Chương 22: Lost Memories

Chadwick was sitting on the cart as normal. With the big difference that the world around him was dark. He could see extremely well in the dark, but he still couldn't see very far because he was surrounded by stone pillars that completely blocked out the view in all directions. It was like being in a thick forest, but the trees had been replaced with stone monoliths that went so high he couldn't see the tops. He stood up and had a good look around, "hello? Mage?"

There was no response and his magic sight wasn't turning up much of anything. The surrounding pillars were just regular stone and the bare floor was exactly the same gray color as the stones. The floor itself almost looked like finely ground stone dust. It wouldn't be the first time Chadwick had walked straight into some kind of test. Every mage took their own approach to students. Many believed in 'weeding out' those that weren't dedicated. Giving challenges to overcome.

Several of them had been very put off when Chadwick interrupted the big spectacle they had planned and their opening 'I will only teach those who are worthy, fetch the scales of a nether beast!' speech to explain that he wasn't in fact a student, and could we please skip the dramatic test. Try a cookie, they're warm. Chadwick's immediate assumption was that this was another mage with a test that he would have to pass. But this was also the first time there had been no mage in sight when he arrived.

This book had also been one of the oldest looking. He was down to the final ten books now. Some concern was creeping in. He had spent a long time in the prior book, number 11, in the final countdown towards being finished with this task. The mage from that book had actually been a part of a team that was trying to solve the wraith curse. Chadwick had spent a long time with him running through the various ideas that might work.

Some of Chadwick's ideas had already been tried, some he wasn't sure would work but thought they were worth researching and provided Chadwick some likely books to try and find. The mage had also been genuinely interested in Chadwick's research and was a willing partner to bounce ideas off. Add that to the incredible snow-covered mountains from his home village and Chadwick spent a long time in that book. He truly enjoyed his time and spent several years just fishing the icy mountain streams of the man's memories.

This wasn't particularly in alignment with the overall goal of Chadwick's task, but he found himself struggling a little to stay motivated and felt he had deserved a break. Chadwick sat on the cart and listened intently, hoping to get some indication of anyone else being present. He was slightly worried that the good fortune that he had found in the previous book was being balanced out by a book that was utterly useless to him.

After several minutes of nothing happening, Chadwick hopped off the cart and started walking around the various stone pillars. All he could see was more pillars and stone dust on the ground. He never went more than one pillar deep into the stone forest, as losing sight of the cart even for a second was slightly alarming. Everything around him looked totally identical and it would be very easy to get lost. It was also utterly silent.

The fine powdery floor muffled his footsteps, so Chadwick could only hear his breathing — which was suddenly very noticeable because of the lack of any other noise. It was unnerving to hear such true silence. After an hour of alternating calling out and looking for any clues to a possible task, Chadwick was forced to conclude there was nothing there. He left the book and was a bit shocked. He went from the eerily silent book, to the Dean practically yelling in his ear.

The Dean was gesturing wildly at the book in Chadwick's hands. Which had just turned to dust and fell through his fingers.

"Are you alright lad?!" Asked the Dean loudly. Chadwick held his hands up to the Dean, like he was trying to stop a horse who was charging towards him, "I'm fine. What happened to the book? Why are you shouting?"

"Because as soon as you went into that book, it started to fall apart. You were also gone for almost a minute. I've been trying to get you out," said the Dean, lowering his voice.

"Wow," said Chadwick, taking it all in, "it should have been one of the shortest from your perspective. I was only there for about an hour. There was no mage to be seen. What do you think happened?" The Dean looked down at the dust on the carriage floor and shuddered, "perhaps it was just a bit too old… be cautious with the next one please? The rest don't seem in great condition." Chadwick nodded, "If anything seems off, I will leave immediately."

An old man in excessively fancy mage robes was running towards the cart and frantically waving his arms. Chadwick stood up in the cart to look around for any possible danger. Nothing was around except the mage and a small log cabin.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, bringing that level of power here?!" Demanded the mage. Chadwick was taken aback, "…huh? What do you mean?" He looked around the cart to see if he had inadvertently brought along some powerful enchanted items. Nothing he wasn't expecting was present.

"Not the cart, boy. You!" The mage snapped. Chadwick was taken aback.

