Chương 32: Chapter 9 Such a Surprise(Part 1)

After finishing his conversation with Miyafuji and leaving the smoking room, Tsukasa was promptly captured by Tachibana and escorted into a changing room occupied by several policewomen. According to Tachibana, they were here to select an outfit that would "look good on camera." Tsukasa couldn't help but wonder what exactly that meant. A police uniform? Surely they weren't about to dress him in one of those ridiculous miniskirt police costumes. At least, he hoped not.

"I'm Hiiragi. I'll be handling your outfit and makeup today." The woman who introduced herself wore red-framed glasses and possessed an impossibly youthful face paired with a figure that seemed completely unfair. Tsukasa had always preferred hips over breasts, but even he couldn't help thinking her shoulders must constantly ache under that burden. And with every passing minute, his suspicions regarding Tachibana only deepened.

"Wow... you're really beautiful." Hiiragi's eyes sparkled.

"You're tiny, delicate, almost doll-like. Any chance you'd call me Onee-sama?"

"Sorry. I have a wife."

"A soeur relationship is acceptable too." This woman was aggressive. Far too aggressive. Tsukasa had never been particularly good at dealing with women who came on strong, and he was already beginning to fear where this was heading.

"Was it Rosa Gigantea en Bouton?"

"No! Rosa Gigantea!" Hiiragi immediately corrected him. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

"Don't turn her into some one-eyed monster. But wow, you actually know that reference. I'm impressed."

"Old habits die hard." Tsukasa shrugged.

"More importantly, do you know about my situation?" The answer would determine how much explaining he needed to do. Hiiragi stopped unpacking her supplies and turned toward him.

"Of course. Honestly, if entering that Gate could make me look as gorgeous as you, I'd dive in myself." The obsession women held toward beauty was truly terrifying. People loved to claim that "it's what's inside that counts." But before anyone saw the inside, they saw the outside. First impressions were formed in an instant. Changing them afterward required tremendous effort. Perhaps transforming his monstrous appearance into this one had been the right choice after all.

"Then I have no objections." Tsukasa sighed.

"Do whatever you need to do." The moment he said that, the gathered policewomen exploded into action. Boxes opened. Clothes appeared. Outfits were spread across tables and chairs. There were far too many options. Undercover equipment? Why did a police station even own this many costumes?

"Don't worry about sizing," Hiiragi said while sorting through the pile.

"Dr. Takatsuki already gave us your measurements." Takatsuki, you leak personal information way too easily. Not that it really mattered. The information wasn't particularly sensitive, and it certainly saved time.

"Senpai! What about this one?"

"No, no. With that body shape, this is better."

"Wait! Look at how pale her skin is. We need stronger colors!" As always, when enough women gathered together, the volume multiplied exponentially. The character for noisy really had been created with remarkable accuracy. When women were choosing clothes, men only had two viable options. Remain silent and endure. Or flee. Tsukasa chose endurance. Even if his wife dragged him into a lingerie shop, he would endure. She was putting effort into making him look good. That alone made it worth it.

The mentality of a married middle-aged man was surprisingly resilient.

"Tsukasa-san!" Hiiragi suddenly marched over carrying what appeared to be underwear.

"Do you have any preferences at all? At this rate we're turning you into a dress-up doll." A difficult question. He had never cared much about clothing in the first place. Women's fashion was an entirely different level of complexity.

"I like black." He thought for a moment.

"Other than that... prioritize whatever looks best on camera. I'll leave the details to you."

"Understood!" She practically saluted before rushing back into the battlefield. Taking the opportunity, Tsukasa escaped to the smoking room for a quick cigarette. In hindsight, maybe he should have called Haruka. The aspiring fashion designer probably could have settled this in five minutes. Instead, he sat there smoking while a civil war raged over his wardrobe. About thirty minutes later, Hiiragi returned.

"Tsukasa-san, we've made our decision."

"... Understood." Following her back to the changing room, he wondered what fate awaited him. Hopefully something practical. Ideally something he could fight in. Upon entering, he immediately noticed the room had split into two camps. One group looked victorious. The other looked utterly defeated. Some were practically kneeling in despair. A clear winner and loser had emerged. Wisely deciding not to ask questions, Tsukasa remained silent.

"So." He looked at Hiiragi.

"What did you choose?"

"This!" She proudly presented the outfit.

"Getting everyone to agree was harder than you can imagine. We almost came to blows." Tsukasa sincerely hoped she was exaggerating. The clothing itself was black. A dress-like outfit with lace, frills, red ribbons, and matching lace-up boots. After unfolding it fully, he finally understood.

"... Gothic Lolita?"

"Exactly!" Hiiragi beamed.

"It stands out on camera, allows reasonable mobility, and prevents accidental wardrobe malfunctions." She nodded proudly.

"And it's black, just like you wanted." Apparently the final battle had come down to Gothic Lolita versus Maid Outfit. Somehow, Gothic Lolita had emerged victorious. Peacefully. Or so she claimed.