Chương 52: Village Squirt

To Squirt's perpetual annoyance, the village chief was there with Anvanil to meet her. She gave the older pixie a wary look from under her hood. She was a summer fey by the looks of her, her skin almost as dark as Lord Everwinter's. There was age and wisdom cut into the lines around her eyes and mouth, laughter lines used now for judgement on Squirt's adequacy. The woman tutted at her as Anvanil gave her a pathetically apologetic look.

"So," the old woman said, her bright yellow and blue wings fluttering a little as she stared down her nose at Squirt. Squirt waited, but the woman did not elaborate. The woman's lips pressed more firmly in frustration. Anvanil blinked as his eyes fell to the bags at her hips before blurting out, "Are those… hands?" Squirt stiffened before nodding tightly. The old woman dropped her own gaze to the pouches, noting the one extended middle finger up and the visible claw.

Her wings fluttered a little more before saying, "A Bully Mouth?" Squirt nodded. The woman gave her a hard stare. Squirt gave her a pointed glare in response. The woman backed off, raising her hands and dropping her gaze in respect with a smile.

"Fine. I'll concede. You may not know shit about us, but you know shit about killing them, and that's what I care about." Squirt relaxed minutely and nodded. Ancient laws banished, then. Her eyes scanned behind the woman, asking, "No Guard in your village?" She snorted.

"Jacobs is out rubbing elbows with them Guards of that there Lord Prince Commander of yours, floozy pissant that he is. He's hoping to finally be rid of us once and for all." They shared a sigh of annoyance together that had Squirt's lips quirking up in a slight, barely there smirk. Yes. This was a good fey. Anvanil shifted, drawing her attention before he awkwardly nodded to the hands hanging off her hips.

"And… why…?" Squirt huffed.

"I wanted the claws. They're serrated blades of bone, so it requires removing them from the finger joints themselves. It's easier to do when it's not full of blood. Feybeast blood is useful, so I'm saving the drippings."

"A-ah." His face flushed with embarrassment while his skin became clammy, visually disturbed.

"That um… makes sense…" Squirt ignored his impending breakdown as not her responsibility and returned her attention to the village chief.

"I'm told you can take me to where the lightning struck the traps?" The woman then sniffed and fluttered herself over to an empty field outside the walls on the north side.

"Here's where we put them nets out. It's outta rotation. It helped during surges, but then with the first thunderstorm, the whole field lit up like the gods damned Capital." Squirt smirked. Yep. Definitely her kind of fey. Scanning across the field, the lightning strikes were obvious, burnt spots in the ground. Pulling out her trowel, she squatted down to inspect one, using her fingers to touch the burnt earth. The woman sniffed again.

"It better not've poisoned the soil, or me and you gonna have words, huntress." Squirt snorted.

"If anything, you'll notice next year this field becomes your best producer. Stick to leafy vegetables instead of roots, and you'll have fast growing, healthy plants." The woman crossed her arms, surprised the huntress knew anything about fields.

"And how do you figure that?" Squirt then began to gently dig into the dirt using the trowel and her hands.

"Lightning condenses the magic into a shockwave of power, supercharging the soil. The burning that happened—" the ground showed signs that the fresh grass had only just sprung up in the wake of ashy remains, "—adds extra nutrients that leafy green vegetables do well with. We didn't give the fields breaks like this, just rotate. Leafy greens. Fruits and such. Then root vegetables. Then—" she grunted as she began pulling something from the ground, "—burn the remains, repeat."

With one final tug, she pulled the captured lightning from the ground, almost stumbling from the force as she did and panting a little.

"There's some things that are provided by ash that regular compost can't provide as readily." The "stone," as it were, looked like a crystal clear, solid lightning bolt, complete with branches and arcs. Blue flashes rhythmically pulsed down the tall crystalline structure that was almost half of Squirts height, and she dropped it to head over to the next one. The woman, thoroughly curious, followed and asked, "How come I ain't never seen one of those before?"

Squirt answered as she started to carefully excavate the next one.

"Because you've never had so many in one place, and you've never had the reason to. They will dissolve into the earth after a few months. They're like feystones in that." Feystones, when left out, dissolved eventually, dissolving faster the more connected they were with the earth. One of the many reasons she stored them in her dimensional pouch.

"Huh," was all she said. When Squirt moved on to the third stone, the woman fluttered closer and asked, "And is there any special technique?"

"Care and patience." She paused, then looked up at the woman.

