Chương 52: Chapter 47: Inverse Safety

"I don't understand," Suria heard herself saying, as if from a great distance.

"Are you sure? How do you know?"

"I know what I saw," Xuhriha said, her sorrow turning grim.

"I suppose it's possible that I misunderstood it, because I don't know this sort of advanced soul magic. I couldn't confirm because I was already pushing my luck just watching." Suria slowly walked to one of the headstones and leaned against it, trying to draw stability from the cold stone under her fingers. Somehow a part of her had believed that if anyone she knew was eliminated, it would happen in front of her.

Foolish - she knew the world didn't revolve around her and the professors had a dozen plans in motion, so it was more probable than not.

"How?" she finally asked.

"He had his suicide necklace perfected... he seemed so confident in it..."

"I'm afraid that was actually what condemned him," Xuhriha told her somberly.

"I didn't see this part, so I'm guessing, but I think the necklace is what drew their attention. After all, what kind of person wears a device designed to kill them? There aren't many answers... spies and time loopers, mostly." Said that way, it seemed too obvious to Suria, but she had to admit that she hadn't taken the threat seriously prior to this point. She realized that, despite her paranoia, it was too easy to think of people outside the time loop as static figures who wouldn't put such details together.

The logic of it was actually extremely simple; the only expertise came in analyzing the enchanted necklace from a distance.

"Is there..." Suria took a shuddering breath and collected herself.

"Is there a chance he made it out first?"

"I don't think it's very likely," Xuhriha said.

"I surmise that once they realized his strategy, they knew they couldn't give him a chance, so they struck with no warning. The same instant he realized anything was wrong the spell was already striking him. I know it's small comfort, but at least they didn't try to question or torture him."

"Small comfort."

"Suria, you have to be careful. People don't realize how long death can take: being stabbed through the heart takes a surprisingly long time to kill you, for example. Even blowing up your head isn't instantly lethal, especially once healing magic gets involved. If you try any method, you need to be certain about it."

"I'm not trying anything at all, now," Suria answered grimly.

"I agree. Originally I was planning to leave Darkmoon over the saintsday break, but now I'm afraid they might be watching. I think we have to stay until the end of the loop. I'll be keeping my head down, but... I don't know what to tell you." The saintsday break... Suria had known it was coming and yet hadn't been thinking about it, since she'd been so gripped by all the potential threats.

Most likely the tension would decrease then, because students would normally move around and behave less predictably, so there wouldn't be much that would make the professors wary. She herself would obviously spend that time reading on campus, in any timeline, so no suspicion should fall on her. And yet somehow when Suria looked toward those three days they were just a yawning chasm in her schedule. She realized that she knew practically no one in this timeline except for the very professors who were hunting her...

"Suria." Abruptly Xuhriha hugged her, and the sudden contact stunned Suria for several seconds. She wanted to hold someone and not let go, but made herself push back.

"I can't let myself feel anything," Suria said, wiping her face clear.

"A little tension would be expected for a student in my position, but not this much exhaustion."

"I don't know how to cheer up someone like you," Xuhriha said sadly.

"The things that would work for me would probably just annoy you."

"It's just six more days. We can hold on through then." They parted after that, even though Suria felt achingly lonely - the two of them were just occasional study partners in this timeline and the privacy spell might have somehow attracted attention. That was all the contact Suria could afford, especially so close to Professor Abouric. She tried to throw herself into her studies even more than usual over the last few days of the break, but it was nearly futile.

When she forced herself she could perform competently, it was just that all her spark and creativity was gone. In her Evocation class, she mechanically learned different methods of utilizing her force spells, but when Professor Milirent asked for questions at the end of class she came up completely empty. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. As she sleepwalked through her schedule, she kept thinking about Dsjaho-an. It was hard to believe that he was gone...

in her memory she still saw him smiling in the market, proud of himself for his newest accomplishment. Sometimes she tried to think about what her own blind spots might be, sometimes she just missed him - she wanted to talk to Jeilin about their mutual friend, but they had no reason to be talking in this timeline. Occasionally she tried to harbor hope that Dsjaho-an was still alive, but her doubts were too strong and that hope did her no good now.

