Chương 32: Rivalry

Joe was not having fun floating through the infinite void with nothing but metal, glass, and several centuries of human ingenuity to keep him safe. Though, for once, his phobia wasn't the main cause of his anxiety. If anything he was slowly but surely getting a handle on that. With a bit of luck, he might have actually enjoyed the latter half of the interstellar cruise.

Unfortunately his astrohodophobia therapy had been rudely interrupted by the thrice-shocking news that Maggie's sibling was going to pay them a visit. He had learned all at once that his cosmic sweetheart apparently had a family, that they were dropping by for a surprise visit, and that this individual bore the panic-inducing title of 'The Devourer.' It was a tough pill to swallow.

This new information was also the current source of Joe's worries. At first he was simply stressing over whether the cold vacuum of space would claim him, but he now also had to look forward to meeting some unspeakable monstrosity that might just swallow him whole. Or at least that's what he assumed, based on the very limited information he'd gotten out of Maggie. The fact that the girl didn't have her usual air of cool confidence only worsened the strain on his nerves.

Thankfully, Joe Mulligan was a man whose psyche had been galvanized time and time again after spending so long in the company of a Class-3 cosmic entity. After the initial shock and subsequent dread wore off, he was able to think things through a bit more rationally.

Surely, he figured, this Kelogh'theryl fellow wouldn't literally consume everything in sight. After all, there was a lot more to The Observer than a silent fly on the wall that did nothing but watch. It would therefore be foolish of Joe to assume that eating things was all The Devourer was about. He didn't know for sure, of course, but he had a pretty good source of information. The only issue was that he had a hunch he wasn't going to like the answers to his questions.

Much like the micrometeorite thing, The Devourer's true nature was a topic that he was perhaps better off remaining ignorant about. Joe mulled over the matter for two whole days before he ultimately decided that if he was going to be at Maggie's side, he couldn't turn a blind eye to her problems. How could he possibly call himself her boyfriend if he didn't at least try to understand her troubles? Especially after how supportive she had been after his own familial issues came to light.

Joe made up his mind around the time he was finishing up lunch, having elected to eat alone so he can finish thinking things through. Now that he had, he wasted no time in returning to the cabin. He found the girl floating roughly in the middle of the room with her eyes closed and hair coils wigging out, exactly where and how he'd left her. She'd been like that for the better part of the last two days, having claimed that she was busy preparing for the upcoming visit.

Joe had no doubt that Maggie was definitely doing some brain-stretching in case things got out of hand, but he had a hunch she was just nervous and unsure how to handle it. It was adorable, in a way.

"Hey, Maggie," he greeted her with a wave.

"Do you have a minute?"

Her eyes opened and a smile floated onto her lips.

"For you, always."

"I wanted to ask a few things about You-know-who."

"Ah."

The girl didn't even attempt to keep her face from stiffening up.

"Then ask, and I shall do my best to answer."

"Yeah, so, let's start with the big one. Devourer, yeah? I take it that title isn't just for show?"

Maggie blinked several times in rapid succession, after which she let out a light chuckle.

"What?" Joe looked confused.

"What's so funny?"

"I apologize. I mistakenly assumed 'You-know-who' referred to someone else entirely. But yes, Kelogh'theryl's moniker is rightfully earned."

"Riiiight… So, what sort of things does he, y'know, devour?"

"I am uncertain, my sibling's tastes are ever-shifting. However, I can assure you that Kelogh'theryl will not consume things that are not… tasty."

"Ah. And, uh, what sort of things does he find 'tasty,' exactly?"

"To my knowledge, the list includes, but is not limited to, cotton candy, nightmares about pancakes, polished fingernails, awkward silences, every episode of a twentieth-century sitcom called 'Friends,' seven-point-five carat diamonds, and the strange feeling that one is forgetting something."

"Huh," Joe blinked while that sunk in.

"Okay. That's… somehow both super weird and completely understandable."

It was an exceedingly random array of things to be sure, some of which weren't even 'things' per-se. And yet, it was precisely the sort of seemingly disconnected collection of topics that Maggie might obsess over. Even the creepy or oddly specific ones. Perhaps rampant curiosity ran in their cosmic family? One could argue that, technically speaking, both of them shared a thirst for knowledge, though in the Devourer's case it was a bit more literal. Regardless, this revelation helped ease one of Joe's main worries.

