Chương 173: CDM 3, Chapter 49: History

Enforcer de Saint, like most everyone at the CDM the next day, was more subdued than usual and very obviously distracted. 200 deaths and counting in Los Angeles had that effect on anyone with empathy. We were meant to focus on our jobs, on the here and now, but every time you looked at your phone, every time you overheard a piece of a conversation, you were reminded that ogres and death hounds had trampled through a major American city.

As that discourse evolved, those discussions increasingly blamed alleged CDM negligence and mismanagement for the destruction. Why was no one watching that gate more closely? Why had the CDM been so slow to update its satellite technology? What good were all the tax dollars we invested if people died anyway? When was the country going to ditch the overpaid meter maids and adopt a dungeon solution that was actually effective?

Never mind that no nation in the world had Stage 2 gate measurements incorporated into their national dungeon management efforts. Never mind that the technology for measuring Stage 2 gates was literally brand new. Never mind that we didn't have streamlined manufacturing or international standards for the new hardware, and some critics argued that a rushed deployment of a flawed solution could actually lead to an even greater loss of life.

As I went from a Buttymen harvest site to an Allegheny Delvers harvest site, with a Homestead Strikers site next on the list, I couldn't argue with the meter maid comparisons. Nonstop inspections and fines seemed to be the only way to keep corporations honest and consistent about workplace safety, but it was hard to feel like I was saving anyone's life by writing up a citation for a forklift inspection that expired yesterday.

"You doing okay?" de Saint asked as she waited for a light to change.

"Yeah, I'm alright. It's been a long few days, is all."

"Few days? Feels like a long few months to me." I laughed.

"I wanted to say that, but I worried it sounded too much like whining."

"Did it sound like whining when I said it?"

"A bit, yeah." De Saint glared at me.

"You must be doing alright if you're still making jokes."

"Does every day feel like the end of the world to you?"

"Sometimes. More recently, all the time."

"Humanity seems like it has so much potential, but it also seems like we never stop losing ground. I used to think that was doomer brain telling me everything was a sign of the Rapture, but now… Yeah, I don't know." Nodding, she replied, "We've all got doomer brain if that's the case. I feel that way too. It's silly and petty, but getting reamed by McDouglas made that worse, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I mean, whole families got massacred by ogres, and I'm upset my boss yelled at me."

"Don't get me started on that."

"Now I definitely want to," de Saint joked.

"Let it out, Gray. This is a safe place."

"I left the church because I wanted to get away from mystical bullshit handwaving for how things worked or for explaining why something happened. I thought that the real world would have straight answers, that it would be more direct. What do I do? I hitch my wagon to the most hands-off 'method to his madness' Enforcer in the whole CDM. It's like I can't help myself."

"He surprised everyone yesterday," she replied.

"Chapman looked beside herself."

"What do you mean?"

"When you guys closed in on the plant, he made a comment to the effect of, 'Someone is going to die because of this mistake.' Chapman wanted him to radio that, but he refused.

'No coddling' and 'sometimes they have to learn the hard way' were his major arguments. Then Hornby went down… I thought I was about to watch my friends wipe."

"I pushed for this," I said.

"If someone dies, it all comes back to me convincing McDouglas to take a chance on our party."

"Good Lord, Gray. No, that doesn't make it your fault if someone dies."

"No one would be in this situation if it weren't for me. Hornby and Giago would be with properly trained hunters. Megan would be moving into Enforcer management. You and Nathan would have stayed on your career trajectories."

"Is this a variation of what doomers call 'original sin?'" de Saint asked.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I always hated how Eve was made out to be some kind of foolish villain for taking the apple. Yes, God said, 'Don't eat this,' but Adam and Eve lived in a utopia. They were safe. They were fed. As the first humans, they had no concept of danger, and where would they learn the ideas of deceit and deception? Was the serpent the first being to ever lie to them? If so, how would Eve know to be suspicious of what she was told? And why was the serpent allowed into the garden in the first place?"

"I don't disagree…"

"You're Eve in this situation," de Saint explained.

