Chương 88: CDM 2, Chapter 24: Secret Shopper

"This might be as close as we can get," I said, coming to a stop on Route 51. I didn't dare pull all the way off the side for fear that my car would never get back out. The snow-packed roads were already challenging enough. We hadn't seen anyone else out here, so I could probably have parked lengthwise across the road, and it would have been perfectly fine.

"The river's only half a mile from here," Nathan observed, studying his own phone screen.

"We could save ourselves the hike and stay here while Kimmy goes ahead."

"I like that idea," Megan said. I agreed.

"We should film this, though," she added, and she was right. Once we had that sorted, Nathan launched Kimmy, and we watched her journey on his laptop screen. The process was an unexciting grid search. The trees might have been bare, but snow had recently fallen. If we zoomed out too far, we could easily miss something as simple as a cabin with snow on the roof. For the first hour, we saw trees and snow interrupted only by a few piles of garbage, an old engine block, and what was left of a house foundation.

We neared two hours of scanning when we finally spotted our first goblins. Several gathered firewood while a few attempted to fish the river despite the temperature. From above, seeing the shape of their trails was surprisingly easy now that we had starting points. They wore paths in the snow until they were mud, painting a network of footpaths all through the woods. Tracing them back to a hub didn't take much time, and what a hub it was.

They looked like concrete bunkers of mismatched sizes, but really they were the only parts of the mining operation that were too big of a pain to tear down. We almost missed them, to be honest, but a highlighter-pink graffiti tag saved the day. The goblins had converted Banning #2 Mine into a fortress. Our over-the-ant-hill view made them seem exceptionally industrious. Even in the cold, over 30 of them were out of the nest doing chores, making this infestation at least as large as the Chestnut Ridge nest.

Potentially over 100 goblin grunts, a few shamans, and maybe even a king or a champion.

"There's your problem," Nathan said. Megan giggled.

"Seriously, though, that's a heck of a nest." I nodded that I agreed. Megan added, "We could repeat the poisoning exercise."

"I don't think I want to make that a regular part of our process. I thought for sure I was going to end up poisoning myself."

"I'm glad you said that. I didn't really want to go that route either, but if it's off the table, what options do we actually have?"

"We do have Kimmy now, but I know we can't clear a nest that big, no matter how good the scouting is," I answered.

"A few levels and most of the nest except for a long or champion is manageable," Megan added. When she saw my mouth hanging open, she asked, "What?"

"Me and you clearing everything but a king?"

"Or champion. We're getting pretty good at this, and we're both running dex builds. We're designed for big groups of goblins. The right plan and positioning, we'd manage."

"I think I agree with you, actually," I admitted.

"Maybe we can use the frost giant playbook."

"Thermite?" Nathan asked.

"Low-tech is what I mean."

"Thermite is low-tech?"

"No, shh," I said.

"They hit them with big rocks first. Maybe a dumb trap with enough force solves the goblin king issue." Megan raised an eyebrow.

"Is that really a gamble you want to make?"

"No, not really. I'm just trying to think of something." We continued scouting the area. The goblin trails were numerous, making me certain that this was our goblin nest epicenter. The other goblins the CDM spotted with RAID were likely either scouts from this nest or new tribes that broke off of the original.

"Look at that," Megan said suddenly.

"There. Watch that one." What I thought was a rock at first glance was actually a hole. The goblin Megan pointed out sat on its butt, scooted toward the edge, and spun itself to climb down, disappearing beneath the forest.

"That's a lovely wrinkle," I said.

"How many of those do you think there are?" Nathan switched the view to thermal. The hole turned into a little, slightly warm puddle. The activity in the tunnels retained some level of heat, it seemed. How many underground goblins did you need to generate that much ambient heat?

"I see five already holes," Nathan said as the drone zoomed out. Megan pointed at the screen.

"There's six, and that's seven."

"If they're that good at tunnels, how good are they at traps?" I asked.

"Flanking risks galore," Megan added.

"Kimmy would help, but knowing where they are doesn't stop them from surrounding us." We spent the next hour mapping the area, charting trails and hidey-holes. The ones that we could find, anyway. There was no guarantee that all of the tunnels at that moment were warm enough to register on the thermal. We brought Kimmy back and shot a promo for Gate Girl Glitter. Since we wore helmets, Kimmy was the only one actually wearing any of the product, which looked as ridiculous as it sounds.