"Well, if nothing else, at least he's picky. Heh. Just have to hope I don't end up on the menu."

He said it in jest, but Maggie's cold stare made him instantly regret doing so.

"Oh, bugger," he had a rare moment of insight.

"That's not why he's coming, is he? To eat me?"

"There is an exceedingly high probability this is the case," the girl bluntly stated, "though there is an inversely low likelihood that Kelogh'theryl wishes to merely consume your physical form. Past correspondences have informed me that my sibling finds human flesh, and I quote, irredeemably bland."

"That's, uh, probably a good thing?"

"The alternatives are also risky, however. Kelogh'theryl may intend to consume parts of your psyche, or perhaps memories. That is why I am currently building up various psionic countermeasures."

"He can do that? Brain-fucky things, I mean?"

"Indeed. Both of us fit squarely into the Class-3 category. We are literally evenly matched in terms of psionic ability. If a fight were to happen between us, it would immediately become a stalemate and inevitably conclude in a draw. However, that is precisely why you should not worry, as I can instantly put a stop to any shenanigans my other half might be planning."

"Other half?" the man raised an eyebrow.

"What, like an ex or something?"

Maggie's face screwed up in an expression that radiated such palpable disgust that Joe momentarily felt like his lunch might make a surprise reappearance.

"That is the most vile insinuation I have ever heard," she bluntly stated.

"So much so that I will now obliterate it from my memory, and I will ask you to never repeat it, lest I must do so again."

"… Okay."

Joe immediately felt like a complete pillock. Of course this Devourer guy wasn't Maggie's ex. Weird sort-of-sibling stuff aside, the girl had stated multiple times that this whole romantic relationship thing was a first for her, and it was against her nature to lie. Admittedly she sometimes omitted uncomfortable truths, but this clearly wasn't one of those cases. The reaction she had to Joe's words was so severe that the man couldn't bring himself to broach the subject of that 'other half' comment again.

A few days later the man had dropped the matter entirely, filing it away under one of those 'unknowable truths' that Maggie occasionally spoke of - knowledge that the human mind could not comprehend without abandoning its sanity. The important thing to take away from that conversation was that she was wary and uncertain of The Devourer's motives, and that Joe needed to keep his guard up.

And then, inevitably, the big day came. The spacefaring yacht arrived in the Midcrest system on schedule. This particular star system had been one of the first to be colonized by the Third British Empire, and the local state of affairs reflected this. Four of its eight planets were inhabited, as were dozens of moons and space stations. On the whole, the combined population in the system easily exceeded thirty billion - the highest in the 3BE.

Of particular note was the planet Midcrest-3, an immense celestial body that wasn't quite massive enough to be a gas giant. More of a 'gas midget,' as the locals liked to say. Its surface was highly irradiated and the atmosphere was filled with toxic metal particles that gave it a somewhat surreal violet-green hue when viewed from orbit. It was a completely uninhabitable world that was beyond any terraforming technology currently available.

What made this planet remarkable were its three natural satellites - Midcrest-3-A, Midcrest-3-B, and Midcrest-3-D. It used to have four, but 3-C was too small to have an atmosphere and got turned into spaceships and hyper-scrapers. The other three, however, were remarkably Earth-like in size, temperature, and composition, and British colonists did not fail to settle these extremely rare planetoids as soon and as aggressively as they were able.

As a result, this hat-trick of moons now held around half of the system's staggering population and was responsible for 90% of its industry. The so-called Midcrest Trifecta has remained one of the titans of British civilization for three centuries, and showed no signs of relinquishing that title.

However, the ancient mega-cities' infrastructure hadn't stood the test of time. As old tunnels, factories, and storage spaces were rendered obsolete, the humans did as humans did and simply abandoned them to rebuild elsewhere. It just wasn't feasible to refurbish and refit so many ancient facilities, the local government said. This led to the Trifecta having swathes of land filled with abandoned, barely functioning structures.

Various unsavory elements were allowed to fester in these mostly lawless areas in ways that were practically impossible on newer, shinier colonies like Butterpond-4. In other words, it was the perfect place for a cheeky Class-3 cosmic entity to gain a foothold without the Supernatural Eviction Agency noticing.