"Yeah, you said, 'Please put us on the team.' That might have kicked off the chain of causality, but you don't know what you don't know. When it was obvious we were about to make a mistake on that hunt, he should have stepped in. He had access to knowledge and experience we didn't, and he chose to withhold it. He made a deliberate decision, knowing full well it could have ended in tragedy. I'm all for owning our mistakes, but this is different."

"Yeah," I said.

"I see your point."

"Hornby getting hit was obviously a bad thing, but what I saw was a team that relied on each other and trusted each other to make the right decisions. He went down, but you got him to safety, and he was back in the fight a few seconds later. But what do I know about hunting tactics?" De Saint saw me check my phone.

"Nathan wants to know if you're still coming over to watch the moon landing," I said.

"Yeah, I wish it wasn't so late."

"How dare those Japanese want to land on the moon during their daylight hours."

"Very inconsiderate," de Saint agreed.

"Everything should be Eastern Standard Time."

"Agreed."

"But yeah. I'll be over. How is all the renovation going, by the way?" This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. I laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure Nathan will insist you take the tour."

"The lounge should be finished in the next few weeks," I heard Nathan say as he and de Saint came down the stairs to the first floor of the guild house.

"The spiral staircase industry is full of corruption, I've learned."

"Why do you say that?" she asked as she joined Megan, Beth, Kwame, and me around the television.

"They keep delaying the order. When I bought it, they promised me it was in stock, but the timeline sure as hell feels like they didn't have one sitting in the warehouse ready to ship."

"I have heard that spiral staircases are inherently untrustworthy," de Saint teased.

"Did we miss anything?" Nathan asked as he sat. On the screen, newscasters commented over a stream of the moon lander soaring through the dark of space while subtitles translated the communication between the JAXA astronauts and ground control.

"They're still in space," Kwame reported. Nathan furrowed his brow and studied Kwame intensely.

"alright, Bethamin, he can stay. I like the cut of his jib."

"I'm very grateful for your approval," Beth replied. Megan leaned forward to speak to Kwame.

"You know by now not to take him seriously, right?"

"Is liking the 'cut of someone's jib' a bad thing? I don't know what that means, but it sounded positive."

"Dude, it's the highest of praises." I was happy to listen and to scroll on my phone as the 1 a. m. ET moon landing approached. Cold beer and mindless dopamine went well together. A headline caught my eye: "Unnamed Source Says The Wilds: Race Asia Cut Footage of Native Corpses from Final Edit." According to one unidentified leaker, Valcuree's team happened upon the aftermath of a battle between native inhabitants of what used to be Pakistan and unidentified monsters.

More than 10 bodies, at least 3 of whom were children, were found by the crawlers as they left the main race route to run a nearby B gate. The same leaker alleged that footage of native inhabitants had been cut from previous seasons of The Wilds as well, though this scene was by far the most gruesome. Human rights activists latched onto the story, arguing that it was more evidence of the dehumanization of people that 'civilization left behind' when they fled the destruction wrought by dungeon gates.

Even before Megan discovered that Bluewater had deleted our footage of encountering locals in China, I would have said this story was plausible but dubious. After all, how could a whole production crew be kept quiet about something like encountering locals in the wilds? Multiperson conspiracies just seemed so unlikely. But now? I didn't doubt that show producers would hesitate to revise the narrative.

Hell, Nad-Nade was more than comfortable using body doubles to represent the Dungeon Divas in TheUnderDome photoshoot. Reality was much more malleable than I realized, apparently.

"Dor," Nathan said to get my attention.

"Hmm?"

"Should we tell her now or wait?" I needed a second to understand his meaning.

"It's your show. We can do it now if you want." Nathan grinned.

"Rainy, catch." He tossed a set of keys at de Saint. She caught them awkwardly with her arms since she had a beer in one hand and her phone in the other. The keys ultimately landed in her lap.

"What are these for?" she asked.

"You aren't obligated to, but if you want the last open apartment upstairs, it's yours."

"Rent-free?"

"Hell no!" Nathan replied.

"Dude, I've got a mortgage to pay, and you're responsible for your own utilities. You like long hot showers? That's fine because you're paying for them." De Saint laughed and held up her hands.