According to Beth, they initially asked for close-up shots of our lips as we applied the gloss. When Nathan heard she shut that down, he was distraught. He felt that would be a fantastic way to reveal that one of the Divas was a dude. Let them see the scruff around my mouth as I slop on glittery goodness and make pouty lips. Scouting footage wasn't riveting content, but we hoped the story aspect would hold people over.

If we were lucky, we would get a repeat of the Chestnut Ridge series, and people would watch it all from start to finish once they got a taste of the action. If we could find a way to tackle this nest, that is. The settler dry spell had officially hit. Nobody on the RAID project had been called in for a gate in days. Enforcer de Saint was especially frustrated, I think. She had gone her entire internship never running a gate, and now that she was ready to take that leap, there were no opportunities available.

In the time since we last spoke about an enchanter build, she only got as far as level 3. A few thousand XP to share amongst our team would have gone a long way for morale. The scrutiny on us because of the lawsuit meant our daily work not only had to be perfect, but we also had to spend hours with internal auditors going over footage.

We had to justify any time we adjusted a privacy blackout or removed the blackout temporarily because of crawler or harvester movement, even though the logs already contained that exact information. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. My extracurricular project with the EPA earned me bonus time with the auditors. They weren't particularly impressed, but the auditors also didn't show any obvious hints that they were concerned.

They still wanted to know everything, though. Having someone question your every choice was exhausting.

"Do you know what Beth wants?" Megan asked when I got back to my desk.

"Huh?"

"Check your phone," she said. Beth had texted me sometime during my talk with the auditors. It read:"Can you, Nathan, and Megan be at the apartment tonight for dinner? I have a surprise."

"I don't have a clue," I admitted to Megan.

"I hate surprises." Megan laughed.

"Me too. It's going to bother me all day."

"If I learn anything, I'll let you know." Beth had moved in with Megan, and this would be my first night over since helping with her things. She practically floated through the apartment when Nathan and I arrived. Nathan immediately asked about the surprise. Beth refused to tell him until we all sat down for dinner.

"Your apartment is bigger than ours," I mused to Megan.

"Why haven't we been hanging out here instead of at our place?"

"My roommate was a trauma nurse. Her sleep schedule was all over the place, and I didn't want to disturb her."

"Figures you'd have an excuse that's actually kind of nice." Megan laughed. Beth called us to the table. She made shepherd's pie, a multilayer meal of beef, mushrooms, green beans, and then mashed potatoes. It was my mom's recipe. Feeling that specific texture of crispy cheese teleported me back in time to family dinners, sitting around the table for a late meal after Bible study. I had no doubts that leaving the church was the right choice to make, but it wasn't all bad.

The green beans in the recipe were always from our garden, either freshly picked or from the canning we did ourselves. I liked helping in the garden, and eating anything I had a hand in growing gave me a unique kind of fulfillment. My dad loved shepherd's pie, so he was always in a good mood too when we had it for dinner. His praise for my mom's cooking brought a rare warmth to her smile. He was happy. She was happy. For all the bad, we had some good times.

Beth's shepherd's pie was good, but store-bought beans weren't the same.

"The Dungeon Divas got an interesting email," she said, setting stapled packets on the table in front of me and Megan.

"Whoa. You printed those out?" Nathan asked.

"Who even has a printer these days?"

"I went to a copy shop."

"So this must be a big deal." Her smile was so sincere, so proud and happy. I hadn't seen her like that since before Jonathan died. She gestured for us to read them. As we did, Beth explained, "Nad-Nade wants to sponsor the Dungeon Divas." Holy shit. Nad-Nade was a big-time energy drink company. They sponsored all sorts of crawlers and a myriad of extreme sports athletes. The papers in front of me were a contract.

"I talked with their Director of Influencer Marketing for an hour and a half," Beth continued.

"They think wild monster hunts are an untapped market. Viewership for the frost giants was crazy high, which I didn't think was surprising, but they have a theory that the Dungeon Divas are benefitting from a similar interest: People care more about monsters in their backyards than they do about monsters in the wilds. The danger feels more real."