Normally she would try to reassure herself by checking on all the loopers who were still safe, which would only draw suspicion on her. The one train of thought that made her feel better was trying to think about what methods she could use to protect herself, even if she couldn't attempt them in this loop. It needed to be something that would seem normal under scrutiny, yet could bring about death swiftly. She actually had an vague idea, but exploring it further seemed impossible under current conditions.

When the saintsday break arrived, Suria found herself sitting in the middle of her unnecessarily soft bed, alone in the gaping room. She couldn't contact any loopers, Rije was on assignment for the professors, Maut-mai was gone, and she had never even met Kiznua or Orinyan this loop... she was surrounded by people and yet she had no one. Up to this point Suria had tried to always do the most rational thing, but she couldn't be logical here.

She gathered up all her equipment and stormed across campus, finding the nearest entrance to the supply tunnels. In her current state, she had a hard time keeping the timeline straight, and it was possible that staff had already cleared the weevil infestation. Several tunnels later she ran into a weevil and let out a cry of frustration as she incinerated it in an unnecessarily long, sustained blast of flame.

As the embers faded, she caught her breath and tried to think logically, reflecting that all the disturbances on campus must have prevented staff from clearing the infestation like normal. Could they have left it alone as bait in some sort of trap? Yet based on what she'd seen, loopers were less likely to spend time on a minor problem they would have already solved, and it wouldn't be completely strange for her to test herself on a relatively minor threat like this.

So Suria stormed her way through the tunnels, eradicating every weevil in her path. She didn't simply roast them, she used all her new skill with force spells to skewer them, crush them, sometimes even tear them apart. The remains splattered over her mana shield and she didn't even care, she just kept going. Casting from her runebook made it easy to switch between spells, especially because she realized that she didn't need to physically flip between the pages.

She could turn to a given page to increase her focus on a spell, but it wasn't strictly necessary. Using the runebook, it was simple to maintain her perception and defensive spells while casting whatever she needed most, without juggling a large number of talismans. Even though she saw so many ways she could improve further, the weevils didn't have a chance. When she wiped out the main nest she didn't feel proud of how far she'd come, she just felt alone.

She turned back, trying to regain her orientation amid all of the twisting tunnels. Technically she could probably find the xenarth nest again, but she shouldn't know its location this timeline...

"Are you finished, small one?" She stared numbly as Bumbledun moved around the corner, placidly and calmly. He was watching her with a degree of reserve and she knew that she probably looked a fright, with her clothing scorched and her hair askew.

"I think that was the last one," Suria breathed.

"Then we're grateful for your help," Bumbledun said mildly.

"We're not certain what brought this on, and we cannot exactly repay you..."

"I just wanted to help someone." Abruptly Suria couldn't take it any longer and she moved forward, dropping her runebook and burying her face in Bumbledun's fur. He seemed surprised at first, then his paw came to rest on her back, holding her close. They didn't know one another in this timeline, yet he still sought to comfort her. Suria wept, her tears being absorbed in the soft fur.

She knew that she shouldn't be doing this, since she had no reason to know Bumbledun or the other xenarths in this timeline, yet she couldn't stop herself. All she could do was weep until she emptied herself. ~ ~ ~ After the awkward embrace the xenarths were very kind, inviting her to a sitting room and offering her tea. Suria couldn't very well refuse, and the time helped her feel much better.

By the time she left the tunnels, all her emotions had gone cold and precise, like knives of ice, and she was thinking clearly again. One of her first thoughts was that the outburst had been a mistake that could potentially come back to bite her. Even if some emotion would be expected from a student in her position, moving directly to the xenarths was arguably a larger mistake than had condemned Dsjaho-an, so she expected to be punished for it.

She returned to her room and kept her spells ready to target herself, if the professors came for her. As time extended and no one came, Suria allowed herself to relax incrementally. This time was a gift as much as a curse, so she needed to use it well. After the saintsday break, she had three and a half days before the end of the loop.

Based on information she'd gathered from the other loopers, she was reasonably confident that the loop would not change until it reset - that would be another problem to anticipate, but she needed to make it through these days first. Not just survive, but claw out new advantages for herself. Though the professors were superior to her in most ways, they had no idea how long the loop lasted, and based on the historical precedents she had only studied in other timelines, loops could vary immensely in length.

So long as she didn't overplay her hand, she could use this to her advantage. In the remaining time this loop, she would learn everything she could so that this never happened again.