum drains. Maybe together you two can figure something out about that."

"I'll talk to her. There is one more thing, though. I'll announce that in public soon, but I'd like your opinion. The moment I selected this subclass, Circe herself became part of me and told me she'd teach me."

"Circe… herself?"

"She shows up in my Guides chat." I rubbed my eyes.

"Are you telling me your devil guide waited the whole time after you entered the tower to adjust their presentation to fit your subclass?"

"It seems more likely than my subclass coming with an extra guide. That was not part of the description."

"I agree. Both clever and somehow incredibly blunt at the same time."

"I'll avoid taking up any offers and will take utmost care when heeding her advice."

"What about your other guide?"

"He was adamant about not trusting her but had been unusually hedgy on talking about her identity. I think there are rules in place about respecting the metaphor."

"She is right," Gabriel chimed in.

"But only a stickler for the rules would adhere to them to such a degree, especially when she already has her own suspicions."

"Gabriel confirmed that those rules are in place. She doesn't seem to think highly of them," I said.

"That is good to hear. Let us enjoy this dinner, shall we?" I just nodded along. Helene had a goddess in her head, Ash had a book-dealing stripper, and Sarah had a sword with preferences for comfort. And all because of me. Had I already become the poster girl for Hell? Nothing to be done about it now, besides sticking to the plan. Soon we were all seated, and Liz levitated in the first course of our meal. I did my best not to lose my mind over all the noise. Besides myself, most people seemed to have a good time.

Helene was delighted by the meal plan Stephen had come up with and thanked both of us profusely for our efforts. Between courses, Ash was the first to speak up about his new guide, who refused to make another appearance. Helene followed suit, and even Sarah brought up that she had a talking sword. People had many questions, and all three answered them dutifully. So did I, as much as my mental capacity allowed me to. The worst part was the wine. Of course people drank some wine.

They were offered some of the most expensive wine on the planet. To me, it just smelled rotten. I'd really need to practice filtering all those senses. My Heightened Senses skill would only go up, and if I didn't develop resilience to sensory overload, that skill would turn into a liability. So I sat through the entire evening. Waited until the dinner was over and people dispersed. Eating the delicious dessert even awarded all of us a new buff.

[Excellent Meal (Buff) +4 to all Attributes +2 to all Skills Duration: 24 hours] All that work really paid off. Whatever we were doing tomorrow, we'd be punching notably above our weight. I doubted that we'd ever get that effect from burritos we could carry in our inventories. After I gave Tibert a proper goodbye and helped with lowering him safely to the street, I turned to Sarah. She'd thankfully abstained from drinking more than a single glass of wine.

"So, what's first?" Sarah asked. I thought about it for a moment. In the background, I heard kobolds cheering as they played something on one of the consoles they looted earlier.

"How about I make us a cup of hot chocolate to go? There is a coffee shop a couple of floors up, and I'd love to take a moment to decompress." Sarah smiled.

"Sounds great."