Chương 339: Dong Zhuo's Reaction

Liu Bei waved his hand and said, "Don't meddle in other people's business. We're here to fight, not to watch the show."

He walked to the tent entrance, looked at the endless rows of tents outside, and sighed:

"However... it's good that Alliance Leader Yuan has placed us under Cao Cao's command. Cao Mengde is a capable man. Following him, we might be able to get some fighting opportunities."

Fang Yue scratched her head and asked, "Big brother, when can we go into battle?"

Wang Shuang chimed in, "That's right, brother. We're here representing the Prince of Yan. If we just sit here eating and doing nothing, how will we explain ourselves when we get back?"

Liu Bei looked at them and smiled, saying:

"What's the rush? There's going to be a war. We'll just wait."

He gazed westward toward Luoyang, his eyes deep and thoughtful, and said:

"Dong Zhuo... Xiliang Iron Cavalry... Heh, I want to see just how powerful these cavalry really are."

Fang Yue and Wang Shuang exchanged a glance, both seeing excitement in each other's eyes.

War is about to break out.

The war is finally about to begin!

......

At this moment, hundreds of thousands of troops are assembling in the Suanzao camp.

The war drums are about to sound.

......

The Prince of Yan's Mansion in Zhuo County, Youzhou.

Liu Ce listened to Lu Bing's report on the sour jujubes.

When he heard Yuan Shao and Yuan Shu arguing in public, he almost died laughing.

"Hahaha! These two are such a handful! I knew this would happen!"

After laughing, he asked, "How's Liu Bei? How's he doing?"

Lu Bingdao said, "Liu Bei was assigned to Cao Cao's camp and is temporarily without any assignments. His two brothers privately criticized Yuan Shao and Yuan Shu, and were reprimanded by Liu Bei."

Liu Ce nodded, then shook his head and said:

"Liu Bei, Liu Bei, your patience is truly remarkable. Alright, keep an eye on things, and report back to me immediately if there's any news."

Lu Bing clasped his hands in a fist and said, "Yes."

Liu Ce looked at the snow outside the window and smiled:

"The nineteen warlords are launching a coalition against Dong Zhuo... Hehe, this show is getting more and more interesting."

...

In the warm pavilion of the Prime Minister's residence in Luoyang.

Dong Zhuo was sinking his two-hundred-pound body into the soft mink-fur couch, his left arm around the beauty he had just abducted, his right hand holding an agate wine cup, taking a small sip of wine, listening to a little tune, so happy that snot bubbles were about to come out of his nose.

The warm room was heated by a fine charcoal fire, making it as warm as springtime.

The table was laden with delicacies from land and sea, including roast suckling pig, stewed lamb leg, braised deer tendon, and so on.

Dong Zhuo ate with grease on his face, occasionally stuffing pieces of meat into the beauty's mouth, making her giggle.

"Prime Minister, please have another drink~" The beauty held the wine cup to his lips.

These days are so comfortable!

Since the young Liu Xie was made emperor, Luoyang has been Dong Zhuo's territory.

Kill whoever you want, rob whoever you want, sleep with whoever you want. Of course, you have to be selective about the last one. Don't choose the one who's too old, don't choose the one who's ugly, don't choose the one who's too hot-tempered... cough, that would be even more interesting.

He was feeling great when suddenly...

"Report!!!"

A heart-wrenching report rushed in from outside the palace.

The messenger scrambled into the hall, his face deathly pale, and knelt on the ground with a thud, howling:

"Prime Minister... Prime Minister! Something terrible has happened!!!"

Dong Zhuo was enjoying his drink when he was startled by the shout, and half a cup of wine spilled onto his newly made brocade robe.

The robe was made of Shu brocade, embroidered with gold thread. One piece could buy several years' worth of food for an ordinary family, and it was wasted like that.

His face darkened immediately, and he slammed the wine glass to the ground, where it shattered with a loud crash, shards flying everywhere.

"Screw your damn funeral!" Dong Zhuo's eyes widened, his fat body jiggling wildly.

"Has the sky fallen or the earth caved in? I'm not dead yet!"

The soldier trembled with fear, stammering, "Prime... Prime Minister! Something terrible has happened! Almost all the prefectures and counties in Guandong have rebelled!"

"What?" Dong Zhuo was stunned, thinking he had misheard.

"Who has rebelled?"

The soldier swallowed hard and counted on his fingers, "Yuan Shao, Yuan Shu, Liu Chong, Zhang Miao, Zhang Chao, Qiao Mao, Yuan Yi, Kong Zhou, Liu Dai, Wang Kuang, Bao Xin, Sun Jian, Zhu Jun, Ma Teng, Zhang Yang, Han Sui, Kong Rong, Tao Qian, and Cao Cao—nineteen warlords—met at Suanzao, elected Yuan Shao as their leader, gathered hundreds of thousands of troops, and boasted that they would march into Luoyang and kill you, Prime Minister!!!"

"What???"

Dong Zhuo was stunned on the spot, thinking he had misheard because he was drunk.

He rubbed his ears, glared at the soldier, and said, "Say it again? How many miles?"

"Route 10... Route 19..."

"The 19th Route Army? Those good-for-nothings who wouldn't even dare to raise their heads in front of me normally? They dare to rebel against me?"

Dong Zhuo shoved the beauty out of his arms. She was pushed to the ground and didn't dare to make a sound. She knelt there trembling.

With a "whoosh," Dong Zhuo jumped up from the bed, his weight of over 200 pounds causing the floor to shake three times.

He rushed to the soldier in two strides, grabbed him by the collar, and lifted him up like a chick:

"You explain yourself! Who started this? Who became the leader?"

"It's... it's Yuan Shao!" The soldier, hoisted into the air, kicked his legs wildly.

"General Yuan Shao!"

Dong Zhuo paused for a second, then slammed the soldier to the ground. The soldier was dazed and confused, but didn't dare to utter a sound.

"Yuan Shao! That illegitimate son of a bitch!" Dong Zhuo turned around and swept all the wine pots, fruit plates, and dishes off the table, shattering them on the floor. The warm pavilion was instantly a mess.

"Back in Luoyang, I could have chopped him down with one stroke! I spared his dog's life, but he dared to be the first to stick his neck out!"

He grew angrier with each curse, his face turning bright red, his chest heaving violently, and his fat jiggling like waves as he spoke:

"They've rebelled! They've all rebelled!!! I gave them face, didn't I! One by one, if it weren't for me, would they have become this official or that official? Now look at them, taking the benefits I gave them and turning around to bite me! A bunch of ingrates! Sons of bitches!!!"

"Damn it!!!" Dong Zhuo roared, and the palace maids in the hall were so frightened that they all knelt on the ground, their heads pressed to the ground, not daring to breathe, for fear that this madman would chop them up if he was unhappy.

"These cowardly rats from Guandong! Back when I was slaughtering the Qiang people in Xiliang, they were probably still suckling milk somewhere! Now they dare to unite against us? And that bastard Cao Cao, he tried to assassinate us but failed and ran away, and now he dares to incite these people to cause trouble? They're really tired of living!"

He paced back and forth in the hall, his footsteps making a "thump-thump" sound on the floor, cursing and swearing. One moment he was cursing the feudal lords for being ungrateful, the next he was cursing that he hadn't killed all of them back then. He was so angry that his eyes turned red, and he wished he could lead his troops to Suanzao on the spot and chop all of them up.

......