Chương 29: The Starboy Leaves For The Second Time

Enel did not sleep much that night. No, Widow's Wall did not sleep. How could they, anyway? In the span of a single day, the Lord Commander Duncan arrived to execute their lord for treason, only for everything to be stopped by the Duke of the North. It was as if, as soon as Enel once again made their bells toll, Widow's Wall started moving again, and oh, did it move. Now, like the rest of Widow's Wall, Enel lay in his room with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling he had stared at since he was small.

The cracks were the same, the bed felt the same. Even the window, where he and Lamb had spent sneaking in and out to still had the marks of their dirty feet. But everything felt different. He hurt his father. He hurt his mother. He had been proven wrong, again and again. He spent hours staring at the wall, and when he realized he wouldn't get sleep, Enel stepped out behind the manor and found Robert there. His father stood near their garden, whose life was slowly returning to it.

Robert wore a simple coat over his sleeping clothes, and the bandage around his head had been changed, though a red stain had already begun spreading at the edge.

"You should be resting, Father." Robert smiled, not turning his head to him as he approached.

"I believe that line belongs to me." Enel stopped beside him and looked down at the garden and saw that for once, something was growing there. And for a while, neither of them spoke. Then Enel asked, "Are we bad nobles?" Robert's smile faded, and Enel continued looking at the surviving earth.

"Guinevere said many things earlier."

"That was yesterday, son. Did you not sleep? And Guinevere, you need to take care of her, son. She might be older than you, but... she is special, like you. Her mind works differently from yours and mine. Whatever she says, she means well—""She is right," Enel interrupted his father.

"She said that our wells are bad, that sickness spreads on our fields. She said Widow's Wall is failing, and it was not only her. When I journeyed outside the kingdom, people had the same sentiment."

"Son..."

"I wanted to protect our name, but when I saw their sheds looked better than our manor, and their roads completely flat... Forgive me, Father, I could not say anything. I... could not say anything because they are right."

"Ah."

"It quickly became known to me that we are poor," Enel said.

"Now I wonder if we were also wrong." Robert lowered himself slowly onto the stone bench nearby. He groaned a little as he sat, but did not allow Enel to help him down.

"It's fine. Just come sit with me." he patted the bench. Enel sat beside him, but Robert remained quiet. But after a few moments of them just staring ahead, Robert sighed.

"No," he said at last.

"We are not bad nobles." Enel looked at him.

"But we are also not good."

"Then does that not mean we are bad, Father?"

"Just not good enough." Robert touched the bandage near his ear.

"A bad noble would hear his people starving and sleep well. A bad noble would close his gates. A bad noble would look at Widow's Wall and think only of what he had lost, not what he could still save. Do you think we are like that?"

"... No."

"Enel." Robert leaned back.

"There exists an area between the good and the bad, the light and the dark. The gray... and we are in that."

"I... do not understand, Father." Enel lowered his head.

"Why would we want to be in the... gray?"

"We don't want to be there. We are put there."

"Then we do not have a choice, again?" Enel looked at his father.

"And, seeing Widow's Wall... are we not closer to the bad, Father?" Robert looked away and gritted his teeth. And with much hesitance, he nodded. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

"I... do not think the gray should exist, Father."

"That is a dangerous thought, son."

"I can... do something about it."

"No!" Robert raised his voice.

"That is something you should never do."

"But we have been letting them step over us, I realized that now. Why?"

"Because there are hierarchies, my son. I have taught you that. Kill the Lord Commander, then kill the duke. Then they send an entire army after us. Who is next? The only thing we can do is accept it if we do not want another war."

"Then how do we become good nobles, Father? I want us to be good." Robert smiled sadly.

"I have been asking myself that for years." Enel adjusted his tunic.

"Do you think I would get the answer from the Crown's Guild?"

"Maybe. I... was never invited there."

"What? But..." Enel became quiet after that. He looked at the growing garden, staring at the sprouts trying to penetrate a surface untouched for years.

"Did you know the attacks from the Dark Forest stopped when I returned, Father?"

"Hm."

"You knew. The attacks also began when I left."

"Yes."

"Mother knew."

"Yes."

"Lamb knew."

"She was the one who noticed," Robert said. Enel looked toward the wall and the glowing fog lining above it.

"I heard something from the forest. It was crying, I think." Robert's face tightened.

"Enel—""I do not want to leave," Enel said.

"Not when the forest is moving. Not when Widow's Wall might only be safe because I am here."