"So, uh, where's Mr. Brain-muncher?" Joe asked.

"Uncertain."

"But you said he came aboard this ship, right?"

"Indeed."

"And it's already been two hours."

"This is so."

"So where is he?"

"Uncertain."

"But don't you, like, see everything?!"

"My perception does indeed encompass the entirety of this vessel. However, my sibling is projecting a psionic interference field that makes it impossible to pinpoint a location."

"What about all those cameras? You can use those with your techno-wizardry, right?"

"This is so, but I am currently unaware of which of the two hundred and seventy six passengers that arrived from Midcrest-3-A holds my sibling's consciousness."

In other words, she didn't know what she was looking for. And even if she did, her target had other ways of evading her notice. Maggie's assertion that the two of them were evenly matched was, as per usual, quite accurate.

"Ugh," the man gave up.

"Well, we already missed the restaurant's lunch hours, so do you mind if I just order room service?"

"This is permissible."

Joe, now more frustrated than anxious, wasted no time in ordering a serving of fish and chips. He then reconsidered and ordered three more portions - one for Maggie and two for their eventual visitor. Almost immediately after he did so, there was a ring at the couple's door. Given the odd timing and that the panel next to the entrance failed to identify the visitor via their implants, there was absolutely no doubt as to who had finally decided to show up.

With an understanding nod between himself and Maggie, Joe took a deep breath and opened the door.

The person on the other side was completely unlike anything the man expected. Rather than some fat slob or some impossibly thin picky eater, he was greeted with the sight of an absolute bombshell. The woman had fair, flawless skin, piercing blue eyes, wild blonde hair, aggressively feminine facial features, and an exaggerated hourglass figure that looked like it had come straight out of an adult movie. That last one in particular was almost on full display.

The bright red sweater she wore like a cocktail dress left everything around her shoulders completely exposed, only barely managing to contain that voluminous bosom. This borderline indecent garment put into question both its own ability to stay in place and the presence of any underwear. The pair of long legs that escaped from its lower end were wrapped in some thigh-high stockings that left a provocative area of exposed skin, though Joe hadn't made it that far down yet.

His stupefied gaze was still fixated on the woman's upper half, though not on her outrageous cleavage. What drew his attention was the woman's pointy-toothed grin and the snapping, maw-like shapes that her golden hair adopted seemingly of its own volition.

"Howdy, hun," she winked.

"Were y'all wait up for little ol' me, or did I just catch you at an opportune moment?"

Joe's head turned towards Maggie so slowly that one could almost hear his neck making creaking noises. He shot her a wide-eyed look that said louder than any words, 'Really? You didn't notice this?!' The girl replied by lightly facepalming, signifying that yes, she somehow didn't think the shark-mouthed weirdo with the biting locks might be The Devourer. With that brief yet silent exchange over, Joe turned his attention back to their guest.

The blonde's shit-eating grin had only deepened, making it clear that she was enjoying the moment.

Indeed, it wasn't easy to pull one over on Magh'rathlak the Observer, but if anyone could do it, it was the being's cosmically opposed counterpart, Kelogh'theryl the Devourer.

"Call me Kelly, by the way," the woman extended a hand in greeting.

"And you must be Joe."

"Ah, yes, hello," the man awkwardly shook it.

"It's nice to- Ew, wait, why are your palms so sweaty?"

It was exceedingly rude of him to say that, especially given the way he pulled his arm back. However, his reaction was only natural. That handshake was so moist it was downright disgusting.

"That ain't sweat, hun."

The Devourer raised her hand, showing that a small mouth with a very wet tongue had appeared in her palm.

"Your skin tastes horrible, by the way. You need to moisturize more."

"Uh…"

"Joe's skin is just as rough as it needs to be," Maggie interjected.

"It gives it a more manly feel, which I personally think suits him."

The two Class-3 entities locked eyes, and their expressions flattened. And then, something happened. The swirling abyss of Maggie's gaze became torrential whirlpools of darkness and Kelly's piercing blue irises glowed like miniature suns. Both of their animated locks started spazzing out like crazy, sprouting either eyes or fangs. Yet despite all these signs of psionic activity that he had learned to recognize, Joe saw absolutely no change in his environment.

