Chương 2: The Sleeper Agent (07/05/1979)

DATE: Thursday, July 5, 1979 (New Timeline) LOCATION: Fallbrook, California LOCAL TIME: 07: 00 AM The scream of the C-130's turboprops was gone. I braced for the crushing impact of the ocean, but the violent G-force never came. Instead, a heavy, suffocating silence pressed against my ears. The freezing draft of the cargo bay had vanished, replaced by a stifling, damp heat that clung to my skin. I opened my eyes, expecting the headache-inducing red tactical lights of the failing fuselage.

A motionless ceiling fan hovered in the shadows above me. Where am I? I tried to sit up, instantly commanding my abdominal muscles to lift my torso. Nothing happened. My body ignored the signal, and I flopped awkwardly onto my side, my cheek pressing into a scratchy mattress. Panic, cold and sharp, spiked in my chest. My core strength was entirely gone. I brought my hands to my face to check for head trauma, but the movement was jerky and imprecise. I stared at the hands hovering in front of my eyes.

They were pudgy, smooth, and incredibly small. There were dimples where the knuckles should be. My breath hitched in a throat that felt dangerously tight. I forced myself to remain perfectly still. I closed my eyes and let the ingrained discipline of a fifty-year-old data analyst take over. Just breathe. Look at the variables. Gather the data before you react. I dragged my gaze across the room. The scale of the architecture was entirely wrong.

To my left, a wooden shelving unit loomed like a skyscraper, buckling under the weight of oversized Little Golden Books and a plush Snoopy with a red scarf that looked the size of a golden retriever. A nursery. I wasn't alone. The rhythmic, wet breathing of two other people broke the silence. Just a few feet away, a tuft of blond hair poked out from under a zoo-animal blanket in a small bed with wooden rails. Across the room, a tiny lump rose and fell in a chipped white crib. I squinted in the dim morning light.

The blonde toddler shifted, mumbling a soft, high-pitched nonsense word in his sleep. Chase? My heart hammered against ribs that felt terribly fragile. I looked back toward the crib. Nick. I looked down at myself. I was sealed inside a pale yellow sleeper—a one-piece polyester suit covering me from neck to toe. It was July in Southern California, yet I was bundled for an arctic expedition. Sweat pooled uncomfortably between my toes, trapped by the vinyl nonslip pads acting as vapor barriers on my soles.

I swung my disproportionately short legs over the side of the mattress and reached for the zipper at my throat to let some heat out. My fingers found the metal tab, but they wouldn't cooperate. I couldn't pinch and pull. They just slipped helplessly against the sweat. A groan of raw frustration fought its way up my throat, but I swallowed it hard, clamping my small jaw shut. In 2025, I managed complex algorithms and international logistics. Now, I couldn't even unzip my own pajamas.

From outside the room, the tinny sound of trumpets began playing "Gonna Fly Now" by Bill Conti. The door handle turned, and the theme song from Rocky entered the room as a massive silhouette filled the doorway.

"Well, look who's up," the giant boomed. I froze, staring up at the man. The shockwave of recognition nearly knocked me backward onto the mattress. It was my father, Doug Tillman. But he wasn't the broken, exhausted man who had died in 2010. He was young. His hair was thick, his shoulders broad. In my original timeline, my own children were teenagers. I had already survived the sleepless nights, the fever spikes, and the crushing, terrifying weight of keeping tiny humans alive.

Looking at my father now, I didn't see an imposing authority figure. I saw a rookie. A thirty-year-old kid desperately trying to hold his life together, with a look of profound, fragile hope in his eyes. He crossed the room in two massive strides, bypassing the crib to kneel beside me. His large hand covered my entire forehead, dwarfing my skull.

"Cool as a cucumber," he whispered, exhaling a breath he'd clearly been holding all night.

"Sue! The fever broke!"

"Thank God," my mother's voice called from the kitchen over the sizzle of a pan.

"Is he still shivering?"

"No, he's burning up, but it's just the sleeper," Doug said. He ruffled my damp hair.

"We bundled you up good, didn't we, Tiger? Sweated that bug right out of you."

"I'm thirsty," I rasped. I flinched at my own voice. It emerged high and reedy—a cheap, squeaky instrument I had no idea how to play.

"I bet you are," Doug said. He stood up and moved to the crib.

"Rise and shine, troops." He scooped Nick up. Nick immediately began to fuss—a high-pitched, piercing shriek that sounded like he was being stabbed. Dad rocked him, his jaw tightening with the familiar, helpless stress I remembered feeling when my own son wouldn't latch.

"I know, Nick, I know. Breakfast is coming." Then he reached down and shook Chase's shoulder gently.

"Chase-man. Pancake time." Chase sat up instantly, hair wild, eyes wide.

"Pan-wakes?"

"You bet," Dad said. He looked at the floor.

"Can you walk, Chad, or do you need the express train?"

"I can walk," I said. I slid off the bed, clutching at a strange, childish sense of dignity. I was the oldest. I should be walking. He carried the screaming baby out. I stood up, my vinyl-soled feet hitting the deep orange shag carpet. Scuff. Scuff. Walking felt like operating a heavy piece of machinery with a broken joystick. My center of gravity was bizarrely low. The friction of the synthetic carpet grabbed at my damp polyester, turning me into a walking static battery.