"I don't understand." The mage just looked disgusted for a moment but then looked Chadwick up and down, "why are you so small?" He just looked slightly confused now.

"I mean, age? I certainly hope I'm only this small because I'm young. I'd hate to think this is as tall as I'm getting. Look, I'm here to ask for help, you are the first mage in a memory book to seemingly not be expecting a student though," said Chadwick.

"Of course I was expecting a student. It's just that you very clearly aren't one. Even if you are the right age to be one. Perhaps even too young," the mage said. He paused for a moment, then looked a little alarmed, "did you say other memory books?" Chadwick was getting a little annoyed by all this, "yes. I am hunting for an answer to the wraiths and the memory books are the best source of knowledge we have left. The tower's library has been wiped clean of anything useful."

The old mage still looked alarmed, "leaving aside the comments about the library for a moment, does the Chief Mage know you are doing this?" Chadwick scratched his head a bit awkwardly, "actually the Chief Mage is recently deceased. I suppose the Dean took over from him, and the Dean certainly knows what I am doing. He's the one that handed me this book." The old mage sighed, "your story is perhaps starting to make a bit more sense. I suppose the Chief Mage was never able to start training a successor.

He must have died young?" Chadwick shook his head, "definitely not. He was somewhere in his 80's I believe. You are right about no successor, he never had one." The mage looked shocked, "but that's the whole bloody point of the Chief Mage! I specifically set up the damn system so that there were always two people that knew everything that was needed!" Chadwick just shrugged. The old man stared in amazement for a bit longer, then deflated, "I think you need to tell me the story from the start."

He pulled a few chairs out from nowhere and sat down, indicating Chadwick should join him.

"From the beginning please. I need to know how someone who should be barely old enough to join the tower has ended up traipsing through memory books," said the mage. Chadwick took a seat, "this all started because of some ink…" The Dean watched the book in Chadwick's hands carefully. It had only been about 30 seconds, but it was starting to show some small cracks that had flickering bright lights inside them. Like seeing a vase come apart at the seams while a fire raged inside it.

He knew there was something wrong, but Chadwick was totally unresponsive. His earlier attempts to wake him doing little more than jostling the book in his hands. He certainly didn't want to risk removing the book from Chadwick's hands, so he quickly stopped. This was much the same as he had been in the previous book, before it fell apart. There was little he could do but hope for the best.

The old mage, who turned out to be Chief Mage Allistor Doon, actually let out a laugh at Chadwick's description of his extensive planning to kill the Chief Mage, only to find him dead. He, perhaps oddly, didn't seem the least bit concerned that Chadwick had been planning to commit murder. Nor that he was going to kill the very head of the tower that was in the same position as Allistor himself had held. He just considered it a perfectly sensible choice.

Allistor mostly listened patiently, only asking questions when he felt Chadwick's storytelling might have left something unexplained. By the time Chadwick had finished the story, Allistor gave a large sigh. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

"Boy, your heart was in the right place. But all you have done is create a bigger problem for yourself with the wraiths," Allistor said.

"There's a very good chance I can find a solution. All those mages I have talked to and the research I have done. I doubt anyone ever living had a greater knowledge of this subject…," Chadwick trailed off as Allistor shook his head.

"I'm not talking about breaking the Siyene curse, my boy. Something your Chief Mage should have known and passed on to his successor is that wraiths come regardless of the curse," said Allistor. Chadwick just stared at him with his jaw open. He wasn't entirely sure how many years he had spent in memory books, having decided fairly early on that he wouldn't try and keep track as a mental trick to not worry so much about how long it was taking.

Nevertheless, was certain he would have died of old age by now if that time had passed normally. Making him older, at least in terms of magical growth, than the Chief Mage who had just been killed. Far more than a lifetime spent researching, discussing theories with past mages, going over the things they had tried in great detail and perfecting his enchanting. Also a lot of fishing and relaxing to make the process not take too great a toll on his mind — that part certainly wasn't so bad.

And this man just told him it was all a waste of time.

"They come regardless… I'm going to need a thorough explanation of that statement," said Chadwick.