None of the furniture snapped in half, none of the walls shook or bent, and he wasn't bleeding from any orifices.

Then again, there was no way for him to know that Kelly was attempting to open microscopic black holes all over the place and that Maggie was shutting them down. The stalemate then ended in a draw less than a minute later, just as the girl had predicted.

"Good to see humanity hasn't dulled your senses," Kelly gave another toothy grin.

"The feeling is not mutual."

"Aw, come on. Don't be like that. We've not seen eye-to-tooth in centuries. Give us a hug at least."

The blonde spread her arms and the black-haired rolled her eyes, but two sisters hugged it out nonetheless. For what it was worth, Kelly seemed to be genuinely happy to see Maggie. Meanwhile the more reserved girl was blatantly doing it out of some kind of obligation, given how reluctant she was to return the embrace. With all greetings out of the way, the blonde took a step back and turned her attention back to Joe.

"For real, though? I'm impressed you managed to bag yourself a man like this. He's an absolute snack, isn't he?"

The way she licked those red lips while raising her eyebrows made it clear she wasn't using the literal meaning of that word.

"Don't get any ideas, lady," he immediately cut her off.

"Don't get me wrong, you're very pretty, but I love Maggie more than anything."

The lascivious expression on Kelly's face turned to one of disappointment while her 'little sister' started emitting an aura of pure smugness.

"Also, where's your anchor person at?" Joe looked up and down the hallway, failing to spot anyone else.

"Oh, that's not what I'm doing, hun," the woman dismissed his concerns.

"I'm just borrowing this here body while its owner is taking a nap."

The man looked to Maggie with a glance that begged for an explanation.

"Possession," she clarified.

"Ah."

"Don't give me that face, hun. If it makes you feel better, the pathetic loser welcomed me in. It's worked out pretty well for both of us, though I had to make some modifications."

She grabbed and squeezed her heaving bosom as she emphasized that last word.

"Quite," Joe acted unimpressed.

"Well, I guess you'd best come in then, yeah? The food I ordered should be here soon."

"Why thank you ever so kindly."

Kelly bounced into the cabin and plomped herself on the sofa in the middle of the room. Joe and Maggie each took a seat opposite her, across the glass tea table.

"So, uh, Kelly. What brings you here?" the man kicked off the conversation.

"Oh, nothing big. Just didn't want to miss a chance to see what Ms. Oblivious over there has been up to. Also, from what I gathered this cruise was supposed to have quite a few morsels on it, and from what I've seen so far, I was right."

"I see. Uhm, what… kind of morsels?" the man warily asked.

"V-i-g-i-r-n-s," she slowly spelled out.

"What's a vigirn?"

The ensuing awkward silence lasted for only a few moments before Maggie let out a barely audible yet clearly mocking snort.

"You be quiet," Kelly growled.

"I will use whatever and as much volume I deem necessary to reinforce the objective truth that anyone who fails at basic linguistics to a degree such as the one you have just demonstrated is unworthy of the endowment of speech."

The blonde stared at her with a blank expression that Joe was extremely familiar with. It was the face of someone who had no idea what they had just been told.

"She means she'll shut up when you learn to spell," he graciously translated.

"Oh, yeah? Well you can tell her that while she's busy jumbling words, I've already discovered seven new taste sensations that she will never know!"

"Joe, inform our guest that I have observed and catalogued sixty-eight thousand and seventy one pieces of new information since our last meeting."

"And you can tell her that-"

"Woah, woah! Easy, now," he tried to calm them both down.

"Look, I get that you don't get along too well, but seriously. You're sisters. Uh, sort of. So, y'know, lighten up a bit."

The two cosmic entities looked at each other intensely before simultaneously turning towards Joe, each wearing their version of a questioning look.

"And no, I don't mean you should start glowing," he clarified.

The girls nodded resolutely and relaxed back in their seats while the guy let out a tired sigh. Just as he'd suspected, even though the difference between these two was like night and day, deep down they were more similar than they cared to admit. How else would they both have the same basic misunderstanding? Granted, Maggie was unsure because she was a bit too literal at times whereas Kelly's confusion most likely stemmed from a place of stupidity, but it was common ground nonetheless.

This was undeniably a good thing, if for no other reason than it would make the visit more… palatable.

