Chương 289: Book 5 - Chapter 14 - The most corporate place on earth

"This is… a lot," I muttered as I stood in front of the truck and waited for everyone to gather. Nimbleland was a riot of sights and sounds, flashing lights and screaming people. And that was before we were even inside the gates. The outer walls were covered in holo billboards, which alternated between showcasing the various distractions and showing live footage of the inside of the park. Even though I found the rapidly swapping displays were giving me a headache, they did a good job of getting everyone hyped up.

"Look! Samurai Man is fighting the hateful horde!" Eddie gasped. I never would have expected that he would be excited by this stuff, based upon his interests in poetry and literature, but at the end of the day he was just a kid. Flashing lights and loud noises were exciting.

"Alright, you lot, listen up!" I shouted to draw everyone's eyes away from the billboards.

"Even though we're here for fun, our first priority is safety. Everyone is going to be assigned a bot as an escort, and you kids aren't allowed to go anywhere without an adult."

"Even the bathrooms?" Eddie asked cautiously.

"Even the bathrooms," Jane confirmed as she stepped up next to me.

"Safe fun is the best fun." Alan scoffed, rolling his eyes at my declaration, so I slowly turned my head until I was staring directly at him. His little smirk promptly died.

"Safe fun is the best fun," I said, repeating Jane's impromptu motto. This time Alan nodded.

"Alright, everyone do a quick aug check. Make sure your family tracking function is working, in case we get separated."

"The what?" Issi asked.

"When you guys got your aug updates, I made sure they had built-in tracking, so we could find everyone in an emergency," I explained.

"It's simple to use, but…" I navigated through all the different menus in my augments, trying to figure out the best way to describe the complicated process to the seven-year-old. After a minute of silently flailing around in the menus, I figured it out.

"Nyx, would you mind helping the kids engage the tracking app?" I asked.

"And, if possible, make it a little more intuitive so they can do it in an emergency."

"It would be my pleasure," Nyx declared, using one of the escort foxes. The kids simultaneously made faces, ranging from surprise to concentration, as Nyx quickly personalized their augments, making them easier to use. Issi was the first to finish, a massive smile breaking out on her face.

"Thank you, Mx. Nyx!"

"Mx?" Alan asked.

"Mhmm," Issi hummed.

"Nyx isn't a Mr. or a Miss; they're a Mx!" Alan just shook his head. We waited until everyone had performed the relevant checks, then headed towards the gates. A lot of people turned and stared when we stepped into line, both adults and kids. At first I was a little self-conscious, unsure why they'd be staring. Until I realized that Bob was looming over me.

"Right," I mumbled.

"They're not used to seeing the bears around here, and most people don't bring their own mascots. Nyx, are we going to have a problem getting the bots through the gate?"

"It probably would have been smart to ask that before stepping into line," Nyx replied, drawing chuckles from the rest of the family, "but no. The system actually seems to have a built-in backdoor for samurai to use. I've already used it to register the bears as a personal security team." Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

"Isn't that… dangerous? Leaving a backdoor like that?" Jennifer whispered.

"Couldn't someone other than a samurai use it to mess with the system?"

"Normally, yes, but this is quite a complex algorithm. I suspect one of my AI siblings may have installed it after cutting through the spaghetti code here," Nyx explained.

"The code is so bad that the AIs got tired of dealing with it?" Jennifer laughed.

"How often do samurai visit this place?"

"I'm unsure… But after a cursory glance at the system, I can tell you they made sweeping changes to the system, and quite recently. The security system has been rewritten from the ground up," Nyx reported.

"Hey, if it works in our favor, I'm not going to complain," I said as we moved up to the ticket kiosk.

"Welcome to Nimbleland! The most wonderful place in the lower east side of Vancouver," the cashier declared. Since they were dressed up in an oversized mascot costume that made them look like a cartoony magical girl, I thought they might be a person at first, but the rough, jerky actions gave them away as a service bot. A cheap one too.

"How many in your party today?"

"Ummm… Three adults, three children, and six security bots?" replied uncertainly. The cashier froze for a minute, so I reached into the booth and waved my hand in front of its oversized head.

"Hello?" It jerked to life, head spasming.

"Ugh… no wonder there was a complete security rewrite. The cashier software crashed when it received a reply that didn't fall into the basic child, adult, or senior categories. I'll fix it," Nyx exclaimed through the dummy.

"I've registered the purchase of twelve premium passes in the system and transferred the money from your account."

"Wait? Premium pass? There are different levels?" I asked.

"Yes, the basic pass does not include complementary rides, only gives you access to food carts, not the food court, and, most importantly, does not include complementary bathroom access," Nyx explained.

"You do not want the basic pass."

"Noted. Anything else?" I asked.

"That's it. The park works on biometric authentication, and you've all been registered as guests, so you're good to go," Nyx declared. The automaton jerked again, then seemed to resume its pre-programmed routine.

"And that's it, you're good to go! I hope you and your family enjoy your fabulous day here at Nimbleland!"

"Thanks," I mumbled as I stepped through the turnstile.

"Wooooowwww…" Issi muttered as she followed me through.

"Pretty."

"It's something alright," Jane agreed. Just beyond the turnstile was a wide plaza dressed up like a fantasy land. The buildings had a plastic, cartoony facade, and there were dozens of mascots wandering around. Although these were better than the cashier, I could still see the momentary pauses that only bots would have. There were flowerbeds and greenspaces everywhere. It probably looked incredible just a couple weeks ago, but all the displays showed subtle signs of Antithesis activity.

They'd already replaced most of the foliage and repaired the damage, but the new trees and flowers hadn't had enough time to grow together organically yet. I wasn't going to mention the Antithesis to the family. The aliens were long gone, and it would only put everyone on edge if they knew.

"So, what's first? A parade or something?" I asked.

"The samurai parade," Jane exclaimed excitedly.

"All the mascots gather, then march towards the central plaza. Once there, they'll perform a mock battle against the hateful horde."

"Let me guess, the hateful horde is supposed to be Antithesis?" I grumbled.

"In puppet form," Jennifer shuddered.

"A lot of people find them cute, but the main ones give me the creeps. They look extremely similar to the Model Threes that I saw back in the junkyards. They make me uncomfortable."

"Yeah, I remember it took you weeks to recover after we finally found you and dug you out of that trunk," I muttered. I glanced over at the rest of our family unit. Issi and Eddie seemed to be wandering around in a daze, trying to stare at all the shiny signs. Jane was corralling them while being similarly starstuck, and Alan was standing there, bored.

"I know we came here early so we could catch the parade and spend time as a family, but do you mind if Jennifer and I skip out on the parade part? We'll meet up with you after it's done," I said.

"But the parade is fun! And we get to see the samurai beat up the bad guys! Hoo Hah!" Issi cried, performing some of the clumsy boxing moves that Nora had been teaching everyone.

"It sounds super exciting, but it's not for everyone," I explained, patting Issi on the head. Jane bit her lip and glanced between Jennifer and me.

"Do you really find them that unsettling?" she asked Jennifer quietly. The girl nodded quietly, slipping behind me slightly. I hadn't seen her act that skittish in over a year. Her actions said way more than her words.

"In that case, we won't force you to stick around. The parade takes about an hour, so how about we meet up at the food court once it's done? We'll have lunch, then go on some rides as a family. How's that sound?" Jane declared.

"Fine! We'll meet you there," I replied. When Jane turned back and started slowly herding Eddie and Issi towards the central plaza, I silently signaled Deadbeat and one of the foxes. The pair split off from the family and came to stand behind Jennifer and I.

"So, we have just over an hour," I said.

"What would you like to do?"