"Think of it like a root vegetable. If you give any idiot a hoe and tell them to dig it out, they'll probably split the thing and ruin it. If they do, the lightning stone will burst and electrocute them, but it's not as powerful as a full lightning blast. Just enough for them to piss their pants and drool out their mouth for a few minutes." The woman nodded, rolling her sleeves up as she fluttered her wings, turning to scan over the ground.

"Gotcha." Then she started using her magic to pull out the lightning stones with more efficiency than Squirt could ever hope for. Squirt scowled, annoyed, envious, and annoyed she was envious. Instead, she shook her head and went back to her work. Once they finished, the village chief nodded to Squirt, hovering now just above the ground.

"What next, huntress?" This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. Squirt pulled out the glowing wine bottle.

"I need a farm animal. The bigger the better. I can't guarantee it'll live." The woman snorted.

"Do we at least get to eat it?" Squirt shrugged.

"You can always bring me someone from the village to test this on, instead."

"Yeah, I was just getting tired of all of my mate's griping." With that, she fluttered off. Anvanil approached, looking over her shoulder at the bottle, then up behind her at the treeline. Squirt scowled.

"What?"

"I just… why are they over there?" Squirt… wasn't entirely sure why the shadowfell and redcap were standing against the edge of the trees. They weren't exactly hiding themselves, they just weren't approaching.

"Fuck if I know." Scowling at them, she then returned her attention to the task at hand. Taking a seat on the ground, she pulled out her drying bowl and poured a small amount of the threads into it, adding a touch of water before starting it with feystones. Once that was going, she then took out another bowl of the regular variety, pouring out a few of the threads. About that time, the pixie returned with a man leading a cow over.

"Alright, what'chu want 'er?" Squirt pointed.

"There'll do." The d'mi grunted but didn't argue while the pixie chief fluttered over to inspect the self-stirring stove. Squirt warned her, "Don't get too close. It's cooking, which means some of the toxins are airborne. Too close to it, and it may hurt you." She fluttered back several feet. Squirt then approached the cow with the bowl, carefully picking up one of the threads and laying it over the creature's lowered neck before stepping back and counting to herself.

After two full minutes, she added another and repeated, this time the cow shaking its head and mooing softly. With the third one, it lowered itself onto its knees with a sniffing snort, laying its head down on the grass. The d'mi, presumably the cow's owner, said, "By the gods, what the fuck is that stuff? Some kinda Capital horse killer?" Squirt raised an eyebrow, shifting and pointing in the direction of the cave.

"About two miles that way is a cave with a bunch of these hanging from the ceiling." Anvanil's jaw dropped.

"Wait, seriously?" Squirt nodded.

"How'd you find it?" Her expression flattened and she bit out, "Flying monkeys," before squatting before the beast, confirming the creature was, indeed, asleep. Squirt nodded to herself, then stood, gesturing with the bowl.

"I can show you where to find it. Three threads are enough to knock out a cow, so just scale it up for feybeasts as needed. The worms who produce the threads can make more. If you're responsible with it, you'll be able to harvest regularly." Then she patted one of the bags on her hip.

"Just make sure they check for feybeasts before they begin collecting. Caught this one freeloading for free feybeasts snacks from the rest." The man frowned down at the sacks before his brows raised appreciatively.

"Bully Mouth?"

"Yep."

"How'd ye, er… begging yer pardon, huntress, jus'… tha's three of ye." She nodded.

"It has a frog's skin." All three of them had rapt attention now, eyes full of curiosity. Squirt pursed her lips and sighed.

"Frog skin is like a slug. Absorbs well. I didn't salt it, I threw a powdered paralytic. Cut off the hands and then sliced the head." She reached into her pouch and pulled out the hefty feystone as further proof. The village chief's eyes sharpened.

"Any chance you're in a sharing mood for getting that powder?" Squirt considered her.

"You have riisets around here. I've seen 'em. Sneak up on it, pin it to the branch with an arrow, cut off the wings before it dies. Don't breathe in the powder or let it touch your bare skin. I usually lay a sheet out under it before I cut the wings off to catch as much of the dust as possible. It's a strong paralytic and will take down most feybeasts." Then she scowled.

"It's late in the season for them, though, so you'll not have long before they're all gone." She nodded to the slowly self-stirring pot.

"I'm seeing if I can reduce the threads down, dry them out into a powder, but worst case," she hefted up the bowl of glowing threads, "Just chuck a bunch of these at it." She nodded to the cow, still dead asleep.