To put it bluntly, Kelly had intruded on the couple on a complete whim, most likely some hair-brained plan to 'sample' Joe in some metaphorical way. Both he and Maggie agreed they'd rather not let that happen. Unfortunately ejecting the unwanted visitor by force wasn't an option. The couple's plan of action was to be on guard and entertain Kelly long enough for her to either get bored or get pulled away by some other random impulse.

That was just her nature as a creature of chaos and the cosmic counter-balance to the entity of order that inhabited Maggie's lovely vessel.

"No, but seriously, what sort of flavor's caught your fancy this time around?" the man asked.

"Is it more pancake nightmares?"

"Oh? Someone's been telling tales about me, I see," the blonde smirked.

"I have stated nothing but objective facts," Maggie adamantly claimed.

"That's the problem! Your 'facts' suck the fun out of everything," Kelly groaned.

"You know, I was super surprised when I heard you were finally giving this whole 'embrace humanity' thing a chance. Dare I ask what finally got you to do that?"

"I merely recognized the compelling logic buried beneath your disjointed ramblings."

"Wait… did you just admit I was right?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Well slap my butt and call me Sally! Miracles are real!"

"I shall do neither of those things," Maggie rolled her eyes, "and no, they are not."

"Wait, hold up," Joe interjected.

"Kelly's the one who gave you the idea to do all this?"

"… Yes," the girl begrudgingly admitted.

"Wow. Well, Kelly, as far as I'm concerned, I owe you big time. You've no idea how happy I've been since Maggie dropped into my life."

"Think nothing of it, hun. Like, keeping life interesting's what I'm all about. Also, I take it the Melinda Sparklestar look was your idea?"

"Er, kind of?"

"Oh?" the blonde's eyes perked up.

"I sense a wacky and embarrassing story here. Do tell!"

"Nothing much to tell. I mean, there was a cult thing, I was there, and before I knew it, here we are."

"Joe signed up to be the offering in a summoning ritual and didn't realize it until it was over," Maggie gleefully stated.

"He did what?!" Kelly's jaw hung open in disbelief.

"HOW?!"

"By his own admission, he skimmed through the brochure they gave him and, quote, 'just kinda rolled with whatever they said,' unquote."

"Ha! Hahaha! Ah-hahahaha! Oh, that's rich! BAHAHAHAHA!"

"Come on, Maggie! Why'd you have to go and say it like that?!" the guy complained.

"Are you suggesting I obfuscate the facts surrounding your incredible feat of ignorance?"

"I mean, it's not like you haven't done it before…"

"Also, you're cute when you're embarrassed," she beamed merrily.

"Ahahah, oh, man. Whew!" Kelly finally calmed down.

"Okay, I think I get it now. So that's how it is."

"That's how what is?" the man asked what both he and Maggie were thinking.

"I couldn't for the life of me figure out how this eternal wallflower could get close to anyone, let alone a mere human. But now I see. She met someone so unbelievably stupid that her galaxy-sized brain couldn't comprehend their existence. Joe, my man, you must be, like, a black hole of stupidity, and I mean that in the best way possible."

"At least I know how to spell," he grumbled.

"Actually, you never did answer what that 'vigiris' thing or whatever was."

Kelly batted her eyelashes in confusion for a moment. A playful smirk then floated onto her full lips. She crossed her legs in a way that barely avoided confirming or denying the existence of any panties underneath that red sweater-dress. She then crossed her arms over her stomach and leaned forward, putting her monstrous cleavage front and center. With the sexual tension in the room reaching higher levels than any common bloke was comfortable with, she then uttered a single, highly suggestive word.

"Virgins."

"V-virgins?" the stupefied simpleton blurted out.

"Oh, yes," she half-whispered.

"Innocent, nervous, unsure men that both yearn for and fear a woman's touch. The jumbled thoughts and emotions that run through their heads are absolutely scrumptious, made all the more irresistible when paired with the feeling of a long… hard… and eager… dicking."

"That's… uh… that's…"

Ding-dong

"Oh! Hey! Food's here!" Joe bolted upward, his words a little too quick.

"Do you like fish and chips, Kelly? Well, you better, because that's all I ordered! Hahaha! I'll go get it."

