Chương 93: Deed-93: 8-16

{2001 A. Y. Yokai Realm inside Naimisha Kingdom's Palace} [Next day morning Vidhur gives his report in the courtroom to all] [After a few weeks Master Ojas returns and gives his report too and informs that all his troops are now worthy enough to become part of the Naimisha army] [Even after 45 months Commander Ban never returned, as he was perfecting his troops as he was ordered to, Ban and Lord Ram shared letter for 45 months continuously and were getting information and report via the letters but Ban never left his post and didn't return as Ban wasn't satisfied by his troops] [Few days later] {November 2002 A. Y. Yokai Realm inside Naimisha Kingdom's Palace} [7 weeks before giving birth to Ram's children] (Note: All the yokai are born on Jan-1st in yokai realm, after spending more than 3 years in their mother's womb) [Inside Sunshine's room (8: 00 p. m.)] [Lord Ram was sleeping on Sunshine's bed with Sunshine and Candy in the middle] [Candy was sleeping] [Sunshine curiously in a romantic tone] Sunshine: Dear, I wanted to ask this from a long time! Ram: Oh, really, What?

Feel free to ask me anything, dear! Sunshine: I have observed that you aren't chanting Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA's namas as frequently as you used to... [Ram with a bit of hesitation and embarrassment] Ram: True, even I have noticed it! Don't worry I will again start doing my upasanas! [Sunshine with a bit of hesitation and curiousity] Sunshine: My Dear, where did it all started! People don't start doing Bhagwan Namasmarnas from birth, unless they are Mahatmas!

Sunshine: When did you start calling out Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA's namas and how did it all happened, dear? Sunshine: Please tell me about your past, dear... [Ram smiles and starts whispering in Sunshine's ears] Ram: When I was 8, I asked my Sri Gurudev that I wanted to talk with Devatas and Bhagwan... [Sunshine with complete curiosity and attention listens to Ram] Ram: My Gurudev told me to do Japam, Dhyanam and Tapas. Along with my Sri Gurudev's seva I did Japam, Dhyanam and Tapas for hours and hours...

Ram: Due to my Sri Gurudev's blessing on me, after 6 months Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA started talking with me! I got bliss every time I talked with Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA!!! Ram: It wasn't my achievement! It was my Sri Gurudev's blessing on me which made Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA to talk with me! Generally, Bhagwan and Devatas don't talk to humans that easily, until and unless they have great amount of Tapas Shakthi!!!

Ram: But as I had My Sri Gurudev's Anugraham on me, I got the greatest opportunity in the universe!!! That's to talk with Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA!!! Ram: Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA started talking to me every time I called him. As soon as My Sri Gurudev goes into Dhyana Stithi I used to go and talk with Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA for hours and hours until my Sri Gurudev does Dhyanam!

Ram: NARAYANA and I used to talk for hours and NARAYANA used to tell me what the right path was and what's the right thing to do in any given situation! He used to guide me every minute and made me walk on the path of Dharma! Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Ram: By calling out Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA namas again and again while talking with him, I used to get my Tapas Shakthi increased and I used to get the bliss by talking and listening to NARAYANA!!! [Sunshine got more curious and was listening with complete curiosity] Ram: Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA guided and talked with me for 8 years straight! Those are the years which I would consider reliving on loop!!!! [Ram sighs out of a bit discomfort] Ram: Hmm, when I was 16...

Ram: One day, Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA told me not to do a certain thing, but out of anger and rage I did the thing which I was told not to do! Ram: Please don't ask me what I did that day... [Sunshine nods her head and kisses Ram's forehead and comforts Ram] [Ram with a bit sadness] Ram: I knew how the future would be, yet I chose to do that one thing which I must not have done and due to those actions of mine, my Sri Gurudev got angry with me and cursed me!

[Sunshine got surprised] Ram: My Sri Gurudev cursed me because I did something which I was prohibited to do, I didn't listen to Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA's words, I knew how the future would be if I would do that! Yet I chose to do it! Ram: Hence, My Sri Gurudev cursed me by saying that, Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA won't guide me or talk to me again until I am at a point of giving up on my life! As I disobeyed Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA!!!

