Chương 66: Chapter 143: Clinging Falsehoods

Well… that was a lot of screaming. Will thought, staring into the sky as the wagon bounced and rattled underneath him. Will had heard stories about mind-control when he was living in the orphanage. About Cleophas, an ancient hero with a Charm archetype, who reformed the minds of a population of ignorant savages, making them into upright citizens of his new Stronghold, creating a wonderful utopia. The Stronghold no longer existed, but the descendants of those savages had long-since integrated into the outer ring.

And wouldn't you know it, every single one of them could trace their ancestry back to Cleophas. How did that happen, I wonder? Will had never put those disparate facts together until now. Will remembered talking with the other boys about all the cool things he was going to do to people when he had mind-control powers. He remembered Muse scowling at the group of pre-teens with an expression of pure disgust and walking away.

And not a playful disgust, but the expression someone had when they tracked something bad into the house, and went back outside to wipe it off. Will hadn't really understood why Muse had given them that look until today. Jasper was a talented manipulator who had skillfully hollowed out a space in Amanda's mind for himself as her 'best friend in the world'. Unfortunately for everyone involved, that did not go away the moment that he died.

The damage to her mind was years old and reinforced daily, like a mine shaft dug into her brain and held open with wooden struts. Amanda Akul truly believed that Will had killed her best friend in the world, who she loved like family… right in front of her. At her husband's request. The first thing a mind-controller with any sense would do is make sure their victim was incapable of thinking critically of them. That didn't go away with Jasper's death either.

Will had presented evidence that Jasper had been objectively fiddling around with her mind. Will had FELT Charge jump from Jasper's fingertip to her temple like a static shock. He had heard the psychic drone in Jasper's voice and seen the glazed look she had while he spoke. Will also had indirect evidence, like the strange willingness to spare Jasper and the other Tangled handlers. The subtle disconnect between the policies she'd been putting forward and their actual best interests. … The evil goatee.

None of that mattered, because Will was the monster that had killed her best friend, the support that kept her from complete emotional collapse, the ONE person who had shown kindness to her while she was a political hostage. From that perspective, it was understandable why she had immediately tried to kill Will. He didn't hold that against her. It was her enthusiastic defense of that monster, repeated over and over again, shredding her throat while tears spilled down her cheeks that bothered Will.

It made him second guess himself. Second guess what he'd seen. Even knowing exactly what had been done to Amanda, her zealous defense of her 'friend' made Will ask himself stupid questions. What if he actually was just using a soothing Charm technique to calm her down? Total horse-shit, but repeat it often enough, and it seemed to find cracks in his mind and worm its way in like an infestation. Second-hand mind-control. It gave Will a slimy feeling.

And the venom she had in her expression and words even after Will, Loth and Mark had subdued her… It stung. One bright note of the horrible debacle, was that Travis Oilton, freshly recovered from his 'food poisoning', took one look at Mark Wyrd's devastated Stronghold and marital bliss, and declared that he didn't feel like revenge anymore. Good for him.

Thankfully the caravan was spared from the collateral damage, and they had managed to get out of there moments before the flaming bag of shit that was that situation exploded.

"Can I sit here?" Anna asked, standing beside him on the wagon.

"You already are," Will said, pointing up at the Anna whose lap he was laying in.

"Which one was it?" She asked, crossing her legs and sitting beside him.

"Which one was what?"

"The handler you killed."

"Jasper." Drip. Will felt a drop of warm salt water land on his forehead.

"He was their leader. The most powerful mind-controller the handlers had, reserved for their toughest cases." Anna said. Will understood without another word. Brianna had to have been one of their toughest cases due to her Ring of Absolute Freedom. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. He would've 'worked' on her personally.

"Did I do the right thing?" Will asked, glancing past Anna at Jean, who watched them from the corner of her eye.

"Was I right?" or did I kill an innocent man?

"Jean is sharing some of it with us." Anna said quietly.

"…We have two sets of memories from that time. One set of memories where Jasper was everything to me. My best friend, my father, my brother, the love of my life, somehow blending together with a dreamlike sort of nonsense-logic. Strange as it is…those memories feel real, even now." Will's brows climbed, but he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Reflexive quips seemed wildly inappropriate.

"I can't stop feeling sad that he's gone, and some small, weak part of me wants to hurt you for hurting him." Anna said. The Anna whose lap he was in extended shiny black claws from her hand, tracing them along Will's neck. Will held his breath.

"But…those memories have tiny seams and little cracks. The memories are paper-thin, and if I put my mind's eye up to those cracks, I catch glimpses of…awful things behind them. The second set of memories." Anna said, staring into the distance as the claws against his neck retracted.

"The weak part of me wants revenge on you for killing him…" Anna glanced at Jean in the distance, where her main body kept herself busy.

"But the strong part of me knows that fucker needed to die." Jean nodded to herself, expression stony. Will let out a sigh of relief before a thought occurred to him.

"Is Amanda going to get better? Like you?" Will asked. Anna sighed, brushing a strand of blonde hair from her face as she studied the jungle around them, seemingly unable to look directly at him.