"This is like a dream," Megan said, turning the pages of her contract.

"They also dig the secret identity angle.

'Hot and mysterious badasses' is how she described it on the phone." Nathan choked on his food and laughed through his coughs. By the time he recovered, his eyes were bloodshot and watery.

"I don't want to hear it," I warned.

"You're right. It's rude to catcall a woman." Turning my whole body to face Beth, I asked, "How would this work?" Beth's smile stretched even wider.

"They saw the scouting video you did at that mine and had an idea: Nad-Nade helps the Divas level, makes it part of a show they're sponsoring, and you put out supplemental material on the channel about that process. Then you come home and clear the nest with your new strength."

"Wait," I said.

"What does that actually mean?"

"They are launching a new reality show with these guys who specialize in helping people level, specifically the rich and famous. They go out of the country, and they run gates." Megan leaned forward so quickly that her chair made an awful groan as it dragged across the floor.

"No fucking way." These outfits weren't a secret. Most people called them "boosters," but only a few people could afford to hire them. If a trust fund kid leveled, it was often because they were escorted into wild gates by specially trained boosters.

"If they like the engagement we get, they'll sign a longer sponsorship contract."

"LootLootLouis is sponsored by Nad-Nade," Nathan said.

"You're saying there's a chance Meg and Dor get to do a run with someone like him?" Beth raised her hands.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. For the record, they expect Kimmy to be there too." Nathan tilted his head.

"What did you say?"

"I said this is an invitation for you too. They like Kimmy a lot, actually."

"Whoa," Nathan whispered. Beth continued, "I also think this will help us get more sponsors. If Nad-Nade is promoting the Dungeon Divas, that's really good for Frank and for Ironskin and for Gate Girl Glitter. Other sponsors would probably agree." Ironskin was the rashguard brand that sponsored Megan. They specialized in comfortable beneath-armor performance wear.

"I can't believe this," Megan gasped. Frank's sponsorship was paid for with an ironwood bow and Beth's internship. Ironskin paid in product but put a lot of effort into pushing our content around to help their marketing, which helped attract more viewers for our channel. Gate Girl Glitter was our first real sponsorship, something more than a handshake and a trade. The money wasn't incredible, but it was something.

This Nad-Nade offer was a whole new level, but this wasn't as easy in my mind as signing the agreement.

"We're already worried about scheduling," I said to Megan.

"What are the chances Chapman actually approves the time off for a trip like this?"

"I know this won't make us quit-your-job money," she began, "but maybe it's enough for me to quit mine. That way we only have to work around your schedule, and I can get a filler job for the other hours."

"I'm not letting you take that risk. It isn't fair for you to throw your career with the CDM away while I play it safe."

"I offered, Dor. I'm a big girl, and the opportunity is worth it. Now Beth, you said they liked the secret identity angle?"

"Everyone involved would sign an NDA," Beth explained.

"The people on set would meet the real yous, but none of that would be revealed on air. Remember that these boosters are used to clients wanting their privacy respected. The woman at Nad-Nade said they already expected to have to hide your identities and were fine with it."

"How much time do we have to decide?" I asked Beth.

"They want to hear back from us by Tuesday next week, at the latest."

"That fast?"

"We would fly out the week after. I think one of their original guests canceled, so the Divas are a last-minute replacement."

"So we talk to Chapman tomorrow?" Megan suggested.

"And tell her what exactly? That I'm a Dungeon Diva? She already doesn't take me seriously."

"I thought about this already," Beth interrupted.

"You won the chance to level from an energy drink contest. That's all you say, and it's the truth." I turned to Megan.

"I'm willing to brave Chapman for this." Megan asked Nathan, "What about your work schedule?" He shrugged.

"Works out well for me. We've got a slowdown coming up. Hours were going to be scarce anyway."

"That's-" I started, but Megan's phone buzzed.

"Hello? Yes, I can be there. Okay, thanks." She was already on her feet.

"I got a gate to clear. I'm serious about talking to Chapman tomorrow."

"So am I," I said. Megan bent over to hug Beth.

"Thank you so much for doing this."

"I didn't do anything. They emailed us."

"You negotiated with a billion-dollar brand. That's something for sure." Beth blushed.

"Proud of you," I added, giving Beth a hug myself.