The man briskly walked towards the door, opened it up, and then proceeded to spend far too long trying to make small talk with the catering automaton on the other side. Kelly stared at his back with a sort of bemused smirk, completely unbothered by the murderous glare radiating from Maggie. It was a look she had seen countless times before, that of a woman warning a thieving harlot away from her man.

And yet, she would never have expected her stuck-up and dreadfully logical sibling to put on such a display of raw emotion.

"This is nice," Kelly quietly remarked.

"What is?" the black-haired girl flatly asked.

"This. You and him. You actually care about him, don't you? Like, not as a test subject in one of your weirdo experiments, but as a guy you wanna spend every waking moment with."

"… I do, yes," her glare softened somewhat.

The blonde looked back at her and smiled. Not some cocky grin, but a genuine, gentle expression of happiness. This revelation was a huge surprise, and Kelly liked those just as much as Maggie. For completely different reasons, of course. Unlike her overly orderly sibling, Kelogh'theryl the Devourer couldn't give a rat's ass about the unique learning opportunities presented by unexpected occurrences.

However, the chaotic half of the cosmic balancing act was always thrilled by anything that shook up the status quo, and Magh'rathlak the Observer developing feelings for a human definitely fit the bill.

"Good for you. I mean it. Still, it's a bit of a shame," Kelly said with a small sigh.

"I had a feeling he'd make a great snack, but I guess you already called dibs."

"That is indeed the case."

"Though, you know, they say sex and love aren't-"

"No," Maggie sharply cut her off.

"Yeesh. Alright, suit yourself. But if you ever, like, want to spice things up, you know where to find me."

"I'll be sure to purge your offer from my memory later."

"Mhm. You do that. In the meantime, can you stop trying to turn my head into atoms already? It's getting old."

She'd been at it ever since the three of them sat down, and having to continuously counteract her attempts was starting to get on the blonde's nerves.

"I can."

"Will you, though?"

"No."

"Yeah, I figured," Kelly sighed again.

Since the two Class-3 entities were both able to fully neutralize the other, Maggie realistically stood no chance of murdering her counterpart's host. However, that wasn't her goal. By maintaining the mental pressure, she ensured that Kelly was far too occupied warding her off to try something funny with Joe. As such, even this ongoing stalemate was practically a victory as far as Maggie was concerned. The only issue was that the blonde bombshell didn't need her supernatural mind to ooze sex appeal.

Maggie trusted Joe wouldn't succumb to such advances, but she disliked how uncomfortable Kelly's attitude was making him.

"Seriously, though. I only need him for like, five minutes. Ten tops."

"No."

"You can join in if you want."

"No."

"C'mon, it'll be fun! We'll make it a… bonding experience!"

"No."

"Oh, right, I forgot. You prefer to watch," the cocky grin returned.

Maggie took a deep breath. This bimbo clearly had no intention of giving up, so the girl decided to take action. Thankfully, she had a freshly devised plan to deal with her. Maggie had taken the liberty of remotely accessing the yacht's security footage over the past few minutes. She'd been rather curious as to what exactly Kelly had been up to ever since she boarded the ship. Now that she knew what form her sibling was using, she was able to confirm her suspicions.

That two hour delay was caused by The Devourer's tendency to get distracted by whatever 'tasty' thing she happened to come across. In this particular instance, she had 'sampled' several 'snacks' before finally arriving at the cabin, but there was one other thing that she seemed to be obsessing over at the moment. Something that, if her host's bank balance was any indication, she would have difficulty obtaining without outside help.

Of course she could always try to claim the stuff through force, but Kelly knew better than to go on a rampage with Maggie nearby.

"Promise to cease your attempts at seducing Joe, and I'll buy you a hundred servings of blueberry waffles."

The blonde's blue eyes opened wide as she slammed both hands on the miniature table.

"Deal!"

"The pact is thus sealed."

"… Ah, crap."

It was now Maggie's turn to put on a triumphant smirk. Agreements between fellow Class-3s carried a lot more weight than those involving humans. Even a creature of chaos was unable to go against any pact made with an entity of order that was of equal or greater standing. At least, not without royally pissing off Yagraactah the Adjudicator. Kelly might've been an impulsive pleasure-seeking idiot, but even she wasn't stupid enough to risk incurirng the wrath of an elder one.

… Probably.