"I wouldn't have had to explain it if the recently deceased Chief Mage did his job, but fine. Wraiths had actually been a problem well before the Siyene curse. Though it was a problem that only afflicted the very strongest. At a certain point in a mage's power, his sheer weight upon the world started to push against the membrane that separates us from the world of raw magic, weakening it and causing wraiths to slip through. At least, that was the most popular theory," said Allistor.

He continued, "what the Siyene curse did was combine the total weight of all mages and apply that to the kingdom as a whole. Weakening the membrane for the whole kingdom. It was spread across a larger area, so it still takes quite a bit of weight to achieve anything. Nevertheless, it was noticeable. Lifting the curse would still make it easier on everybody, because the kingdom could go back to having lots of low weight mages in the kingdom.

Something you can't do right now without the combined weight triggering the natural process early. It doesn't really solve anything for the more powerful mages though, they will naturally start to summon wraiths around them anywhere they go. It doesn't solve anything for you."

"Are you saying that I'm already across the threshold to summon wraiths. Even without the curse?" Asked Chadwick.

"Yes. I could tell from the moment you stepped into my book that you were too heavy for this world. The books are intrinsically linked to the membrane that separates the world from raw magic, using my original strength as an anchor. Any weight placed upon that is very evident," answered Allistor. Something niggled at Chadwick, "wait, so we had to send lots of mages out of the kingdom because of the curse. But those mages would have ended up causing wraiths wherever they went anyway?

At least if they got old enough?"

"Not exactly. Age is a strong factor in a mage's weight. But it is not the only one. Practice with your affinity, knowledge, how early your affinity first manifested. A lot of these things can contribute. Gaining a greater understanding of your affinity has been shown to increase the weight of it. Some also just start with a bigger pool of magic within them. Some mages will never live long enough to hit that threshold of wraiths appearing.

Many of those we sent away would have died peacefully, never seeing a wraith, we were just being cautious" said Allistor.

"What happens to those mages that do hit the threshold?" Asked Chadwick, looking worried about the answer, even as he asked the question.

"I've only experienced two outcomes. They find a way to leave this realm entirely. Or they die to the wraiths. The latter tends to be the most common, since they were usually very old anyway and had lost any fighting edge," said Allistor.

"Leave this realm?" Queried Chadwick.

"Keep in mind that I hadn't personally experienced what I'm about to describe to you, at least not at the time this book recorded my memories. The threshold comes with a greater sense of magic as a whole and, apparently, a desire to cross to where the magic is stronger. The realm the wraiths come from. I expect you will experience this for yourself soon.

Judging from your story, I suspect you hit the threshold while in a memory book and haven't spent enough time in the real world yet to experience this phenomena," responded Allistor.

"How do the practicalities of that actually work? You said 'leave', but how?" Asked Chadwick. Allistor gave a slightly annoyed sigh, "that's the worst bit, I don't know. It seems to be different for each affinity. I don't actually know if I ended up succeeding in finding a way myself. Or if I died to wraiths. I was starting to get strong enough that I was researching what others before me had done.

The information was inconsistent and relies on assuming that a mage succeeded if the rest of us that are still here don't find a body. Some mages built structures and never came back out of them. One dove into the ocean and never resurfaced. Another just walked into his room in the tower and never came out. One was even convinced that his solution was inside a cave where a bear was hibernating. Nobody ever went in after him to see if he succeeded."

"So, you have a lot of third-hand accounts. Many of which are potentially dead ends, so you can't prove if they worked one way or the other. For all you know, the only real answer was the ocean. Or the bear cave. And the rest were the mage creating something elaborate and just dying somewhere hidden," mused Chadwick.

"Exactly. Based on the reading I've done. I'm inclined to say that most of those are actually true stories of people leaving this realm and that it comes down to the type of affinity. All those who built a structure had affinities suited to such behavior. The man who stepped into his room and vanished was a spatial mage," added Allistor.

"None ever found a solution and reported what it was before they left?" asked Chadwick.

"No. I suspect that finding the answer and leaving go hand in hand. There is no going back once you open the door — you have to step through. It's why so many mages were interested in leaving memory books, since there was a very good possibility that the moment you found your personal answer on how to leave, there would be no chance to pass anything on to anyone. It made for a nice legacy that each mage could leave," said Allistor.