I stopped at the full-length mirror on the back of the door. The vertigo nearly floored me. I stared at the boy in the glass. Brown hair falling into his eyes, wet with sweat. It wasn't just my childhood face. It was the exact face of my son, John, at age three. It was like looking at a ghost. I reached out, my tiny, uncoordinated hand pressing against the cold glass.

"John?" I whispered. The grief hit harder than the vertigo. A hollow, physical ache bloomed in my chest. I hadn't seen my children in nine months in my "real" time. I was supposed to be teaching John how to drive next month. Now, I was the child, trapped in a timeline where my teenagers wouldn't even exist for decades. The profound isolation threatened to anchor me to the floor, but I tore my eyes away and forced myself to follow my father down the hall. This book's true home is on another platform.

Check it out there for the real experience. The kitchen was a relic: avocado-green appliances, linoleum floors, and a rotary phone on the wall with a comically gigantic cord. My mother, Sue Tillman, was at the stove. She looked like a teenage girl, her hair feathered back in that Farrah Fawcett style. Watching them operate was like watching a training simulation I had passed twenty years ago. They were exhausted, winging it, completely overwhelmed by the chaos of three boys under four.

She smiled when she saw the invasion force, but the bags under her eyes betrayed a bone-deep fatigue I understood all too well.

"Hungry," Chase announced, climbing onto his booster seat. Dad deposited Nick into the high chair and snapped open the San Diego Union. I leaned forward, resting my chin on the edge of the table, and read the headline upside down: CARTER TO CANCEL ENERGY ADDRESS. Thursday, July 5, 1979. The date locked into place in my head. I was three months away from my fourth birthday.

"Can I draw?" I asked. Doug lowered the paper.

"Sure thing, pal." He slid a box of crayons and a placemat toward me. Chase immediately lunged for the box.

"Mine," he grunted. I scuffed my feet twice on the carpet beneath the table, building up the charge, and reached out to tap his arm. SNAP. A blue spark jumped.

"OW!" Chase shrieked, snatching his hand back.

"Static, boys," Mom said without turning around.

"Chad, stop shuffling your feet."

"Share," I said, sliding a red crayon toward him. I kept the yellow one. I needed to communicate, but I had to keep it simple. I gripped the wax stick in my fist and drew a bar graph. Three bars. Ascending. At the top, a dollar sign.

"Gold," I said, pointing at the yellow crayon. Doug looked over his coffee cup.

"What's that, Chad?"

"Buy gold," I said. I tried to sound authoritative, but it came out sounding like a nursery rhyme.

"Gold goes up." Doug laughed, a rich, warm sound, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You hear that, Sue? Chad's giving financial advice. Maybe he's been listening to Phil too much." The name made my stomach tighten. Phil Jauregui. My dad was building a life for three boys on a foundation of sand. I looked at my father's face. The lines around his eyes were deep for a man in his thirties. He looked desperate. He looked like a man waiting for a sign.

"Maybe he just likes shiny things," Sue said, dropping a stack of pancakes onto the table. I sat back and observed Nick. My only reference for him at this age was a handful of faded Polaroids tucked into my mother's dusty photo albums. The flat, glossy pictures hadn't captured the brutal reality of it. Seeing it in three dimensions was horrifying. His head was too thin, his arms were fragile twigs, and I could see his ribs expanding sharply against his pale skin with every piercing scream.

The clinical data point was Failure to Thrive. Seeing it in person was a tragedy. Dad offered the bottle. Nick went rigid, arching his back into a tortured "C" shape. Pain. He was terrified of the food. I looked at the canister on the counter: Enfamil. Cow's milk. Casein. The data clicked into place. The emaciation. The eczema. The protein was shredding his gut lining.

"He just won't settle," Dad said, sounding defeated.

"Every meal is a war." I gripped my fork. As an experienced parent, I knew treating malnutrition with sugar water was a compounding error. As a data analyst, I knew it was entirely up to me to rewrite the formula. [11: 00 AM | Safeway Grocery Store] Mom pushed the cart with the wobbly wheel. It jerked to the left every three feet. While she wrestled a box of sugary animal crackers away from Chase, I calculated my next move. The cart was already loaded.

Buried under a bag of russet potatoes and a tower of diapers sat the problem: three cans of Neo-Mull-Soy. To a 1979 parent, the soy formulas were identical. To my adult memory, Neo-Mull-Soywas a statistical disaster. To the right sat the correct variable: Isomil.

"No, Chase! Put it back!" Mom shouted, diving to stop Chase from pulling a pyramid of Campbell's Soup cans down onto himself. This was my window. I reached into the cart. The Neo-Mull-Soy cans were dense steel, heavy for my tiny arms. I couldn't lift them out easily without making noise. I had to improvise. I shoved them deep into the corner of the cart, burying them completely under the massive 20-pound bag of Dog Chow. Out of sight, out of mind. I turned to the shelf. The Isomil tin was heavier than I remembered.