"Clearly it works on the big fuckers." The d'mi barked out a laugh.

"Yer right, there."

"I asked for the big beast because I'm testing a bunch of things. How many of these threads it took to take it down, how long it took for it to fall down once the threads were on it, and how long it stays under with the threads left on it. When it eventually wakes, I'll try again with all three threads at once, see how quickly it falls. By that point, we should know if I can powder it, and I'll show some of your villagers to the cave so they can take over." The chief frowned, crossing her arms.

"Aren't you Capital folks supposed to be off this morn?" Squirt snorted.

"I'm an Everwinter Guard, not a Capital one. Check the crest on the breastplate. And if they leave, I'll just need to catch up by tomorrow morning." She jerked her thumb at the lounging shadowfell and redcap.

"They're with me. Anvanil may need to leave, though." Anvanil cleared his throat and shifted, fidgeting with his hands.

"I um… Lord Prince Commander Ranin said that if you needed a day to stay, we would as well." The village chief muttered darkly, "Aye, and scaring all the game away as you do, I'll bet." Squirt considered her, then scowled. Darkly, she muttered, "Anvanil, can you go get Zakam for me?" Anvanil ducked his head, nodding and trotting away. Once he was out of sight, the chief grunted.

"I'm surprised they take orders from a greenling country girl." Squirt scowled as she took a seat on the ground, setting the bowl down gently and pulling out her practice slate to start figuring how to add the lightning stones to the traps.

"Not a country girl. I was born in the Capital, moved out to Everwinter twenty years back, joined the Guard, became a hunter."

"Doesn't explain how they started taking orders from you."

"You're taking orders from me, aren't you?"

"Hm. But Capital prisshats like them?" Squirt scowled down at the equations she was starting to work through on her board, not answering at first. Finally, she muttered, "Yeah, well… it weirds me out, too." She fell quiet as she went back to figuring out how to modify the trap to, instead of release a powder, break a lightning stone. She made good progress when Zakam returned with Anvanil. Squirt scowled up at the bull shifter, then stood and muttered, "Wait here."

Turning, she then trotted over to the two by the trees who straightened. She eyed them both before saying warily, "Zakam will watch me. You two should go hunting for meat for the village. Our party is scaring off the game, and with the populations as low as they are, a few weeks of lost hunting will make it a tight winter." Qzi grinned while spinning a blade that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Most kills gets a kiss?" Then grunted as one of Zhadin's tendrils whipped out to hit him in the stomach. Squirt glared and snapped at the redcap, "Fuck off. Don't make it a damn competition to see how many deer you can fell. The balance is tenuous enough without you two obliterating the deer populations. Stick to the old or males, don't fell any females with young and be back by nightfall." Zhadin nodded as Qzi saluted, an eager glint in the redcap's blood red eyes as he said, "Should I save you their heads?

Those are useful, right? The brains are tasty."

"If I wanted deer heads, I'd get my own. Ones from you would be a meaningless waste of time." With that, she turned on her heel and stomped back to the others in the field, ignoring the way the redcap sighed wistfully after her before melting away into the forest with Zhadin. With an annoyed huff, she sat back on the ground, picked up her slate, and returned to her calculations. The Skyian Herald's proclamation Week two of summer Hear ye, hear ye!

Prince Feldan has decided to take a respite from public appearances to focus his energies on our country's agricultural needs. For now, all courting of the prince has been suspended, and while the Festivals of Growth will continue as planned, he himself will not be making the previously scheduled appearances as he focuses instead on revitalizing our isles for the masses.

This decision was a joint one between Prince Feldan and our illustrious king meant to maximize this year's crops and their continued growth, something both royals know was desperately requested by the trade farmers. This decision will free up many of the upper echelon to focus on more important matters. The king is focusing all his political efforts on securing our lands and rooting out the traitors in our midst, those who continue to sow seeds of discord amongst the populace.

If you witness any suspicious individuals, please contact your local guard station immediately. Ambassadors from far and wide have reached our shores and are providing their support during these trying times, with the exception of Fer'ich, who continue to selfishly withhold their bounty. Our king is hopeful for a peaceful solution to be reached in the coming months, and in the meantime, ambassadors from as far as the Shadowlands have lent their support to our great nation.

In preparation for conflict with raiding tribes, the military is opening additional spots for new recruits. All recruits are guaranteed three meals a day from the first day of training. Join up today by visiting your local outpost or guard station to help protect the future of the Skye Kingdom!