"…I don't know." Anna finally said.

"I was only there for a month, and the methods he used must've been different. I was a disposable experiment, and Amanda was a valuable hostage. He had all the time in the world to work on her, too. He would've been much more careful. More subtle. Wouldn't have done anything awful to her that left cracks in the façade…Which is good and bad."

"Without those awful things hiding behind the cracks in my memories…I don't know if I would be able to scour away these clinging falsehoods, contradictory as they are." She glanced down at him.

"It's possible that Amanda Akul will forever think of you as the man who killed her best friend, no matter how much logic is applied. Logic can only get you so far when your mind is lying to you. She might even kill herself…if he had made himself the sole pillar of her world."

"Damnit." Will muttered. Ruining people's lives and being hated forever wasn't exactly how he saw things playing out.

"But you did do the right thing." The Anna above him said, squishing his cheeks between her hands as she peered down at him.

"The man was a disease. You understand me?" She asked, peering directly into Will's eye.

"He would've continued spreading." Will nodded.

"He did have an evil goatee. I was doing the world a favor." Anna gave a choked laugh and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Very true." The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Despite being on high alert for an angry Amanda Akul flying in from above and dropping devastating nuker Abilities on them, no such attacks manifested. Didn't mean Will slept, though. He'd slept plenty on the roof of the wagon. Night time was Will's opportunity to stretch his legs, be alone and review his thoughts. He'd never really thought in great detail about mind control before. He'd honestly thought it was pretty cool up until about eight hours ago…

But seeing it in real life… The insidious way that Charm archetypes undermined their victim's mind… the way they made their targets so reliant on their control that the mere absence of their influence was crippling. The way she screamed like her soul was being torn out of her body. Like her father had been killed in front of her. … What if you were wrong? Will punched a massive jungle tree, his fist crunching into the wood and pressing water and pulp around his knuckles. That stupid question keeps rearing its head.

He knew he was right. He knew it. Anna had confirmed his conclusion. Given him the words that absolved him of guilt. And still… This would've been so much easier if Amanda said something like 'my hero' and heaved a sigh of relief, finally free of the evil sorcerer's grasp. … but it doesn't work like that. Will was mad at himself for hurting the daughter of the Akul family that he'd come to know on the 5 th Floor. The daughter of the man who'd given his life to give her a chance.

It felt like he was spitting on the Baron's sacrifice. But mostly he was mad at the shit-heels who had hollowed out a bright young woman's mind for their own benefit, leaving a scar so deep that she might never recover. The ones who had hurt Brianna. Who Will had sent her to when he let her go on without them. In that moment, Will had decided that quick and painless was the most efficient way of dispatching Jasper. A Charm Archetype was dangerous if given the opportunity to open their mouth.

But now Will wished this bastard was still alive. At least long enough to make him suffer some fraction of what he'd done to others. A quick and painless death was too good for him. No. That's not it. The anger was buried deeper. Will wished he had his current strength six months ago. Wished he could've followed Brianna up to this Floor and burnt the Stronghold down before she even laid eyes on it.

There was a future where Brianna was a happy, well-adjusted baker tackling life as a young Climber that no one would never see. That future got torn to shreds. And he let her go to it. CRACK! Will punched the tree with his left hand, momentarily forgetting its relative weakness. A burst of pain yanked Will out of his sullen musings as some little bone in his left hand fractured. The throbbing pain seemed to reel his emotions back in, tugging him back to rationality.

I know, logically, that there were no good choices. I know that she escaped because of the ring I gave her. Logically, this is a 'good' outcome. Logic can only get you so far, because it sure doesn't feel like a 'good' outcome. Will heaved a deep breath and prodded the bone in his hand with his thumb, wincing at the pain that momentarily whited out the guilt and remorse, allowing him to think.

You're letting the guilt of letting Brianna go mix together with the guilt from destroying Amanda's world, building into something bigger than it is. None of it was your fault. You weren't the one doing these things to these women… … You just let it happen. Will punched the tree with his left hand again. And again. Will ferally punched the tree with his weak, human hand for several minutes, wishing he could savagely tear someone's throat out… but no one responsible for all this horrible shit was still alive.

Except Will. I'm not responsible, you stupid- Will paused, pulling his bloodied hand away from the tree trunk. He took a deep breath and ran through his Memory Key. Muse in the window. Nail through foot. Sick soup. Choking on stolen peanut butter. Loth joining the Party … Nothing. This is real. I'm really feeling this. Will thought sourly, glancing down at his shattered left hand. Will sent the wound in his left hand off to one of his Phantom Snakes to heal. Nothing happened. The hand remained broken and throbbing.

Figures. Will thought sourly, taking a deep breath against the roiling feelings inside. Taking a moment to organize them and lay them out. I can use this. I need a bad memory for the Memory Key. Will put his back to the blood-spattered tree and leaned against it, closing his eyes as he began crystalizing another memory, adding it to the chain. Muse in the window. Nail through foot. Sick soup. Choking on stolen peanut butter. Loth joining the Party … Letting Brianna go.