I used both hands, gritting my teeth, dragging it off the metal lip. Scritch. The sound was too loud. Mom whipped her head around, hair flying.

"Chad, honey, what are you doing?" I froze, the can clutched against my chest like an oversized football. I had to sell this. I widened my eyes and pointed at the green label.

"Shiny," I said, putting on my best vacuous toddler face.

"Baby juice." Mom sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead. She glanced at the can, then at the cart, then back to Chase who was now trying to eat the price tag off a shelf. She was too tired to argue with a helpful child.

"Fine. Whatever. Just put it in the cart, Chad. Gently." I dropped the Isomil in next to the milk. Clang. The swap worked. At the checkout, the deception held. The cashier, a teenager popping gum, didn't care about brands. She just saw "Formula." Beep. Beep. Beep. Mom was busy counting coupons and bribing Chase with a lollipop. She paid for the cure with her own money, completely unaware she was saving her son's life. We walked out into the blinding parking lot sun.

I sat in the backseat, feet kicking against the vinyl, smiling. The variables were corrected. Now I just had to implement them. [2: 00 AM | The Tillman Residence] The house was dark. Nick writhed in the crib, whimpering. I slid off my mattress, my feet still damp and itchy inside the sleeper. I navigated the hallway, consciously shuffling my feet to build up static tension. I entered the kitchen. It was pitch black. I reached for the fridge door. SNAP. The discharge was a sharp crack. It stung, but I ignored it.

I opened the door and grabbed the handle of the prepared Enfamil pitcher. It was shockingly heavy, at least three pounds of liquid. I had to use both hands, wrapping my stubby arms around the frosted plastic to keep from dropping it. I waddled backward out of the kitchen, my bare heels sinking into the carpet, carrying the toxic payload down the hall to the bathroom. I rested the pitcher on the low lip of the porcelain bathtub, gasping for breath. I tipped it forward.

The thick, pale liquid cascaded down the drain with a heavy glug, glug, glugthat echoed too loudly against the tiles. I turned the cold water knob just enough to wash away the white residue, then left the empty pitcher in the tub. Let them think I was sleepwalking. Now for personal comfort. I dragged a heavy wooden chair to the junk drawer, climbed up, and rummaged until my fingers brushed cold metal. The kitchen shears. They were massive in my hands, designed for cutting poultry, not polyester.

I sat on the counter and pulled my left leg up. I tried to snip the toe, but my grip strength was pathetic. The blades chewed at the fabric, twisting it. I groaned in frustration, repositioning the shears. I had to use both hands on the handles, leveraging my entire upper body weight to hack at the thick seam. Crunch. Rip. It was ugly surgery, but the footie finally fell away. I managed the right leg next. The cool night air hit my damp, sweaty skin. It was an immense relief.

I grabbed the can of Isomil I'd hidden in the pantry. It was powder. I pried the plastic lid off with my teeth. My small hands shook as I tried to measure the scoops into a fresh bottle of water. White dust puffed into the air, coating my fingers and settling all over the counter. I screwed the nipple ring on, my clumsy fingers slipping twice before the threads finally caught. I walked back into the bedroom, my bare feet silent on the carpet. I reached through the bars of the crib.

"Here you go, buddy," I whispered. Nick latched on. No arching. No screaming. He drank, swallowed, and paused. No pain. I stood there for twenty minutes, my arms aching as I held the heavy bottle until he finally fell into a deep, peaceful sleep. The sun was up when Sue and Doug scrambled into the room, terrified by the silence. I sat on the floor, building a tower out of wooden blocks. They rushed to the crib. Nick was snoring softly.

"He's... he's asleep," Sue whispered. She saw the empty bottle on the nightstand. Then she looked down at me.

"Chad? Your feet!" Doug turned, taking in the jagged, butchered ruins of my pajamas. Threads hung loose where I had hacked the feet off.

"Did you... did you cut your pajamas?"

"Feet hot," I stated, knocking my block tower over. Crash.

"Cut 'em off." Sue ran to the kitchen.

"Doug! The milk pitcher is empty! And there's powder all over the counter!" Doug loomed over me.

"You fed the baby?"

"Nick was hungry." Doug looked at the sleeping baby—peaceful for the first time in months. Then he looked at my bare feet. It was a brutal, straightforward logic he couldn't ignore. The baby was sick; change the food. The feet were hot; remove the feet.

"Well," Doug said slowly, "I'm going to the store. To buy a case of this formula. And maybe some shorts for Chad." He turned to leave, grabbing his briefcase. He paused, seeing the drawing I had made the day before—the crude bar graph with the dollar sign. He looked at the stack of "Second Notice" bills magnetized to the side of a filing cabinet. Then he looked at the baby whose health had improved overnight. Doug swallowed hard.

He picked up the drawing and slid it carefully into his file marked COASTAL EQUITIES - PENDING.

"I'm going to stop by the office after the store," he said. His voice was suddenly focused.

"I need to show Phil something. I think... I think we might be looking at the market all wrong." He looked at me one last time, a mixture of pride and superstition on his face.

"Gold goes up," he whispered to himself. He walked out. I went back to my blocks. One variable solved. Dozens left to go.