After countless years spent researching and trying to untangle a problem no one else had managed to solve. Chadwick had trained himself to never go past a question. If he didn't understand something, he found the answer or made sure it was on a list to ask the mage in the next memory book. And something in what the man had said was niggling at him. A stone he could not leave unturned.

"You said the memory books use your strength as an anchor. And that my presence was a strain here," said Chadwick, looking worried as he continued, "what happens if I go into a memory book left by a mage that was substantially weaker than you?"

"You destroy it," said Allistor simply. He paused after seeing Chadwick's horrified face, "a shame about the lost knowledge. I'd be very interested to hear about that. We will have at least gained some knowledge that way." Chadwick sighed, "the book right before yours. I stepped in as normal and it seemed utterly lifeless. It was just large stone pillars and dust on the floor that looked like it was made from those same stones. No sound except what I made. No light sources — thankfully I can see in the dark.

After around an hour I gave up and left." Allistor seemed very intrigued, "and what happened with the physical book? And did the time dilation get affected at all?"

"The book itself started to fall apart as soon as I entered, according to those outside. And the time dilation was still somewhat present, but was far less effective. The one hour I spent there took a full minute outside the book. Hard to say if it was a flat rate of dilation the whole time. Or if it was gradually getting less effective while I was in there," answered Chadwick.

"I imagine it was the latter. As the physical structure of the book fell apart, the dilation became less effective. The dilation is largely part of the physical enchantments on the book. I'd say it's a very good thing you left that book when you did. Did the book completely disintegrate? Any lights or flames?" Allistor followed up.

"Right down to powder, no lights or flames," answered Chadwick.

"Based on my understanding, that means he was a weaker mage and when you first arrived it completely overwhelmed his memories, erasing them. All that was left was the physical structure of the book — which began to rapidly fall apart once the mage anchoring it was gone. If the mage even partially stayed, the book would have displayed flames or lights as your energy gradually overwhelmed his. That clash should have caused some manifestation," said Allistor. As depressing as some of this subject matter was.

Allistor seemed to genuinely enjoy being a teacher and passing on his knowledge. Actually fulfilling the original purpose of the memory books, even if not in the way he expected. Chadwick was just sitting and stuck in his own thoughts. He was hung up on the fact that he had erased that mage's memories from existence through his actions. It wasn't exactly murder, but it was a tough distinction after he had spent far more of his life with those same memories than he had in the real world.

While Chadwick had become quite pragmatically bloodthirsty towards his enemies over the years he had experienced, he did not want to be responsible for the death of any innocents. Allistor saw this weighing down on him, "speaking as a memory book myself, lad, it's a bit of a shame, but hardly as bad as you think. No worse than destroying a unique written book. There was value in the knowledge contained, but no true life. As real as it might all seem," he added, indicating the world around him.

"Though I suppose destroying any book is a sin for a scribe. You add knowledge to the world. Not take it away. Violates the very purpose of a scribe."

"A scribe? I suppose I never thought of myself that way. My father was the scribe and I was just handy with a quill," Chadwick said introspectively.

"Perhaps that is not your purpose, boy. You have had something driving you to live through what you have so far. Perhaps give it some thought as you only have until you leave this book to sort out what is most important to you and have your answer for the wraiths ready. This is the last book you can step into," said Allistor. Chadwick nodded his agreement. Allistor seemed convinced that he was one of the strongest mages to be in a memory book.

If Chadwick stepped into any other books and they contained memories from weaker mages, he would just be erasing them. The odds were definitely not in his favor of him finding more books he could enter. It was not a risk he was willing to take.

"Agreed. This is my last chance to learn and sort out a plan with this new information you have given me. I still want to solve the wraiths for the kingdom," stated Chadwick.

"A good goal boy, something I will do my best to support you in, for as long as we can manage. Before your power grows too strong for you to be here," said Allistor.

"How long do you think we have?" Asked Chadwick?

"Not something I have any data to compare to. Bit of a unique situation. I can feel the strain of your weight, but it's not unmanageable. Perhaps a few years? I will get a better idea as time passes," Answered Allistor.

"I hope it's enough," said Chadwick then grabbed his notebook from the cart, "tell me, how many books have you read that aren't on this list?"