Chương 98: Confession(?)

Today was the day. After waking up, I couldn't immediately return to my schedule. My usual focus was nowhere to be seen. Just last night, I finished my stockpile; A full 2, 700 D+ grade potions were made in just under two weeks. Logically, I should've been ecstatic last night. But, instead, I felt anxious. Because, now that I've finished the stockpile, today, I'd confess to Luna. My heart was pounding out of my chest; I made mistakes that I wouldn't usually make while cooking. I'm… really going to do it.

Inhaling a deep breath, I shook my head. Later. I can do it later today. It's too early now. Am I stalling? Pfft, no! Okay, I lied. I really wanted to drag it out for as long as I could; I need time to prepare myself mentally. What? I had two weeks? I don't know what you're talking about~"Haah…" Sighing, I plated breakfast. As I picked up the plates-"Good morning?" Luna said from behind me. I flinched, nearly dropping the plates and food all over the floor, Turning around, I saw Luna sitting at the dining table.

"O-Oh, you scared me…Good morning." I replied; My racing heart didn't calm in the slightest, if anything, it sped up.

"I've been here for a while…You were distracted so you didn't hear me before." She replied. Ah, wow, I'm really a mess today.

"Sorry." I replied, "As compensation enjoy a fabulous breakfast." After setting the plate in front of her, I took my seat and picked at my food with a bowed head.

"Thank you." Luna said. Today's breakfast felt heavy. The usual bright and joyful atmosphere was replaced by the sounds of forks hitting the plate. I couldn't help but miss the scrambled eggs a few times with my fork. My attention was nowhere on the meal in front of me. Secretly glancing at Luna, I noticed that her eyes were darting to me every few seconds. Is she…also nervous? Ah, I did tell her that today I'd confess. I wonder what's going on in her mind right now? In mine, it's a mess.

"So…" Luna started, "Did you sleep well?" She asked.

"Mm…" I grunted as a reply.

"Right…" Haah… This isn't going to work! I can't stand this atmosphere! And I know this is completely my fault! Alright, fine! Man up, Stella! Just do it! Slamming my palms on the table, I jolted up and looked at Luna. Luna flinched at my sudden action, turning her full attention to me. There was a slight red on her cheeks and her eyes were darting around nervously. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. Just do it!!

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth.

"I'm! Going for a walk!" I said. And without missing a beat, I put on my shoes and headed out. I'm a coward. … Luna froze as she stared at the door that Stella just left from. The words wouldn't come out of her mouth. In fact, she could barely even explain how she was feeling right now. Confusion, anxiousness, nervousness, happiness, embarrassment, anticipation; All of that ran through her body without rest. Ever since she woke up, she couldn't help but be distracted.

Because, last night, Stella finished her stockpile. Her cheeks reddened as she remembered Stella's vow. As much as she tried to act like nothing was wrong, she couldn't help her eyes being drawn to Stella and her brain short-circuiting. Just then, she really thought Stella was about to do it. When she saw Stella stand up, Luna couldn't help but suck in her breath and curl her toes. But… In the end, it was nothing!

"Haah…" Luna sighed.

'Am I the only one stressing about it?' …

"Haah…" I sighed, I really am a coward. I took in the sight of the beautiful sky before closing my eyes. I…should just do it. When I get back, I'll tell her. If I don't…If I don't, I'll throw out my cauldron.

"Okay… Let's do this." I mumbled, turning back towards the house. But, instead of walking forward, I turned back around. Let's do it after a little bit more walking. The weather is quite nice today. … Stella and Luna sat on the bed next to each other in silence. One of them was repeatedly tapping their foot on the ground in nervousness and didn't know where to look, the other had a slightly bowed head but was secretly glancing towards the other. For a full two minutes, silence followed.

Neither of them dared to speak. Stella was busy thinking about how Luna would respond, while Luna was thinking how to respond; She had been reading a lot more romance books recently.

'A k-k-kiss would be too much, wouldn't it…?' Luna thought, 'W-what if she k-kisses me?' Luna's face was turning redder by the second, while Stella was getting tenser by the second. Aside from tapping her leg, Stella also gripped her knees with both hands and was chewing on her lip. One felt anticipation, the other felt resignation; But the emotion both of them felt without pause is nervousness. Finally, after what felt like years of silence, Stella inhaled a deep breath and looked at Luna.

Luna flinched, returning the gaze and curling her toes in wait.

"I…I have something to say to you." Stella said, her grasp on both knees getting tighter. Her eyes darted from Luna's face to the floor and then back to Luna. Luna sucked in and held her breath, her stare burning into Stella's. She swallowed her breath and waited for Stella's next words. Stella, inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, mustering up the courage to continue.

"Luna…"

"…Yes?" Luna replied meekly.

"I…I…" Stella inhaled heavily. Luna leaned closer, wanting to properly hear her next words. Her face was burning hot and her cheeks were completely red. Finally, Stella bit the bullet and released everything in one go.

"Before I awakened I was a boy!"