"I was joking. You really wouldn't mind if I moved in?"

"Not at all, but it's totally optional. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Are you kidding? My landlord is an asshole, and I've been waiting three months for him to get the dryer fixed."

"Your new landlord would be an asshole too," Megan added. Nathan shrugged.

"She's right."

"For real, though, thank you, guys. Yes, I'd love to move in."

"Great!" Nathan said.

"We just need authorization to run a credit check. Then we'll need the first and last month's rent plus a security deposit. Please provide three letters of recommendation from non-family members, professional colleagues preferred." Megan elbowed Nathan.

"They're making their descent now," a voice on the television said. The guild hall went quiet. I looked up to watch a tin can with camp chair legs descend toward the chalky, desolate surface of the moon. We were watching history being made. For the first time, humans were about to set foot on an astral body that wasn't Earth. The landing was slow and unexciting.

Our perspective cut between the two astronauts in the lander and cameras on the outside that showed the ground rising up to meet them, punctuated by bursts of corrective air to keep the vehicle on course. When the lander touched down, I felt a tension in my chest release, a nervousness I hadn't even known was there.

"The astronauts have a checklist to complete before they can open the doors," the commentator said.

"So far, JAXA is saying that everything is going according to plan." While they did all of their checks, the cameras outside of the lander panned around to take in the view of the landscape. In the background, a blue marble hung suspended in darkness.

"Of all the pictures from space I've seen, having the surface of the moon in the picture makes it feel… smaller?" Kwame mused.

"All of human history took place on that one rock," de Saint replied.

"It does feel smaller, doesn't it?"

"This is so fucking cool," Nathan said. Megan leaned into him and rubbed his knee. To fill the time before the astronauts officially stepped out of the lander, the commentators continued.

"Interest in space exploration has renewed in recent months," one said.

"We've heard officials within JAXA describe it as 'humanity's only hope' if Stage 2 gates continue to challenge life on Earth. There are critics of that position, of course, but it's hard not to feel like this is a moment where human history changes forever."

"This is a meaningful step forward," another commentator replied.

"We are still a long way from colonizing another planet, however. A manned mission to Mars is expected to take two decades of preparation, and that doesn't get us anywhere near traveling to a planet capable of sustaining life."

"I'm trying to imagine all the emotions the astronauts must be feeling right now. To be the first humans on the moon, it must- Oh, they're preparing to exit the lander." The commentators went quiet as a JAXA astronaut turned to climb down the lander ladder. I knew that gravity was far lower on the moon, but he seemed to move in slow motion, as if wanting to be certain of every foot and handhold before moving to the next.

When I thought about how I would feel in that situation, I remembered the first time I climbed down a barn ladder as a child. The loft seemed so high, and I was so small. My whole body shook as I lowered a foot and poked around for the next rung. Even when I found it, I was wary of trusting it. If that was enough to scare me, what would stepping onto the moon do to my nerves? The isolation these astronauts must have felt. They were so far from help.

Everyone was watching, but if something went wrong, no one could come for them. The first boot pressed into the dusty ground, and then the second. The camera cut to a view from the astronaut's head cam. He held a paper crane in his hand and slowly bent over to place it on the ground. He spoke, and we had to wait a moment for the translation. As he placed the paper crane, he said, "I will write peace on your wings, and you will fly all over the universe." I wiped tears from my eyes.

"Why is this fucking me up so much?" Nathan whispered.

"It's amazing," Beth added.

"Do paper cranes have that much significance in Japanese culture?" Kwame asked. De Saint had to clear her throat before she could speak. She too wiped away tears.

"There's a folktale about how folding 1, 000 paper cranes earns someone a wish," de Saint explained.

"They are often given to the sick to represent a sort of prayer. What he said was actually a modification of the quote, 'I will write peace on your wings, and you will fly all over the world.'""Who said it originally?"

"Sadako Sasaki. She was two years old when the bomb fell on Hiroshima. Supposedly, she folded over 1, 300 cranes before dying from leukemia at twelve."