"Son—""But I must go," Enel continued.

"Because if I stay as I am, I will hurt people again." The morning air soon moved between them. Robert looked at his son for a while, then stood and placed a hand on Enel's shoulder.

"Then go," he said.

"Return to us... a good noble. Better than I ever was and could be."

"I know that we are not good nobles, Father... But I do not think that there is a noble better than you are."

"You—""You've taught him flattery too well, my love." Mira's voice came from behind them.

"Perhaps, too well." Enel turned.

"Mother." His mother stood at the edge of the manor, her hair loose over one shoulder. The burns on her palm were wrapped now, but Enel still saw them as if the cloth were not there. Mira approached and placed one wrapped hand against his cheek.

"Go wherever you need to be. Learn what they teach," she said.

"But do not let them make you ashamed of what you are."

"I do not know what I am."

"What?" Mira smiled faintly.

"You are Enel of House Blackwood. Our son, before anything else. No one in the realm is strong enough to change that, not even you."

"Mother..." Mira pulled him close. He lowered himself slightly so she would not have to lift her arms too high. Robert joined them a moment later, and for a while, Enel only stood between his parents and listened to what they had to say to him, and he listened even closer. His father's heart was steady. His mother's breath was warm.

"Go wherever you need to be," Mira repeated.

"But promise you will return to us." Everything went quiet after that. He closed his eyes in his parents' embrace, and that was all the rest he needed. And soon, the warmth of the sun blanketed his face. Peaceful... until he met with Lamb after.

"No."

"Lamb—""No." Enel stood in the yard while the duke's men prepared the horses near the gate. Guinevere was already speaking to one of them about the number of supplies they were carrying, and Tiny was trying to secure Enel's pack. Lamb stood in front of Enel with both arms crossed and her sword at her waist.

"I am going," she said.

"I already stayed behind when you needed me last time!"

"No," Enel said. Tiny glanced at them, then looked at Guinevere.

"They have been going at it for an hour." Guinevere looked at them, but did not say anything and just continued checking their supplies.

"You do not tell me no, Enel."

"I just did." Her eyes narrowed.

"You are going to a place full of nobles and soldiers and people who will look at you like you are something they can use. I am going."

"Widow's Wall needs you."

"Widow's Wall has Lady Mira. And the duke and most of his people are staying!"

"You are, too." Lamb's jaw tightened.

"Then why is that fucking little tit coming?"

"Because he is my Hand."

"And I am your Sword."

"Then protect what I can't."

"You—" For a moment, Lamb looked angry enough to strike him, so she had to look away because she didn't want to hurt her hand again.

"Please, Lamb. I'm afraid of what might happen while I'm gone. That's why I am asking you to stay." Lamb's lips trembled, and she immediately frowned harder. And before she could answer, another voice spoke.

"If you stay, I will train you." Lamb turned. Duke Gawen stood near the broken part of the manor wall, his cloak folded over one arm. Lamb stared at him.

"I... will not become one of your men."

"Good. I do not need more men." Duke Gawen scoffed.

"I need warriors." Lamb's hand moved toward her sword.

"I could bite you."

"Ha!" Gawen smiled, then moved before Lamb could blink, stopping right in front of her with his teeth bared. Gawen stared down at her, but Lamb did not look away at all.

"You are weak."

"You—""But you have potential greater than even the Lord Commander. You move before the danger," Gawen stepped back.

"That is rare." Lamb's anger shifted slightly, confused by the praise.

"And wasted," Gawen continued, "if left only to instinct."

"I am not wasted. I will become stronger than you and that dog."

"Then prove it." Lamb stared at him for several breaths. Then she turned back to Enel.

"If something happens to you while we are apart, I will kill you."

"I know." Enel smiled. Lamb then stepped forward and punched him in the chest. Her hand hurt more than he did, but she did not flinch. She only placed her fist on her chest, then the back of it on her forehead.

"Stand taller than any wall, M'lord."

"I will." And with those words, he turned. He mounted his horse and rode away, only stopping as they passed through the gates of Widow's Wall. For a moment, he tried to listen and closed his eyes. And the world opened a little. He could hear Lamb sniffling, and Mira trying to comfort her. Then, beyond all of it, something from the Dark Forest whispered again. Not words, at least not yet. But it was there... waiting. Enel opened his eyes, then lightly patted his horse.

"Let us go." And once again, the young lord of Widow's Wall leaves.... with Duncan trailing behind them from afar, under the Duke's orders.