"I lo-…Yes?" Luna paused, her thoughts completely thrown off.

"I know, you're probably upset with me…I get it…I-I'm sorry…If you want to yell, I can take it!" Stella closed her eyes and dug her nails in to her knees while waiting for Luna's response. Luna, on the other hand, stared blankly at Stella. The words she was waiting for never came; Was this the 'confession' Stella was talking about? It…Couldn't be, right?

"Is…Is that it…?" Luna let out quietly, completely stunned, "…I thought it was going to be the other one…" Her voice almost a mumble.

"Yes…" Stella replied, keeping her eyes shut tightly.

"…" Luna visibly deflated, "Oh…Okay." She replied.

"I'm sor-…Huh?" Stella froze as she hesitantly opened her eyes slightly. She expected to see Luna's angry face, but, instead, was met with…disappointment?"'Oh…Okay'?" Stella repeated, "Y-You're not gonna yell…?"

"…Why would I do that?" Luna asked, genuinely confused.

"C-Cause you're upset with me…"

"Why am I upset with you?" Stella's voice became meek and weak,"Well…Cause I lied…?"

"When did you lie?"

"Huh? Um, well…From the start? I was a boy before awakening and now I'm a girl…"

"And you think I should be upset with you for that?"

"I mean…Wouldn't you…?"

"Haaaaah." Luna let out a long sigh, causing Stella to flinch, "Why're you being so silly, Stella?" Luna tapped Stella's forehead with her finger.

"…Huh?" Stella let out, opening her eyes wide. When she looked into Luna's eyes, there was no trace of falsehood, Luna wasn't lying or holding back her feelings. She had genuinely not thought much of it.

"First, let's break it down." Luna said, "For one, the Stella I know has always been the Stella I know, correct?"

"Um…Well, except for the gaming part…before we met."

"Right," Luna nodded, "That makes sense, of course a cute girl wouldn't be typing those unhinged messages." She mumbled before returning to an audible tone, "So, does it matter? The Stella I know hasn't changed from the start."

"Yeah, but…the past…"

"Two, have I ever actually asked? No, I haven't. And you've never explicitly said that you've never been a boy. So, where does this 'lie' come into play?"

"Um…" Stella felt the words stuck in her throat, she had no idea how to respond to Luna's verbal assault.

"Three, does that fact even change anything?"

"Well…it would change how you feel about…"

"Why would that have any affect on my feelings towards you? You're being silly." Luna said, "I've never met the pre-awakening Stella. The Stella I care about is the one in front of me at this very moment."

"Mm…" Stella felt choked up.

"And finally, Stella," Luna started,"…Yes?" She replied meekly,"Do you know the most popular awakening theory?"

"The…what?" Stella replied, shaking her head, "…I don't."

"Obviously you wouldn't," Luna smiled with a shake of the head, "You don't look into anything, you like charging straight into things without thinking."

'Ah! Here it comes!' Stella thought, bracing herself for the harsh words.

"The most popular awakening theory: The True-Soul Theory." Luna said, completely ignoring Stella's thoughts. Stella opened one eye slightly to look at Luna who simply started to explain,"They say that when you awaken, you don't change into something new; You don't become something you're not. When you awaken, you simply shape into your true self—your soul doesn't lie. That's why appearances and races can change when someone awakens. Their true selves might be an elf, or a dwarf, or perhaps even a dragon.

They're not becoming a new race, they're simply returning to their true self. There are millions of people who believe the True-Soul Theory; I'm one of them. Stella, tell me, have you ever felt discomfort in your own body after you awakened?" Luna looked at Stella who was completely focused on Luna's words.

"Um, mm…Well…" Stella hesitated before replying, "Maybe for a few days every month…"

"…" Luna paused and shook her head with a smile, Stella seemed to have recovered enough to tell jokes, "That's normal for woman. You know what I'm talking about."

"Then…I don't think so…" Stella replied.

"Exactly," Luna nodded, "So, Stella is Stella; That's not to say that Stella isn't the person they were before they awakened, but, you've never lied from the start. You're you, no matter the form." Stella took in her words and played them in her mind repeatedly. Something that's been agonizing her, not just for the past few weeks, but from the very start—since she first awakened—had started to clear up. When she originally deleted everyone in her contact list, it wasn't simply just because she wanted to start over.

It was because she was scared—scared of how people would view her. The 'Miles' she used to be, had become 'Stella'. It's also another reason why she didn't want to meet her parents. Would they even recognize her? Would they look at her weirdly? Yet, now, Luna's words struck her heart directly. That fear, those thoughts that would prick like thorns in the depths of her mind had started to vanish.

'I'm…Me…' Stella thought. Stella's eyes became watery; She didn't speak, she simply stared at Luna.

"Though, now, I am a bit curious what you looked like before." Luna scratched the back of her head, "Ah, it's…It's just cause I want to know you better…" Luna's cheeks flushed red, "J-just simple curiosity." Stella took a deep breath and smiled,"Okay, I'll tell you all about it." The weight on her heart had disappeared.