Ram: I was sad but not greatly, later Sri Gurudev ordered me to never show him my face again!!! It was the saddest thing which could ever happen to me in the universe!!! Ram: The thought of separation from my Sri Gurudev makes me fall into an abyss of despair and depression! [Ram with a sad and smiling face] Ram: I cried for hours asking for forgiveness!!! My Sri Gurudev's love towards Devatas and Bhagwan was much greater and higher! He didn't forgive me for my actions! He was persistent about leaving my side!!!

Ram: Out of sadness and love towards my Sri Gurudev, I asked him can I have the right to do Prayopavesam as he is leaving me! My Sri Gurudev forbidden me to do so! Hence, I had to continue living!!! Ram: My Sri Gurudev left me on my own as I acted on my own! I didn't have the courage to go and stop him, as he ordered me not to show my face to him again!!! I didn't know what to do anymore!!! Ram: I live for my Sri Gurudev, the Devatas, and Bhagwan!!! Losing anyone of them is unimaginable!

I can't live without any of them! Ram: I was in complete despair, I cried for many hours yet my Sri Gurudev left me! I was beyond hopeless! I don't know anyone else in this universe except them!!! Ram: I was weeping, sobbing, having panic attacks, confused, becoming anxious by every second! I was feeling terrified and I was unable to think anything, I was completely blank!!! I just wanted to go to future, I didn't want to stay in that state!

I wanted to go to a future where everything was normal and I was my Sri Gurudev's favorite again!!! Ram: Nothing else was going to make me normal! I continued sobbing and having panic attacks with a combination of anxiety and frightfulness!!! All I was able to do was apologize to everyone while lying on the floor and weeping!!! Ram: After few hours, Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA talked to me! Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA forgave me!!!

But Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA told me that what I had done was beyond forgiveness, I won't be forgiven from my Sri Gurudev that easily!!! Ram: I cried out by listening those words!!! Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA out of karunyam on me said that he will erase my memories of My Sri Gurudev and he will hide my astral powers for a time period so that I can continue living!!! Ram: I wanted to reject that idea, but I didn't had the guts to disobey Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA again! Moreover, I can't live without My Sri Gurudev!!!

The only thing I would do was to cry and sob for hours which would make me exhausted and I won't be eating anything as long as I won't see my Sri Gurudev!!! Ram: It's like doing Prayopavesam and my Sri Gurudev ordered me not to do Prayopavesam!!! Hence, I agreed with NARAYANA!!! As I didn't wanted to disobey any of them!!! Ram: I agreed with NARAYANA!!!

But I asked him that I want to remember all my memories with my SRI GURUDEV again in future, someday and I don't want to forget any of my experiences with Devatas and Bhagwan, I must have faith in them till my last breath!!! Ram: NARAYANA smiled and agreed on that condition of mine! Ram: NARAYANA said, that he would give my memories and astral powers back when the time for my marriage comes!!! Ram: It made me blush on listening that!

NARAYANA smiled and didn't talk to me again as we used to, until and unless I was in despair! Ram: I had lost all my memories of my Sri Gurudev but my faith towards Devatas and Bhagwan was always intact with me! Hence, even after forgetting my memories I still used to call Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA namas even if he didn't reply!!! [Ram after smiling with bliss] Ram: It was all worth it! Living is worth it!!! I know my Sri Gurudev never hated me! He hated my sins!!!

I know he loves me too, he is only doing this so that I would get rid of my karmas!!! Ram: All that my Sri Gurudev, Devatas and Bhagwan are that they are only capable of loving and blessing!!! They can't hurt anyone in the universe!!! All they can do is bless people!!! [Ram smiles without any regret or guilt and proudly says] Ram: I would love my Sri Gurudev, Devatas and Bhagwan even at my worst!!!

[Sunshine smiles and pats Ram's head] Ram: The day when I got my Sri Gurudev's memory, it was beyond my comprehension!!! I was feeling tremendous pain yet bliss, as at least I remembered him then!!! [Sunshine curiously] Sunshine: It was big sis Angel who made you remember about your Sri Gurudev, right? That's why you love her the most as she was the girl Bhagwan SRIMAN NARAYANA decided for you, right?

[Ram laughs a bit sarcastically and turns his face away] [Suddenly someone knocks the door] [Sunshine got shocked] [Sunshine's inner voice: What can be that important, that they dare to knock the door where Lord Ram is sleeping?] [Ram gets off the bed and approaches the door with a bit surprise] ----Meet you in the next deed, Guys